When the conversation died down Luke spoke up. “Since Debra and I have been really blessed this year, we want to share some of our good fortune.” He paused for effect. “So we’ve decided that for my big brother’s anniversary we’re going to send you guys to Hawaii.”
Peter shot a frantic glance toward Hannah who tactfully said, “That’s very kind of you. Before you leave we’ll have to check our calendar to see when we can fit it in.”
“Don’t mention it,” Luke said putting his arm around Debra. “We know that you guys have been talking about going for years now and figured ‘why not?’”
“Thanks a lot,” Peter said. “A toast to Luke and Debra and to generosity.” Peter raised his glass and the rest of the table followed his lead. Everyone took a sip, and as they turned their attention to their meal, small conversations sprang up around the table.
“It must be nice to get out of the assisted living center,” Susan said to Abraham who ate feebly.
“It’s good ta live life the way God intended it ta be lived, with laughin’ an’ jokin’ and everyone enjoyin’ each other’s company fer a day,” Abraham admitted. “Kinda makes me wish Thanksgivin’ came more than once a year. Even if it’s all faked I don’t care. At my age I’m just glad fer the opportunity ta pretend ta be happy.”
The family ate and continued making small talk. Nobody mentioned trips to the doctor, visits to storage sheds, operations, recently dissolved relationships, or those that were rapidly decaying. Unlike the rest of the family who hesitated out of tact to bring up any of the uglier aspects of the past several weeks, Lewis mentioned his note to Summer Wallburn. He explained that she had been sick all week and so he hadn’t gotten a response yet.
“She’s probably just lovesick,” Luke suggested. Lewis didn’t understand that his uncle was trying to make a joke, and looked around the blank faces of those seated at the table to try and gauge what his reaction should be.
“I think you’re a little young for a girlfriend anyway,” Hannah said.
“Oh, come on,” Peter interjected. “It’s normal for a boy his age to ask a girl out. What harm could come of it?”
“If she says yes you need to remember to treat her like a gentleman,” Julia chimed in.
“But girls really like it when you surprise them with a big kiss on the lips,” Thomas added.
“Thomas!” Julia said sharply. She turned back to Lewis. “Don’t listen to a word he says about girls. He doesn’t know anything at all.”
“She would like it if you did something spontaneous every once in a while,” Hannah corrected. She didn’t want to condone Lewis having a girlfriend at such a young age, but she couldn’t help putting in her two cents.
Lewis surveyed the table unsure of what to do with the sudden onslaught of advice.
“Don’t look at me,” Peter said. “You should just hope you get lucky and maybe everything will turn out alright in the end.”
“Don’t pay attention to your father. You never just get lucky. To have a good relationship you have to put in a lot of effort,” Hannah said in reply.
When everyone had finished eating Hannah and Debra served pie and ice cream in the living room. Polite conversation continued until Abraham began to snore.
“Julia, I think you should take your grandfather back to the nursing home,” Debra said under her breath. Susan agreed and said that she needed to be going also. Julia woke Abraham up, and with Susan’s help, led him out to the car. Once they were on the interstate, Julia spoke up.
“You remember when you told me that I should help people,” Julia said.
Abraham nodded his head.
“On my way back to my house there was this guy on the side of the road and I stopped to offer him a ride, but he had a knife. I got scared and slammed on the gas and he hit his head on the inside of my door.”
“What’d you learn from that?” Abraham asked.
“Not to stop and offer people a ride,” Julia answered.
Susan nodded her head in agreement from the backseat.
“Maybe a young girl like you shouldn’t be offerin’ rides ta strangers, but I was hopin’ you’d learn somethin’ ‘bout being able ta get out a’ a tough spot, ‘bout bein’ able ta handle a situation. You know that when you help other people there’s always a good chance they’re goin’ ta try ta take advantage a’ you. An’ lots of those who don’t try an’ take advantage a’ you, they’re not goin’ ta ‘preciate what you’re tryin’ ta do fer ‘em. Some people’re goin’ ta be mad at you fer tryin’ ta help ‘em, an’ others’ll never believe that you’re really tryin’ ta help, and they’re goin’ ta be mean ta you ‘cause they think you’re tryin’ ta scam ‘em, ‘cause that’s what they’d be doin’ in your situation.”
“So I shouldn’t bother trying to help other people at all?” Julia asked, trying to clarify her grandfather’s advice.
“I never said that,” Abraham replied sharply. This world’s sorry enough as it is. All these smart people learnin’ that it’s easier not ta help others gets me thinkin’ that maybe we’d all be better off with some kind a’ mental problem. You learn lots a’ stuff by experience but there are some things you just got ta decide you’re not ever goin’ ta learn.
“Thomas’s used to talk like that in high school,” Julia offered. “You know, he was going to make the world a better place.”
“That boy’s more mixed up than a drunk baboon,” Abraham objected. “I never said nothing ‘bout making this whole world better ‘cause you’re never goin’ ta do that. You got ta decide not ta learn some things this world’s tryin’ ta teach you ‘cause if you learned half a’ what it’s tryin’ ta offer, you’d be just as sad as the rest of ‘em. You gotta help people so you don’t get lost in all the mess they’re lost in. You gotta do it ‘cause you really care ‘bout the people you’re tryin’ ta help an’ want ‘em ta be better. Aint nobody who doesn’t want ta make the world a better place, but not many people are goin’ ta take care a’ that bum on the street ‘cause they all care deeply ‘bout people ‘till someone needin’ help is standin’ right smack in front a’ ‘em. That’s when you know if they really mean all that stuff ‘bout makin’ the world better or not. Not that I’ve got any right ta be talkin’. I’m no better than anyone else, but that’s the way it is.”
They drove the rest of the way in silence. When they arrived at Grace Assisted Living Center, Susan helped Julia get Abraham to his room, and into his bed.
“Thanks for helping,” Julia said as she and Susan walked out of the room.
“Thanks for inviting me,” Susan answered.
“I kind of forced it on you,” Julia admitted. “Were you glad you came?”
“Of course.”
“It seemed like you were pretty uncomfortable is why I ask.”
“Your family was really great, but,” Susan began, but hesitated.
“But what?”
“Well, I don’t know if I should say”
“Well you have to now. What is it?” Julia urged.
“Does your dad by any chance go out to drink after work?”
“He has been going out to the bars a little more lately. I think he used to have a real problem with alcohol. Why?”
“I’m pretty sure that he’s hit on me before.”
“What do you mean?”
“I was out with one of my girlfriends and he was there with this other guy. They sat next to us at the bar and started asking us the same kinds of questions that guys always ask when they’re interested. I don’t think he remembered me though. I wouldn’t have expected him to because I wasn’t exactly dressed professionally if you know what I mean.”
Julia stared blankly.
“I’m sorry,” Susan said quickly. “I shouldn’t have said anything. I wasn’t thinking about him being your father and all. And maybe it was another guy who just looked like him. I might have been mistaken. I shouldn’t have said anything about it. You should just forget everything.”
/> “No. I’m glad to know,” Julia said. “I’m done hiding from facts just because they’re not pleasant. But even if it had been my father who hit on you, you wouldn’t have needed to worry, not with my family at least. They’re so busy being afraid that someone will discover their own secrets that they don’t have time to notice anyone else’s. Sometimes I think being a completely worthless human being runs in our family.” Julia didn’t address this last comment to anyone in particular.
“Don’t be so hard on your relatives. It runs in everyone’s family. At least you guys still get together on Thanksgiving. My family doesn’t even do that anymore.”
“I’d rather have everything crumble down than be held up by a façade,” Julia said.
“Maybe,” Susan said. “But either way I was really glad to be able to eat with you guys. I’m thankful for that. It makes me forget that I don’t have much else. That’s why suicides are so high this time of year you know. I especially see it in my line of work. Who knows, maybe your family’s façade kept me from spending the afternoon depressed; it might have saved my life.” There was enough humor in Susan’s voice that Julia couldn’t tell if she was being serious or only trying to comfort her with a macabre joke.
“Maybe so,” Julia said with forced levity.
Chapter 12
“Unseen Stars”
The night my house burned down
Mrs. Johnson came out and stood with my mom
who was wrapped up in grandma’s old quilt.
The other neighbors stood or sat on their porches.
Tommy Johnson, my best friend, climbed on the fire truck.
But I didn’t feel like playing.
My teacher at school told me that I shouldn’t be sad.
She told me that there were kids all over the world
who never had houses or toys. A lot of them never got food either.
She said I should be happy because I was so much luckier than them.
But I was sad anyway.
At science time we learned about stars.
My teacher said that stars are huge balls of fire.
“They’re bigger than the whole world,” she said.
But they didn’t light up the night like my house did.
When my house was burning down nobody paid any attention
to the huge balls of fire that burned way up in the sky.
Little fires shine brighter if they’re close to home.
On Friday the family ate leftovers, another Manchell family tradition. After lunch Debra helped Hannah convert some of the remaining turkey into turkey and dumplings, and Hannah resisted the urge to ask Debra how someone so tactful and sophisticated could take such a socially inept buffoon for her husband. When the phone rang Hannah wiped her hands off on a dishrag and picked up the receiver. It was Mrs. Johnson.
“Do you think Lewis could come over here?” she asked.
“I thought you guys were going to be in Colorado to visit your family,” Hannah said.
“So did Tommy. I don’t know where he got that idea, but he had his hopes up and he was bummed all day yesterday. I was thinking that if he could play with Lewis it would help cheer him up.”
“That sounds like a good idea, but it would be better if you could bring Tommy over here. We’ve got relatives over, and for some unknown reason Lewis loves his uncle.”
“Who’s on the phone,” Lewis said enthusiastically after hearing his name mentioned.
“Tommy Johnson’s mother.”
“Can Tommy come over? He can see Uncle Luke’s magic tricks!”
“Yes.”
“Can he stay the night?” Lewis asked with even more excitement.
“Just a minute,” Hannah said and then asked into the phone, “Do you think Tommy could stay the night.”
“I don’t know why not,” Mrs. Johnson said.
“Can he? Can he?” Lewis asked impatiently.
“Yes.”
Lewis ran into the living room shouting, “Uncle Luke, Uncle Luke, my friend’s coming over; can you show him your magic tricks.
“We’ll see you in a little while,” Hannah said and hung up the phone.
Debra was still in the kitchen enjoying the events that transpired around her.
“You’re so lucky to have a big family like this,” she said when Hannah joined her.
“It has its down side too,” Hannah said.
“Luke and I are thinking about adopting. Seeing you guys all together makes us wish we’d adopted earlier.”
Hannah tried not to imagine what a child raised by Luke Manchell would end up like, and told Debra, “You know that adopting a child is a big decision. You should really think it over and be certain.”
“We’ve been talking about it, and we’ve almost decided to get a little girl from China. Luke doesn’t want us to mention it to anyone until we’re certain so don’t say anything to Peter.”
“Don’t worry. I won’t. I’ll tell you one of our little secrets. Peter and I aren’t exactly on the best of terms these days and I don’t think we’re going to be together much longer.” Hannah didn’t know why she was confiding in Debra, maybe it was because, with the exception of Abigail, she hadn’t told anyone, maybe because in her subconscious she wanted to ruin her husband’s reputation among what little family he had left, or maybe the words that had been welling up in her heart for so long boiled up to the point of overflowing and couldn’t be held back any longer.
Debra obviously didn’t know how to react to the announcement. After a brief awkward moment she said, “I’m sorry to hear that,” and both women devoted their attention to making dumplings.
Tommy and his mother arrived just in time for supper. Tommy ran inside when he saw Lewis waving him into the living room.
“Do you want to come in and eat with us?” Hannah asked. “We’re having turkey and dumplings.”
“I’d love to but I’ve already eaten,” Mrs. Johnson replied politely and then added, “Thank you so much for letting Tommy come over. I can’t say how much it’s done to lift his spirits.”
“No problem at all,” Hannah said.
When Mrs. Johnson left, Hannah closed the front door and went back to the living room where Lewis and Tommy sat in awe of Uncle Luke, who was cutting a penny in half and putting it back together again.
After dinner the family watched a movie together and then, with the exception of Lewis and Tommy, everyone dispersed to their respective bedrooms.
“Do you want some pancakes?” Lewis asked Tommy. They were the only ones in the kitchen.
“Who’s gonna make them?” Tommy asked.
“We can. I watched my dad do it the other morning. And we can put whatever we want in them.”
Tommy agreed and soon they had concocted a pancake batter that included sugar, cinnamon, chocolate chips, and green food coloring. Tommy had found the food coloring and Lewis felt like it would be the perfect touch.
“I think you’re supposed to get the pan really hot first to get all the water out or something,” Lewis said as he pulled the cast-iron skillet out of the bottom cabinet. He put it on the front burner of the stove and turned the knob to high. The boys watched in amazement as the skillet changed hue.
“Now we have to put butter in it so the pancakes don’t stick,” Lewis said didactically. He scooped out a gob of butter and plopped it down inside the scalding cast-iron. The butter melted almost immediately and then began to smoke.
“Is it supposed to do that?” Tommy asked nervously.
Before Lewis could answer the butter burst into flame.
“Quick, quick, get it off the stove,” Tommy said, being careful not to shout.
Lewis grabbed one of the hot pads that hung over the stove and picked the flaming skillet up and set it down on the counter. In his haste he didn’t realize that it was directly under the roll of paper towels that stuck out from the wall, which caught fire before either boy realized their mistake. They swatted timidly at the flames that shot
out from the roll and succeeded only in knocking it off of the holder where it landed on the toaster.
Lewis desperately wanted to yell, to call his mom and dad to come in and fix the situation, but fear and shame overcame the urge and he watched, frozen and unable to act, as the fire spread from the role of paper towels to the electrical cord of the old toaster and then into wall socket.
“Let’s go,” he said to Tommy, and both boys moved into Lewis’s bedroom as quickly and quietly as they could. They crawled into bed without making a sound so as not to wake up Thomas who was already asleep on the floor. They pulled the covers up over their heads and didn’t say anything, hoping that the fire in the kitchen would burn itself out, or the smoke detector would go off and someone else would extinguish the flames.
* * *
Minutes crawled by while the boys waited in Lewis’s bedroom. The smoke detector in the hallway was the first to go off, because Hannah had never gotten around to replacing the battery that she’d taken out of the unit in the kitchen. Sleepy-eyed members of the family filed out of their rooms and met in the hallway. They viewed the obnoxious beeping of the smoke detector as an annoying interruption to their sleep.
Debra, who was wrapped up in an old quilt, was the first to think that the house might actually be on fire, and suggested that everyone go outside just to be safe. She led the way as groggy bodies meandered out of the house and into the courtyard. Nobody took her seriously. Thomas went back for his wallet, phone and keys, as if he were completing his normal morning routine. Even Peter went back for his phone. In their sleepy stupor nobody thought there was actually a fire, and it took an inordinate amount of time for them to leave the edifice.
Peter was the last one leaving the house and it wasn’t until he actually saw the smoke collecting at the ceiling that anyone realized that the house was in fact on fire. Even then the immediacy of the situation didn’t sink in. He used his phone to call the fire department and report the emergency. He gave the operator all of the pertinent information, and she complimented him on how calm he had remained in the midst of an emergency.
The family gathered together on the front lawn and for the first time saw the flames that were gutting the inside of their home as they danced within the front window. Nobody said anything, not even Luke, especially not Lewis or Tommy. They still couldn’t associate the flames that consumed the frame of the house with the loss of everything they owned. The icy winter wind was more than enough to make sure that everyone standing on the lawn was completely awake. Debra offered Hannah the quilt she’d walked out with, and the façade finally came crashing down as the flames began to take their toll on key structural sections of the house.