“Never thought I’d utter those words until this last year.” Nixon swore. “But I get it.” He stood. “Alright, get some sleep.”
I stood and started making my way to the door then paused and turned. “Nixon?”
“Yeah?”
“Is she happy?”
“Who?”
“Mil.”
Nixon slapped me on the back. “So happy I wear ear plugs at night when we stay next door to them at the hotel.”
“Too many details,” I grumbled.
Laughing, Nixon shrugged. “Hey, you asked.”
“I’m glad.”
“Me too.” His face darkened. “Because if Chase didn’t latch on to someone or something soon I was going to shoot him in the face and bury his body in the lake.”
“You’re joking right?”
Nixon gave me a slight push out the door. “I never threaten someone unless I mean to carry it out. Goodnight, Phoenix.”
The door shut in my face.
I stared at the wood, taking time for his veiled threat to sink in. He’d kill me if I did as much as stare at Trace wrong and the sad part was, I would want him to.
“So, how’d that go?” Chase said from the kitchen holding open a bag of Cheetos and devouring them like he’d been on a cleanse for the past two months.
“Awesome.”
“I hate the office.” Chase shuddered. “Swear he has bodies buried under his chair, one time I asked and he laughed, didn’t deny it, that should tell us something right there.”
“You talk more than I remember.” I eyed the Cheetos and nearly gagged. I hated anything messy. Maybe that was what happens when you die and come back to life, you have these weird quirks you never had before. I used to love junk food, now? I was more of a kale and spinach type of guy and despised anything that was made and not grown. Yeah, I’d gone bat shit crazy. I even hated cake.
“I talk because the sound of my voice makes your sister so damn turned on that she can’t see straight.” He slid a Cheeto between his front teeth and bit down.
“Bastard.” I huffed.
“She called me that last night but I think it was all in good fun.”
I clenched my fists.
“Damn.” Chase shook his head. “So much control now, I’m not sure whether I should give you a high five or ask you what the hell happened.”
“I died that’s what happened you ass.”
“White horse.” Chase snapped his fingers. “Where is it?”
I crossed my arms. “Not telling.”
“Dude, do you even realize how bad she wants it? I’m the dream guy I should find it.”
“Nah.” I went to the fridge and pulled out a bottle of water. “I think I’ll let you suffer for a bit, if you’re really the dream guy you’ll find it without my help.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
Lips that taste of tears, they say are the best for kissing—Unknown
Mo
MY HEART STARTED thumping so fast I half expected Tex to start laughing or crack a joke.
“So we’ve graduated from one to two?” I said as I breathlessly lay across his chest, my back pressed against his stomach.
“Yeah.”
“And then—”
“—I do what I have to do to protect you.”
My heart twisted. “You mean you do what the son of a dead Mafia boss does… you do what a guy with a sister to protect does, right Tex?”
He sighed. “Right.”
“And that leaves us?”
“With goodbye.”
“So this is it then.” My voice cracked. “No matter what I say? No matter what I do?”
“Two hours and then you’ll never have to worry about hearing my voice on the other end of the phone, Mo.”
“What if I want to?” The ceiling fan twirled around in circles ignoring each jab of pain that shot through my chest at Tex’s words.
“I won’t be calling Mo, not after the two hours, not ever. I won’t answer your texts, I won’t be available for you. To do this, we have to separate for good.”
My teeth clenched. “I’m tired of the men in my life telling me what’s best for me.”
“Two hours.” He ran his hands up and down my arms. “Take it or leave it, but I strongly suggest you take it.”
“Because you’re going to blow my mind?”
His warm breath tickled my neck as he leaned up and kissed below my ear. “Yeah, something like that.”
“Two hours,” I repeated and crawled off his battered body and made my way towards the door. When I flipped the lock I knew there was no going back. I would love him as much as my heart was able to love.
And I would give him my heart for safekeeping knowing I would never be able to find someone who loved me as deep and as wide as Tex did. This was it.
Most people don’t get moments like the one he was offering me, usually people don’t realize they had a moment until it’s already gone then they’re left to live off the memories.
I had both.
He was giving me both.
Two hours.
I turned just as Tex leaned up on his elbows, his stormy blue eyes beckoning me like a laser beam. Maybe if he wasn’t so broken, I wouldn’t be so attracted. I’d always been a sucker for wounded animals… so it made sense I’d fall for a guy like Tex, one who never fit in, one who never saw the sheer beauty of the man that he was.
It’s why our love made sense.
I was the girl everyone protected from the ugly.
And he was the ugly.
Beauty and the Beast.
“One thing,” Tex whispered.
I took a step towards him and paused. “What?”
He closed his eyes briefly before opening them and saying in such a clear voice I swear the universe shook around me. “I love you more than life.”
“I—”
“Say it in two hours, use those words as your goodbye, Mo, they’ll mean more to both of us.”
Nodding, I took the next three steps to the bed and stared—drank him in as his eyes greedily scanned my body. “Mo?”
“Yeah?”
“Let me love you.”
My hands shook as I reached out for him. He tugged me back onto the bed, our mouths met in an explosion of emotion. Tex gripped my hair and pulled it free from its rubber band, digging his hands into its depths only to pull again as he tilted my head back and slid his tongue down my neck.
“Open for me,” he whispered as his mouth made its way back to mine, his tongue met mine, tasting like whiskey and warmth. He spent at least ten minutes kissing every corner of my face, memorizing it… saying goodbye, and with each kiss my heart both soared and shattered.
This was my last moment with a man I should have had forever with.
My hands dug into his back as I straddled his lap. With a growl Tex threw the remaining towel across the room and unhooked my bra.
“I could worship you like this.” His tongue flicked my collarbone as his mouth descended. “I could die like this.”
“I will die if you stop.”
“Two hours, Mo.” Tex chuckled warmly against my chest. “Patience.”
“Or we could just set a record? Yeah let’s do that.” I wiggled in his lap.
“Stop.” He braced my hips, exhaling a hiss before his eyes darkened. “You never did take instruction well.”
“I play by my own rules and all that.” I winked.
“Damn, you’re perfect.”
I gasped when he lifted me slightly off his lap, the air hitting my stomach briefly before he slid off my remaining underwear. I expected him to lose control, I expected him to do what Tex always did—pleasure me until I cried with need and then take his own.
But this wasn’t like other times.
It wasn’t like anything I’ve ever experienced.
His callused hands moved across my hip bone, his eyes trained on my skin. Eyelashes fanned across his cheeks as he stared, inhaling and exhaling, bidding his t
ime.
“So beautiful,” he choked, his thumb rubbing across my hip, his fingers digging into my butt as he pulled me closer to him.
I swallowed the emotion in my throat as Tex tilted his head and moved his left hand to the other side of my hip, running his knuckles up and down my rib cage until I moaned.
“So perfect.”
“I’m ready for you,” I gasped. “I need you.”
“Let me, Mo.” Tex’s hands gripped my sides as he lightly lifted me so that I was fully straddling him and he was lying back against the pillows. “Please let me say goodbye to my favorite parts of you.”
“Parts?” I breathed as those wicked hands moved from my hips past my ribs and cupped my breasts. With a moan his head fell back.
Tex groaned. “Yeah Mo, my favorite parts, which basically means every single part of you.”
I shivered as he released my breasts, his mouth descended where his hands had been and with a soft sob he pulled me tight against him. The heat of his body was wreaking havoc on mine. I tried to move against him but he was too strong—so I stayed put, even though I was dying a bit inside.
“Mo.” Tex’s hot mouth cupped my ear. “I’ll never forget what you look like… when I do this.” His hands gripped my butt, jerking me abruptly against his arousal.
My head fell back.
“So beautiful.” He kissed my exposed neck. “I want to stay like this forever.”
“Funny,” I murmured. “Because I want a little more than this.”
“Patience.” He laughed softly.
Yeah, not happening, especially with the way he was kissing my neck, his tongue massaging every soft spot of my skin until my body started shaking. Every kiss brought me to the brink of release, only to be left needing, wanting, desiring, because he would stop, gather himself, and then just stare at me.
“I need you.” I cupped his face. “Now.”
“Not yet.” His thumb caressed my lower lip. “Not until you’re begging—not until your sobbing my name. Then and only then will I fill you until all I feel is Mo Abandonato—until all I breathe, is your essence.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
You will never know true happiness until you have truly loved, and you will never understand what pain really is, until you have lost it—Anonymous
Tex
MO’S BEAUTIFUL BLUE eyes blinked mischievously back at me. I would miss that look, the one that said she wasn’t going to back down from any of my challenges. Her looks were her tell. I could see the love she had for me in her eye—it was why it hurt so badly when she betrayed me, because regardless of her actions and her reasoning—she still loved me.
And I knew it every damn I time I looked at her face.
Loving Mo was my greatest and hardest accomplishment, because loving someone meant that person had the power to use your love against you, and I knew it was only a matter of time before Mo did that. It would be by accident, but it would happen.
It was why we had to say goodbye.
She wouldn’t do it on purpose. Mo didn’t have that type of mind.
But I did.
I was protecting her from me, and protecting her from herself… a clean break was the only way to keep her safe but selfishly it was the only way to keep me sane.
Every text.
Every phone call.
Every picture.
Would haunt me for the rest of my life.
So once I hunted down Alfonso and killed the sorry son of a bitch, I would find my sister and take control of my family.
And the war between the families would continue because I knew one thing Mo didn’t.
The Campisis didn’t just want my blood.
They wanted the Abandonatos.
I wished I could go back and forget the words that Luca and Frank said, but the men knew more than anyone else—bad blood gets people killed and the Campisis, though momentarily leaderless, wanted my head and were more than happy to ask for Nixon’s and Chase’s in the process.
I’d rather die a thousand deaths than put the people who raised me in danger.
“Tex!” Mo wrapped her arms around my neck. “Where’d you go?”
“Right here, sweetheart,” I murmured, brushing a kiss across her lips. “I’ll always be.” I moved my rough hand to her chest and pressed. “Right here.”
Her lower lip trembled. “You promise?”
I nodded. “When the nights are dark… when you’re alone and afraid… when you’re sick at the prospect of dating for the first time, when you’re sad…” I shrugged and rubbed my hand across her chest. “Know that a part of me will always be with you.”
Tears streamed down her face. “It doesn’t have to be like this, Tex.”
I wasn’t a strong enough man to lie to her face, to tell her everything would be okay when I knew it wouldn’t. Hell, I was too weak to tell her I probably wasn’t going to survive The Commission in the first place.
“Come on.” I gently pulled her off my lap. “I want to show you something.”
“Uh.” She looked down. “But aren’t we—I mean two hours and—”
“What? You afraid of a little adventure?”
“No,” she growled. “I just feel—”
I laughed and moved her hands around me, damn her hands felt good. “Yeah, I feel too, but I promise, this will be worth it. Do you trust me?”
Mo released her grip and sighed. “Yes.”
“Excellent.” I grinned and lifted her gently off me. “We’ll have to be really quiet. We’re sneaking out of the house.”
“We’ve done that before.” She pointed out grabbing one of my white t-shirts and a pair of sweat pants.
“True.” I licked my lips and tossed a red t-shirt over my head and pulled up a pair of athletic shorts. I held out my hand. “Everyone should be in their rooms or in the kitchen eating, we’ll sneak out back.” I winked.
She gripped my hand and nodded.
I grabbed a blanket from the bed and limped alongside her until we were outside by our favorite tree.
With a sigh I spread the blanket on the ground and sat down, she followed, the blanket was big enough to wrap both our bodies in.
“So.” Mo exhaled. “You interrupt rocking my world to take me outside under the tree?”
“Yup.”
“Because?”
“Because of that.” I pointed behind me to the little scratch on the trunk that said Tex and Mo forever.
Mo gripped the front of my shirt as her eyes welled with tears. “I forgot about that.”
“I never forget,” I whispered. “Plus I have a scar from trying to do that when I was five.”
Mo chuckled. “We used to come out here after everyone went to bed.”
“And I’d tell you to pick a star.”
“I picked a different one each time.”
“As any smart little girl would.” I grinned at the memory. “A new star means a new wish.”
“My wish was always the same.”
I choked on the emotion clogging my throat, filling my lungs, making me want to scream. “Mine was too.”
“Together forever.” Mo interlocked her fingers with mine. It’s what we’d written under the Mo and Tex forever… I’d just wanted to be by her side when I was little.
“You were my favorite then, Mo. You’re my favorite now.”
Her head pressed against my chest, the wetness of her tears soaking the front of my shirt.
“So tonight…” My voice was hoarse. “I wanted to make the best of what we’re leaving behind—I want to make a new wish on a new star.”
“What’s the new wish?”
I dug my fingers into her hair and kissed her forehead. “My new wish… is this…” I tilted her chin towards me and kissed her lips. “Be happy Mo. It’s all I want in life, your happiness. It’s why I live, why I breathe, why I bleed—for your smile. Don’t let what has to happen turn you into a person I don’t recognize.”
“H-how,” Mo sobbed. “How
can you expect that of me when you’re ripping away my reason for being happy?”
I kissed her salty cheeks. “I didn’t say it would be easy.”
“Which is why we’re using the stars.”
“Right.” I trailed kisses down her neck. “It’s why we need the stars.”
“Tex.” She blinked her clear blue eyes a few times as tears washed down her face and slipped down her chin. “This is my wish.” Her lips trembled. “For you to find peace—in a lifetime full of war.”
“You’re my peace,” I admitted with a grim smile.
“So when you’re in war—think of me.”
Our mouths met in the middle, each of us digging at each other’s clothes, pulling them off and tossing them under the tree. I’d always wanted to make love to her under the stars.
I was getting my final wish.
With a groan I pulled off her sweats and hovered over her. “Say it, Mo.”
“Now!” she cried, her hands fisting over my back, as her legs wrapped around me, rocking her core towards me. “Tex Campisi, I love you…”
I surged into her with a primal cry, knowing, it would be the last time my name would most likely cross her lips.
Slowly I glided in and out, savoring the feeling of her body contracting around me, wishing things were different but vowing that I would protect her until my last breath.
With a cry, her head fell back as her body shook against mine. I wanted to wait, I wanted to wait because finishing meant we would go back inside.
But I couldn’t wait.
Our mouths fused together as I thrust one last time, sending myself over the edge into an explosion that I would remember for the rest of my life.
“Two hours,” Mo said sadly against my lips.
“Yeah,” I panted. “But if I only had two hours to live—I wouldn’t have done anything differently.”
She licked her lips and smiled softly. “Me either.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT
Giving your body to someone—trusting them with it, is a purely selfless act, yet it’s strange how selfish it sometimes feels.
Sergio
THAT WAS GOING to end badly. I looked away from the backyard window and cursed.
“You’re in a good mood.” Phoenix sat down next to me and folded his arms across his chest. “So, what did you need?”