“Trace.”
I held back a groan. There went that plan. “How… kind of her.”
“He’s so hot.”
“You can’t see him.”
Bee looked up from the book. “In my head I totally can.”
Rolling my eyes seemed childish but it was exactly what I wanted to do. “Please don’t describe him. I’m tired and the last thing I want to talk about is fake vampires.”
She sighed. “Your loss, man.”
Man? What? Like we were bros hanging out now?
“Bee.” I licked my lips and tried a different tactic, one that didn’t have me sobbing and begging for her to get out of my room. “I really need to get some sleep.”
She lifted a shoulder. “So sleep.”
“In my bed.”
She scooted over. Her vanilla perfume hit me full force with that simple movement. Clenching my fists, I took a few deep breaths. It didn’t help.
Sweating, I croaked. “Bee, I sleep alone.”
Finally, she put the book on the nightstand and crossed her arms, making her body look that much… better, if that was even possible, in her tiny tank top and shorts. “But when you protected me you stayed with me.”
“To keep you alive.” I clenched my jaw until it popped. “Trust me, you’re safe here.”
Her eyes welled with tears. “Please, Phoenix?”
Tears. I did not work well with tears and she knew it.
Sighing, I reached back and peeled off my shirt then walked over to my dresser, pulling it open to grab a pair of track pants then slamming it shut. Without another word, I dropped my jeans to the floor and put on the pants then turned off the light.
“Thanks.” Bee whispered. “I just—thanks.”
She had no idea that her version of safe was deranged… almost sick. She was lying next to a rapist, next to a murderer, next to an absolute monster and yet, that was how she found peace at night. While, me? I found none. None at all. Not when I heard her finally succumb to sleep, or when her arm reached for my body, or when she curled next to me and sighed.
It was Hell.
And I knew she might sleep like the dead.
But I was a live wire. Staring wide eyed at the ceiling, telling my body it wasn’t responding. Forcing my breathing to even out. And lying to myself once again that I felt nothing for that vanilla scented beauty asleep in my arms.
CHAPTER SIXTY-THREE
Waiting for death—not the best way to spend a sunny day.
Sergio
BY THE TIME WEDNESDAY night rolled around, I was ready to take a gun to Tex—or maybe even Mo. The fighting had gotten worse. How was that even possible? If anything Tex had turned from a cocky disrespectful little shit into a rage-oholic with a serious god complex.
When nobody poured him a cup of coffee he yelled at Mo to fix him something on account of women should serve their men—the bosses.
That earned him a punch to the gut and a threat with a knife. Swear Nixon almost unleashed on him, but we all knew, until Thursday there was nothing we could do, until things played out.
Tex was untouchable.
So I did nothing while he cleaned his guns in front of me then threatened to engrave my name on each bullet just to be sure.
Every time I approached Luca, he told me to leave it. Right, leaving it meant we were all dead, but I’d done everything Luca had asked me to. I’d done right by The Family. In the end, it probably wouldn’t be enough.
Fighting erupted in the kitchen, groaning, I jumped up from my comfortable seat in the living room and made my way towards the yelling.
When I turned the corner I almost walked back to my spot, maybe if I ignored the problem it wouldn’t be a problem?
“You son of a bitch!” Mo held Tex at knife point. “How could you even say that about us? About your family? We practically raised you!”
“Raised me?” Tex roared, his face contorting with rage. “I was your puppet! Nothing more than a pawn in a bigger game! You protected me so you could use me, just like you’re using me tomorrow!”
“Tex.” Nixon looked ready to snap as he took a tentative step forward pushing Mo to the side. “This isn’t you, whoever keeps starting these fights, yelling, attacking Mo. This isn’t the kid I grew up with. You forget, we were raised together.”
“By your sick father.” Tex scowled.
Nixon’s teeth clenched as Chase slowly approached the group. “Actually my sick father, but details.” He waved his hand in the air. “Tex, tomorrow, you end it. Tonight… can’t we just imagine a world where you aren’t pushing us away in order to distract us from the bigger picture?”
“What?” Tex hissed.
Chase and Nixon shared a look.
Damn, things just got interesting. And here I thought Nixon and Chase were just agreeing to Luca’s terms because they had no choice. Leaning against the wall I crossed my arms and waited.
Tex’s chest heaved with exertion as Nixon tilted his head, his eyes calculating. “You’ll always choose Family, Tex. And that’s fine, blood wins out, pretty sure we already had that conversation. But you should know one thing.”
Tex rolled his eyes.
“We’re brothers,” Chase said in a low voice. “Blood does always win, but we’ve shared blood.” He held up his palm. “All four of us.” Phoenix flinched from his spot near the other doorway. “And that means that regardless of the choices you make tomorrow—you aren’t joining the enemy—you’re defeating him, because the minute you take your spot, you’ll finally be home. But that doesn’t mean we aren’t still here, living, breathing, fighting for you.”
Nixon slapped Chase on the back and zeroed in on Tex. “Fight all you want man, but we’ll stick by your side until the end. Even if the end means our deaths. We aren’t stupid. It’s possible you’ll have a choice to make tomorrow and if there’s anything we’ve learned about Phoenix’s situation, an honorable death is a good death.
“Nixon!” Trace half pleaded. While Mil stared at the hardwood beneath her feet, Mo had moved around the kitchen and was standing by the girls.
Tex seemed to be weighing his options as he looked around the kitchen and then a smile curved his lips as his gaze met Nixon’s cold stare. With swift movements he walked until his nose was almost touching Nixon’s. The tension was so thick I wasn’t sure if I should intervene or just let things play out. I glanced at Phoenix out of the corner of my eye, his fists were clenched tightly at his sides, if there was going to be a fight… I’d have to save Tex, damn but that felt wrong. I had to keep him alive, at all costs.
Nixon’s breathing was ragged as his eyes narrowed into tiny slits.
Tex grinned smugly then whispered, “Volpe.”
Not what I was expecting.
Nixon’s eyes went wild as they darted back and forth and then with a cruel smile he reared back and punched Tex in the face.
Tex staggered backwards, blood streaming down his chin. He nodded his head once and sauntered down the hall cursing the Abandonato family the entire way.
I scratched my head in confusion. “Did he just call you a fox?”
Chase met Nixon’s stare, they both turned to look at Phoenix who had gone completely still.
“What the hell am I missing?” I asked calmly.
Nixon sighed and then turned around. “Nothing worth discussing. The Commission is tomorrow, I suggest everyone get some sleep.”
Too confused and tired to even prod further I threw my hands in the air and walked down the hall to my guest room. The minute the door closed I pulled out my cell and texted Luca:
Me: Tomorrow’s the day we find out what Tex is made of… Phoenix too.
Luca: Trust the plan.
Me: That’s the problem, I don’t trust anyone.
Luca: Maybe, it’s time, you start. Have a good night’s sleep, things will work out, they always do.
Scowling, I typed back: Absolute power corrupts, absolutely.
Luca: Absolute power corrupts, ab
solutely, only when we allow it. There is always a choice, Sergio. Never forget that.
Too frustrated to respond I threw my phone against the bed and sunk low into the mattress, my head in my hands. I went through every strategy, every outcome, every plan I’d help Phoenix, Luca, and Frank formulate since the beginning. I’d done the best I could. I’d come out of hiding in order to make sure that the Family was secure, the only issue was, I felt like I had lost my humanity in the process.
I guess that was what happened when you’re a death dealer.
With a grunt I lie back down on the pillow and tried to concentrate on a simpler time, when we were all kids, when war games were something we heard the adults discuss in hushed tones. When battles between families meant nothing to us, when power and greed were abominable.
That time was long gone.
And now, I was tired.
Nothing. I had nothing left.
I tugged out the piece of paper in my pocket and stared at it. My last will and testament. I sealed the paper in the envelope waiting for me on my desk. The most pathetic part was, I had no family to address it to. My own father didn’t want me living, most my uncles were in prison, and I was stuck between wanting to keep the law, and having to break it. I had no name to put on that blank envelope, and it killed me inside that that was most likely my future. Lonely and blank. Never to be remembered. Some legacy.
CHAPTER SIXTY-FOUR
Risk… is always worth it. Or is it?
Tex
I HAD TO HAND it to Mo, she’d done a hell of a job. I only hoped it was enough for the guys. I was stuck between needing them to react tomorrow and also needing them to keep me alive.
It was a tug of war of sorts, treat them like absolute shit but drop the hint that there was a reason behind it.
A very solid, life altering reason.
Phoenix had said to make it real and I knew now, I knew why. I needed every reaction from them to be real, I was already risking too much with Mo knowing, but I hadn’t been able to do it. Lie to her face again and again and again. It didn’t help that I was absolute crap at hiding my feelings from her, each time she kissed me I reacted like she’d just set my body on fire. So it was impossible.
Funny, it had been her idea to drop the volpe hint. Damn, that woman was brilliant. My stomach clenched… now if only there was a way out of that contract with Nicolasi. Mo knew I couldn’t back out, just like she knew I was going to have to hurt her in order to prove to the men I meant business.
A knock sounded at the window. I jumped out of bed and grabbed my gun.
Mo was grinning from the other side of the glass.
When I rolled my eyes, she held up a stuffed fox and pouted, her lower lip sticking out.
My smile grew and grew and grew, finally I opened the window and leaned out. “What up, Romeo you trying to romance me?”
“Yeah but you didn’t have a balcony.”
“So you brought a fox?” I nodded towards the stuffed animal. “A stuffed fox that’s missing an eye?”
“Tragic washing machine accident.”
“Ah.” I took the animal. “I see.”
“Can I come in?” Mo shivered and pulled her leather jacket closer to her body.
I stepped back and licked my lips. “They say keep your friends close and your enemies closer, so yeah, hop on in.” I backed away more so she could pull herself up and into my room. She landed with a thud, turned and closed the window, followed by the blinds.
“Planning on killing me or something?” I pointed to the blinds and tossed the fox onto the bed. My bones ached, my heart ached. Every damn thing ached when I thought about it. There was no way I was going to get any sleep.
“Tex?” Mo whispered, her fingers grasped mine lightly. I led her to the bed and sat, patting the spot next to me.
“Yeah?”
“I have an idea.”
I glanced sideways and frowned. “Okay.”
“Shoot me.”
My face froze in shock. “You want me to… shoot you?”
“Yeah.” She nodded, her eyebrows pinching together like she was thinking too hard. “You have to make an example, right?”
I wasn’t comfortable with where this was going. “Mo, I can make an example without shooting you.”
“Well you don’t have to kill me!” Her words rushed out. “Just hurt me a little, I mean you were planning on slapping me, which is fine and all.”
I groaned, officially the worst conversation in the world.
“But—” She licked her lips. “—I just think, it would make a bigger impact if you shot me, make it a shoulder shot, or even in the leg, I mean it didn’t hurt that bad, and it’s not like I died, right?”
My eyes closed tightly until they burned. “Mo, you’re asking me to shoot you.”
“I’m your enemy.”
“Until the end,” I whispered.
“Right.” She gripped my hand. “Just… think about it, but don’t tell me if you’re going to do it, just do it… I don’t want to know it’s coming. My reaction has to be real, but Tex, you can’t take on five heads, you can’t take on that many men and survive, I think you should tell Nixon and Chase.”
“Can’t,” I said hoarsely. “If anything gets back to them… it’s their heads that roll. I can’t handle that, Mo. It’s bad enough that Phoenix, Luca, Frank, and even Sergio will be in trouble if it gets out. The plan was to keep The Abandonato family clean. The one family powerful enough to keep everything together if things get… bad.”
Mo swallowed. “You should shoot Nixon too.”
I groaned. “Are you insane?”
“Think about it!” She hit me in the shoulder. “You can huff and puff all you want, but in the end, if you don’t harm the powerful ones closest to you—all you are is a murderer. A boss who cleansed out the bad, but nobody will fear you. They may take you seriously but you have to actually hurt people.”
“That was the original plan.” I exhaled. “But I told Phoenix I couldn’t do it.”
“I never thought I’d utter these words.” Mo sighed heavily. “But Phoenix is right.”
“Damn him.” I fell back against the bed and sighed. Mo followed, resting her hand on my chest.
We laid there in silence for a few minutes before she moved closer and kissed my neck. “Try to live.”
Her voice was shaky with emotion. I tried to ignore the pang in my heart but it was impossible.
“Mo.” I swallowed a few times, my throat clogging with tears, “If I had a choice—”
“I know—”
“No!” I pulled away abruptly. “You don’t.”
“Tex, it’s okay you don’t have to do this.” Her eyes blinked rapidly like she was holding back tears. “We already said goodbye, remember?”
“If I didn’t have a sister.” I whispered.
Mo leaned her head against mine. “If you weren’t son to a dead Cappo di Cappo.”
“If his legacy wasn’t still alive.” My voice trailed.
“If you didn’t need the help of the Nicolasi family.”
I cursed then crushed my mouth against hers. She moaned as I flipped her on her back and deepened the kiss.
“Mo.” I pulled back and gripped her hand placing it on my chest. “Know this… my heart will always beat for you and you alone, my friend, my lover, my enemy, my soul.”
Tears dripped down her face as she nodded and tugged my head to hers, her mouth meeting mine in a frenzy. “I’m proud of you.”
“Don’t be.”
“Can’t help it.” She sighed, her lips lingering across mine, brushing feather light kisses across my skin.
We kissed for a while, not talking, memorizing, saying goodbye for the second time in two weeks. I glanced up at the clock and it was nearing midnight.
“Mo—”
“You don’t have to say it.” She moved from underneath me and stood to her feet. “Keep the fox.”
I chuckled. “A one eyed fox for good l
uck? What could go wrong?”
“Don’t be an ass,” Mo taunted. “He protected me from monsters, maybe he’ll protect you from yours.”
“Mo.” I shook my head. “Tomorrow I become that monster.”
“No.” She licked her lips and pressed a kiss to my cheek. “Tomorrow, you become our savior.”
CHAPTER SIXTY-FIVE
Sleeping is for the dead.
Phoenix
I SLEPT LIKE CRAP.
So many lives hung in the balance, mine included, but I didn’t really value my own life, especially when measured against theirs.
In an hour we would leave for The Commission. My stomach was in knots. I closed my eyes and brushed my fingers across the tree where the guys and I had etched in our names… the names of the Elect. The place where we swore we wouldn’t become our fathers.
Damn, but I’d become him without even knowing it.
I felt for Tex, I really did, because I knew better than anyone else what it was like to have ugliness as a legacy. I understood it because I lived with it every damn day, no escape, nothing.
The wind picked up causing a chill to reverberate through the air as the cool air bit through my jacket.
“Crazy,” Nixon said suddenly from behind me.
I didn’t turn around. “What is?”
Chase answered from my left as Nixon stood to my right. “It doesn’t even seem real that we were kids.”
I shook my head. “Childhood? Did we even get one?”
“No.” A fourth voice answered. Tex. “Pretty sure we skipped that part.”
“I would have loved to have had a fort.” Chase stuffed his hands in his pockets.
“At least a treehouse.” Nixon added.
“Or a bad ass lawnmower to ride.” Tex chuckled.
We fell silent, nothing but the wind whistling through the trees and the tension dripping off every one of us.
“How deep does blood go?” Tex asked breaking the silence.
“To the death.” I croaked. “Until the last breath leaves my body.”
Chase lifted his palm to the inscriptions on the tree and pressed his hand firmly against it. “Sangue in assenza.” Blood in no out.