Maggie was coming up from the basement when she heard footsteps on the stairwell, so she hurried into the kitchen and rushed to the sink to fake-drink a glass of water.
‘Mom?’ Anna said, entering the kitchen holding a packet of papers.
‘Hey honey, how are you feeling?’ Maggie gave her a big hug, freer to be real since Caleb wasn’t around.
‘I feel better, now.’ Anna hugged her back, then thrust some papers at Maggie, who assumed they were homework until she read the top: PETITION FOR PROTECTION FROM ABUSE
‘Wait, what is this?’
‘It’s called a PFA. I’m going to file it on Monday against Noah, but I need you to sign it because I’m under eighteen.’
‘What are you talking about?’ Maggie read the allegations on the form, her stomach turning.
‘I can’t take it anymore, I told you. I won’t live in the same house with him.’
‘Anna, you don’t have to do this,’ Maggie rushed to say, anguished and torn. ‘I’ve already decided what we’re going to do. I haven’t had a chance to talk to you about it yet. I’m going to tell him to see a therapist. He won’t be allowed back until we all –’
‘No, I won’t ever live with him. I need a Protection From Abuse Order. I learned about it online and I called the hotline, so I know what to do next.’
‘Anna, this is what people do when they’re abused by their husbands.’
‘Or by their parents. Their stepfather.’
‘Anna, really?’ Maggie struggled to think clearly. ‘Don’t you need a lawyer?’
‘No. The woman on the phone said I could just file it on an emergency basis, first thing Monday morning. I already emailed and called the judge’s chambers. I’m trying to get a hearing. I’m going to tell the judge that Noah sexually assaulted me.’ Anna met Maggie’s eye directly. ‘I’m not going to take this, not one more minute. If I wanted to, I could call the police on him, but I’m only doing the PFA.’
‘But honey, I’m handling this.’ Maggie collected her thoughts. ‘He’s not going to come home until we know that you can be safe. I mean, we can deal with this ourselves.’
‘I don’t want to. What he did was wrong.’
‘Anna, what’s the rush?’ Maggie shuddered, thinking of Noah being arrested. ‘Why can’t you give us a chance to settle this as a family?’
‘Look, I know you love Noah. That’s the problem, right?’ Anna flopped onto a stool at the kitchen island, still one of three. Maggie hadn’t even had a chance to order an extra one.
‘Right. Yes, I do. He’s my husband. Obviously, my emotions are conflicted right now.’
‘But you believe me, don’t you?’ Anna blinked, her blue eyes widening, and they reminded Maggie so much of her own mother’s eyes, in the frank way in which they looked back at her, in the way that eyes could be a clear view of someone’s soul, like a pair of binoculars focused inward on the human heart.
‘Yes, I believe you,’ Maggie answered, and Anna’s expression warmed, her gaze softening, and her mouth curving into a weary smile. She raised her arms and gave Maggie a hug.
‘Thank you so much.’
‘I’m so sorry about all this.’ Maggie released Anna from the embrace.
‘I’m sorry, too. I keep thinking, maybe I did something wrong, or wore something, to give him the wrong idea.’
‘Of course you didn’t, honey. You’re the victim.’ Maggie felt heartbroken to think that Anna was blaming herself.
‘Then why would he do it? Has he done something like this before?’
‘No, I would never have thought in a million years that he would try anything inappropriate with you. If I thought that, I wouldn’t have brought you home. In fact, if I thought that, I wouldn’t have married him in the first place.’
‘That’s what I thought.’ Anna smiled, reassured.
‘I don’t know why he did it either. I can’t give you any answers.’
‘So why don’t you want me to go to court?’
Maggie hesitated. ‘Because I think we can handle it as a family, the way I said.’
‘No.’ Anna shook her head, her lips setting firmly. ‘The lady on the phone said that’s what the moms always say.’
‘Who’s this lady? What’s her name?’
‘I didn’t ask her. She said the moms never want to go to court because they’re in denial.’
‘I’m not in denial,’ Maggie said, though she wondered if she was, partly.
‘And she said abusers don’t take it seriously unless you get a PFA, so that’s what I want to do.’
‘Anna, I really think that’s taking it too far –’
‘You do?’ Anna’s eyes flew open, pained. ‘You know what I think is taking it too far? When your stepfather sticks his tongue down your throat. Or puts his hand up your dress.’
Maggie recoiled, disgusted. ‘I know, I’m sorry.’
‘I think that’s really why he wanted to take me driving, so we could be alone together, without you.’
‘That can’t be, it was my idea and –’
‘Mom, I don’t want to make you feel worse.’ Anna sighed, frowning. ‘You don’t have to sign the PFA papers. I’ll call James. He’ll know somebody here who will help me.’
‘That’s not necessary –’
‘Yes, it is. Either Noah moves out or I do. If you don’t want to sign the papers, then I’ll get myself declared emancipated and move out.’ Anna straightened, determined. ‘Either way, I’m going to file for a PFA. I want to stand up for myself. I want to send a very clear message to him that what he did was wrong.’
‘He knows that, Anna.’
‘Mom, here’s the thing.’ Anna touched Maggie’s arm. ‘My whole life, I had nobody. It was just me, on my own. Dad left. You left. It was me, on my own. I can take care of myself.’
‘But you don’t have to do that anymore. You have me.’
‘Do I? Noah is your husband. You just told me you love him.’
‘But I can protect you –’
‘You didn’t before,’ Anna shot back.
‘I didn’t know, how could I know?’ Maggie heard herself sounding like those mothers on television, the ones she used to judge. She felt unfit, unfit, unfit.
‘If you care, then go to court with me. Back me up. Sign the papers.’ Anna picked up a pen off of the kitchen island and held it out to Maggie.
‘Anna –’
‘Please, Mom?’
Maggie eyed the pen in Anna’s outstretched hand, feeling a stab of anguish. She had to choose between Anna and Noah, right this minute. She felt bewildered that it had come to this so quickly. She didn’t know what to do. She felt ripped down the middle in a familial tug-of-war. If Anna got a PFA against Noah, there would be no going back for her marriage.
Maggie slid the pen from Anna’s hand.
Chapter Fifty-nine
Noah, After
TRIAL, DAY 1
Noah sat stiffly at counsel table while Linda gave her opening argument, saying buzzwords like heinous murder, innocent young woman, and abundance of evidence, and Thomas countered in his opening argument, firing back buzzwords like rush to judgment, presumption of innocence, and reasonable doubt. They reminded Noah of the target words he used to practice with Caleb, accident, bandage, emergency, but those days were over.
Noah controlled his emotions, trying to wrap his head around the fact that he was standing trial for a murder he hadn’t committed. The truth was he hadn’t killed Anna, but that didn’t seem to matter anymore. He had learned that the only thing that mattered in the American legal system was what you could prove, and the Commonwealth had tons of proof against him, ironically, even though he hadn’t done it. He hadn’t sent the text to Anna that night, he hadn’t molested her in the car or the bathroom, and his fibers, hair, and DNA had gotten on her body when he’d tried to save her life.
Linda stood before the dais. ‘Your Honor, the Commonwealth calls its first witness, Officer David Simon.’
&nb
sp; ‘Please proceed.’ Judge Gardner nodded, and Noah watched as a tall, lanky, uniformed police officer was sworn in. VFW Guy looked at the cop with admiration, but an African-American accountant in the back row lifted an eyebrow.
Linda moved to the front of the stand. ‘Please state your name for the record.’
‘Officer David Simon.’
‘And your occupation?’
‘I’m a patrolman with the Montgomery County Police Department.’
‘And were you called to the crime scene on the night in question, Wednesday, May 10?’
‘Yes.’
‘And what did you do upon your arrival?’
‘We exited our vehicle and were met by the defendant.’
Linda took Officer Simon through her direct examination, asking him about what had happened when he’d met Noah at the carriage house, an account that Noah didn’t need to be reminded of. He had cycled over and over it in prison, mentally retracing his steps, wondering what he had done wrong or could’ve done differently, rewinding everything back to the night of the murder.
That night, Noah had driven home to his carriage house, which he’d rented on the fly. It was a tenant cottage behind the main house, where his landlord lived, and Noah thought it would be nicer for Caleb to visit him or move in, if it went that far. Noah had gotten home and pulled into the driveway, surprised to see Anna’s Range Rover.
Noah had gotten out of his car, mentally preparing to see Anna. He’d wanted to confront her for her lies about him. He’d wanted to know why she’d been so hell-bent on ruining him, breaking up his family, destroying his life. He had to know why. Noah had walked the path to the porch, but it was too dark to see anything. His eyes hadn’t adjusted to the darkness until he was almost standing on top of Anna, who was lying faceup on his porch floor, her arms flung wide.
Noah hadn’t understood, his brain refusing to accept the obvious. He’d thought she had fallen asleep. He hadn’t known why she was even here. He hadn’t known how she’d even gotten the address, maybe from Maggie. None of it had made sense.
Anna, what are you doing?
He’d knelt over her, reaching reflexively in his back pocket for his phone. He’d slid it out, switched on the flashlight, and shined it in her face. Her eyes had been bulging, the sclera red with blood. Petechiae had dotted her eyelids and underneath her eyes, vivid against the pallor of her skin, blanched in death. Horrified, he’d pressed two fingers under her chin, which was still warm. There had been no pulse.
Noah had gone into action, administering chest compressions and fumbling to dial 911 at the same time. A female dispatcher had picked up, and Noah had thought of the 911 tapes they played on the TV news, which Maggie always hated. That had been the moment he’d realized that the police were going to think he had killed Anna.
Noah had to admit, he’d been thinking of himself. That’s why he felt so guilty now. Even though he hadn’t committed the murder, he hardly felt innocent. Anna had been his first thought, but his second thought had been they are going to arrest me for this murder. He never would’ve thought that before the PFA hearing. Before then, he’d thought that law led to justice and good guys never got convicted. But he’d learned quite the opposite that day, because the judge was going to issue that PFA against him if they hadn’t settled it. And he would have been found to have sexually abused Anna, which he hadn’t done, either.
Noah had kept up the compressions, all the time looking around, paranoid, on alert, wondering who could’ve killed Anna, why, or if they were still around. Where they could’ve come from, and how. The lights had been on in his landlord’s house and in the house to the back, but it was another five hundred yards to the back neighbor’s privacy fence. Noah hadn’t seen anyone else, and there had been no other cars in the driveway, so somebody must’ve come on foot or gotten dropped off in a car.
Noah had kept the compressions going and tried to talk to the dispatcher, but all he could think of was they are going to arrest me for this murder. He had rushed the 911 operator off the phone and called Thomas, telling him everything that happened. Noah hadn’t been sure that even Thomas had believed him. They both had known the police were on the way and that Noah would be taken in for questioning. Thomas had told him what to do, but Noah started thinking about Maggie. Anna was dead, and it would kill Maggie. All she’d ever wanted was Anna, and now Anna had been murdered. Strangled. On his front porch. What would Maggie think? Would Maggie believe he hadn’t done it?
The police had arrived, Officers Simon and Pettigrew, and Noah had told them what Thomas had advised him to say, I came home, I found her here, and that’s all I know. And then after that, I’m not going to answer any further questions on the advice of counsel.
But all along, Noah had wished he could say the only thing that mattered to him. But he couldn’t.
I didn’t do it.
Chapter Sixty
Maggie, Before
Maggie hadn’t known it was possible to feel numb for hours, but it was. She felt numb all day Sunday, refusing to acknowledge to herself that she’d signed Anna’s PFA form, that Noah had molested Anna, or that she was going to be in court for a PFA hearing, caught in the middle between her husband and her daughter. Maggie went through the motions of her day, doing laundry, serving dinner, spraying countertops, and helping Caleb with his homework, then saying good night to Anna, who told her that she hadn’t heard about the hearing yet.
Maggie couldn’t bring herself to say, ‘Fingers crossed!’
By the next morning, Anna had gotten a lawyer, who called the law clerk of the emergency judge and got them a hearing, which found Maggie in a courtroom, unable to look at Noah sitting at counsel table, his face front. She continued to feel numb throughout Anna’s testimony, as awful as it was hearing what had happened. She listened as Noah testified, but even afterwards, she wasn’t sure who was telling the truth.
Afterwards, Anna’s lawyer had said that he believed the judge was going to issue a PFA Order against Noah, and Maggie had come to life. She couldn’t let it happen to Noah, but more importantly, she couldn’t let it happen to Caleb. The guilt, and the bullying, would have killed the boy. Maggie had persuaded Anna and her lawyer to let her broker a settlement, which Noah and his lawyer had accepted, then they’d all gone home. Separately.
Maggie didn’t go to work on Monday and she told them she was taking another week off, assuming that Noah would keep his mouth shut about the PFA hearing. She felt so lost, knocking around the empty house, taking Caleb to his speech pathologist, and trying to figure out how to tell him that Noah wasn’t at a medical conference, but was never coming home. She’d have to call a family lawyer and see if she had any rights to Caleb, whom she’d always intended to adopt, but hadn’t just yet. On Tuesday morning, Maggie walked with Kathy, but their Talk & Talk didn’t help the way it usually did. Kathy nagged her to call a therapist, but Maggie couldn’t make herself do it yet.
On Wednesday after dinner, Anna said she was going over to Samantha’s, driving the Range Rover alone for the first time. Maggie didn’t love the idea, but let her go and sat by herself in the family room with a novel open on her lap and the TV playing a Bravo Housewives reality show. Later, Maggie heard a car out front, assuming Anna was home in the Range Rover. She looked out the window, only to see a police cruiser parking in front of her house.
Maggie rose, alarmed. Anna was in an accident, she must have been in an accident, oh my God no, please no. She hurried to the front door, telling herself she was overreacting until she saw two policemen walking to her door. She knew from TV and movies that there was only one reason that police came to see you like that, but she couldn’t even hold that thought in her brain for very long, defaulting to a thousand possibilities. They must have the wrong house. They just want to tell me something. They’re collecting for that circus they do every year. They’re interviewing the neighbors. Maybe there’s a burglar in the neighborhood. It could be anything. Anna wasn’t in an accident. Th
ey could have the wrong house. It’s just some giant colossal mistake.
Maggie flung open the door. ‘Yes, hello, Officers.’
The policemen took off their caps, tucking them in the crooks of their arms. ‘Are you Mrs Ippoliti?’ asked the one officer, his voice gentle.
‘Yes, yes –’
‘We found your address on a temporary registration in a Range Rover, which is registered to one Anna Desroches. Do you know –’
‘Yes, that’s my daughter, is she okay?’ Maggie felt her throat constrict, she could barely get the words out. ‘She wasn’t in an accident, was she? Please tell me she’s okay. It’s a new car, and she hadn’t practiced –’
‘May we come in?’
Maggie gasped, this is really happening, and tears of fright sprang to her eyes. Somehow the police came in, and she sank onto the couch and the police asked if they could get her some water, but she shook her head no and tears spilled from her eyes before they could even tell her anything, and all she could keep saying, over and over, was I never should have let her buy the car, I never should have let her buy the car.
The police officers told her the unthinkable, that Anna had been murdered, that her body had been found at Noah’s, and that Noah had been taken in for questioning in the crime.
‘No, no, no!’ Maggie shouted, her thoughts flying. They were lying. Anna wasn’t dead. Noah didn’t kill her. There were so many lies in her life. This was the worst lie of all. It wasn’t true, it was a horrible, horrible lie. Her husband could never kill her own daughter. It wasn’t possible. How dare they.
Suddenly Maggie jumped up, seized the startled police officer by his arms, and started shaking him back and forth, a woman unhinged, desperate, out of her mind. His cap fell out from under his arm, and the other police officer intervened, trying to soothe and contain her, but Maggie flailed back, lashing out with her fists, but when they finally held her still, doubled over in tears, she emitted a scream she never heard coming from herself or any human, one so primal that Caleb had come racing downstairs wild-eyed.