‘For real?’ Anna’s smile broadened. ‘I think it would work, I can tell from your letters and from Facebook.’
‘It would be great!’ Maggie bubbled over with excitement. ‘We have a lovely house, and the high school is only twenty minutes away, it’s terrific!’
‘I know, Lower Merion. I researched it online.’
‘Please come live with us!’ Maggie laughed, giddy. ‘I know you’ll be happy. You’re young, and this should be the happiest time of your life.’
‘What about your husband? Would he be okay with it?’
‘Of course! No doubt! He’d love to have you at our house! He always wanted me to reconnect with you!’
‘Okay, great!’ Anna beamed, her blue eyes glistening. ‘Thank you so much!’
‘Are you kidding? Thank you so much!’ Maggie felt her own eyes brimming again. She was getting the second chance she’d hoped for, prayed for, dreamed of.
‘Could we leave tomorrow, if James and Ellen say it’s okay?’
‘You’re damn right we can!’ Maggie jumped up, joyful. She threw open her arms. ‘And now you’re getting a big Italian hug!’
Chapter Eleven
Noah, After
TRIAL, DAY 6
Noah hadn’t realized that there were times in a murder trial when nothing was happening, even though everyone remained in the courtroom in a state of suspended animation. Thomas and Linda were conferring with Judge Gardner, and Noah sat at counsel table, his thoughts cycling over the past. He was haunted by what-ifs, and the one that haunted him the most was the first. What if he’d told Maggie no, when she’d called that night from Congreve?
Noah, I just had dinner with Anna and it was wonderful! She’s adorable and great!
That’s great, babe! I knew it would go well. Noah had been in the car, heading home from the gym. He’d gotten their sitter to take Caleb to the speech pathologist and he’d be home in time to make dinner or, more likely, order pizza.
And Noah, guess what, I asked her to come live with us and she said yes!
Wow! Really? That’s amazing! Noah had braked, stuck at the traffic light on Lancaster Avenue behind a string of cars, a TGIF crowd if he ever saw one.
I know I’m springing this on you, but it got sprung on me.
No, it’s okay, it’s great!
She’s just really unhappy at Congreve and she’s been seeing a shrink, and she seems depressed to me. She’s grieving for her dad, who told her that I beat her and that’s why I lost custody!
What? That’s terrible! Noah had felt shocked. The light had turned green, and he’d hit the gas, snaking along.
I know! I need you to scan and email me my court papers, you know the ones? They’re in the file drawer.
Sure, I’ll be home in five minutes. Why do you want the court papers?
I have to prove that I didn’t abuse her, can you believe that? I’m going to meet with her therapist and her lawyer tonight. She’s inside the restaurant, contacting them. She gave me their email addresses, and I’ll email them the papers. If I can convince them I’m not an abuser, I can take her home tomorrow.
Tomorrow? Noah had asked, surprised.
Yes, and I know you think this is happening fast, but sometimes you have to move quickly.
I think it’s a great idea, babe. I’m psyched. Noah had read between the lines. Maggie always said he was too cerebral and deliberate, and he thought she was too emotional and impulsive. This time, he understood. She’d always wanted to get Anna back. It hung over her head.
This is going to be so great, honey! We’ll be a family. You’ll love her. Caleb will, too. She’s just the kind of girl he likes.
You mean pretty? Noah had laughed.
Exactly! Maggie had laughed, too. But I don’t know where to put her. We only have your office and the train room.
I’m on it, don’t worry. You sound so happy, honey. Bring her home. We’ll make it work.
I just know it will be great, honey!
We’re a family of four. Presto!
Okay, I gotta go. See you tomorrow!
Love you! Noah had said, but Maggie had already hung up.
Chapter Twelve
Maggie, Before
Night had fallen, and Maggie and Anna walked to Parker Hall on the elegant Congreve campus. Every building was of colonial vintage, perfectly restored, and Anna pointed out a dining hall that looked like Hogwarts and the First Meeting House, a white-clapboard chapel with a pristine spire. The trees and shrubs were perfectly maintained, and the footpaths were lit by authentic gas lights. Schoolgirls passed them in noisy groups, carrying totebags, covered coffee cups, and phones.
Anna waved to one group, and they waved back. A trio of long-haired girls in navy-blue blazers hurried past, flashing automatic smiles, but Anna didn’t wave to them, nor did they acknowledge her.
‘Who were they?’ Maggie said, when they’d passed.
‘Mean girls on parade.’
‘What’s with the blazer?’
‘The Senior Blazer. They never take it off. We get it, ladies.’
Maggie smiled, and they reached Parker Hall, an imposing colonial mansion with a brick façade, tall white columns, and windows with bubbled-glass panes and thick muntins.
‘Home sweet home,’ Anna said, with a smile that Maggie could tell was forced. ‘I’d take you inside, but they don’t know you, okay?’
‘Absolutely, and I don’t want to keep Ellen waiting.’
‘Okay. Her office is in the Graham Center, at the end of the path. You’ll see the sign. Just go that way.’ Anna pointed down to the left, down a path through the campus.
‘I got it.’
‘Want me to walk you?’
‘No, I’m fine. You go inside and pack.’
‘The walkway ends in the Graham Center, which is the counseling services. Everybody calls it Graham Crackup.’
‘Not exactly enlightened. I always thought the crazy people were the ones who never went to therapy.’
‘Agree!’ Anna laughed. ‘Bye now.’
‘See you later.’ Maggie waved as Anna turned away and headed up the brick path to the dorm.
Fifteen minutes later, Maggie was sitting in the Graham Center’s beautifully appointed reception area, which was empty. There was a cushy navy-blue rug on the floor, patterned club chairs around a cherrywood coffee table, and walls covered with black-and-white photographs of Congreve dating as far back as 1810.
‘Maggie Ippoliti?’ said a voice behind her, and Maggie turned to see a trim woman who was maybe sixty-five or so, with plastic rimless glasses perched on a fine nose, sterling silver hair cut fashionably to her chin, and a gray-wool pantsuit, worn with graduated pearls and black flats.
‘Yes, thank you for seeing me on such short notice.’
‘You’re welcome.’ Ellen smiled warmly, then gestured at the chair and sat down, crossing her legs. ‘Please sit down. We can chat here, since we’re alone.’
‘Great.’ Maggie sat back down. ‘First things first. Anna told me that her father told her that I abused her, and that’s not true. Nothing like that is true. In fact, I lost physical custody when she was a baby because I had postpartum psychosis. Did you get the papers I emailed you? They explain why I lost physical custody.’
‘Yes, I reviewed them.’
‘There were no allegations of physical abuse, you saw that.’
‘Yes.’ Ellen nodded. ‘I have a good handle on the situation now. I’m familiar with postpartum depression and psychosis, which are more common than most people realize.’
‘Yes, they are. I hate that Anna thought that of me, all these years. Or that you did.’
‘Not to worry.’ Ellen pursed her lips, which were thin. ‘I will say, I often suspected that Anna was not being told the truth. I think Anna had her doubts about its veracity, as well.’
‘Thank God,’ Maggie said, relieved.
‘It didn’t stand to reason, for me. I’ve counseled victims of child abuse, and A
nna shows none of the signs. In addition, I’ve seen custody battles across oceans, so I know the mud that gets slung around. Families tell lies for a variety of reasons, and I don’t think it’s for us to speculate about your ex-husband’s reasons for so doing.’
‘I agree.’ Maggie eased into the chair. She felt better, now that Ellen believed her. ‘I appreciate your seeing me.’
‘I do it all the time with the student’s permission.’
‘How long have you been seeing Anna?’
‘I’ve been working with her since she arrived. Anna has been unhappy at Congreve for some time, and since her father died, she’s been wanting to make a change. I assume she told you that.’
‘Yes.’
‘She has a remarkable degree of insight. I think that her father’s death, unfortunately, was the impetus she needed.’
‘I’m so excited that she wants to come live with me. What do you think about the idea?’
‘I think it’s a fine idea, now that the allegations about you have been resolved in my mind. Anna is on the reserved side, and though she has so many talents, her self-esteem has suffered here. She’s made very few friends.’
‘She told me that.’
‘We try to foster a sense of community and we follow an anti-bullying curriculum. That works when the girls are younger, but as they get older, it’s hard to force them to include others.’ Ellen sighed. ‘I saw Anna twice a week during the difficult times. We have scaled down to once a week, on Mondays. I think she’ll need to adjust to the move and I can refer you to some excellent child and adolescent therapists in the Philadelphia area.’
‘Thanks.’ Maggie paused. ‘Is there anything you think I should know about Anna? Ways that I can help her?’
‘It gladdens my heart to hear you say that.’ Ellen smiled with approval. ‘Anna has been on her own for some time. She’s compliant, a people-pleaser, perhaps too much so. She is a high achiever and functions well within the rules, but she tends to get lost in the shuffle. You’re thinking about a public high school for her?’
‘Yes. She wants to give it a try.’
‘Good, that’s what she told me too. I think it’s her attempt to live a normal, teenage life. She didn’t see her father more than once a year, and she’s here during holidays when most of the boarders are away.’
‘Oh no.’ Maggie felt a stab of guilt, like her heart hurt. She remembered so many Christmases and birthdays when she’d thought of Anna, wishing she were home, with her. It could have been so different. All that lost time.
‘You may be wondering if there is a diagnosis for her, but I don’t pigeonhole my patients. Not everybody fits into the categories in the DSM. More often, they fit into several. That said, I do think she has a tendency toward mild depression. However, it’s a reasonable reaction to her situation. She has no family to rely upon and she’s profoundly lonely.’
‘That’s so sad.’ Maggie’s chest tightened.
‘Isn’t it?’ Ellen’s lined face softened. ‘It may sound like a cliché, but there is such a thing as a poor little rich girl. That girl is Anna.’
Maggie felt tears brimming in her eyes. Hearing it from a professional made her feel even worse.
‘Please, take a tissue, right in front of you.’ Ellen gestured at a Kleenex box on the coffee table.
‘Thanks,’ Maggie said, thickly. She tugged a tissue from the box, wiped her eyes, then blew her nose before the snotslide. ‘Sorry.’
‘Not at all.’
‘I know I can change things for her.’ Maggie spoke from the heart, wiping her eyes again. ‘I know I can do better than before.’
‘I believe you can, but be patient with her during the transition.’
‘I will, of course. I’ll do anything she needs.’ Maggie gave a final sniffle, holding on to the Kleenex.
‘If you don’t mind, tell me about your home life and your marriage, if you would.’
‘I remarried two years ago, very happily, and I have a stepson, Caleb, who’s adorable.’ Maggie felt her chest ease, on a happier subject. ‘My husband, Noah, is a pediatric allergist, and I work in his group’s office doing billing part-time, which enables me to take Caleb to his speech pathologist in the afternoons. He has childhood apraxia of speech.’
‘I’m familiar with it. CAS.’ Ellen nodded. ‘So you feel Anna could fit in well with your family?’
‘Yes, truly. My husband is as excited as I am. And Caleb will love her. He can be shy around new people, but she seems quiet and non-judgmental.’
‘She is.’ Ellen smiled. ‘Anna told me she’s been following you on Facebook. She may have a tendency to idealize your family life, in the way we believe in the beautiful images we post for each other. Social media has made counseling adolescents and children much more difficult. They believe wholesale in what others post about their lives, their boyfriends, their parents, and the like.’
‘Oh, I’m sure. Every time I feel good about myself, if I go on Facebook I feel instantly inferior.’
Ellen chuckled. ‘Yes, that’s exactly what I’m talking about, and you’re an adult, your personality fully formed. But imagine if it isn’t yet, and that’s doubly true for girls, who get the societal message that physical appearance is paramount. I helped write the school policy regarding posting, which is admittedly strict. Congreve privileges face-to-face interactions over virtual ones.’
‘Sounds like we’re on the same page.’
‘But, to return to the point, you should note that Anna is mourning her father, as well as the loss of the fantasy of her father. And she’s conflicted and angry because it doesn’t square with what she has, or had.’
‘I understand.’
‘She held out hope that someday he would realize that she was wonderful and be a true father to her.’ Ellen paused. ‘I never saw that happening. I reached out to him several times, and he never responded.’
Maggie felt even more angry at Florian, if that were possible. If he hadn’t been dead already, she would have killed him.
‘So her mourning and her grief are complicated.’
Maggie remembered Anna telling her that at dinner. ‘Do you worry that she’s suicidal? Because that concerns me.’
‘No, I don’t. She has never had suicidal ideation.’
‘That’s a relief.’
‘Anna does have abandonment issues. She felt abandoned by you, her father, and her grandparents.’ Ellen frowned. ‘My work with her has been to help her not blame herself. It’s deleterious for her self-esteem.’
‘I feel terrible for her. It’s just so sad. How can I help her?’
‘I think it’s important for you and your husband to demonstrate that you are there for her. She will expect you to leave her, let her down, or disappoint her.’
‘I would never do that.’
‘You can earn her trust and love bit by bit, day by day. I’m optimistic.’
‘Me too.’ Maggie knew she could turn it around. She owed it to Anna. She would make it her mission.
‘So.’ Ellen checked her watch, then rose. ‘I’m afraid I’m late. Feel free to call me anytime. I told Anna the same thing.’
‘Don’t you want to say good-bye to her?’ Maggie stood up and got her purse. ‘We can swing by tomorrow morning before we fly home.’
‘No, we said our good-byes.’ Ellen’s eyes twinkled. ‘Your response is exactly the one we hoped for, now that the abuse allegations have been debunked. By the way, Anna has no recollection of any abuse by you.’
‘What does she remember?’ Maggie asked, her curiosity piqued. ‘Can a child even have memories from infancy?’
‘Not often, but her sense memories are happy ones, and her recollection is feeling loved and safe with you.’
‘How great!’ Maggie felt a warm rush of happiness.
‘Tell her to stay in touch. She’s a lovely girl, your daughter.’
Your daughter. Maggie hadn’t heard those words in such a long time. ‘So she had this planned?’
/>
‘Not a plan, a dream.’
‘Of mine, too,’ Maggie said, thrilled.
Chapter Thirteen
Noah, After
TRIAL, DAY 4
‘Hi,’ Noah said, as Thomas entered the attorney’s conference room carrying a brown bag that filled the air with the aroma of French fries.
‘You’re about to have the best cheesesteak in the jurisdiction.’ Thomas set the bag on the table and unpacked Cokes, French fries, and cheesesteaks wrapped in greasy waxed paper.
‘Thanks.’ Noah slid his share over and unwrapped the warm sandwich with his free hand, since the other one was handcuffed to his stainless-steel chair, which was bolted to the floor, like the table. The attorneys’ conference room was a secured room near the courtroom, where they went for breaks or lunch, usually shorter than bullpen stays.
‘Where do you stand on the best cheesesteak in town?’ Thomas sat down and opened the cheesesteak, releasing a steamy cloud. ‘Pat’s v. Geno’s?’
‘I’m a Geno’s guy. You?’
‘Pat’s.’
‘Tourist.’
‘Wannabe.’
‘Can we still be friends?’
‘We never were friends.’ Thomas smiled, taking the tinfoil top off the French fries. ‘Also Jim’s Steaks on South is awesome.’
‘Agree.’
‘And Sammy’s in West Philly, where the white people never go.’
‘I never go,’ Noah said, and they laughed.
Thomas slid his phone from his pocket, placed it on the table, and took a massive bite of his cheesesteak, tilting his head to the side, the way Noah’s father used to. It brought back a warm feeling that Noah hadn’t had in years. Jonah Alderman had been a bricklayer, a stoic Pennsylvania Dutchman. The only time Noah had seen him cry was with happiness, the day Noah graduated from college.
‘So how do you think it’s going?’ Noah took a bite of his sandwich, which tasted delicious.
‘It’s going,’ Thomas answered, chewing away.
‘I want to testify.’
‘You’ll get killed up there.’ Thomas took another big bite, turning his head again.
‘I’m ready. We went over and over it. I’m good to go.’