CHAPTER XXIII. SEALS OF LOVE, BUT SEALED IN VAIN.
She sat waiting Le Gardeur's arrival, and the thought of him began toassert its influence as the antidote of the poisonous stuff she hadtaken into her imagination. His presence so handsome, his manner sokind, his love so undoubted, carried her into a region of intensesatisfaction. Angelique never thought so honestly well of herself aswhen recounting the marks of affection bestowed upon her by Le Gardeurde Repentigny. "His love is a treasure for any woman to possess, and hehas given it all to me!" said she to herself. "There are women who valuethemselves wholly by the value placed upon them by others; but I valueothers by the measure of myself. I love Le Gardeur; and what I love I donot mean to lose!" added she, with an inconsequence that fitted illwith her resolution regarding the Intendant. But Angelique was onewho reconciled to herself all professions, however opposite or howeverincongruous.
A hasty knock at the door of the mansion, followed by the quick,well-known step up the broad stair, brought Le Gardeur intoher presence. He looked flushed and disordered as he took hereagerly-extended hand and pressed it to his lips.
Her whole aspect underwent a transformation in the presence of herlover. She was unfeignedly glad to see him. Without letting go hishand she led him to the sofa, and sat down by him. Other men had thesemblance of her graciousness, and a perfect imitation it was too; buthe alone had the reality of her affection.
"O Le Gardeur!" exclaimed she, looking him through and through, anddetecting no flaw in his honest admiration, "can you forgive mefor asking you to come and see me to-night? and for absolutely noreason--none in the world, Le Gardeur, but that I longed to see you! Iwas jealous of Belmont for drawing you away from the Maison des Meloisesto-night!"
"And what better reason could I have in the world than that you werelonging to see me, Angelique? I think I should leave the gate of Heavenitself if you called me back, darling! Your presence for a minute ismore to me than hours of festivity at Belmont, or the company of anyother woman in the world."
Angelique was not insensible to the devotion of Le Gardeur. Her feelingswere touched, and never slow in finding an interpretation for them sheraised his hand quickly to her lips and kissed it. "I had no motivein sending for you but to see you, Le Gardeur!" said she; "will thatcontent you? If it won't--"
"This shall," replied he, kissing her cheek--which she was far fromaverting or resenting.
"That is so like you, Le Gardeur!" replied she,--"to take before itis given!" She stopped--"What was I going to say?" added she. "It wasgiven, and my contentment is perfect to have you here by my side!" Ifher thoughts reverted at this moment to the Intendant it was with afeeling of repulsion, and as she looked fondly on the face of Le Gardeurshe could not help contrasting his handsome looks with the hard, swarthyfeatures of Bigot.
"I wish my contentment were perfect, Angelique; but it is in your powerto make it so--will you? Why keep me forever on the threshold of myhappiness, or of my despair, whichever you shall decree? I have spokento Amelie tonight of you!"
"O do not press me, Le Gardeur!" exclaimed she, violently agitated,anxious to evade the question she saw burning on his lips, anddistrustful of her own power to refuse; "not now! not to-night! Anotherday you shall know how much I love you, Le Gardeur! Why will not mencontent themselves with knowing we love them, without stripping ourfavors of all grace by making them duties, and in the end destroying ourlove by marrying us?" A flash of her natural archness came over her faceas she said this.
"That would not be your case or mine, Angelique," replied he, somewhatpuzzled at her strange speech. But she rose up suddenly withoutreplying, and walked to a buffet, where stood a silver salver full ofrefreshments. "I suppose you have feasted so magnificently at Belmontthat you will not care for my humble hospitalities," said she, offeringhim a cup of rare wine, a recent gift of the Intendant,--which she didnot mention, however. "You have not told me a word yet of the grandparty at Belmont. Pierre Philibert has been highly honored by theHonnetes Gens I am sure!"
"And merits all the honor he receives! Why were you not there too,Angelique? Pierre would have been delighted," replied he, ever ready todefend Pierre Philibert.
"And I too! but I feared to be disloyal to the Fripponne!" said she,half mockingly. "I am a partner in the Grand Company you know, LeGardeur! But I confess Pierre Philibert is the handsomest man--exceptone--in New France. I own to THAT. I thought to pique Amelie one day bytelling her so, but on the contrary I pleased her beyond measure! Sheagreed without excepting even the one!"
"Amelie told me your good opinions of Pierre, and I thanked you for it!"said he, taking her hand. "And now, darling, since you cannot with wine,words, or winsomeness divert me from my purpose in making you declarewhat you think of me also, let me tell you I have promised Amelie tobring her your answer to-night!"
The eyes of Le Gardeur shone with a light of loyal affection. Angeliquesaw there was no escaping a declaration. She sat irresolute andtrembling, with one hand resting on his arm and the other held updeprecatingly. It was a piece of acting she had rehearsed to herselffor this foreseen occasion. But her tongue, usually so nimble and free,faltered for once in the rush of emotions that well-nigh overpoweredher. To become the honored wife of Le Gardeur de Repentigny, the sisterof the beauteous Amelie, the niece of the noble Lady de Tilly, was apiece of fortune to have satisfied, until recently, both her heart andher ambition. But now Angelique was the dupe of dreams and fancies. TheRoyal Intendant was at her feet. France and its courtly splendorsand court intrigues opened vistas of grandeur to her aspiring andunscrupulous ambition. She could not forego them, and would not! Sheknew that, all the time her heart was melting beneath the passionateeyes of Le Gardeur.
"I have spoken to Amelie, and promised to take her your answerto-night," said he, in a tone that thrilled every fibre of her betternature. "She is ready to embrace you as her sister. Will you be my wife,Angelique?"
Angelique sat silent; she dared not look up at him. If she had, sheknew her hard resolution would melt. She felt his gaze upon her withoutseeing it. She grew pale and tried to answer no, but could not; and shewould not answer yes.
The vision she had so wickedly revelled in flashed again upon her atthis supreme moment. She saw, in a panorama of a few seconds, the gildedhalls of Versailles pass before her, and with the vision came the oldtemptation.
"Angelique!" repeated he, in a tone full of passionate entreaty, "willyou be my wife, loved as no woman ever was,--loved as alone Le Gardeurde Repentigny can love you?"
She knew that. As she weakened under his pleading and grasped both hishands tight in hers, she strove to frame a reply which should say yeswhile it meant no; and say no which he should interpret yes.
"All New France will honor you as the Chatelaine de Repentigny! Therewill be none higher, as there will be none fairer, than my bride!" PoorLe Gardeur! He had a dim suspicion that Angelique was looking to Franceas a fitting theatre for her beauty and talents.
She still sat mute, and grew paler every moment. Words formed themselvesupon her lips, but she feared to say them, so terrible was theearnestness of this man's love, and no less vivid the consciousness ofher own. Her face assumed the hardness of marble, pale as Parian and asrigid; a trembling of her white lips showed the strife going on withinher; she covered her eyes with her hand, that he might not see the tearsshe felt quivering under the full lids, but she remained mute.
"Angelique!" exclaimed he, divining her unexpressed refusal; "why do youturn away from me? You surely do not reject me? But I am mad to thinkit! Speak, darling! one word, one sign, one look from those dear eyes,in consent to be the wife of Le Gardeur, will bring life's happiness tous both!" He took her hand, and drew it gently from her eyes and kissedit, but she still averted her gaze from him; she could not look at him,but the words dropped slowly and feebly from her lips in response to hisappeal:
"I love you, Le Gardeur, but I will not marry you!" said she. She couldnot utter more, but her hand grasped his with a fierce pr
essure, as ifwanting to hold him fast in the very moment of refusal.
He started back, as if touched by fire. "You love me, but will notmarry me! Angelique, what mystery is this? But you are only trying me!A thousand thanks for your love; the other is but a jest,--a good jest,which I will laugh at!" And Le Gardeur tried to laugh, but it was a sadfailure, for he saw she did not join in his effort at merriment, butlooked pale and trembling, as if ready to faint.
She laid her hands upon his heavily and sadly. He felt her refusal inthe very touch. It was like cold lead. "Do not laugh, Le Gardeur, Icannot laugh over it; this is no jest, but mortal earnest! What I say Imean! I love you, Le Gardeur, but I will not marry you!"
She drew her hands away, as if to mark the emphasis she could not speak.He felt it like the drawing of his heartstrings.
She turned her eyes full upon him now, as if to look whether love ofher was extinguished in him by her refusal. "I love you, Le Gardeur--youknow I do! But I will not--I cannot--marry you now!" repeated she.
"Now!" he caught at the straw like a drowning swimmer in a whirlpool."Now? I said not now but when you please, Angelique! You are worth aman's waiting his life for!"
"No, Le Gardeur!" she replied, "I am not worth your waiting for; itcannot be, as I once hoped it might be; but love you I do and evershall!" and the false, fair woman kissed him fatuously. "I love you, LeGardeur, but I will not marry you!"
"You do not surely mean it, Angelique!" exclaimed he; "you will not giveme death instead of life? You cannot be so false to your own heart, socruel to mine? See, Angelique! My saintly sister Amelie believed inyour love, and sent these flowers to place in your hair when youhad consented to be my wife,--her sister; you will not refuse them,Angelique?"
He raised his hand to place the garland upon her head, but Angeliqueturned quickly, and they fell at her feet. "Amelie's gifts are not forme, Le Gardeur--I do not merit them! I confess my fault: I am, I know,false to my own heart, and cruel to yours. Despise me,--kill me for itif you will, Le Gardeur! better you did kill me, perhaps! but I cannotlie to you as I can to other men! Ask me not to change my resolution,for I neither can nor will." She spoke with impassioned energy, as iffortifying her refusal by the reiteration of it.
"It is past comprehension!" was all he could say, bewildered at herwords thus dislocated from all their natural sequence of association."Love me and not marry me!--that means she will marry another!" thoughthe, with a jealous pang. "Tell me, Angelique," continued he, afterseveral moments of puzzled silence, "is there some inscrutable reasonthat makes you keep my love and reject my hand?"
"No reason, Le Gardeur! It is mad unreason,--I feel that,--but it is noless true. I love you, but I will not marry you." She spoke with moreresolution now. The first plunge was over, and with it her fear andtrembling as she sat on the brink.
The iteration drove him beside himself. He seized her hands, andexclaimed with vehemence,--"There is a man--a rival--a more fortunatelover--behind all this, Angelique des Meloises! It is not yourself thatspeaks, but one that prompts you. You have given your love to another,and discarded me! Is it not so?"
"I have neither discarded you, nor loved another," Angeliqueequivocated. She played her soul away at this moment with the mentalreservation that she had not yet done what she had resolved to do uponthe first opportunity--accept the hand of the Intendant Bigot.
"It is well for that other man, if there be one!" Le Gardeur rose andwalked angrily across the room two or three times. Angelique was playinga game of chess with Satan for her soul, and felt that she was losingit.
"There was a Sphinx in olden times," said he, "that propounded a riddle,and he who failed to solve it had to die. Your riddle will be the deathof me, for I cannot solve it, Angelique!"
"Do not try to solve it, dear Le Gardeur! Remember that when her riddlewas solved the Sphinx threw herself into the sea. I doubt that may bemy fate! But you are still my friend, Le Gardeur!" added she, seatingherself again by his side, in her old fond, coquettish manner. "Seethese flowers of Amelie's, which I did not place in my hair; I treasurethem in my bosom!" She gathered them up as she spoke, kissed them, andplaced them in her bosom.
"You are still my friend, Le Gardeur?" Her eyes turned upon him with theold look she could so well assume.
"I am more than a thousand friends, Angelique!" replied he; "but I shallcurse myself that I can remain so and see you the wife of another."
The very thought drove him to frenzy. He dashed her hand away and sprangup towards the door, but turned suddenly round. "That curse was not foryou, Angelique!" said he, pale and agitated; "it was for myself, forever believing in the empty love you professed for me. Good-by! Behappy! As for me, the light goes out of my life, Angelique, from thisday forth."
"Oh, stop! stop, Le Gardeur! do not leave me so!" She rose andendeavored to restrain him, but he broke from her, and without adieuor further parley rushed out bareheaded into the street. She ran tothe balcony to call him back, and leaning far over it, cried out, "LeGardeur! Le Gardeur!" That voice would have called him from the deadcould he have heard it, but he was already lost in the darkness. Afew rapid steps resounded on the distant pavement, and Le Gardeur deRepentigny was lost to her forever!
She waited long on the balcony, looking over it for a chance of hearinghis returning steps, but none came. It was the last impulse of her loveto save her, but it was useless. "Oh, God!" she exclaimed in a voiceof mortal agony, "he is gone forever--my Le Gardeur! my one true lover,rejected by my own madness, and for what?" She thought "For what!"and in a storm of passion, tearing her golden hair over her face,and beating her breast in her rage, she exclaimed,--"I am wicked,unutterably bad, worse and more despicable than the vilest creature thatcrouches under the bushes on the Batture! How dared I, unwomanly that Iam, reject the hand I worship for sake of a hand I should loathe in thevery act of accepting it? The slave that is sold in the market is betterthan I, for she has no choice, while I sell myself to a man whom Ialready hate, for he is already false to me! The wages of a harlot weremore honestly earned than the splendor for which I barter soul and bodyto this Intendant!"
The passionate girl threw herself upon the floor, nor heeded the bloodthat oozed from her head, bruised on the hard wood. Her mind was torn bya thousand wild fancies. Sometimes she resolved to go out like the Roseof Sharon and seek her beloved in the city and throw herself at hisfeet, making him a royal gift of all he claimed of her.
She little knew her own wilful heart. She had seen the world bow toevery caprice of hers, but she never had one principle to guide her,except her own pleasure. She was now like a goddess of earth, fallen inan effort to reconcile impossibilities in human hearts, and became thesport of the powers of wickedness.
She lay upon the floor senseless, her hands in a violent clasp. Herglorious hair, torn and disordered, lay over her like the royal robe ofa queen stricken from her throne and lying dead upon the floor of herpalace.
It was long after midnight, in the cold hours of the morning, whenshe woke from her swoon. She raised herself feebly upon her elbow,and looked dazedly up at the cold, unfeeling stars that go on shiningthrough the ages, making no sign of sympathy with human griefs. Perseushad risen to his meridian, and Algol, her natal star, alternatelydarkened and brightened as if it were the scene of some fierce conflictof the powers of light and darkness, like that going on in her own soul.
Her face was stained with hard clots of blood as she rose, cramped andchilled to the bone. The night air had blown coldly upon her throughthe open lattice; but she would not summon her maid to her assistance.Without undressing she threw herself upon a couch, and utterly worn outby the agitation she had undergone, slept far into the day.