instead.

  b/g (Silence)

  Maybe I’ll just make it my boudoir. That would be nice. (Giggles)

  b/g (Silence)

  You should hurry up. You’re running late.

  b/g (Continued eating sounds)

  So when will you be getting back today?

  b/g (Silence)

  It is bad luck to ignore your spouse you know?!

  b/g (Loud hard soled footsteps; knock on the door)

  TITI: (OFF) I am waiting Monica.

  MONICA: (Whispers) Mama Dayo is here.

  TITI: (OFF) Moni?!

  MONICA: Good morning Mama Dayo! Come in please!

  TITI: (OFF) I think…it is best I wait out here!

  MONICA: (Chuckles) Very well!

  b/g (Denise clears his throat and eating sounds pauses)

  TITI: (OFF) Moni we’re running late! I’ve to drop the children at school!

  MONICA: Isn’t Baba Dayo taking them as usual?

  TITI: (Chuckles) Not today apparently. The price of my dodged stance, I suppose!

  MONICA: (Sighs) Mine appears to be complete silence.

  TITI: (OFF) I’m surprised at Denise!

  b/g (Dishes stacked)

  MONICA: True colours are usually revealed with mild surprises.

  b/g (Eating sounds resume)

  TITI: (OFF) Denise must have left for work really early today. I didn’t hear him leave!

  MONICA: (Giggles) No, he is still very much here and sulking. He can hear every word you are uttering right now! (Giggles)

  TITI: (OFF) Oh, I’m sorry. I had no idea. Good morning Mr. Denise, how was your night!

  b/g (Silence)

  MONICA: (Chuckles) Let me put away these dishes and I’ll be out!

  b/g (Footsteps, door creaks)

  (OFF) Di, please when you’re through with your consciously prolonged eating, put away your dishes.

  b/g (Silence as eating sounds stops)

  (OFF) I’ll wash up later when I return…from work.

  b/g (Door creaks shut; footsteps)

  (Clearer) We’re leaving Di.

  b/g (Footsteps, furniture movement)

  I’ll see you later. No goodbye kisses for me?

  b/g (Silence)

  (Chuckles) I guess you would rather bite me instead.

  b/g (Silence)

  But won’t you just wish me well?

  TITI: (OFF) Moni?!

  MONICA: I’m coming!

  b/g (Silence)

  Bye.

  b/g (Door creaks open)

  DENISE: Moni. Please don’t do this.

  b/g (Silence)

  Don’t do this please.

  b/g (Silence)

  MONICA: (Clears throat) I’m sorry Mama Dayo; I will see you when you return!

  TITI: (OFF) Its okay Moni, I understand.

  b/g (Loud hard soled footsteps, door creaks shut)

  MONICA: Bye.

  TITI: (OFF) Good bye Moni.

  b/g (Silence)

  DENISE: Thank you, Moni.

  b/g (Soft footsteps, furniture movement, chair creaks)

  MONICA: (Sighs) You are welcome, sir.

  b/g (Silence)

  Good morning Di.

  DENISE: Good morning Moni.

  ###

  The End

  The poem

  For the goose, for the gander

  Truly men are all these;

  Gamine and very equal.

  Same flock, like geese;

  Gracile, fat, low or tall.

  Man envies other fauna’s

  So ordered chauvinism;

  Governing sexes’ manners,

  Which he lost to pessimism.

  His most domesticated flora

  Flowers in care and abuses,

  Beyond its feminine aura;

  Winning just as he looses.

  The good old Goose

  Lost her lone Gander.

  Proud less of her loss,

  Matured beyond order.

  Living with only them,

  By the hedges they grew.

  For that edge over them,

  He still says, ‘Grâce â Dieu!’

  About the author

  Yas Niger is a Nigerian writer and poet with progressively traditional views. A trained educationist, activist and social media commentator who writes fictional works on contemporary African and world issues, advocating civilized virtues. With a preference for simple poetry and unconventional literary prose, he writes in a removed assertive manner, reflecting on everyday secular relationships.

  ***

  Other titles by Yas Niger:

  STATE OF THE STATE

  ROMANCE OF THE REGIONS

  BREASTS OF DOOM

  WHAT DO YOU TELL A SON

  THE OLD WOMAN'S MAID

  STRENGTH OF A WOMAN

  GOOD FOR THE GOOSE

  EVEN ODDS

  THE WHORE

  BOKO HARAM

  Heinrich Böll Stiftung Nigeria sponsored collaboration with seven other Nigerian writers:

  NAMELESS

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