He squeezes my shoulder, and I realize he’s still waiting for an answer.
“I’ve been having a lot of bad dreams lately.”
In my dreams, the fire still explodes out of the stainless steel door, but it’s Max who had opened it. In the worst of the dreams, Max is dead and Kirk Nowell is coming at me with a pair of pliers. Or Max is sick, bright red blood frothing on his lips, and I hold his tiny body until it goes limp and his eyes roll back in his head. No matter what form the nightmare takes, I wake up feeling drained, bile bitter on the back of my tongue.
The government is now making a new batch of the hantavirus vaccine. The plan is for it to be ready by next summer so they can offer it to the farmers and ranchers who live in the area where the field mice make their home. My parents are working with other virologists and wildlife biologists to figure out if it’s possible to eliminate the hantavirus from the field mice altogether.
Ty drops his arm, shrugs his backpack onto one shoulder, and pulls out a thermos. “I’ve got the cure for bad dreams,” he says. “Hot cocoa.”
“With marshmallows?” I’m joking, but he grins and pulls a plastic bag of mini marshmallows from one of his coat pockets.
While he unscrews the lid, I try to shake away the memories, to ground myself in the moment. We’re safe now, and free, and we’re no longer on the run. I know who I am and I have all my memories—good and bad. When the trials happen, I’ll deal with them.
I take a deep breath of the sharp, clean air. The snow sparkles in the sun like diamonds. Ty hands me the tiny tan plastic cup, and I fill my mouth with the sweet brown liquid, the marshmallows melting on my tongue. I feel the warmth going all the way down.
I hand the empty cup back to Ty. He fills it again and raises it to his mouth, his eyes scanning the horizon, while I watch him. I’m not sure how I should act around him. Everything has been so crazy. We know all kinds of things about each other, and we know we can trust each other, but we’ve never kissed. Does he even like me as a girl? Does he even know the real me? And who is the real me anyway? The girl who got straight As and starred in plays? The girl who almost died? The girl who fought back any way she could?
And then Ty turns to me and his lips touch mine. And I find an old answer deep within myself.
Don’t act. Be.
The past is over; the future is yet to come. I have only this moment, sparkling like a diamond in my hand and then melting like a snowflake.
I stop thinking and kiss him back.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Thanks to Christy Ottaviano, Amy Allen, Marianne Cohen, Rich Deas, April Ward, Holly Hunnicutt, Allison Verost, Lucy Del Priore, Emily Waters, and all the other wonderful folks at Henry Holt/Macmillan. I am so glad you are on my team. My agent, Wendy Schmalz, has been my cheerleader, advocate, and confidant for twenty years.
Firefighter and paramedic Joe Collins helped me figure out how to best set a fire. Dr. Denene Lofland shared her knowledge of bioweapons. Author Jennifer Lynn Barnes answered a weird question I had about chimpanzees. And a police officer who would rather not be named was kind enough to send me snapshots of the inside of her patrol car.
Thanks also to two all-around-wonderful resources: Lee Lofland, who founded The Writers Police Academy, and all the great experts in the Crime Scene Writers Yahoo Group.
Singer-songwriter Kathleen Edwards inadvertently sparked the idea for this book.
And without my family, none of this would be worthwhile.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
April Henry is the New York Times bestselling author of many acclaimed mysteries for adults and young adults, including the YA novels Girl, Stolen and The Night She Disappeared, and the thriller Face of Betrayal, co-authored with Lis Wiehl. She lives in Oregon.
Also by April Henry
Praise for The Night She Disappeared:
“[A] fast-paced, gripping thriller … Gabie is an intriguing protagonist.”
—School Library Journal
“The reader must wait with bated breath to see when and if the characters will uncover the truth as the suspense builds to a fever pitch near the end of the book.”
—VOYA
Praise for Girl, Stolen:
Winner of the 2012 Maryland Black-Eyed Susan Award
An ALA Best Book for Young Adults
An ALA Quick Pick for Young Adults
“Constantly interesting and suspenseful.”
—Kirkus Reviews
“Thoroughly exciting.”
—Booklist
“Readers will be hard-pressed to put this one down before its heart-pounding conclusion.”
—School Library Journal
Text copyright © 2013 by April Henry
Henry Holt and Company, LLC
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Christy Ottaviano Books
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All rights reserved.
The Library of Congress has cataloged the print edition as follows:
Henry, April.
The girl who was supposed to die / April Henry. — First edition.
pages cm
Summary: “She doesn’t know who she is. She doesn’t know where she is, or why. All she knows when she comes to in a ransacked cabin is that there are two men arguing over whether or not to kill her. And that she must run. Follow Cady and Ty (her accidental savior turned companion), as they race against the clock to stay alive.” —Provided by publisher.
ISBN 978-0-8050-9541-8 (hardback) — ISBN 978-0-8050-9903-4 (e-book)
[1. Amnesia—Fiction. 2. Adventure and adventurers—Fiction. 3. Survival—Fiction. 4. Biological warfare—Fiction. 5. Identity theft—Fiction. 6. Mystery and detective stories.] I. Title.
PZ7.H39356Giu 2013 [Fic]—dc23 2013001698
eISBN 9780805099034
First hardcover edition 2013
eBook edition June 2013
April Henry, The Girl Who Was Supposed to Die
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