Page 29 of Monstrato


  ~~~

  But, come Monday, there was Hope sitting in homeroom. I screamed when I saw her and ran over and gave her a big hug. I said, "All right, girl, you came back. This is awesome. So did your mom change her mind?"

  She said, "Not really."

  "So what happened? Don't tell me you just came to turn in your books or something."

  She was sitting there with her backpack and jacket still in her lap, like she just sat down, and on the table in front of her was a big stack of books. She spoke in a real quiet voice. I knew it was because she didn't want the other kids in the room to hear. She said, "No, I told my mom, 'Why should I let this keep me out of school? It wasn't my fault. Why should I fail a bunch of classes just because other people screwed up?'"

  I said, "Rock on, girl. Screw those mugs. You gotta do what makes you happy." I sat down next to her and asked, "So how are you feeling? Are you gonna be okay?"

  "I'm all right, I guess."

  "Are you really?"

  She said, "Yeah," and nodded her head. She looked scared.

  She sat there quiet for a moment, kind of staring into space. Then she said, "I called Garrett last night."

  "Yeah?"

  "We broke up…"

  "No shit!"

  "Yeah. I told him, 'If you can't deal with what I'm going through, then too bad because that's all I'm dealing with right now. You can either support me or get lost.'"

  "You told him to get lost?"

  She smiled and said, "Well, not exactly. But I guess, after all this happened, I realized I didn't need him after all. I realized that I don't even love him."

  "Well good," I said. "You don't need him, Hope. You've got other people who care about you." Then Chelsea and Lori came into the room all excited to see Hope. They asked her how she was doing and told her how much they missed her. This just embarrassed Hope, but she smiled and tried to act gracious. When we left homeroom and went into Current Events, Hope looked nervous, like she thought someone was gonna jump on her at any moment. She didn't talk to anyone else the whole morning.

  On the same Monday that Hope came back to school, Corena and Tammy also decided to show up. Nobody saw them come in; we just heard from someone that they'd been seen hanging out in Tammy's office. I can only wonder what Tammy and Corena thought when they found out Hope was at school. I bet they never expected her to come back to Lifegate. I bet they were scared and freaked out…scared to face little ol' Hope Swanson who was just wandering from class to class not saying anything to anyone. It might explain why Corena spent the whole day in her mom's office, not daring to come to class.

  During third hour, I went to the office with Mrs. Garrison's attendance. While I was standing at the window waiting for Mrs. Bouchard, I turned around and took a look inside Tammy's office and saw Corena sitting there, staring right at me. It surprised me, and I turned back to the office window right away. But as I thought about it, it seemed like she didn't even recognize me, like she was staring through me, thinking about something. It was kinda disturbing seeing her with that phased out look on her face because Corena was always so alert and on edge. And as I walked back down the hall towards Mrs. Garrison's room, I pictured her snapping out of it and coming after me. I was waiting to hear her voice behind me, saying, "Hey, Macy! I need to talk to you," but it never came.

  Tammy also spent the whole day up by the offices, and at lunchtime, she was nowhere to be seen. Most of the time, when Tammy came back to school after being gone for a few days, she'd feel like she needed to reassert herself and let everyone know she was back. She'd turn into Mrs. Business, swooping in and out of classrooms, getting things done and acting real friendly but with no time to talk and all that play. But not this time. Whenever I walked by her office that day, her door was shut, and when I stopped to listen, I couldn't even hear her voice. She was acting like she didn't want anybody to know she was there. What I think is that she was too embarrassed to show her face around school.

  And this feeling that Tammy had gotten herself into some deep trouble was stronger than ever. But now, a new vibe was going around. Seemed like those real quiet dork kids who never said anything were, all of a sudden, more relaxed. They were talking more, letting loose with their personalities, and even getting into trouble. And those kids who were always stirring things up in every class had suddenly started behaving. A shift was taking place. You could feel it. Sidney Bouchard and Latisha were being friendlier with us girls, acting like they weren't so tight with Corena after all. And boys like Calvin, Garrett, and Andy were showing up for class again and not acting like such big shots. People were being nicer and putting stupid differences aside. A change was happening, and I knew what it was.

  You see, kids were getting used to Tammy and Corena not being around, and they liked seeing all of Corena's friends coming to class, behaving like other students. Now they were starting to think Tammy wasn't gonna be such a tyrant from now on—as if this Hope incident had actually caused Tammy to feel sorry for something she'd done and taught her a lesson. Kids were hoping things were gonna be a little more chill around Lifegate, a little more fair and normal…like we were going to a regular school. I could feel it myself and wanted it to be true, but everything I knew about Tammy told me that wasn't gonna be the case.
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