“It’s the animate centaurs I need to know about.”
“Then maybe the one you want is my sister Dawn.”
“The one I want is you.”
“How do you mean that?” she demanded, bridling.
“Eve,” Jumper murmured. “Persuasion.”
She re oriented, and took a more positive tack. “But we have no future, Clark. We’re not physically compatible.”
“An accommodation spell would fix that.”
“Accommodation to what?”
“Eve,” Jumper repeated.
She nodded, mentally removing her bridle. “So it would.” She sighed. “We should not have kissed. It started something we shouldn’t finish.”
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“I apologize.”
“That’s not sufficient.”
“I know. But what else can I do?”
“You can apologize the gourd way. Pick me up.”
“But—”
“Are you slow on the uptake?”
He paused, then picked her and kissed her again. Several more hearts appeared.
The persuasion was starting.
“They’re right,” Sharon murmured. “They should not have kissed the first time. Now they’re stuck in a descending spiral.”
“Descending?”
“The gourd-style apology leads to more of what they are apologizing for. Obviously they both want it.”
“Why don’t they just stop?”
“I’ll show you.” She put her hands on his elbows, heaved him up, and kissed him.
Jumper felt half a slew of hearts radiating out. Her new form didn’t matter; her kiss was as potent as ever.
After a deliciously long moment she drew her face back a little. “I shouldn’t have done that, so I’ll apologize.” She drew him in and kissed him again. More hearts appeared.
After another timeless instant she drew back again. “And I shouldn’t have done that either,” she said. “So I must apologize again.” This time her kiss caused the hearts to tumble over each other, forming an expanding cloud. Jumper was beginning to understand. But he was more interested in kissing her. Which was, of course, the descending spiral.
“You mentioned an accommodation spell,” he gasped at the next break. “I’m not sure exactly how that works.”
“We don’t need it. Get on my back.” She set him down, and he walked around her to climb onto her back. Then she carried him to another stall.
“Why don’t we need it?” he asked. “Isn’t it magic to enable two dissimilar creatures to— to get together?”
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“You’ll see.”
When they were private, she changed to human form and embraced him. Oh. He had forgotten about her shape-changing. It occurred to him that it might be fortunate that dream romances did not alert the storks. What kind of baby would a Demon/human/spider crossbreed be? In due course, exhausted for the moment, they agreed to give it a rest. She returned to centaur form and carried him back to the king’s stall.
Eve and Clark seemed to have settled their relationship, one way or another, and were now concentrating on the piled papers. Eve picked up one and commented on it. “This is made by a totally honest scribe,” she said. “I suspect from what it has seen and overheard while in his company that he does not approve of you, but he’s not a politician and prefers to keep his mouth shut.”
“Then he should be ideal to research and make quality appointments,” Clark said. “His opinion of me may improve when he learns that I have recovered my honor.”
“Yes.” Then she looked up and saw Jumper and Sharon. “We’re searching out the best possible appointments, so that he can be the best possible king. He may have achieved the office by illicit means, but now he will fulfill it with honor, so that the centaurs will prosper better than before. I may serve as liaison to the human court. Humans and centaurs can do each other much good, if they care to try.”
“Makes sense to me,” Jumper said, gratified that things were working out. “How about you, Sharon?”
“I support my brother in what ever he does. An honestly run kingdom makes sense.”
“How does this forward your agenda?”
“If she marries him, she’ll desert your mission.”
“I’m not going to do either, of course,” Eve said. “The mission is first. Then, if Clark is still interested, we’ll consider a royal liaison complete with accommodation spell.”
“But if his talent is to make people do his will, he may make you quit the mission.”
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“Newfound honor prevents me,” Clark said. “Besides, that might annoy her, and I don’t want her annoyed at me.”
“You bet you don’t, horse tail,” Eve agreed. But now the name was an endearment rather than an insult. She picked up another paper. “This one was handled by an utter scoundrel. You can’t trust him farther than you can see him.”
“But he’s one of my most loyal assistants!”
“He is also pretty good at fooling people. But this paper has seen how he is when not observed, and it’s quite different. He is loyal only until it will pay him to betray you.”
“This is hard to believe.”
Eve’s lips quirked. “Believe me, or believe him.”
“I believe you,” he said immediately. “And it is apparent that I need you. We must go through all of these papers.”
“Yes, we must.” She glanced again at Jumper. “This will be quite dull for you. Why don’t you go for a ride in the park, or something? We have a kingdom to or ga nize.”
Jumper looked at Sharon. “Certainly,” she said. “Hop on.”
He did, and she carried him out into the surrounding countryside. It was lovely, with centaurs working everywhere. “They are very industrious,” she remarked. “Good workers.”
“I’m sure. Do you actually care about the centaurs?”
“No. But what I said about my ‘brother’ is true: I serve his purpose. He wants Clark and Eve to get to know each other. Actually a human/ centaur liaison would indeed be beneficial to both.”
“So far you have tried to corrupt five girls and me. I don’t think you have succeeded with any.”
“We have only begun to corrupt. You have not yet seen the second act.”
Jumper made a human shrug. “I can’t wait.”
“Fortunately, we can.” She entered another private stall, and was instantly all human. “And you will have trouble living without me, by the time I’m through with you. Once any male has tasted the wares of a De mon ess, no mortal female can fully satisfy him.”
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Jumper feared she was speaking literally. But he couldn’t resist her warm embrace.
In due course they returned to the palace stall. Clark and Eve were wrapping up. “I think you are well on the way to establishing an honorable kingdom,” she told him.
“Here is an amulet,” he said, giving her a tiny silver horse shoe.
“When you are interested—”
“When you have that accommodation spell. It is too complicated without it.”
“Tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow.”
Sammy Cat had been napping throughout. Now he was in motion, leading their way.
Soon enough they were back at the Found Cabin.
“Yew too!” Wenda exclaimed.
“Well, it’s all in the dream realm,” Eve said. “I surely wouldn’t do this in real life.”
“Dew what?”
Eve laughed, showing the
horse
shoe. Then everyone laughed.
Jumper suspected that Clark might already have found the accommodation spell.
“But we are going to complete t
he mission,” Haughty said severely.
“Oh, yes,” Eve agreed. “Fun is fun, but the mission comes first.”
Jumper hoped that really was the case. Sharon seemed too confident, and the girls were too willing. But all he could do was carry on and hope for the best.
Haughty vanished, then returned. “Time for the break,” she said. One by one they disappeared. This time Dawn was the final one.
“Tomorrow it is you and I,” she said, and opened her shirt, flashing him with her bra. “Do you know what this is?”
“Your upper undergarment,” he said, not freaking. He had seen too much recently to be seriously affected, though it did, as always, stir his illicit desire.
“My booby trap,” she said, and vanished.
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Oh, ugh! What an uncouth pun. That, rather than the bra, was on the verge of freaking him out.
Then he was back with the others in the Ogre’s Den. Another day was done, but they still had not found what they needed from the dream realm. Suppose they completed the final delivery, and still didn’t find it? Would that mean that Pluto had succeeded in stopping them after all, while diverting them with these spot scenes? But he did not voice this doubt.
“You look worn,” Tandy said. “Too much time in the gourd can do that.”
“Tomorrow it will be finished,” Jumper said. And hoped that it was. 039-40892_ch01_4P.qxp 7/30/09 12:35 PM Page 176 9
INNOCENCE
Next morning they gathered again in the Found Cabin. It was Princess Dawn’s turn, and she was ready with the little silver unicorn symbol. But Jumper was ner vous. He paused before taking his dose of conversion elixir.
“In each case, there has been a man in trouble, and his sister Sharon has been there with him,” he said. “This is scripted material, and we have been playing right into the script. I think that is dangerous for the success of our mission.”
“It surely is,” Haughty agreed. “But how else can we fulfill the Prophecy?”
“I don’t know. But I am beginning to wonder about the validity of the Prophecy. We have taken it on faith. Suppose it, too, is crafted by Pluto?”
That made them pause. “How do we know?” Haughty asked. “We never questioned it.”
“Neither did the Good Magician,” Dawn pointed out.
“But neither did he exactly endorse it,” Eve said. “He’s letting us figure it out for ourselves. Maybe what we have to figure out is that it’s fake.”
“That is my concern,” Jumper said. “If so, we are wasting our time here in the dream realm.”
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“But we have met some really handsome men,” Phanta said.
“Which may be the idea,” Olive said. “To distract us so we don’t question the larger picture.”
“And now we face a challenge of Innocence,” Dawn said. “Could it be our own innocence at stake?”
“We’re knot very innocent after what we did with those men,” Wenda said.
“This is the dream realm,” Eve reminded her. “We may be deluded about what stork summoning actually entails. Have any of us done it in the real realm?”
“Yes, I have,” Phanta said. “But I ghosted out the stork aspect.”
“And I,” Maeve said. “It got the stork after me.”
“I haven’t done it directly,” Olive said. “But a number of my imaginary friends have, so I think I have a fair notion.” She glanced passingly at Jumper.
“So have I,” Jumper said, taking his cue. “But that was with an imaginary woman, so maybe it doesn’t count.”
“How does your experience here in the dream compare?” Eve asked.
“It’s much better in the dream,” Phanta said. “The man is paying more attention, catering to you, loving you. In the real realm, once he gets what he wants he either goes away or falls asleep. It’s not nearly so much fun.”
“He went away,” Maeve agreed ruefully. “Leaving me to deal with the stork alone.”
“That’s the risk the girl takes,” Olive said. “My friends are mostly disgusted. They thought he liked them for themselves, and it turned out that once he sent the signal he hardly cared about anything else.”
They glanced at Jumper. “I guess I did that,” he confessed, embarrassed. “I was interested in just the one thing. She didn’t complain. But she was teaching me.”
“She liked interacting with a man who didn’t drop dead at the sight of her,” Olive said. “Your spider heart didn’t pain you the way a human heart would have.”
“Still, I was being a typical thoughtless man. You girls encountered much better men.”
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“Knot better, just different,” Wenda said. “Yew wood listen to us, and beecome a satisfactory lover, woodn’t yew?”
“I would try,” Jumper said humbly. “Knot that— I mean, not that I wood ever, would ever—”
“We know,” she said, squeezing a foreleg.
He hoped they didn’t know how attractive he found them, regardless of his form. He had never known human beings before, and was increasingly impressed. Sharon was compelling, and he truly enjoyed his time with her, but he also enjoyed his time with the girls, in a different way. One huge difference was that he trusted them in a way he did not trust Sharon. They were his honest friends, not his deceptive enemy. But it wasn’t entirely platonic, as Dawn and Eve demonstrated when they teasingly flashed him. And that hint Dawn had dropped about going beyond teasing . . .
“So we’re experiencing idealized relationships,” Eve said. “With men who have an agenda: to corrupt us.”
“Scripted,” Jumper agreed.
“Those are not to be trusted,” Dawn said. “We should not allow those men to seduce us.”
“How fortunate that you now have the chance to show the way,” Eve said sweetly. “When that handsome, sweet-talking man comes at you, you just tell him to disappear.”
“Exactly as you told that centaur king,” Dawn shot back.
“Listen, you bra-brained, morning-air-headed—”
“Look who’s talking, you panty-pooping, night-stalking—”
“I think it’s time for us to get moving,” Jumper said hastily, gulping down the vial he had been holding.
And of course both girls flashed him simultaneously, only worse: Dawn’s bra and Eve’s pan ties were missing. And he reacted, causing the others to laugh appreciatively before Wenda could cover him up. He had fallen for their little trap, and embarrassed himself. Again. Dawn, fully clothed, addressed the cat. “Sammy, this time let’s try the scenic route, so that our approach is not so obvious. Maybe we can surprise them.”
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Sammy was off in his usual manner. Did he understand? They would just have to follow and hope for the best.
This time their route led to a Playing Card bicycle stand. It seemed these existed in the dream realm too. So Jumper and Dawn mounted and rode after Sammy as he bounded along the path. It wound through field and forest, o’er hill and dale, and past appealing lakes. He did indeed seem to be taking the scenic route. Jumper glanced down at the front of his cycle, and saw a little sign he hadn’t noticed before: pa chine. What did that mean? He glanced across at Dawn’s cycle, and saw that its sign said ma chine. Oh— they were male and female machines, for male and female riders. The path darkened; a storm seemed to be brewing. Jumper hoped it wasn’t another sadistic tantrum by Fracto, the nasty cloud. Just the darkening was a nuisance, as they were passing through a forest, so that the shade of the trees intensified. These human eyes did not see as well as spider eyes; there were too few of them, and they tended to focus straight ahead, instead of all around. He was afraid he would steer into stone or pit.
Dawn picked u
p on his concern, her talent seeming to work without her actually needing to touch him. “Try these,” she said, passing him something from her backpack as she cycled beside him. Which surprised him; he hadn’t noticed the pack before. Had it even been there? He looked at the object. It was some sort of small folded framework, with circles of glass in the middle. He could not make tail or head of it; in fact, it seemed to have neither.
“Oh, I forget,” she said. “You don’t know much about human things. Halt, and I’ll show you.”
He brought the bike to a halt. She stopped beside him, then laid down her machine and stood before him. She took the object from his hand, held it aloft, leaned forward, and kissed him. Then, as he stood slightly stunned, she set the contraption on his face. “What?” he asked, uncertain whether he was questioning her about the kiss or the object.
“They’re sun glasses,” she said. “You’ll see.”
He looked through the lenses, which were now in front of his eyes. 039-40892_ch01_4P.qxp 7/30/09 12:35 PM Page 180 180
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The dark shadows were gone; it was now bright as full noonday. In fact, a patch of sunlight seemed to be hovering before him, illuminating the region and Dawn. “What?” he repeated, feeling even less certain.
“Sun glasses,” she explained. “They can be useful when the view is gloomy. Let me adjust them.” She leaned forward, and he saw right down inside her shirt and bra. That slightly stunned him again. He wasn’t freaking out, but the impact did shake him. When he recovered, she was back on her cycle. “Now we can move at speed,” she said. “You can see everything.” She pedaled her pedals and rode ahead of him.
She was wrong: he didn’t see everything, only a portion of her white panty where her shirt did not quite tuck in to her skirt. That set him back yet again, but he focused with determination and managed to get his cycle moving, following hers. Was she doing it on purpose?
“Of course,” she said with satisfaction. “It’s called flirting.”
“But you know I’m really a spider!”
“That’s what makes it a challenge. Eve and I can freak out any normal man without effort, but it’s much harder to do it to you. So we rise to the occasion.”