“Would you?” Dawn asked.
“Of course. I’m a naughty girl.”
“Well, we have our own chore to complete, regardless,” Dawn said.
“We have to restore a girl’s lost innocence.”
Sati laughed somewhat harder than strictly necessary. “Lotsa luck!”
“It does seem unlikely,” Dawn agreed. “Nevertheless, that’s our mission.”
“I think it’s impossible. Apart from that, I’m the only woman in the castle who is even theoretically innocent, and no spell will restore me to my pristine state, if it ever existed.”
“Maybe it’s for a man,” Jumper said.
“Such as my father Belial? Forget it. You have a bum lead this time.”
“Sammy doesn’t think so,” Dawn said, evidently nettled. Indeed, the cat was still sedately leading the way.
Sati shrugged. “Well, what will be, will be.”
They came to the castle gate. Sammy went right on in, and they followed. He led the way up a huge winding stone stairway. A mouse peeked at them from a crevice, then dissolved into dust. The proprietor was watching them.
“I am getting curiouser and curiouser,” Sati said. “This is where my father’s bedroom is. There’s been no one innocent there in generations.”
The cat drew up at a massive closed wooden door. “What we want must be beyond that door,” Dawn said.
“Then you want my father.” Sati knocked.
In half a moment it opened. There stood a solid but still handsome older man. This was obviously King Belial. “The feast is downstairs,”
he said gruffly.
But Sammy walked right by him, and up to a closed closet door. He sat again, waiting.
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“That closet is private,” Belial said.
“But that’s where we have to go,” Jumper said.
“Too bad. The door is locked, and only I know the magic password to open it. Go down to the banquet hall, feast, spend the night if you wish, then go home. There’s nothing for you here.”
“You can’t—” Jumper started.
But Dawn put a hand on his arm. “Why don’t you let Sati give you a tour of the grounds while I reason with Belial? Perhaps I can persuade him of the logic of our case.”
Jumper was about to protest, uncertain what kind of persuasion she had in mind. But Sati took his arm. “This seems reasonable,” she murmured. “We have marvelous sights to show off.” She guided him out the bedroom door.
Jumper glanced back. That was one of the awkward things about this human form: he couldn’t see behind him without turning his head, so that everyone knew what he was looking at. Dawn was also taking the king by the arm and guiding him toward the bed. She was going to show him her bra, or worse!
Sati didn’t take Jumper outside, but to her own bedroom suite. “You know I can’t let you go without indulging in some intimate dialogue,”
she said, closing the door behind them.
“But we aren’t even at our destination,” he protested. “This is just a stop along the way.”
“A pleasant stop,” she agreed, stepping out of her clothes. Which was surely what Dawn was doing with the king. Well, when push came to shove, he realized that Dawn was a princess, and of an age to do what she liked. She wanted to have her share of the free fun the dream realm offered, if only to match what her sister had done.
“You pause to think too much,” Sharon said, pulling him close to her. “It slows the narrative.” He discovered that his silk shorts were off; she must have removed them during his distraction. They landed together on her bed. Then the rest of the dream realm faded out of his awareness as he became lost in the ever new and exciting wonder of her eager body. How he wished that such an affair could be real, instead of just a diversion to 039-40892_ch01_4P.qxp 7/30/09 12:35 PM Page 191
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prevent him from completing his mission! She was such a fine woman, even if she wasn’t really a woman, but a De mon ess. She had said that she wanted to make him fall in love with her, so that he would give up the mission to win her return love. But a De mon ess couldn’t truly love, so his wish was foolish. Even so, he was well on the way to that folly.
“A punny for your thoughts,” she said as they lay surfeit for the moment.
“What?”
“Did you hear the one about the quarter pounder? It’s a sledgehammer used to pound quarters.”
“Who would want to pound residential quarters?” he asked, perplexed. She laughed. “Oh, Dawn is right! You are such a delight.”
Then he realized that it was her pun. He had walked right into it, and now was required to share his thoughts.
He sighed. The human form was good for that. “I was wishing for the impossible.”
“That I would love you for real, instead of in pretense?”
“Yes.”
“Let me tell you something, Jumper. There are fundamental laws of magic that apply even to Demons. One is the rule of marriage. When a mortal marries a D/demon— that is, capped or not— half the mortal’s soul goes to the demon. That changes the nature of the demon so that she develops a conscience, and is capable of love.”
He stared at her. “If you married me—”
“My love for you would become real. I would be constrained by the same ethical guidelines as a mortal woman, though I would remain immortal. Your wish would be granted.”
He was amazed. “Then—”
“All you need to do is marry me.”
Then he saw the catch. “But of course you would never do that. It would be too limiting for you.”
“Jumper, if that’s what it takes to stop your mission, I’ll do it. All you have to do is ask me.”
“Ask you?”
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“To marry you. In return for abandoning your mission.”
“I can’t do that!”
“Too bad. If you married me, not only would I be perpetually loyal to you, I’d do it with you every day. Every hour, if you chose.”
“Do it?” he asked blankly.
“This.” She took hold of him and led him into another fantastic sequence of lovemaking.
“But I’m a spider!” he protested when he recovered his breath after the siege.
“And I’m a shape changer.” Suddenly she was a giant spider. “I am your best match, Jumper. For a price.”
She was indeed. But he refused to pay her price. “I won’t ask you,”
he said.
She reverted to sexy human form. “You don’t know what you’re missing.”
“I do have half a notion,” he said with deep regret. “But I made a deal, and I will honor it.”
“You and that stupid ogre,” she said. “Chained by your souls. Now that I think of it, I would really hate to be bound by honor. It leads only to mischief.”
“Yes.” He got off the bed and put his silk shorts back on. It was time to see what kind of a deal Dawn was fending off.
“You should dress better than that,” she said. “The servants would freak out if you attended the banquet in that.” She got lithely up and went to a closet. In half a moment she brought out a nice human suit.
“Don this.”
He didn’t question how it was she had a male suit in her bedroom closet. This was, after all, the dream realm. He donned it, and it fit perfectly. They returned to the king’s bedroom. Belial lay exhausted on the bed, while Dawn was just snapping her bra back together. There was no need to inquire as to the nature of her reasoning with the man.
“But our mission—” Jumper said, afraid she had made the same deal he had turned down.
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“Continues,” she said. She walked to the closet and put a key to the lock.
“Oh, bleep,” Sha
ron said. “You sold it for the key.”
“He couldn’t resist the deal,” Dawn agreed. “He’s a man. You know how it is.”
“And you’re a woman,” Sharon agreed. “You know how to use it.”
Jumper realized that Belial was supposed to tempt Dawn from the mission. Instead she had tempted him from his key. She was a princess and a Sorceress, but also some woman.
Dawn turned the key. The lock clicked. The door opened. Beyond it was a swirling blankness.
“I’ll be d**ned,” Dawn breathed, emulating the harpy’s word blotting.
“Yes, it’s a secret portal to Mundania,” Sharon said. “Your mission evidently takes you there.”
Sammy got up and walked into the swirl.
“Let’s go,” Dawn said, grasping Jumper’s hand. They followed the cat into the unknown.
And landed in the room of a young Mundane girl. She was sitting on her bed, sobbing piteously. Beside her sat an ornate little box. Sammy settled down by her feet for a nap. This was definitely the person they were looking for.
“Uh, hello,” Jumper said.
The girl looked up. Her face was streaked with tears. “Who are you?”
“I am Jumper, and this is Dawn. And that’s Sammy Cat. We’re from the Land of Xanth. We’re here to restore your lost innocence.”
The girl burst into renewed tears. “No one can do that!” she cried. “I am Dora, beset by the Drums of Dole, and have fallen into a Blue Funk. There is no hope for me.”
Dawn approached her, extending the Unicorn Symbol, but it shied away. Something was preventing the restoration of her innocence. Dawn touched Dora’s head. “You need to visit Xanth,” she said, fathoming more about the girl. Jumper realized that Dawn now knew how Dora had lost her innocence, and what to do about it.
“Where?”
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“Come with us. And bring your box.” She took Dora’s hand and led her to the closet.
Jumper and Sammy followed, trusting Dawn to know what she was doing.
They passed through the blank swirl and emerged in King Belial’s bedroom. Belial and Sati/Sharon were standing there, still surprised by the party’s passage through the portal.
“This is Dora,” Dawn said. “Short for Pandora. She opened her box, when she shouldn’t have, and all the evils of Mundania were loosed, making it a horrible place. Those evils cost her her innocence. But Xanth is new to her, so she can start over, with renewed innocence.”
Dawn extended the unicorn symbol again. This time it sank into the girl. “Oh!” she cried with innocent delight.
“Now open the box again,” Dawn said.
Dora did. Something flew out, swirled around the room, touched Jumper, then sailed on out the window.
Jumper’s eyes and mouth opened in awe. “Suddenly I have Hope!”
he said. “Hope to complete our mission despite the barriers yet to be overcome.”
“Yes, the one thing left in the box was Hope,” Dawn said. “It seems that was what you needed, Jumper. Now it is loose in Xanth, so anybody will be able to share it.”
“But what about me?” Dora asked.
“You have a private portal to Xanth,” Dawn said. “You will be able to visit here whenever you want to. I’m sure these nice people will help you start your innocent exploration of it.”
“Why should we do that?” Sharon demanded.
“Because if you don’t, you will anger Jumper and me,” Dawn said decisively. “Then you will have absolutely no hope of achieving your mission. You can’t afford the risk.”
Sharon exchanged a glance with Belial. Then she extended her hand to Dora. “We’ll start with our magic gardens,” she said. “They have wonders galore.”
“Time to return,” Dawn said. She addressed the cat. “Sammy, this time show us the direct route, not the scenic route.”
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Sammy was up and in the air, leaping out the window. Jumper hesitated, but Dawn didn’t; she scrambled out after the cat. So Jumper did also, though hardly sanguine about it.
He found himself suspended from a hook that somehow caught the back of his neck without hurting him. He saw that Dawn was similarly hooked, and holding Sammy in her arms.
“These are not narrative hooks,” Jumper said.
“We have hooked up,” she explained. “These will transport us where we are going.”
Oh. There were still surprises in this larger realm. But as they swung along below an invisible line, proceeding rapidly across the variegated terrain of dreamland, Jumper saw that Dawn was pensive. “Is there something wrong?” he asked, concerned.
“There is,” she agreed. “Maybe you will be able to figure out a way to handle it.”
“I will try.”
“You know how these dream episodes have seemed scripted? We figured out that Demon Pluto was involved, using his minion Sharon to distract you while the men charmed our girls.”
“Including you?” he asked.
“Including me. King Belial turned out to be quite a man. I must confess I loved being with him as we seduced each other. But did you wonder why I was so eager to do it? It wasn’t just to win the key to the portal.”
“The other girls had their turns; you wanted yours.”
“Yes. But more than that, I wanted to get close to one of those men so I could use my talent to really study him, to fathom the riddle of these settings. To ascertain exactly how Pluto plans to balk us, even if we don’t get corrupted. Because I was sure it couldn’t be as simple as just charming us, or you.”
“But isn’t Belial a minor Demon too, like Sharon? So you can’t truly fathom him?”
“Yes. But I am after all a Sorceress, and my power goes beyond the ordinary. Those men may be dream emulations of living men, but that emulation enabled me to pick up some information. Being as close to 039-40892_ch01_4P.qxp 7/30/09 12:35 PM Page 196 196
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Belial as I was, for as long as I was, I was able to glean a fair amount of information. And that’s the problem.”
“You learned more? But that’s good!”
“That’s better than ignorance, yes. But not good. I learned that we have understood only the upper layer of the deception. The next layer down is worse.”
“What ever it is, we’ll tackle it together,” Jumper said. “Now that we have a fair Hope of success.”
“Maybe. The top layer was the series of lost things to be returned. That Challenge was all scripted by Pluto. The next layer will challenge our unity as a team. That may be more difficult.”
“I think I am not properly understanding you.”
“Here is what I found: those were not six different men employed by Pluto. They are Pluto.”
“Pluto himself?” Jumper said, surprised.
“Pluto himself, playing six different roles. Seducing six different girls. Including me.”
“But then—”
“We are in competition with each other for his attention. Because we are all fairly smitten with him. The nice men we have loved do not exist. The privacy we thought we had was non ex is tent. We have all been scr**ed. I am personally furious. How do you think the others will feel?”
“They’ll be spitting fire.”
“And how do we tell them?”
“I have no idea.” But he knew he would have to get an idea soon, because already the Found Cabin was coming into view ahead. 039-40892_ch01_4P.qxp 7/30/09 12:35 PM Page 197 10
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What happened?” Wenda asked. “Did yew prevail?”
“In a manner,” Dawn said. “We were able to gain Hope for the success of the mission.”
“Why do I suspect that’s not all?” Haughty asked rhetorically.
“Jumper will explain. After we leave the dream realm. How did the rest of you fare, these past two days?”
 
; “Two days?” Phanta asked. “Two hours.”
“But
we
were gone a day and a night and another day,” Dawn protested.
“In your dream,” Eve said, laughing.
Jumper exchanged a glance with Dawn. Could this be true?
“Believe it,” Maeve said. “We had some good card games, but only two hours’ worth.”
“I suppose time is different, in dreams,” Jumper said. “But we are ready to return to our waking state.”
“Then I think you won’t be needing us anymore,” Jenny said. “It has been nice knowing all of you. You really must come visit me in waking life, at Werewolf Island.”
“We’ll try to,” Olive said. “Sammy has been a big help.”
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“He always is,” Jenny agreed, picking up her cat. “Fare well, all.”
Then she and the cats faded out.
“We need to wake also,” Jumper said.
“I’ll let the ogres know,” Haughty said, and disappeared. Then Jumper thought of something. “I thought Olive was limited to one imaginary friend at a time. How could she summon Jenny, then summon others elsewhere?”
“This is a communal dream,” Olive reminded him. “The rules are more liberal. We can all do things in dreams we can’t do in real life.”
“Like wildly making out with men we hardly know,” Phanta said.
“Because we know it’s only partly real.”
Then the others started disappearing too, one by one. This time Eve was the last to go. “You spent a night with my sister? What did you do with her?”
She was surely teasing him, so he teased her back. “Nothing I wouldn’t do with you,” Jumper said. “Especially in a dream.”
“That’s entirely too much.” She hoisted her skirt, but disappeared before any panty showed. She had mistimed it, this time. That was just as well. What would she do when she learned that her centaur king was really the Demon Pluto?
Jumper found himself back in the Ogre’s Den. “You must be tired,”
Tandy said. “Maybe you should rest and sleep before you move on.”