“Sleep well, Nox?” she asked sweetly. He looked confused.
“I slept fine?” he said, and she collapsed into giggles.
“I bet you did,” Madison snorted.
“Knock it off,” Lang said sharply.
She wasn’t joking—and she wasn’t talking to Madison either. My temper flared. At Madison for bringing up where Nox had slept. And at Lang for thinking she had any reason to weigh in. But mostly, I was angry at the situation. No matter how much I wanted the opposite to be true, we were here for a reason that had nothing to do with what was happening between Nox and me. And at the same time, what was happening between Nox and me was what we were fighting for.
“I’m ready for business,” I told her, sitting down at the table. Nox sat next to me, his thigh touching mine. I let myself lean into him a little. Madison’s eyes flicked over me, but she didn’t say anything this time.
“I don’t know if you’re ready for this,” Lang said.
“The Nome King’s on his way?” Nox was suddenly very, very serious.
Lang shook her head, and for the first time, I realized that she was almost at a loss for words.
“I’ve been invited to a wedding,” she said.
“A wedding?” I wasn’t sure I’d heard her right.
“A wedding,” she repeated. “The Nome King and Dorothy are getting married.”
THIRTEEN
DOROTHY
I have to admit, Bupu’s news that my new fiancé was planning on killing me didn’t come as a total shock. But still, I was miffed. I knew I’d sensed a spark between us. And the idea of ruling our twin kingdoms together wasn’t entirely unappealing. I don’t like to share, it’s true, but I’ve also never met anyone who came as close to being my equal.
“Okay, Bupu,” I said. “What exactly did you hear? Why did the Nome King go to all this trouble to rescue me if he’s only going to kill me? That doesn’t make any sense at all.”
Bupu snuffled a little and dabbed at the corner of her eyes with her sleeve.
“The shoes,” she said miserably. “He wants mistress’s shoes.”
“I know that,” I said, rolling my eyes. “He thinks they’re his, the ninny. But he can’t have them. They’re bound to me. If he kills me, they’ll be useless.”
It occurred to me as I said this that I had no idea if it was true. Except in a way, I did. If he could get the shoes back just by offing me, I’d have been dead the minute he found me. So it was something else.
He needed to marry me to get the shoes. But why?
Something occurred to me.
“Bupu, what’s a wedding like in Ev?”
“Your wedding will be the most splendid ever seen in all of Ev,” Bupu assured me.
“Bupu, I don’t want to have a wedding if I die at it, do you understand that part?” She nodded vigorously. “So,” I said patiently. “Before the Nome King kills me, what happens exactly at a traditional Ev wedding.”
Bupu looked thoughtful. “Vows?” she offered.
I reminded myself to be patient.
“Yes, dear, I understand that. But what do the vows say? What about the ceremony? What else happens?”
Realization dawned in her eyes. “Oh! You want to know about the magic.”
“Yes, Bupu,” I said, excitement flooding through my veins. I knew it. There was something about the wedding itself. Something important that the Nome King wanted. Some part of the ceremony. “Is it something to do with my shoes?”
Bupu nodded eagerly. “Yes, the shoes! They are bound to you, mistress.”
“I know that, Bupu,” I said through gritted teeth. “But the Nome King doesn’t want me to use them. Do you know why?”
“He wants their magic back?”
“I need to know why he wants to kill me!” I shrieked, unable to control myself any longer.
“Oh,” Bupu said. “You should have said that to begin with, mistress. The shoes are bound to you, but Ev’s wedding vows are magical. All magic is shared between the spouses.”
“So I can siphon off the Nome King’s magic?” I asked. That didn’t make sense at all. Why would he risk making himself vulnerable? Bupu was already shaking her head.
“That’s not his plan, mistress. He doesn’t like to share anything. Magic can be stolen once it is bound. With blood.”
It took a second for her words to sink in. “With blood?”
She nodded, her lower lip quivering. “The king will bind his magic to yours. And then use your blood to steal it. All of it. That’s why he will try to kill you.”
A wedding followed by the traditional bloodletting reception. And I’d had my heart set on a multitiered wedding cake.
She puffed out her little chest. “But I will protect you!”
In spite of myself, I smiled. “I’m sure that will be very helpful,” I said. She beamed. “Hmmm,” I said, thinking out loud. “That’s awfully nasty magic, really. But that’s not a huge surprise either. Ev seems to be a fairly nasty place. All this slavery and cave dwelling and bad fashion.”
Bupu nodded. “Very nasty. You will take me back to Oz when you defeat the Nome King, won’t you? I could help you there, too.”
And there it was. My little seed of friendship had grown into a full bloom. The little creature wasn’t quite as stupid as she looked—and her motives weren’t entirely altruistic. Her eyes were wide and pleading, but I caught a spark of cunning, too. I wasn’t angry; I was pleased. At last there was something to this sad, shabby Munchkin.
“Is that why you’re helping me, Bupu?” I asked sweetly.
“No!” she said hastily. I raised an eyebrow. “Maybe a little,” she admitted.
“You have nothing to be ashamed of,” I told her. “Helping yourself is the most important thing of all—unless you work for me, in which case it’s helping me. But I think I can make this work out for both of us. And yes, Bupu, I’ll bring you back to Oz.”
“So I can help you there?” She brightened.
“I’ll tell you what,” I said. “If—when—we both make it back to Oz in one piece, I’ll set you free.”
She stared at me with her mouth hanging open.
“Free?” she whispered. “Free?” Her eyes filled with tears. It was a word that she clearly hadn’t let herself even dream of in a long time.
I put out my hand. A moment later, she took it, gazing up at me in bewilderment. “We’re shaking on it,” I explained, gravely shaking her wrinkly hand. “It’s a deal.”
“A deal,” she echoed. And then she squared her shoulders and stood proud and tall. “If you help me escape I will lay down my life for you, Dorothy Gale,” she said.
And do you know what? I was almost moved.
Ev was making me soft. But I couldn’t help it. I knew what it was like to be stuck in an awful place with no hope of ever getting free again—and I knew how much worse it was when you knew how beautiful the alternative could be. When I’d been stuck in Kansas a second time, with no way back to Oz . . . Well, it didn’t bear thinking about. But I knew exactly what Bupu was going through. I’d been tortured in Kansas, too. I’d suffered terrible privation. I’d wept into my pillow every night, desperate to regain what I’d lost.
Okay, so maybe it wasn’t literal torture. But the mind is the most sensitive organ. What I’d gone through in Kansas was just as bad as whipping and imprisonment.
I clapped my hands, and Bupu jumped. “Let’s get down to business,” I said. “If I’m going to thwart my own murder and get us out of here, I need to come up with a plan.”
I thought for a while.
I couldn’t deny that I was intrigued by the Nome King—even now that I knew he wanted to kill me. He just wanted his power back—and that much I could understand. It wasn’t his fault I stood in his way, although I was a little miffed he hadn’t even asked me to share. I was clever, rich, and beautiful; what ruler wouldn’t want me at his side? But the Nome King was ancient; it was no wonder his power had run down dark and ugly
paths in the centuries he’d been holed up underground, hating the outside world. And from the look of things, he and I had very different approaches to the way we cared for our kingdoms. Queendoms. Whatever.
I know a few malcontents have had complaints about the way I did things in Oz, but I’ve only ever wanted for my subjects to be happy. I’d never have enslaved any of them if they would only do what they were told. Plus, when they were miserable, I’d ordered them to follow the Happiness Decree. And when that failed to cheer them up, I’d insisted on PermaSmile. Aunt Em always used to say that no one could stay under the weather as long as they had a smile on their face.
I would never let my subjects suffer the way the Nome King did. Why, he didn’t even insist they look happy when he was around them.
I mulled over what to do next as Bupu brushed out my hair.
I didn’t want to die, obviously. Who would? But I couldn’t let go of the idea that the Nome King was missing out. On me. We were two of the most powerful people in the world, whichever world you picked. We balanced each other out perfectly: he was grumpy, mean, and lived in a cave, and I was beautiful and all my subjects loved me. Or else.
Together, the two of us would make a formidable team.
To be honest, I’d never been one of those little girls who’d fantasized about my wedding. But now that the possibility was in front of me, I was starting to have ideas. A whole entire day that was basically a holiday for me? A party where I was the star? An event that involved hundreds of people coming from all over the world to bring me presents and tell me how beautiful I looked? Who could possibly resist? And realistically, the Nome King was the most eligible bachelor I was likely to run across in Oz or Ev. There were about a million single, powerful witches running around, but the last gentleman caller I’d had was Tin.
Ugh.
No, I was simply going to have to convince the Nome King that I was more use to him alive than dead. I’d have to use every ounce of power I had to charm his pants off. (Figuratively speaking! I would never sacrifice my precious chastity before marriage, of course.)
In short, I had to make him fall in love with me.
And if that didn’t work, I had to kill him first.
I certainly had my work cut out for me, considering I was a girl locked in her room. I was going to have to take care of that right away.
I wiggled my toes experimentally and felt the shoes stir to life. I had one small advantage: the Nome King might have realized I could use magic again, but I was pretty sure he hadn’t seen that awful idiot Amy the way that I had. I was never going to forgive her for stealing my other shoes. Those were mine, and the little bitch had no right to them. But whatever she’d used them for, it was through her channeling their power that mine had been awakened. So in a way, I owed her a favor. Technically. Not that I’d ever tell her.
And if she was in Ev, it was for one of two reasons: she wanted to kill the Nome King, or she wanted to kill me.
“I just need a plan.” I frowned and chewed on one knuckle thoughtfully. “Bupu, where will the Nome King hold our nuptials, do you think?”
“Mmmm.” Bupu tocked her head back and forth, considering. “There is the Major Hall. It has not been used in many years. But it is a powerful place. Also big.” She gestured toward the ceiling with the hairbrush. “Very big.”
“Powerful?”
“Old Magic. Very dangerous.” She shivered. “Diggers,” she said. “Diggers used to sacrifice people there.”
“That’ll be the place, then,” I said cheerfully. “Good work, Bupu. How many entrances does it have?”
“Only one, mistress.”
Well, I’d just better be sure I killed him, then, if I couldn’t make him fall in love with me. A single exit from what was, I was sure, going to be a very well-guarded event? Even at the height of my powers that would have made for a tricky escape. And while my shoes seemed to be waking up again—or whatever it was they were doing—I could tell my magic was still hard to access this far from Oz. It made sense that the shoes would work here, if they’d really come from the Nome King somehow. And it made sense, too, that my own magic would work best in Oz. But if I could practice with the shoes maybe I could find a way to amplify my power.
Except that based on what had happened at that sad excuse for a banquet, the Nome King could tell if I used them.
But there was another weapon I could use against him if I had to.
Amy Gumm.
I sighed heavily.
And, right on cue, the door opened.
“Oh, hello, darling,” I cooed, jumping to my feet. Thanks to Bupu’s efforts, my hair spilled around my shoulders in glossy waves, and I was still wearing the dress I’d put on for the Nome King’s banquet. It wasn’t my best look by a long shot, but I’m an enterprising girl.
The Nome King did not look thrilled at the sight of me.
“Don’t think you can fool me, Dorothy,” he growled. All pretense of the dashing suitor was gone. His tone was threatening.
I widened my eyes and looked up at him prettily through my lashes. I’d be wasting my time playing dumb at this point. But I could still take him by surprise.
“You need me,” I purred. “So be a little nicer.”
To my satisfaction, he actually looked taken aback. And then he laughed.
“You are a prisoner in my kingdom who couldn’t use magic until an hour ago,” he said. “And I’m guessing you’re not up to full strength quite yet. I hardly think I need you.”
“I’m your guest, not your prisoner. Be respectful when you address me,” I snapped. “I’m not some dimwit glitterball like Glinda. You don’t have any idea who it is you’re trifling with. I can make you regret the day you were born, you doddering old coot.”
His face contorted into a frown. Well. That got his attention.
“I’m not trying to trick you,” I added with dignity. “Believe me, I have no idea what happened back there.” That was the truth and I made sure to look him in the eye when I said it. “And I have no idea how—or if—I could make anything like that happen again.”
So that was maybe the teensiest fib. I knew my magic was back. I just didn’t know to what extent. Or if I could even harness it fully. So it lent my little white lie the gloss of truth. He looked closely at my face and then seemed satisfied.
“When we are married, my darling, there will never be any secrets between us,” I promised, batting my eyelashes again. Other than the fact that you want to kill me, I thought. But really, over my dead body. I’d find a way to stop him come hell or high water.
“Of course not,” he said smoothly. His smile was bland and pleasant now.
He knows I’m lying, I thought. He just doesn’t know what about.
I moved quickly to distract him. “Darling, perhaps you’ll allow me to make a few . . . suggestions about the wedding,” I purred again, looping my arm through his. “Might I see the venue? And the rest of your palace? I’ve barely set foot outside these lovely rooms since you brought me here.” I refrained from adding that this was because he’d locked me in them.
He cocked his head at me. I knew he was trying to figure out what I was up to. But apparently he decided there was no harm in showing me around a little.
“As you wish,” he said gravely, bowing like a perfect gentleman and opening the door for me. I gave Bupu a wink over his shoulder. She nodded fiercely. “First, I will show you the palace. And then the cavern where our wedding will take place.”
Well, the grand tour was a grand disappointment. Just a bunch of miserable old caverns and dusty tapestries and creepy staircases that went nowhere.
Sure, some of the caves were sort of cool, if you were into that kind of thing—glowing crystals, and weird underground springs that ran into underground rivers, and tunnels that led you around in circles. Caverns that were obviously storerooms that hadn’t been touched in decades: dust-covered wooden barrels full of who knows what. Ancient weapons: spike-balled maces so heavy I c
ouldn’t lift them, huge crossbows that seemed designed for giants, cannons rusted into immobility.
The Nome King droned on about the history of his various ancestors, and, although I tuned out his sonorous voice, I was acutely conscious of the weight of his arm in mine. He hadn’t changed either. He was still dressed in his velvet suit. The material was soft and cool against my skin.
“How fascinating,” I murmured, every time he paused. At least he seemed to have relaxed.
It was as though he’d never had anyone to listen to him before. Some men were like that; let them get going, and they’d never stop. It never occurred to them to ask if anybody else wanted to talk about herself. As if I had nothing interesting to say.
Then again, maybe he was just lonely.
As he talked, I surreptitiously looked around me, trying to memorize the layout of the palace. But it was an absolute maze. Every corridor branched off into a thousand others. Every room looked like a room I’d passed already.
And everywhere, I realized, the hallways were empty.
The Nome King had his forces. His Munchkins and his Diggers and the other Nomes I’d briefly seen at the banquet. But the palace dwellers were engulfed by this enormous place, rattling around like peas in a glass jar. No wonder he needed my magic. As powerful as he was, his forces were nowhere near enough to take Oz. It all came down to him.
And that, I understood. Because at the end of the day, while I’d had armies at my disposal, Oz was all about me. It was exhilarating, having that kind of power. But it was also isolating. A huge responsibility.
The more time I spent with him, the more I realized how much alike we were. But the Nome King could have learned a thing or two from me—I had kept Tin, Scare, and the Lion around for a reason. Not just because they were useful. They were also company.
“But you must be bored with all of this,” he said suddenly, as if he’d read my mind. “Tell me about the history of Dorothy Gale.”
“You mean, how I came to rule Oz?” I asked, blinking up at him.
“No,” he said. “Your history before.”
“I prefer not to talk about that.”