"Ok," Jack said, "What song are we doing now?"
"Let’s go with a strain of I’d Do Anything for Love," Jim said, "Go ahead and hit it maestro!"
They walked under the rising gate and made their way to the office that they had absolutely no reason to be able to find other than the fact that no one bothered to tell them they couldn’t find it. The introduction to the music started and both Jim and Jack started grooving down to it. Jack decided that Jim had had enough screen time, so he would do the beginning of the song.
"And I would do anything for a plot…" Jack sang, as only a gay Jewish black dude could do, "I’ll go into this office and back…"
"I would do anything for a plot…" Jim continued, "I’ll never make it make sense and that’s a fact…"
"But I’ll never forget the lurch we’ve left you in right now," they sang together, "Oh no, no way…"
"And we’d do anything for a plot…" Jack sang, "But I won’t make sense, I won’t make sense…"
"Anything for a plot," Jim sang backup, "Oh I would do anything for a plot…"
"I would do anything for a plot!" Jack sang his heart out, "But I won’t make sense, Oh I won’t make sense!"
They both mimed the drum line as it picked up and decided that they were going to sing together for the next part. To prepare for it, they walked into the curator’s office to begin their search.
"Some days we search the ceiling," they sang, "Some days we search on the floor…"
"Some days we search through it all," they continued, "And these are the days that never end…"
"Some nights you find your bearings," they sang badly, "Some nights you find it on the wall…"
"Some nights it is stupid like nothing I’ve ever read before," They kept going, "Or hopefully ever will again…"
Jim dropped down on to the floor and made some idiotic dance moves before Jack kicked him. Jack then moved to the forefront and picked up the microphone that miraculously appeared in the middle of the curator’s office. He continued the singing.
"Maybe we’re lazy," Jack sang, "But we’re lazy and it’s true…"
"You tell them, brother," Jim agreed.
"Nobody can save me," Jack continued singing as he smacked Jim, "No one else can save me, not even you…"
Jack turned around and did a pose. Jim smacked him and did one of his own. Jack ignored him and continued singing.
"As long as there are songs worth spoofing," Jack continued, "As long as there are books we’re lampooning… As long as the word count is staying low you’d better get used to it…"
"That we would do anything for a plot," they sang together, "And there is no reason not to overact… We will do anything for a plot… And we’ll take the bottle and drink it all down…"
Jack Wack then pushed Jim Stalin out of the spotlight and started singing on his own again. Jim decided to let Jack have his moment in the sun. Jack decided to make the most of it and drank a bit of bad French wine before continuing.
"But I’ll never forgive myself if we don’t make some plot points tonight," Jack sang badly, "And I would do anything for a plot, oh I would do anything for a plot… Yes, I would do anything for a plot… But I won’t do that. No I won’t do that…"
Jim got in position with a half dozen police officers to go into the chorus properly. They started dancing around in formation and managed to sing with only a hint of a bad French accent.
"I would do anything for a plot," the group sang, "Anything you can get bored of… But I won’t do that…"
"I would do anything for a plot," the group sang, "Anything you can get bored of… But I won’t do that…"
"I would do anything for a plot," the group sang, "Anything you can get bored of… But I won’t do that…"
"Hooray for repetition," Jack chuckled, "Now let me sing again, please?"
"All yours," Jim agreed, "Now shake it like the gay Jewish black dude you are!"
"Shake it Jack," the author put in, "I’ll take the next verses."
"Some days I pray for a story, some days I pray to close a plot hole" the author sang, "Some days I just pray to the gods of stories and songs and garbage and bad jokes…"
"Ain’t that the truth," Jim agreed.
"Some nights I lose my sanity, some nights I gain plot holes," the author continued, ignoring Jim, "Some nights I just lose it all and break out into song…"
"Oh maybe I’m boring," Jim put in, "And that’s all I’m qualified to be…"
"There’s just one more hope in," Jack took over, "The only hope I can be freed to keep…"
"As long as the words are burning, as long as the count is improving," the three of them sang together, "As long as the end is coming nearer to you, you’d better believe it!"
"That I would do anything for a plot," the author put in, "And you know that it’s true that I’m a hack… I would do anything for a plot and that this book is a piece of crap…"
"But you’ll never do it better than you will for nanowrimo," Jack sang, "So long, so slow..."
"And that I’ll do anything for a plot, oh I will do anything for a plot" the author continued, "I will do anything for a plot, but no, no I won’t do that… No I won’t do that…"
"No he won’t do that…" Jim and Jack sang together, backing up the author as the fast music started.
"I would do anything for a plot," the group sang, "Anything you can get bored of… But I won’t do that…"
"I would do anything for a plot," the group sang, "Anything you can get bored of… But I won’t do that…"
"I would do anything for a plot," the group sang, "Anything you can get bored of… But I won’t do that…"
"I would do anything for a plot," the group sang, "Anything you can get bored of… But I won’t do that…"
"I would do anything for a plot," the group sang, "Anything you can get bored of… But I won’t do that…"
"I would do anything for a plot," the group sang, "Anything you can get bored of… But I won’t do that…"
"I would do anything for a plot," the group sang, "Anything you can get bored of… But I won’t do that…"
"Enough already!" Jack yelled, "That’s a damned cheap way to make up words…"
"But I’ll never stop writing you every night of this month," the author sang, "No way…"
"And we would do anything for a plot," the three of them sang, "Oh we would do anything for a plot… We would do anything for a plot… but we won’t do that, no we won’t do that…"
"Will you raise the stakes, will you make it all known, will you get me out of this godforsaken Gremlin?" Jack sang, "Will you make the jokes a little less old?"
"I can’t do that!" the author sang, "I can’t do that!"
"Will you hold my sarcasm, will you make this sound right… Can you deodorize this plot and make it smell a bit less ripe?" Jim sang, "Can you make the nipples a little more cold?"
"I can’t do that!" the author sang, "Uh, oh! I can’t do that!"
"Will you make me a boyfriend with your own two hands? Can you build a perfect man with that keyboard in your hands?" Jack sang, "Can you give me a little knight I can ride home…"
"I can’t do that!" the author sang, trying not to gag, "Uh, oh! I sure as hell can’t do that!"
"Will you cater to every stupid whim I’ve got? Will you hose Reizvolle down with cold water cause she is so hot?" Jim sang, "Will you take me places that you’ll never know?"
"I’ve already done that," the author sang, "Oh yes, I’ve already done that!"
"After a while this song gets annoying," Jack sang, "It was meant to find what we were looking for and we missed it to sing… Can’t you see that it’s time to move on?"
"I’ll consider that," the author sang, "I will consider that…"
"I know the office, I’ve been around," Jim continued singing, "It’ll turn out that we’re all in the right place and it’ll fall into my hands… And sooner or later… Oh here it is, what we’ve been look
ing for…"
"I’m glad you found that," the author sang, "So glad that you found that…"
"Anything for a plot, we would do anything for a plot," the three of them sang slowly, winding it down, "I would do anything for a plot, but I won’t do that… no I won’t do that…"