It was as if someone had dropped an icicle down my back. For a moment I couldn't move, not even to turn on her. The other students walking nearby slowed dawn to listen. Randy, who was hurrying up the hallway from the bathroom, saw the look an my face and paused as if a small explosion had gone off in the corridor. He shot forward again, practically running in my direction.
"Who told you such a stupid thing" I demanded, walking toward Ashley. She stood her ground, her smile set in her round face like a rock in whipped cream, cold and hard.
"Phoebe told everyone the story this morning. She said her father was so upset. Is your mother in jail? She said her father was seriously considering pressing charges because the stolen money was found in her coat."
"It's a filthy lie!" I screamed at her. "It wasn't in her coat. It was under it, and we all know Phoebe put the money there herself, hoping to blame my mother."
Ashley kept her smile. but I saw the way her eyes shifted to the right and looked back. Phoebe and her friends were watching from a classroom door,
"Phoebe says you need money badly because of your father's death, and her father might take pity on her and not insist she go to prison."
"Shut up!" I shouted,
Mr. Warner, our science teacher, had just stepped out of his classroom. He turned to look our way, but I didn't care.
Randy came up behind me and tried to get me to walk away, but I shrugged off his hand.
It will probably be in the newspapers anyway, so you can't pretend it didn't happen."
"I said shut up. You say anything more about that lie, and I'll rip out your tongue," I told Ashley.
"Your mother's a thief and a terrible one at that, stealing from the very people who tried to help her," she spat back at me, and all went so bright red I can't remember what happened next, especially how I had my hands entangled in Ashley's hair, pulling her down and dragging her along the corridor floor. Her screams brought more students. In seconds Mr. Warner had his hands around my waist and was trying to lift me away, but I wouldn't let go of Ashley's hair. Suddenly Mrs. Cohen. our math teacher, was there prying my fingers back and screaming at me to let go,
When I did. Mr. Warner literally lifted me off the floor and swung me around so forcefully I thought he had broken my ribs.
"To the office, young lady!" he ordered. pointing. "Now! Go on. march!"
Ashley was crying and folded up like a baby on the floor. The school nurse had been called and was hurrying down the hallway. I didn't look back. Mr. Warner had his hand on my back, pressing between my shoulder blades to be sure I kept walking,
"Move!" he kept shouting. By now everyone coming out of every classroom was watching.
"Sit." he commanded when we entered the principal's office. "And don't move a muscle, young lady."
He went to the secretary and told her what had happened in the hallway. She looked at me as he spoke, her face full of disbelief, her head wagging and her eyes widening. She buzzed the principal, Mrs. Greenstein. and Mr. Warner went into her office first. A few moments later he came to the door and told me to get myself in there immediately.
The red stain that had formed across my eyes diminished and was gone. For a moment I didn't know what I was doing in the principal's office. My rage had been that great. Then I sucked in my breath and entered the inner office. Mr. Warner closed the door behind me. and I looked at the principal. I had seen her only in the hallway and when she had spoken to the student body during the first-day assembly. She had set down the rules she considered "holy wards," and I remember thinking she was as stern and hard looking as some of the naval officers I had met.
She wasn't much taller than I was, but she had shoulders that looked as if they were packed with football player's pads. She had a small bosom, '.vide hips, and hands that looked puffed up. Whenever I had seen her in the hallway her dark eyes were always in a scowl, and she pressed her lips together so hard tiny pockets of white formed at the corners.
"Is this true? Mr. Warner had to pull you off another student forcefully? And Mrs. Cohen had to assist?"
I nodded.
"That will be all. Mr. Warner. Thank you, and I'm sorry your lunch period was disturbed," she told him.
He glared at me and walked out.
"Sit," she said, pointing her sharp nose at the chair in front of her desk. Her mouth was small, but when she grimaced her lips stretched like rubber bands from one end of her jawbone to the other.
"I am going to see how Ashley is, and then I will return. If she is seriously hurt. I will do what I said I would do at our assembly. I will involve the police. Any assault on any of my students is as serious as it would be if it happened in the street," she said.
When she left the office she kept the door wide open so anyone walking past could look in and see me sitting there. I heard Phoebe's laugh and turned in time to see her go by with two of her friends.
How would I explain this to Mommy? I felt I had let her down and at precisely the wrong time. I lowered my head like a flag of defeat and waited, my body trembling in anticipation of what was to come.
First Mrs, Greenstein's secretary returned and placed a folder on her desk. Coming and going, she barely looked at me. Ten minutes later I heard Mrs. Greenstein's high-heeled shoes clicking down the hallway, her steps like tiny drumbeats to accompany my impending execution,
"Well," I heard a few moments later, and turned as she entered her office. "You are fortunate that she is not badly hurt."
"It wasn't all my fault," I whined,
She sat behind her desk and touched the tips of her fingers together in prayer fashion. Her eyes narrowed. She looked down at the folder her secretary had put on her desk, read, and looked up at me.
"So you are the girl who was brought up on Navy bases?"
"No, not always." I said. "When I was little we didn't live on a base. It wasn't until my father became an officer."
"An officer's daughter, and you behave like this? I thought the services ran a tight ship, especially the Navy. Protocol, proper behavior, respect for authority are all essential, aren't they? Did you think that just because you were no longer living on a base you could behave like a wild animal in my school? Would your officer father be proud of you? How is he going to feel when I call him?"
I couldn't keep the tears from coming even if there was a way to plug up my eyes. They streaked down my cheeks,
"You can't call him." I said.
"Oh? And why can't I?"
"He's dead. He was killed in a helicopter accident, otherwise we would still be in Norfolk," I said, directing my anger against cruel fate,
"I see." she said, barely skipping a beat, "That is unfortunate,. However, it is also more reason for you to behave yourself and not put another burden on your mother."
"You don't understand," I said, shaking my head.
"Oh. I don't understand? It's I who is at fault, is that it?"
"No. ma'am. I don't mean that."
She slapped the folder closed and sat back, "Well, what do you mean? Go on, explain your beastly behavior," she challenged.
I thought about how I would start. Everything seemed so silly and foolish. I was sure I would sound that way, but what choice did I have?
"We moved here because my mother's friend was giving her a job at her husband's and her restaurant. the Tremont Inn. Her friend's stepdaughter. Phoebe Tremont, doesn't like me and tried to make it look as if my mother stale money last night. Ashley screamed that my mother was a thief and was in jail. I told her to stop, but she wouldn't, and I lost my temper." I finished, gasping for a breath,
Mrs. Greenstein stared at me a long moment and then shook her head. "Did you invent this all yourself, or did you see it on some soap opera?"
"I wish it was all fiction," I muttered.
"What's that?"
"I said I wish it was invented, but unfortunately it's not." I told her firmly, too firmly because she snapped her back like a whip and brought those heavy shoulders up.
"I won't have violence in my school. We have a no tolerance policy for that. for knives or guns and especially any sort of drugs. The first violation is the last. You are suspended pending a frill inquiry and possible expulsion from this institution. Get your things and leave the building immediately," she ordered. "I will call your mother and inform her you are on your way, so don't go somewhere else and try to lie to her about what's going on, as some of my students have tried."
"It's not fair!" I wailed,
You knew the rules. You heard them along with the rest of the student body." She leaned forward. "I am someone who means what she says. You, who have lived in a military world, should appreciate that."
"But..."
"I think you should write a letter of apology to both Mr. Warner and Mrs. Cohen as well," she added. "That is all." She stood up to emphasize it.
I rose slowly. What have I done? What will happen to us?
The bell had already rung for the next class. The halls were empty.
The principal's secretary handed me my books. "Randy Walker brought them here," she explained. "They were scattered all over the corridor."
I took them, thanked her, and left the office, moving like someone under hypnosis. I just turned and walked out of the building through the nearest exit. I didn't remember the trip home. I was on a bus and then off, and I walked, and suddenly my eves snapped with brightness and I was at my front door. My heart was pounding when I entered,
Mommy, who usually slept later because of her work schedule, was up and in her robe. She was standing at the counter in the kitchen, her hands cupping a mug of steaming black coffee. I knew she heard me came in, but she remained with her back to me until I said. "Mommy."
Then she turned slowly. Her face was pale, her eyes red, her hair as disheveled as it would be had she been scrubbing her scalp to stop the pain.
"How could you do such a thing. Grace? I don't understand." she said.
Through my sobs. I told her everything, "I couldn't help it. I just got so angry at her. Afterward I was frightened by my own actions. It was like I was two different people!"
"How horrible for you," Mommy said, slowly shaking her head. "What have I done? I should have stayed in Virginia and left you where you were going to the same school. You were making new friends, nice friends. I was just thinking of myself, how painful it was for me."
"No, Mommy. This is in no way your fault. It's that Phoebe Tremont. She's just so mean and hates me so much she would do anything to hurt me."
"How could anyone hate you and so quickly?" she asked. She took a deep breath, "All right, well deal with it," she said. "If there was one thing your father taught me it was to stay calm in the midst of a crisis, take a breath, and not lose control of your thoughts and reason. Most of the time people defeat themselves. You shouldn't have resorted to violence, of course, but you were deliberately baited. We have a meeting with the principal tomorrow at eight." "But you have to work and get up so early" "It's nothing,"
She sighed deeply, so deeply I sensed there was something else wrong.
"Are you sick. Mommy?"
"What? No. Well, maybe emotionally. I just saw Mr. Landers, the supervisor of the complex. He was giving the gardeners instructions. He told me about Mrs. Dorahush,"
"What?" I asked, holding my breath.
"She passed away late last night."
"Oh, no, Where's Augustus?" I asked
immediately.
"I don't know, honey."
"I'd better go see him. He has no one." I said.
Before she could say anything else. I charged through the condo to the patio door and ran across the lawn and the street to his unit. The windows were dark. I knocked on the patio door and waited. He didn't come. I peered in. but I didn't see him. I knocked again and called to him. When he didn't come I went around to the windows I knew to be the windows in his room and peered in.
"What are you doing?" I heard, and turned to see Mr. Landers. He was a short, stout man with thin gray hair. I had seen him from time to time. He barely acknowledged me with a nod, almost seeming distracted or perhaps not interested in knowing any of the young people who lived there.
"I'm looking for Augustus," I said. "I heard about his grandmother."
"He's not there." He scratched his head. "They brought him in a government car, and he went in to get some papers and then left."
"Left? To go where?"
He shook his head. "All I know is someone will be coming to organize what's in the house and move it out."
"But... where will Augustus live?"
He shrugged. 'I don't know, miss. That's all I know. He was a weird kid anyway," he said. "He made some of the other residents nervous."
"That's because they don't understand him. He's a genius!" I cried.
He grinned. "Right. A genius," he said, and walked off to shout at one of the gardeners.
I walked home and told Mommy what he had said.
"How sad," she said. "Just when you think your life is miserable, you meet someone worse off. Like my grandmother used to say. 'A man complained all the time because he had no shoes. Until he met a man who had no feet.'"
"Can't we find out what happened to him. Mommy?"
"Maybe. I'll try, honey," she promised.
I went to my room. All that had happened had exhausted me. I closed my eyes as soon as I lay down, and in seconds I was asleep. The ringing of the phone woke me. It was Randy.
"I... I he... heard what ha... happened to you." he said.
"We have a meeting with the principal tomorrow morning."
"I... tr... tried to stop you."
"I know. It was my own fault. I let them bait me. I'm sure Phoebe is a very happy person." His silence assured me she was. "My mother says. 'What goes around comes around. Don't worry. She'll get hers someday.'"
"Good," he said.
"Don't you get into any trouble on my account," I warned. "I'll see you tomorrow."
"Okay," he said, his voice so tiny and thin.
Mommy left for work, and despite her brave face I could see the anxiety in her eyes. She called me from the restaurant and told me she and Dallas had a private conversation, and Dallas was going to speak to Warren about Phoebe. I tried to eat but pecked at my food and finally gave up on dinner.
When the phone rang again I was sure it was Randy, but it wasn't. It was Augustus.
"Where are you?" I practically screamed into the receiver, so happy to hear from him.
"It doesn't matter." he replied. "You heard about Mrs. Dorahush, I guess."
"I heard about your grandmother." I said.
He was silent a moment. "Yes, my
grandmother."
"I'm so sorry. Augustus. I know how much she meant to you and how much you meant to her." I added.
"Yes. Well, she's returned to a pure state of energy. As you know. I am working on that. I expect to meet her again very soon."
"What do you mean? How?"
"Disappearing."
"You're not going to hurt yourself, are you?" I asked, frightened by his tone of voice. He sounded so far off, as if he had begun to disappear already.
"No, no, just the opposite. Don't worry. They're sending me to New Mexico to a top-secret facility, something known as pure research. I'll have whatever I need. and I'll be with other people like me, but I'll miss you." he said.
"Can't you write or call me?"
"No. I can't do anything to keep myself from disappearing. I can't hold on to this level of existence."
"I don't understand what you're saying, Augustus."
It's all right. I just wanted to say goodbye and to thank You again for being so nice to me. Take care of Queenie and Quackie," he said, and hung up.
Of course, none of it made any sense to me. I had known so many people for a short time, but somehow I thought I might get to know Augustus better, I had wanted that, and now that chance was gone. Would I ever get to know anyone well? It made me afraid of even trying. Mommy h
ad told me love was an investment. It meant taking risks, Would I ever even get the opportunity to take a risk?
I cleaned up the dishes and straightened up the kitchen, Afterward I sat in my room and went through all my dolls, recalling each and every one. where Daddy had found them, and how excited I had been to receive them. I fell asleep with a teddy bear from England in my arms and this time didn't wake when Mommy came home.
She was up before me the next morning and already dressed. I kept apologizing for putting her through this ordeal, but she had become steely-eyed and determined.
"We're not going to be victims all our lives. Grace. I wasn't brought up that way or to accept it as inevitable. You come from a long line of resilient people." she assured me.
On the way to the school I told her about my short, strange conversation with Augustus.
"Every one of us has a destiny to fulfill. I guess," she said. "He was either blessed or cursed with his. We'll probably read about him someday after he invents something fantastic. Don't worry about him now. Grace. Your shoulders are too small to carry too many burdens. You have enough with your own."
Mrs. Greenstein made us wait in the outer office after we arrived, even though we arrived on time. Her secretary offered Mommy coffee, but she refused. Twenty minutes after our appointment time. Mommy went to the secretary's desk and told her in clear, firm language to inform Mrs. Greenstein that her time was just as important.
"If eight o'clock wasn't a good time to schedule this meeting, why was it scheduled for then?"
The secretary flitted about and went into Mrs. Greenstein's office. When she emerged she left the door open. and Mrs. Greenstein appeared.
"I'm sorry to have kept you waiting. but I had some rather important phone business to clear with a much higher priority than a student's misbehavior, and that took longer than I had anticipated. Come in." she said.
Mommy and I entered, and Mrs. Greenstein closed the door. There were two chairs in front of her desk now. She asked Mommy to sit and just nodded at me.
"I hope you understand the significance of all this," she began. "Violence has become all too common a thing in our schools today, and we have to be vigilant about preventing it."