(Not arranged alphabetically)
Ebangish-Egangish-Edangish
(Language) In the year 2050, Ebangish-Egangish-Edangish has become spoken throughout the land and for a combination of great reasons, including the Open Borders Bill of Rights. Ebangish-Egangish-Edangish is also referred to as Ebongo-Edongo, at one person’s request and is a combination of over twenty-five variations of the original English language, including Latino-American, African-American, New Yorker, Bostonian, Eskimo-American, Chinese-American, Appalachian-Hillbilly and Southern White Trash vernacular; also referred to by the other dialect speaking communities as “Redneck” vernacular, to mention just a few.
The origins of Ebangish-Egangish-Edangish are generally thought to have been communities where there was no defined syntactical structure in written or verbal communications. Due to cultural variations, those blessed neighborhoods created an environment where a firm grasp of English was not only unimportant, it was downright ludicrous to use in view of the reality that the local, law enforcement could comprehend that jargon. What resulted were vast variations of colloquialisms, word fabrications and word shortenings designed to confuse and confound those who were not part of the same gangs. What evolved was a marvelously glorious language that completely lacked the need for verb conjugation, i.e. “I be,” "she be," "thems be,” a near total mixing of pronouns and provided the caveat of combining two expressions into one on the fly. Its popularity grew because neighbors wanted to look, speak and act as ridiculous as their neighbors...and keep the police in the dark.
Ebangish-Egangish-Edangish thrives across the land. If there were a problem, it is that communities were making up new expressions faster than anyone could keep track, presenting problems for anyone who traveled outside their local area.
Ebangish-Egangish-Edangish transcends race and gender and opens up new opportunities for those fluent in the versatile, admirable language, while erasing the old bigoted stereotypes of citizens who were “stupid” and “lazy.” Ebangish-Egangish-Edangish is a great language and while not universally understood abroad, or in different parts of the republic, turns out that was all right...nobody was traveling abroad these days; instead everyone was having fun just sitting around all day dreaming up new expressions and terms to use to talk to one another. Source: the Novelist
Ebongo-Edongo
(Language) New name for Ebangish-Egangish-Edangish, created by one of the principle players in the novel referred to as ‘the reader’ and “YOU.”
Source: ‘the reader’ and “YOU”
Assclown
(Noun) Anyone, who, through the fault of the parents giving birth, is a skid mark in society's collective underwear. A person who is laughable and detestable at the same time and usually pretends to be a know-it-all, often embellishing their stories, knowledge, experience and everything in between with pure horse cac. Also, a person who knows absolutely zilch about their job, or trade, but can tell everyone else how to do it better.
Source: Urban Dictionary
Assclownery
(Verb) An act, or series of acts, performed by an assclown that would appear absolutely ridiculous to any non-assclown. An assclown which commits assclownery at an above average level is known as a goofnad.
Source: Urban Dictionary
Appalachian vernacular Ebangish-Egangish-Edangish
(Language) Appalachian vernacular Ebangish-Egangish-Edangish, or as some call it, “Hillbilly English,” is one of the oldest variations of the Ebangish-Egangish-Edangish dating back to early colonial times. The mountain clans who use Appalachian vernacular are referred to as “Hillbillies” by tribes using one of the other twenty-four tongues. It is a localism that had seen its best days during Prohibition when moonshine accounted for half of the employment opportunities in an area that became the birthplace of the national, hayseed, car racing industry: NASCAR.
Like many variations of the Ebangish-Egangish-Edangish, Appalachian vernacular is there to confuse Five-O (the police), namely the “revenuers,” and until recently, was a dialect on the decline. That has since changed, however, due to recent upsurge in Federal Taxes on liquor leading some experts to conclude Appalachian vernacular will see a resurgence in popularity amongst indigenous mountain folk.
Appalachian vernacular allows Hillbillies to connect with their roots through language; it is a language that is celebrated, enjoyed and spoken intentionally by all Hillbillies, in view of the reality that it is easy on the tongue, fun, creative, saves time and is not understood by most revenuers.
Source: the Novelist
Asshat
(Noun) A general term for someone who carries out actions with such stupidity and moronicism that they might as well wear their ass as a hat. The person can be of either gender, displays behaviors such as ignorance, arrogance, moroness and obnoxiousness, so much so most normal people would like to make them wear their own ass as a hat. Best summed up as someone who has their head up their ass, thus wearing their ass as a hat.
Source: Urban Dictionary
Asshatic
(Adjective) The state of being an asshat.
Source: Urban Dictionary
Asshatious
(Adjective) An act which typifies the behavior of an asshat.
Source: Urban Dictionary
African American vernacular Ebangish-Egangish-Edangish
(Language) African American vernacular used to be the most widely used patter outside English before it was superseded by the Latin variety following the Open Borders Bill of Rights of 2020. African American vernacular represents the struggle, pain, intelligence, love, mercy, understanding, survival, resistance and enjoyment behind the African-American culture. Once known as “Ebonics,” African American vernacular still represents the basis for communications among the major centers of African American culture, including Harlem, Oakland, Atlanta, Detroit, Philadelphia, Washington, D.C., Chicago and in some part of every major metropolitan area above the 38th Parallel.
African American vernacular represents that warm place in the hearts of many African Americans when they think about their ancestors who could not speak nor fathom English, nevertheless, struggled to speak a language they were not taught formally for hundreds of years. African American vernacular allows African Americans to connect with their ancestors through language. It is a language that is celebrated, enjoyed and spoken intentionally by all African Americans, owing to the reality that it is easy on the tongue, fun, creative and saves time.
Source: the Novelist
Bostonian vernacular Ebangish-Egangish-Edangish
(Language) Bostonian vernacular Ebangish-Egangish-Edangish, or as some call it, “Pilgrim English,” is one of the oldest variations of the Ebangish-Egangish-Edangish. Bostonian vernacular is a dialect that has seen better days, mostly during the heydays of Harvard, MIT, Boston University, before the faculty picked up their bags and moved to France.
Unlike many variations of the Ebangish-Egangish-Edangish, Bostonian vernacular is not there to confuse Five-O (law enforcement officials), instead, it is there to enable clan members who speak Bostonian vernacular to sound as if they were more scholarly than everyone else.
With the disappearance of the Ivy League universities, Bostonian vernacular is a further one of those tongues from the Northeast that is now on the decline. A consensus of experts believe Bostonian vernacular will not see a resurgence in popularity and will eventually succumb to one of the more popular localisms.
Bostonian vernacular still allows those left behind to reconnect to the good old days; it is a language that is celebrated, enjoyed and spoken intentionally by all Bostonians, in view of the reality that it is NOT easy on the tongue, NOT fun, NOT creative and does NOT save time.
Source: the Novelist
Dipptard
(Noun) An insane person from the future and play on the words “dip” like in “dip-schiessen” and “tard” short for retard...dip-schiessen retard.
Source: Urban Dictionary
&nbs
p; Ficken
(Noun) German word for ficken, fickening, ficken’er(s), ficken’ed, et cetera, et cetera.
Source: German Dictionary of Europe
Goofnad
(Noun) Liberal goofballs, “Goof” short for goofy, “nad(s)” an abbreviation for “gonad(s).” Translation: “goofy nut(s).
Source: Urban Dictionary
Latino American vernacular Ebangish-Egangish-Edangish
(Language) Latino American vernacular Ebangish-Egangish-Edangish became the most widely used English slang superseding the African American dialect following the Open Borders Bill of Rights in 2020. Latino American vernacular represents the struggle, pain, intelligence, love, mercy, understanding, survival, resistance and enjoyment behind the Latino-American culture. Once known by a number of terms including “Spanglish,” “jailhouse chatter” and “amigoish,” Latino American vernacular represents the basis for communications among the major centers of Latino-American culture including anything in Texas, Arizona and Florida and just about every midwestern city below the 38th Parallel.
Latino American vernacular represents that warm place in the hearts of many Latino-Americans when they think about their ancestors, those who could not come to America legally, nor had plans to learn English as anything except a most important language and struggled instead to bring their families; including, but not limited to both the husband’s, or wife’s grandparents, a husband’s, or wife’s parents, a wife, or husband, a daughter, or daughters, a son, or sons, a family pet, or pets; the first-cousin’s wife’s, or husband’s grandparents, a first-cousin’s husband’s, or wife’s parents, a first-cousins’ wife, or husband, daughter, or daughters, a son, or sons, their family pet, or pets; the second-cousins...the third-cousins....so on and so forth.
Latino American vernacular allows Latino-Americans to connect with their roots through language; it is a language that is celebrated, enjoyed and spoken intentionally by all Latino-Americans, owing to the reality that it is easy on the tongue, fun, creative and saves time.
Source: the Novelist
Moonbat
(Noun) Derogatory term for an activist and an irrational, mentally unstable lunatic of a pronouncedly liberal political affiliation. Someone who is on the extreme edge of whatever their “ism” happens to be: illusionism, nihilism, feminism, socialism, immoralism, communism, collectivism, absurdism, liberalism. Evocative for lunatic fringe, the phrase began as a disparaging slur against the ‘Far Left’; however, due increasing polarization within the nation the term has come to denote virtually anyone with a "liberal agenda."
Source: Urban Dictionary
Moonbickie
(Noun) Irish term for a lunatic.
Source: Urban Dictionary
Moon Beam (Jerry M. Beam)
(Person) A former assclownious California Governor. Moon Beam’s parents, when on a bad acid trip, came up with a great name for their son: Moon Beam. Later, much later, years later, after having received much ridicule and abuse for their brainlessness, Moon Beam’s parents gave him a normal name, at least his first name: Jerry...Jerry Moon Beam.
Source: the Novelist.
New Yorker vernacular Ebangish-Egangish-Edangish
(Language) New Yorker vernacular Ebangish-Egangish-Edangish, or as some call it, “Ficken English,” on its own, is said to account for twenty of the twenty-five variations of Ebangish-Egangish-Edangish thanks to its history as the “Gateway to America.”
New Yorker vernacular is patter that is best known for its rapid delivery, in-your-face style and colorful use of four-letter words...with “ficken” the most popular. New York provided the people with the first glimpse of what lay ahead, followed closely by California. New York was in effect a microcosm of what the entire country would eventually become. Outside California, New York remains one of the most expensive regions to live...if you worked. Most experts agree stress is a contributing factor for the hyperactivity one sees in daily New Yorker’s speech patterns.
Unlike many variations of the Ebangish-Egangish-Edangish, New Yorker vernacular is NOT there to confuse Five-O (the sheriff's department); instead, it is there to enable residents to take advantage of the naive and lame, namely immigrants and vacationers who once arrived in the tens of thousands every year, but with the disappearance of both, the various cultures have begun turning on themselves...if you want to see some major rioting, this is the place to go.
A consensus of experts believe New Yorker vernacular will see the number of variations of slang currently making it up decline as smaller localisms fall prey to the larger localisms who will eventually come to dominate the city.
New Yorker vernacular still allows those who remember the good old days of cheating tourists and immigrants to reconnect with the good old days. It is a language that is celebrated, enjoyed and spoken intentionally by all New Yorkers, in view of the reality that it is easy on the tongue in most districts, somewhat fun, not at all creative, more than a little rude, but does save time for those caught up in the rat race of everyday New York City life.
Source: the Novelist
Schiessen
(Noun) Swiss for “shit.” (pronounced shy-zuh)
Source: German Dictionary
Slut Chops
(Noun) A woman who is in all likelihood a prostitute whose expertise apparently surrounds blow jobs. “Slut” means exactly the same as “slut” in most varieties of EEE. “Chops” means mouth.
Source: Urban Dictionary
Smash
(Noun) A sexual-intercourse encounter.
Source: Urban Dictionary
Smash Action
(Verb) Having a sexual-intercourse encounter.
Source: Urban Dictionary
About the Author
Former software guy turned fiction writer, Frank graduated in the late seventies and went to work for NCR in minicomputer sales, then moved into personal computers where he remained for the next ten years. In the early nineties the author left the hardware side of the business for software. Two decades later Frank wound up in Seattle as a sales executive for software developer, WRQ. Shortly after the ‘dot.com’ bubble burst, Frank with his wife and infant daughter returned to Florida. Besides typing away on a Macbook Air, Frank spends his time as the family chauffeur, gofer and biggest fan of both daughter and wife.
Frank’s writing style reflects his business experience and traditionalist outlook on life. Frank writes to a niche of like-minded readers who need an outlet for escaping today’s really great times. The topics and plots are intended to be provocative, in some cases humorous, wishful and thought provoking.
Other Books
Visit my website to discover (listed below) other books by yours truly.
https://fbthompson3.com
LIARS - the News Industry
A novel that seeks to alert the ill informed to the existence of the real puppet masters behind the scenes, those pulling the strings, those moving the country further and further to the left - through fiction!
Connect with Author
Personal blog: https://www.fbthompson3.com
Twitter page: https://twitter.com/fbthompson3
Satire blog: https://idiocracy.me
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