Page 7 of The Black Book


  Captain Limerick looked up after the retreating chopper. "What the hell was that?" He asked the mayor.

  The mayor tried to spit, but was obviously some years out of practice. "I'm not sure, but I suppose we're about to grow some, or die. It tastes like shit though. I can tell you that."

  On the hillside high above the concert goers and the guardsmen, Doc sat in his trailer watching the proceedings on his monitors. He was dressed in a surplus hazardous waste cleanup suit made from white material with a clear plastic visor. An air purification unit purred at his side blowing a fresh breeze against his face. Around him, M and the others stood in similar garb. They watched as the guardsmen milled around their formation and the crop duster disappeared in the distance.

  Meyer was agitated and uncomfortable. "M. Aren't you worried that those boys will suffer flashbacks or other ill effects?"

  "Not really Meyer. It isn't exactly like it is portrayed in the government propaganda films."

  "Hey," Doc said. "Did you see Reefer Madness? It was a damn classic."

  "No," Meyer said. "I didn't. I'm just worried about those boys. They haven't done anything to deserve this."

  Angel put her arm over Meyer's shoulder and gave him a hug. "Don't worry. They'll be fine. If you want something to worry about, you might try worrying about those girls down there. It looks to me like some of the guys are feeling a bit amorous."

  "Yup!" Doc said with a smile. "And, it wouldn't surprise me if the army's 'Don't ask, don't tell' policy became a casualty tonight. Some of those soldiers are looking awfully friendly."

  "What do you see at the main lodge?"

  Doc turned back to his monitors. "Well, my infrared can't make it through those log walls, or I could tell you exactly who was where. But, from what I can see through their window slits, and from the parabolic mikes, they won't be much of a threat. One of the women is hallucinating about a mustache that seems to be growing out of her palm. And the head honcho is trying to figure out how his logs could turn colors and melt. Other than that, things are pretty quiet, except for Berg. He's trying to sweet-talk the dog."

  By the time the sun had gone down and night folded over the little valley, things had deteriorated badly. The guardsmen were no longer interested in following any kind of orders. That didn't really matter, because the Captain wasn't in any shape to give them. In fact, he was pursuing a budding romance with one of the naked girls.

  Everyone from the main lodge had finally joined the crowd in the meadow. Berg and the mayor were sitting together staring at the stars in the clear night sky. Doc had turned the bomb off long enough for the two waking guards to crawl away. His speakers were now blasting out Dead songs. Jerry Garcia was making his way through "Ripple."

  "Ripple in still water,

  when there is no pebble tossed,

  nor wind to blow."

  "Bout time for the main event bro." Doc said turning to M. "I can hear them coming up the valley."

  "Ok. Give Luke Skywalker a call."

  A few minutes later, the sound system faded from thought. Over the ridge on the far side of the valley, a huge flying saucer came into view. Colored panels on the side of the UFO blasted down in synch with atonal organ chords. A strong wind blew at the crowd, and Doc's speakers roared like a windstorm from hell. As the saucer came to a halt over the crowd below, a blinding light shot down from above. Torrents of light assaulted the crowd from the sides of the meadow. And, as they stood in awe, beings in pressurized suits moved forward into the crowd.

  There was no resistance as the alien forms strapped small silver boxes on the skinheads in the crowd, and led them away. As they reached the bright lights, the boxes made a small sound, and the skinheads fell to the ground. The alien beings took them behind the blinding lights, where they disappeared.

  Angel watched the scene from high on the hillside. She was speechless. As quickly as it had come, the UFO slipped back over the far ridgeline and disappeared into the distance. For a moment, the ground shook, and then there was silence. After a moment, Doc's speakers cut softly through the night with a soft ballad. The crowd below wasn't at all sure what had just happened.

  M stepped to Angel's side and looked back at the trailer. "Time to move Will."

  When Will joined them, carrying a long pair of bolt cutters, they helped Angel move carefully down the hill. Not that the hillside was that steep, but as they walked, the heavens opened above them creating one hell of a distraction. God had finally returned to earth. With the Mormon Tabernacle Choir singing hosannas in the background, an angry deity spoke from above; Doc's animated laser light show was now playing.

  "I am the light..

  Behold! I am the way..

  Follow not the path of

  darkness..

  Each head will bow..

  Know ye that I have come!"

  There were no guards left at the bunker. Getting inside was the easy part. What they found inside was the hard part. There was no room for him to sit up in the tiger cage. They found him on his side in the fetal position. He was bruised, dirty, scabbed, bearded, and thin as a rail. He recoiled from the flashlight, covering his eyes. They gently placed him on a stretcher, and carried him back up the hill.

  Chapter 15

  They called ahead, and had the Busted Flush moved back to Bahai Mar. A week had passed since the night of McGee's rescue. He was laid out on his big round bed, feeling worse for wear, and not looking much better. Meyer and Sue sat stretched out on the big sofa in the houseboat, sipping a farewell drink with M and Angel. On the table in front of them was her father's book. M had recovered it from the main lodge.

  Meyer looked thoughtfully across the lounge. "There are a few things I still don't understand M."

  "What can I tell you?"

  "For starters, tell me how you arranged for a flying saucer."

  "Easy. I leased it from the Los Angeles Olympic Committee. Anything else?"

  "Yes. What happened to the skinheads that were abducted?"

  "Well. Two of them showed up in a bordello in Tijuana. They claim to have been abducted by aliens. Another pair was found sleeping in a window display at Macy's in Chicago. They say they don't know how they got there. Then, there were half a dozen who woke up naked in front of the Crystal Cathedral in LA. Nobody seems to care why."

  Angel laughed. "I'm curious too. Were there any casualties from that night?"

  "That would depend on how you define casualty. I understand there were no less than twenty religious conversions. Then, when the FBI showed up two days later to investigate, they arrested Berg and the mayor."

  "Were they caught indelicto?"

  "No. They weren't doing anything wrong. They were just the only ones left to arrest. It seems that the Feebs were upset. They sent a crime scene unit up to where Doc had his trailer parked to gather evidence. You know… a strand of hair, DNA from a cigarette butt, that sort of thing. Well, when they got up there, one of them walked through a trip wire. Ninety thousand pounds of brown fecal matter were then expelled under great force from an abandoned mineshaft behind the site. Covered the investigators and about everything else with four inches of pig shit. Kind of cut their investigation short."

  "Where is Doc now?"

  "I believe he took a week off to go fishing."

  "What will you do now M?"

  "Me? Well, I'll head back out West. I've re-stocked Trav's hiddie-hole with cash. Doesn't seem to be much more need for my services. How about you Angel, are you headed back?"

  She blushed. "No M. I have a patient to care for. It might take a long time to make him whole again."

  Sue stood up then and stretched. "Well, if anyone cares, I'm going with M. Anywhere he goes I'm going."

  "Whoa! Wait a minute there young lady."

  Angel cut him short. "Don't argue with her M. She's exactly what you need."

  Meyer smiled "Yeah."

  "Well shoot. I'm old enough to be your father."
>
  "Good. Maybe you'll have some interesting things to teach me. When I talked to Doc on the phone, he said you were wild about Yak butter and rubber sheets."

  "Don't talk that way. It isn't lady like."

  "Sure, you and my analyst. I suppose you'll have issues with my fixation on oral sex too?"

  "God!" M said raising his face to the heavens, "What have I done to deserve this?"

  "Do I need to get my pistol out?"

  Meyer chuckled at them. "Admit it when you are overpowered M. Just go with the flow. But, before you two leave, I would like to know what was in your father's book Sue."

  "Sure. Take a look at it."

  Meyer opened the first pages, expecting to find notes about criminal activity. What he saw instead were pages covered with poetry.

  To Sue: Some of my favorite poems

  "For in and out,

  above, about, below

  tis nothing but a magic shadow show

  played in a box

  who's candle is the sun

  round which we phantom figures come and go

  From the Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam

  The author can be contacted at [email protected]

 
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