stick to's text; and every now and then he flounders about like a sheep as has 
   cast itself, and can't get on'ts legs again. You wouldn't like that, Mrs Patten, 
   if you was to go to church now?"
   "Eh, dear," said Mrs Patten, falling back in her chair, and lifting up her 
   little withered hands, "what 'ud Mr Gilfil say, if he was worthy to know the 
   changes as have come about i' the church these last ten years? I don't 
   understand these new sort o' doctrines. When Mr Barton comes to see me, he talks 
   about nothing but my sins and my need o' marcy. Now, Mr Hackit, I've never been 
   a sinner. From the fust beginning, when I went into service, I al'ys did my duty 
   by my emplyers. I was a good wife as any's in the county?never aggravated my 
   husband. The cheese-factor used to say my cheese was al'ys to be depended on. 
   I've known women, as their cheeses swelled a shame to be seen, when their 
   husbands had counted on the cheese-money to make up their rent; and yet they'd 
   three gowns to my one. If I'm not to be saved, I know a many as are in a bad 
   way. But it's well for me as I can't go to church any longer, for if th' old 
   singers are to be done away with, there'll be nothing left as it was in Mr 
   Patten's time; and what's more, I hear you've settled to pull the church down 
   and build it up new?"
   Now the fact was that the Rev. Amos Barton, on his last visit to Mrs Patten, had 
   urged her to enlarge her promised subscription of twenty pounds, representing to 
   her that she was only a steward of her riches, and that she could not spend them 
   more for the glory of God than by giving a heavy subscription towards the 
   rebuilding of Shepperton church?a practical precept which was not likely to 
   smooth the way to her acceptance of his theological doctrine. Mr Hackit, who had 
   more doctrinal enlightenment than Mrs Patten, had been a little shocked by the 
   heathenism of her speech, and was glad of the new turn given to the subject by 
   this question, addressed to him as churchwarden and an authority in all 
   parochial matters.
   "Ah," he answered, "the parson's boddered us into it at last, and we're to begin 
   pulling down this spring. But we haven't got money enough yet. I was for waiting 
   till we'd made up the sum, and, for my part, I think the congregation's fell off 
   o' late; though Mr Barton says that's because there's been no room for the 
   people when they've come. You see, the congregation got so large in Parry's 
   time, the people stood in th' aisles; but there's never any crowd now, as I can 
   see."
   "Well," said Mrs Hackit, whose good-nature began to act now that it was a little 
   in contradiction with the dominant tone of the conversation, "I like Mr Barton. 
   I think he's a good sort o' man, for all he's not overburthen'd i' th' upper 
   story; and his wife's as nice a lady-like woman as I'd wish to see. How nice she 
   keeps her children! and little enough money to do't with; and a delicate 
   creatur'?six children, and another a-coming. I don't know how they make both 
   ends meet, I'm sure, now her aunt has left 'em. But I sent 'em a cheese and a 
   sack o' potatoes last week; that's something towards filling the little mouths."
   "Ah!" said Mr Hackit, "and my wife makes Mr Barton a good stiff glass o' 
   brandy-and-water, when he comes in to supper after his cottage preaching. The 
   parson likes it; it puts a bit o' colour into 's face, and makes him look a deal 
   handsomer."
   This allusion to brandy-and-water suggested to Miss Gibbs the introduction of 
   the liquor decanters, now that the tea was cleared away; for in bucolic society 
   five-and-twenty years ago, the human animal of the male sex was understood to be 
   perpetually athirst, and "something to drink" was as necessary a "condition of 
   thought" as Time and Space.
   "Now, that cottage preaching," said Mr Pilgrim, mixing himself a strong glass of 
   'cold without,' "I was talking about it to our Parson Ely the other day, and he 
   doesn't approve of it at all. He said it did as much harm as good to give a too 
   familiar aspect to religious teaching. That was what Ely said?it does as much 
   harm as good to give a too familiar aspect to religious teaching."
   Mr Pilgrim generally spoke with an intermittent kind of splutter; indeed, one of 
   his patients had observed that it was a pity such a clever man had a "'pediment" 
   in his speech. But when he came to what he conceived the pith of his argument or 
   the point of his joke, he mouthed out his words with slow emphasis; as a hen, 
   when advertising her accouchement, passes at irregular intervals from pianissimo 
   semiquavers to fortissimo crotchets. He thought this speech of Mr Ely's 
   particularly metaphysical and profound, and the more decisive of the question 
   because it was a generality which represented no particulars to his mind.
   "Well, I don't know about that," said Mrs Hackit, who had always the courage of 
   her opinion, "but I know, some of our labourers and stockingers as used never to 
   come to church, come to the cottage, and that's better than never hearing 
   anything good from week's end to week's end. And there's that Track Society as 
   Mr Barton has begun ?I've seen more o' the poor people with going tracking, than 
   all the time I've lived in the parish before. And there'd need be something done 
   among 'em; for the drinking at them Benefit Clubs is shameful. There's hardly a 
   steady man or steady woman either, but what's a dissenter."
   During this speech of Mrs Hackit's, Mr Pilgrim had emitted a succession of 
   little snorts, something like the treble grunts of a guinea-pig, which were 
   always with him the sign of suppressed disapproval. But he never contradicted 
   Mrs Hackit ?a woman whose "pot luck" was always to be relied on, and who on her 
   side had unlimited reliance on bleeding, blistering, and draughts.
   Mrs Patten, however, felt equal disapprobation, and had no reasons for 
   suppressing it.
   "Well," she remarked, "I've heared of no good from interfering with one's 
   neighbours, poor or rich. And I hate the sight o' women going about trapesing 
   from house to house in all weathers, wet or dry, and coming in with their 
   petticoats dagged and their shoes all over mud. Janet wanted to join in the 
   tracking, but I told her I'd have nobody tracking out o' my house; when I'm 
   gone, she may do as she likes. I never dagged my petticoats in my life, and I've 
   no opinion o' that sort o' religion."
   "No," said Mr Hackit, who was fond of soothing the acerbities of the feminine 
   mind with a jocose compliment, "you held your petticoats so high, to show your 
   tight ankles: it isn't everybody as likes to show her ankles."
   This joke met with general acceptance, even from the snubbed Janet, whose ankles 
   were only tight in the sense of looking extremely squeezed by her boots. But 
   Janet seemed always to identify herself with her aunt's personality, holding her 
   own under protest.
   Under cover of the general laughter, the gentlemen replenished their glasses, Mr 
   Pilgrim attempting to give his the character of a stirrup-cup by observing that 
   he "must be going." Miss Gibbs seized this opportunity of telling Mrs Hackit 
   that she suspected Betty, the dairymaid, of frying the  
					     					 			best bacon for the 
   shepherd, when he sat up with her to "help brew;" whereupon Mrs Hackit replied, 
   that she had always thought Betty false; and Mrs Patten said, there was no bacon 
   stolen when she was able to manage. Mr Hackit, who often complained that he 
   "never saw the like to women with their maids?he never had any trouble with his 
   men," avoided listening to this discussion, by raising the question of vetches 
   with Mr Pilgrim. The stream of conversation had thus diverged; and no more was 
   said about the Rev. Amos Barton, who is the main object of interest to us just 
   now. So we may leave Cross Farm without waiting till Mrs Hackit, resolutely 
   donning her clogs and wrappings, renders it incumbent on Mr Pilgrim also to 
   fulfil his frequent threat of going.
   CHAPTER II. 
   It was happy for the Rev. Amos Barton that he did not, like us, overhear the 
   conversation recorded in the last chapter. Indeed, what mortal is there of us, 
   who would find his satisfaction enhanced by an opportunity of comparing the 
   picture he presents to himself of his own doings, with the picture they make on 
   the mental retina of his neighbours? We are poor plants buoyed up by the 
   air-vessels of our own conceit: alas for us, if we get a few pinches that empty 
   us of that windy self-subsistence! The very capacity for good would go out of 
   us. For, tell the most impassioned orator, suddenly, that his wig is awry, or 
   his shirt-lap hanging out, and that he is tickling people by the oddity of his 
   person, instead of thrilling them by the energy of his periods, and you would 
   infallibly dry up the spring of his eloquence. That is a deep and wide saying, 
   that no miracle can be wrought without faith?without the worker's faith in 
   himself, as well as the recipient's faith in him. And the greater part of the 
   worker's faith in himself is made up of the faith that others believe in him.
   Let me be persuaded that my neighbour Jenkins considers me a blockhead, and I 
   shall never shine in conversation with him any more. Let me discover that the 
   lovely Phoebe thinks my squint intolerable, and I shall never be able to fix her 
   blandly with my disengaged eye again.
   Thank heaven, then, that a little illusion is left to us, to enable us to be 
   useful and agreeable? that we don't know exactly what our friends think of 
   us?that the world is not made of looking-glass, to show us just the figure we 
   are making, and just what is going on behind our backs! By the help of dear 
   friendly illusion, we are able to dream that we are charming?and our faces wear 
   a becoming air of self-possession; we are able to dream that other men admire 
   our talents?and our benignity is undisturbed; we are able to dream that we are 
   doing much good?and we do a little.
   Thus it was with Amos Barton on that very Thursday evening, when he was the 
   subject of the conversation at Cross Farm. He had been dining at Mr Farquhar's, 
   the secondary squire of the parish, and, stimulated by unwonted gravies and port 
   wine, had been delivering his opinion on affairs parochial and otherwise with 
   considerable animation. And he was now returning home in the moonlight?a little 
   chill, it is true, for he had just now no greatcoat compatible with clerical 
   dignity, and a fur boa round one's neck, with a waterproof cape over one's 
   shoulders, doesn't frighten away the cold from one's legs; but entirely 
   unsuspicious, not only of Mr Hackit's estimate of his oratorical powers, but 
   also of the critical remarks passed on him by the Misses Farquhar as soon as the 
   drawing-room door had closed behind him. Miss Julia had observed that she never 
   heard any one sniff so frightfully as Mr Barton did?she had a great mind to 
   offer him her pocket-handkerchief; and Miss Arabella wondered why he always said 
   he was going for to do a thing. He, excellent man! was meditating fresh pastoral 
   exertions on the morrow; he would set on foot his lending library, in which he 
   had introduced some books that would be a pretty sharp blow to the 
   dissenters?one especially, purporting to be written by a working man who, out of 
   pure zeal for the welfare of his class, took the trouble to warn them in this 
   way against those hypocritical thieves, the dissenting preachers. The Rev. Amos 
   Barton profoundly believed in the existence of that working man, and had 
   thoughts of writing to him. Dissent, he considered, would have its head bruised 
   in Shepperton, for did he not attack it in two ways? He preached Low-Church 
   doctrine?as evangelical as anything to be heard in the Independent Chapel; and 
   he made a High-Church assertion of ecclesiastical powers and functions. Clearly, 
   the Dissenters would feel that "the parson" was too many for them. Nothing like 
   a man who combines shrewdness with energy. The wisdom of the serpent, Mr Barton 
   considered, was one of his strong points.
   Look at him as he winds through the little churchyard! The silver light that 
   falls aslant on church and tomb, enables you to see his slim black figure, made 
   all the slimmer by tight pantaloons, as it flits past the pale gravestones. He 
   walks with a quick step, and is now rapping with sharp decision at the vicarage 
   door. It is opened without delay by the nurse, cook, and housemaid, all at 
   once?that is to say, by the robust maid-of-all-work, Nanny; and as Mr Barton 
   hangs up his hat in the passage, you see that a narrow face of no particular 
   complexion?even the small-pox that has attacked it seems to have been of a 
   mongrel, indefinite kind?with features of no particular shape, and an eye of no 
   particular expression, is surmounted by a slope of baldness gently rising from 
   brow to crown. You judge him, rightly, to be about forty. The house is quiet, 
   for it is half-past ten, and the children have long been gone to bed. He opens 
   the sitting-room door, but instead of seeing his wife, as he expected, stitching 
   with the nimblest of fingers by the light of one candle, he finds her dispensing 
   with the light of a candle altogether. She is softly pacing up and down by the 
   red firelight, holding in her arms little Walter, the year-old baby, who looks 
   over her shoulder with large wide-open eyes, while the patient mother pats his 
   back with her soft hand, and glances with a sigh at the heap of large and small 
   stockings lying unmended on the table.
   She was a lovely woman?Mrs Amos Barton; a large, fair, gentle Madonna, with 
   thick, close chestnut curls beside her well-rounded cheeks, and with large, 
   tender, short-sighted eyes. The flowing lines of her tall figure made the 
   limpest dress look graceful, and her old frayed black silk seemed to repose on 
   her bust and limbs with a placid elegance and sense of distinction, in strong 
   contrast with the uneasy sense of being no fit, that seemed to express itself in 
   the rustling of Mrs Farquhar's gros de Naples. The caps she wore would have been 
   pronounced, when off her head, utterly heavy and hideous?for in those days even 
   fashionable caps were large and floppy; but surmounting her long arched neck, 
   and mingling their borders of cheap lace and ribbon with her chestnut curls, 
   they seemed miracles of successful millinery. Among strangers she was shy and 
   tremulo 
					     					 			us as a girl of fifteen; she blushed crimson if any one appealed to her 
   opinion; yet that tall, graceful, substantial presence was so imposing in its 
   mildness, that men spoke to her with an agreeable sensation of timidity.
   Soothing, unspeakable charm of gentle womanhood! which supersedes all 
   acquisitions, all accomplishments. You would never have asked, at any period of 
   Mrs Amos Barton's life, if she sketched or played the piano. You would even 
   perhaps have been rather scandalised if she had descended from the serene 
   dignity of being to the assiduous unrest of doing. Happy the man, you would have 
   thought, whose eye will rest on her in the pauses of his fireside reading?whose 
   hot aching forehead will be soothed by the contact of her cool soft hand?who 
   will recover himself from dejection at his mistakes and failures in the loving 
   light of her unreproaching eyes! You would not, perhaps, have anticipated that 
   this bliss would fall to the share of precisely such a man as Amos Barton, whom 
   you have already surmised not to have the refined sensibilities for which you 
   might have imagined Mrs Barton's qualities to be destined by pre-established 
   harmony. But I, for one, do not grudge Amos Barton this sweet wife. I have all 
   my life had a sympathy for mongrel ungainly dogs, who are nobody's pets; and I 
   would rather surprise one of them by a pat and a pleasant morsel, than meet the 
   condescending advances of the loveliest Skye-terrier who has his cushion by my 
   lady's chair. That, to be sure, is not the way of the world: if it happens to 
   see a fellow of fine proportions and aristocratic mien, who makes no faux pas, 
   and wins golden opinions from all sorts of men, it straightway picks out for him 
   the loveliest of unmarried women, and says, There would be a proper match! Not 
   at all, say I: let that successful, well-shapen, discreet and able gentleman put 
   up with something less than the best in the matrimonial department; and let the 
   sweet woman go to make sunshine and a soft pillow for the poor devil whose legs 
   are not models, whose efforts are often blunders, and who in general gets more 
   kicks than halfpence. She?the sweet woman ?will like it as well; for her sublime 
   capacity of loving will have all the more scope; and I venture to say, Mrs 
   Barton's nature would never have grown half so angelic if she had married the 
   man you would perhaps have had in your eye for her ?a man with sufficient income 
   and abundant personal ?clat. Besides, Amos was an affectionate husband, and, in 
   his way, valued his wife as his best treasure.
   But now he has shut the door behind him, and said, "Well, Milly!"
   "Well, dear!" was the corresponding greeting, made eloquent by a smile.
   "So that young rascal won't go to sleep! Can't you give him to Nanny?"
   "Why, Nanny has been busy ironing this evening; but I think I'll take him to her 
   now." And Mrs Barton glided towards the kitchen, while her husband ran up-stairs 
   to put on his maize-coloured dressing-gown, in which costume he was quietly 
   filling his long pipe when his wife returned to the sitting-room. Maize is a 
   colour that decidedly did not suit his complexion, and it is one that soon 
   soils; why, then, did Mr Barton select it for domestic wear? Perhaps because he 
   had a knack of hitting on the wrong thing in garb as well as in grammar.
   Mrs Barton now lighted her candle, and seated herself before her heap of 
   stockings. She had something disagreeable to tell her husband, but she would not 
   enter on it at once.
   "Have you had a nice evening, dear?"
   "Yes, pretty well. Ely was there to dinner, but went away rather early. Miss 
   Arabella is setting her cap at him with a vengeance. But I don't think he's much 
   smitten. I've a notion Ely's engaged to some one at a distance, and will 
   astonish all the ladies who are languishing for him here, by bringing home his 
   bride one of these days. Ely's a sly dog; he'll like that."