I guess it’s a good thing that we didn’t get married after all. Being out here made me realize that I still need to sew a couple more wild oats before I’m ready to settle down. But I hope you’re having fun at the beach anyway. Your eyes are bluer than the breaking waves and your skin is as white as the froth-filled foam on top. I’ll probably see you at school next week even though Clark asked me to make a movie with him at Metro. But my Mom always says No whenever that happens, so don’t worry.
Love,
Joey
P.S. Oh, yeah. Judy Garland says Hi.
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* * *
Dear Mrs. M and Aunt Carrie,
I am inclosing a photo I took at the Harlem Club that I figured you would want to keep in your scrap book. It shows Joey playing my sax next to Louis Armstrong playing the trumpet. (Joey is the short one.) He says he didn’t mean to be a show-off, but you know how his head works. Stuke got us a table at the ring side even though it cost him $10 to do it (which is his job now on account of he is a Pfc. and I’m not), so we were close enough that when Pearl Bailey started singing “The Saint Louis Blues” and Joey winked at her, she could see it. Right away she stopped the song and said to the band “Hold it fellas. I think I got me a beau here” and asked Joey how old he was. (He said 22 and she pretended to believe him.) After that she wanted to know what he was doing all the way down on Central Ave. so he told her that he dropped in to see if he could give L. Armstrong a “couple of pointers on the horn”. By then I could figure out what was coming next so I handed him my sax, which I always bring with me in case somebody asks me to toot with them (which they never do). Then Pearlie May said to Armstrong “You hear that Louie? You got competition” and the next thing we knew Joey was on the stage playing “Moonlight Seranade” with the rest of the band going along behind him. L. Armstrong even made a couple of trumpet mistakes on purpose just so Joey wouldn’t be the only one. When they were finished, Louis said to Joey “How did you do that, man?” and Joey said back “It’s like you always say, man. If you can’t feel it, I can’t explain it.” And Armstrong took the credit for it like he was the one who said it all along instead of Satchmo. Smokes, what a phony. Joey says he wants to be a Negro now, but I told him I can’t help him with that.
In case you didn’t know it already, this kid isn’t afraid of anything.
Charlie
P.S. I haven’t clued him in yet, but I am giving him my saxaphone to take home with him on account of he will probably have better luck with it than I do anyway. He gets L. Armstrong and all I get is such things as boots and baseballs thrown at my head. Make sure he takes care of it though.
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* * *
Miss Veronica Lake
c/o Hollywood Canteen
1451 Cahuenga Boulevard
Hollywood, CA
Dear Veronica,
In case you don’t remember, I’m the Marine who danced with you nine times last night & asked you to marry him twice. And if that doesn’t narrow it down, I was with another Marine & the 13-year-old kid who kept calling me “Dad.” Anyway, I just wanted you to know that I’m only 22 & I’m not really his father, but my buddy put him up to it because he’s still sore that I made Pfc. and he didn’t.
Look, I know that you probably dance with a lot of guys & hear the same routines from most of us, but if I’d taken all the dough I blew on seeing you in Sullivan’s Travels and This Gun for Hire and given it to Roosevelt instead, he could probably pay for the whole damn war with it. I guess this doesn’t make me special, but what are the chances that you’d let me buy you a hamburger & a chocolate egg cream anyway? Or coffee & a donut? Maybe I could rack up some points by telling you that my liberty is up in 36 hours & you’d be my last date before I shipped out, but I’m not going to do that (even though it’s true). Instead, I’m just going to tell you that I’m staying at the Biltmore in Room 714 on the off chance that maybe you’ll call and say yes. Come to think of it, I’d even settle for walking you to your car.
Jordy Stuker
P.S. I don’t know if it makes a difference, but in real life I play first base for the New York Giants. Honest. So I’m famous too. Sort of.
* * *
* * *
Manzanar Free Press
VOL. 1. No.32 MANZANAR. CALIFORNIA APRIL 8, 1942
CHARLIE BANKS GUEST OF HONOR AT BALL FIELD
New York Giants slugger Charlie Banks was the surprise guest at this morning’s American League game between the San Pedro Gophers and the Manzanar Pioneers, arriving just in time for the second inning. The acclaimed third baseman told the Free Press. “I heard that my buddy Craig Nakamura was playing third for the Gophers and I didn’t want to miss it. This guy is going to be an All-Star someday.” Nakamura, 13, was a temporary replacement in the Gophers’ lineup but has since been made a permanent member of the team due in large part to the pair of doubles he smacked to deep center in the fourth and
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LEAGUE STANDINGS
Ramblers
W.: 5
L.: 0
Pct.: 1.000
Giants
W.: 3
L.: 0
Pct.: 1.000
Wonders
W.: 2
L.: 1
Pct.: .667
Gophers
W.: 2
L.: 1
Pct.: .667
Pioneers
W.: 2
L.: 3
Pct.: .400
Mayors
W.: 1
L.: 3
Pct.: .250
Yankees
W.: 1
L.: 4
Pct.: .125
Senors
W.: 0
L.: 4
Pct.: .000
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TOP SECRET
The Green Hornet
C/O Craig Nakamura
Craigy, I still can’t see Earl Warren.
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TOP SECRET
The Shadow
C/O Joey Margolis
That’s because he hates people. Ever since Mrs. Fukuda started chasing him with a broom. So stay under the bed and keep looking at the wall behind the oil burner.
Guess what? We think Kenji sunk the Arizona but we don’t have any proof yet. Want to stay here and help me find some?
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TOP SECRET
The Green Hornet
C/O Craig Nakamura
Smokes, can I?
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TOP SECRET
The Shadow
C/O Joey Margolis
Nah. You’re not dangerous enough for the Army, Joey-San. You need to have pointy teeth and tails like we do.
By the way, thanks for the new code book. They’ve improved it since the old days.
* * *
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TOP SECRET
The Green Hornet
C/O Craig Nakamura
Did they let you keep your crystal set?
* * *
* * *
Dear Hazel,
Charlie’s right. The Army can kiss our ass and so can FDR. It turned out that they were holding Craig’s father and uncle prisoners at some damned camp in Tule Lake while they decided whether or not to ship them back to Japan. Then those G.I. chunkheads found out that neither one of them had ever been to Japan in their lives, so they had to let them go and send them to Manzanar instead. At least they’ll all be together now.
Toots, you should of seen this kid in action. Go on. Tell what happened.
You tell.
First I went to see the Major by myself on account of (1) being a Marine and (2) playing 3d Base for the NY Giants. But that didn’t work on him due to (1) hating Marines and (2) hating the NY Giants.
Get to the secret weapon part.
I am. So I told him about some of the stunts Craig has pulled such as thinking he is
the Green Hornet and selling tickets to Joey’s Bar Mitzvah and saying “God Bless L. Durocher” before he goes to sleep and etc., just to prove that he is normal and not some Pearl Harbor sneak with big teeth and black glasses and TNT in his ear. But that didn’t work either.
Don’t forget the secret weapon part.
Would you keep your shirt on?????? Instead, the only thing the Major said back was “These people are a threat to our security” like Craig was going to chase Eisenhower across Germany with a pop gun or something. So when I saw that I was not getting anywhere, it hit me that I had a secret weapon.
And it was me!
Remember when he hoodwinked the Rabby into letting me stand up for him? And conned me into making him a bat-boy? Well at least me and the Rabby were a challenge on account of having brains. This Major was a whole other ball game. I figured Joey could use him for target practice just to stay limber. So I yanked him out of the barracks where him and Craig were lying under some beds and watching a rat.
Earl Warren was chewing his tail and taking a shit at the same time. It was festive.
Then I booted his ass into the CO’s office and let him go to work by saying to him on the way in “Just start your usual riot.” Well they did not know what hit them. First he took them to the mat about the father’s tomato plants pointing to Lockheed by saying that they were also pointing to Brazil and so what? Then he said the whole Constitution out loud by heart just to prove that there was nothing in it about vegetables. And when it didn’t look like that was going to do the job either, he started making up amendments.
Only the 19th. That one’s about voting rights for women, which wasn’t going to do us much good anyway.
What did you call it?
“Unlawful Detention. The right of the citizens of the United States to life and liberty cannot be taken away or restricted because of a person’s national origin.” If you didn’t know it was me, wouldn’t you think that James Madison wrote it?
It was like being in a train wreck when all you can do is watch it happen. I was never so scared stiff in my whole life. Joey wasn’t. He just kept going. By the time he got to the part about Clarence Darrow being his uncle and taking him and Craig to baseball games, the Major was on the horn with Tule Lake and Craig had his family back. Isn’t C. Darrow dead?
Who cares? Know what else, Hazel? Charlie got the Gophers to keep Craig in the lineup by telling the newspaper that he was going to be an All Star someday.
Just between us he could not hit a barn with a 40-ft. pumpkin, but how many knocks is one kid sup pose to take????? And when you play 3b for the NY Giants they always think you know what your talking about.
Even Bogart.
Oh yeah. We were eating dinner at Romanoffs and we saw him at another table, so we flipped a coin to see who’d get to ask him for his autograph.
I won.
My ass you did. You were using Stuke’s nickle with the 2 heads on it. But before we could do anything, Bogart came over himself and said “Say. Aren’t you Charlie Banks?” Bogey knew who I was. Bogey.
He’s making a picture with Ingrid Bergman about the war in North Africa, but he says we shouldn’t waste our money and the only reason they made him do it was because George Raft said No.
But guess who said Yes? Veronica Lake. To Stuke. I would of thought he was snowing me but I answered the phone myself and heard her voice. He almost broke a leg running out of the shower with soap in his eyes.
We worked on the letter with him for two hours before we let him send it. Up until then she thought I was his son.
So did Lana Turner and Hedy Lamar and half of the other movie stars at the H. Canteen. Every time it looked like Stuke was going to click with one of them I would send Joey over there to say such things as “Pop it is past my bed-time” or “Can I have my allowance now?” or etc. It is a good thing Stuke did not have his K-Bar knife with him or else they would of been finding pieces of us all over Calif. for the next 7 yrs. But V. Lake let him take her to Mocambo.
Hazel, if he marries her we’ll have two stars in the family—you and Veronica.
What about me?
Are you going to let me ship out with you?
Nope.
Then you don’t count.
Chiseler.
Fake.
That does it. Sack time Bucko. We need to get you to the train early.
Stuke paid for the ticket. That’s part of his job now since he’s a Pfc. and Charlie’s not.
Your stalling. Tell Hazel you love her.
I love you, Hazel.
Me too.
Joey and Charlie
P.S. Craig is going to be OK up there until all of this is over. I even told him I would be checking up on him once in a while just to make sure he is dotting his P’s and Q’s. But one of these days somebody is going to have to tell me how McArthur and DeWitt and etc. can get away with it. This stinks even for the Army.
P.S.2. Boy, when Joey decides to grow up he does not waste any time, does he? I sure hope I had something to do with it. But it got me thinking about not knowing what is going to happen in the S. Pacific or how long before they let us come home or etc., and what if he loses his way while I am gone? So I am inclosing something for you to give to him only if you have to (though I will probably be older than Noah by the time they ship us out).
P.S.3. Stuke just got in. She let him kiss her. You can tell because (1) he has a funny look on his face and (2) he just went into the closet to take a piss.
* * *
* * *
WAR BULLETIN:
U.S. Planes Bomb Five Japanese Cities
SUNDAY. In a dispatch that has electrified Allied nations around the globe, the White House today announced that sixteen American B-25 bombers, under the command of Lt. Col. James H. Doolittle, successfully attacked the allegedly “unassailable” Japanese homeland by air, scoring direct hits on Tokyo, Yokohama, Osaka, Kobe and Nagoya. With no U.S. airfields in the far Pacific, and a carrier-based assault impossible given the range limitations of the Mitchell B-25, the question remains, “Where the heck did our planes come from?” FDR was willing to offer but a single clue: “Shangri-La”—a tongue-in-cheek reference to the mythical Himalayan paradise popularized by James Hilton’s novel Lost Horizon. The extent of the damage is not yet known, but it is believed that the losses to
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* * *
Man About Town
by Winchell
THE BOYS GET TOKYO; MERMAN GETS “THE BOYS”
With Jimmy Doolittle wrapping up production in the skies above Japan, Uncle Sam’s about to get another shot in the arm. According to the beat on the Street, Ethel Merman’s joined the war effort by signing with skipper Mike Todd to star in Cole Porter’s new song-and-dancer Something for the Boys, coming in for a landing at the Alvin in early January. This time the Queen of Musical Comedy finds herself playing Blossom Hart, a Texas war worker who begins receiving radio signals through the Carborundum fillings in her choppers. (And we thought radar was the latest word!)
“It’s Cole’s best score since Anything Goes,” gushed Eth at the Stork. “Wait ’til you hear a number he wrote for me called ‘By The Miss-iss-iss-iss-iss-iss-iss-iss-inewah’. The minute he played it, I knew I had to say yes.” And nobody crosses the Merm!
* * *
* * *
Dear Goodlookin’,
I need to borrow your rifle for five minutes, but I promise I’ll wipe off the prints before I send it back. And if you should happen to hear that they’ve misplaced the Queen of Musical Comedy, pretend you don’t know anything about it. (Incidentally, I’m glad you think this is funny, you sadist. Wait until you find out that they’ve hired her to play third base for the Giants, too. Come to think of it, she’s built more like you anyway.) Joey and I ran into her tonight at the Stage Door Canteen—she was boring the pants off of Gypsy Rose Lee (who wasn’t wearing any). Talk about an unlikely pair. When was the last time anybody thought of Merman and Gypsy in the sa
me breath?
Cole Porter dropped by the club on Monday to see if I’m still speaking to him (I’m not), but that didn’t stop him from butting in while the kid and I rehearsed our Canteen number—a cute routine I swiped from Pal Joey. (Your little bat boy tried to convince me that he should have the bigger part because, after all, “they didn’t call the show Pal Hazel.” He has a bright future as an agent if he wants one.) Cole felt it was all wrong for us and recommended “They’re Either Too Young or Too Old”, which probably means he wrote it. I would have told him to go to Hell if it hadn’t stopped the show, so maybe I’ll let him off the hook—but not before 1950.
I just heard on the radio that the Japanese captured two of the Doolittle crews when they crashlanded in China. According to Tokyo Rose, they’ll be given a fair trial and then executed. (That one’s going to take a little explaining.) Promise me something, you big bruiser. When you boys are sitting around bragging about who has the biggest you-know-what, don’t let anybody talk you into joining the Air Corps. I like you best when all ten of your toes are on the ground. Besides, you’re manly enough already.
Roosevelt says that the war could last two years or more. Remind me never to complain about a long road trip again.
Boy, do I miss you.
All my love,
-Mrs. H-
P.S. Joey told Rachel that her hair was as brown as My Friend Flicka. Was that your idea? I tried to explain to him that girls rarely appreciate being compared to livestock, but he won’t listen to me—he still believes you’re the last word on romance. (Come to think of it, so do I. Maybe I’d better shut up and quit while I’m ahead.)