“Totally, man,” this time his words were accompanied by a thumbs up.
Sparky didn’t know what to make of the gesture. He pulled his coat closer.
“You hungry at all?”
“I don’t think so.”
Sparky’s stomach grumbled at his memory. Through the fog of his thoughts he searched for what had transpired.
It all started with a car ride. Lord Neptune kept singing that little song, and talking about Sheila, whoever she was. They talked about the weather and his family. There was something about the seat vinyl. There was music, a lot of music in fact. Lord Neptune had fed him the pizza. Oh, the delicious pizza. The ride had been so long.
“Where are we?”
“Dude, you crashed hard! This is my bro’s house.”
“Oh. Where is that?”
“Um, 42 something, I don’t remember.”
“Are we in Saskatoon?”
“Yeah, seriously man, whoa. You went out, didn’t you?”
“Where did I go?”
“To sleep, man. You small town folk are dying for some culture,” Lord Neptune stuffed another handful of chips into his mouth, but didn’t hesitate to continue. “You-f can-f stay if-f you want,” he swallowed. “I’ve got to work in a bit though.”
“I need to get somewhere. Do you know where...” Sparky pulled the matches from his pocket and read the address, “1401 Colony Street is?”
“It’s across the river, maybe three or four k. You can hoof it.”
“What?” Lord Neptune wasn’t looking his way, did he already know?
“Hoof it, walk, stroll, cruise, mosey. Heh, mosey.”
“Oh,” Sparky sighed.
“Or you can take the bus. It’s pretty cheap.”
Sparky knew enough about human interactions to know that many things had a cost. Cheap was outside of his price range. “I don’t have any money.”
“I’ll spot you the cash, just this once though. Did you want some food or anything?”
The goat didn’t know what spotting entailed completely, but it sounded like that the money for the trip would be covered. “I’m not hungry.”
Lord Neptune rose slowly from the ground, his eyes only half open. His new acquaintance had been a little awkward, but not too much out of the norm for the crowd he had run with back in high school. “Alright bud. I’ll get you pointed off the right way.”
“Thank you.”
“Oh, totally. Just don’t forget to bring back the shirt.”
Lord Neptune walked Sparky to the front door. He pointed the goat east from the entryway. According to him, the bus stop was only a few blocks away. Lord Neptune provided the goat a handful of exact change for the bus and wished him farewell. The door sealed and Sparky rotated to face the world.
Sparky’s mouth gaped. Standing on the front steps of the house, he never once in his life had he imagined that buildings could be built upward to such scale. The city was enormous. Oliver had been right to be upset, if not downright terrified. Houses were side by side by side, and people strolled about everywhere.
Sparky wanted to head down the road. After all he was only blocks away from the bus. The bus that Lord Neptune had assured him came every few minutes and would take him all the way to his destination. This bus that would even be conveniently labeled “Colony Street.”
The goat remained frozen on the doorstep, watching pedestrians pass. The adult people wore coats and hats. In some ways it appeared he would fit right in. Sparky saw several children. Sparky shuddered as memories of his previous experience with the human child flashed through his mind. Most of the human kids appeared to be restrained by adults with hand holding. This must be how they kept them in control.
Still, he would avoid the children.
Sparky forced his legs to move. The goat took his first difficult step from the porch. Then one leg in front of the other, Sparky meandered along the sidewalk. The people passing by didn’t take an interest in him, or any of the other people on the street. People would pass by within inches and not even so much as greet each other. He drew in a deep breath and inflated his chest.
Chapter 23
Outside the confines of the tractor trailer one of their captors screamed about the terrible luck of a flat tire. The sun was setting down, and the last light from the crack in the doors would fade soon. The rumbling of bellies was underway once more. The candy had been gone as soon as they had started off. And the rest of the day had passed without a further offering of food. They were all desperately thirsty. To make matters worse, the compartment swelled with stench. The goats had no meaningful place to sanction for a toilet. Traveling in confinement with an unknown destination, there was nothing they could do but wait.
There was a little hope.
Earlier, Groucho had overheard a conversation where one of the men was being berated about the goat’s treatment by phone. Whoever was in charge wasn’t just expecting them alive, but in good health. They remained hopeful this would include another meal, although a good block of time had passed with no change.
In one corner of the prison three bucks sat with their heads close. Oreo, Dipper and Juan Diego. The three had a plan. They would break out, next chance they got. It would take skillful execution. When the next meal came they would have to be prepared. They whispered and plotted as the truck sailed along the highway.
~~~~~~
The sun was all but lost on the horizon. The obscurity of dusk light reassured the nervous goat. Sparky stood with his back to the wall. Two people were there at the bus stop with him. He had taken his place opposite them, but still near the sign designated by Lord Neptune. The male had on a skintight suit of slick black vinyl. His jet black hair was smoothed down across his head. His face was decorated with jewels and rings and a small chain linking two rings together between his nose and left ear. His face was painted white, expect for dark circles around his eyes.
On her hands and knees beside him was, Sparky assumed, his pet human. She was also wearing vinyl but much less jewelry. Around her neck was a spiked collar. Attached to that was a leash which the man was holding.
The two were talking discretely to one another. Twice they had leaned together and whispered, and followed it up with guarded glances at Sparky.
“I just have to say, I think it’s totally heinous what you’re doing,” the man said.
Sparky took a few steps back, sliding further away along the bricks, while keeping a good proximity to the sign.
The man pointed at Sparky as he spoke. “How would you feel if we took a kid and made a pair of pants for you out of his skin?”
It was easily the heaviest question Sparky had ever been asked. The idea of pants made from a child wasn’t all that appealing to Sparky. Foremost, it simply wasn’t practical. People didn’t have think fur. His natural coat would do much more to protect him from the elements. On second thought, if the man was referring to the style it might be a different issue. The man was wearing a very different get up than other humans Sparky had seen so far and was likely trying to get an honest opinion.
“Well,” Sparky hesitated, “I think they wouldn’t be very warm.”
“What?”
“Well there isn’t a lot of fur on the children to keep you warm, but it might look nice.”
“You’re twisted!” the girl said.
The goat inspected his outerwear, although it was tightly wrapped his coat appeared straight. The man’s lower lip extended out and his eyes were wide.
“I think you need to understand what it means to destroy life,” the man said.
“What does that have to do with pants made of children?” Sparky asked.
“Jesus Christ, are you just an insensitive dick?” The girl crossed her arms and looked away from the goat.
Sparky didn’t know what to say.
“Fur is murder,” the gold chain across the man’s face waived as he spoke. “People that kill for sport are sick, it’s wrong. And people like you di
sgust me even more, walking around in fur leggings trying to pass it off as if it’s okay. Well, it’s not okay.”
Sparky could completely agree that killing for sport was a bad thing, but it would be hard to explain that this fur belonged to him without surrendering his identity. He leaned outward to the street. There was no sign of a bus.
“Go out with your big wallet and pick up some dead creature, drape it over yourself. If I came to your house and skinned your family, what would you say?”
Another scenario Sparky had never thought of. He went back to how he had felt when he caught the man measuring his daughter. “I’d be really angry. I would probably not even think twice about impaling you. I would track you down and break your legs and arms. I wouldn’t be satisfied until I knew you couldn’t hurt me or my family again.”
Sparky looked to the man and his pet. Both were staring at him with mouths draped open.
“Jesus!” The girl threw her head back.
Sparky imagined head butting and impaling his family’s kidnappers with his horns. When the thought it over again, breaking the arms and legs might be a little much.
“Are you laughing? You’re truly disturbed, do you realize that?”
“I think it’s very appropriate. If someone came to your house and measured your kids for a coat or some pants, you would do the same,” their faces didn’t change. “Right?”
“No, I’d call the police. You don’t break people’s arms and legs.”
“Unless you are insane,” the girl said.
“Well, I can see that, too.”
“Which is why I don’t understand why you are wearing furs. It’s detestable, especially knowing that you’re a wacko that would bust up someone for trying that on your family. Why would you treat animals as lesser creatures?”
“I-”
“They deserve to be treated with total respect. Everyone and everything deserves to be treated like a brother. I would do anything for another person, or an animal. It’s totally right.” The man was twisting his tongue preparing to further flay him, when the sound of an air brake interrupted.
Sparky looked up to the bus: Colony Street.
Chapter 24
The goat stood at the vacant stop as the bus drove away. Along the roadway ahead a large orange sign towered above a small commercial building. It was lit from behind and with black text and a familiar head logo. “Larry’s.” In all of twenty-four hours Sparky had not been so contented. It was a moment he would be proud to share with his friends, but was regrettably alone.
“Hey, buddy, over here.”
Sparky continued on, ignoring the call from the shadows.
“Hey, you, pssst.” Sparky checked over his shoulder. There he identified a tall male figure following him. The goat continued, hoping the man would lose interest.
“Stop, or I’ll shoot.”
Sparky froze in place. Echoing footsteps closed in from behind.
“Are you going to shoot me?” Sparky spoke calmly.
“Shh, be still.” The goat felt a hand on his coat. The man’s right arm reached around and into the overcoat. The thieves’ hand glided toward Sparky’s pockets. The photos! Sparky sprang forward, and spun to face the assailant. He put his forelegs up to block.
“Don’t move!”
The man had his hand wrapped within his overcoat. Underneath it, pointed at Sparky, was some manor of unseen pistol.
“Where’s your money?” The man had a rugged face, unshaven for days.
“I don’t have any.”
“Christ, what the hell is wrong with my life,” the man slammed his foot on the ground. His coat fell open revealing the plastic toy gun he was using to scare the goat. “Oh crap.” He began sobbing. “Look, please don’t turn me in.”
Sparky stood toe-to-toe with the weeping man. The goat was not amused at the presumed attempt on his life. Yet something in the man’s demeanor tugged at his heartstrings. “Who are you?”
“Gus.” The man’s arms fell loose and his body slumped. His head fell backwards. “Why god?” his voice echoed in the narrow street. His head crashed on Sparky’s shoulder. His sobbing gave way to the full waterworks. His arms wrapped around the goat for the second time, but now for a different reason.
“Now, now, calm yourself down.” Sparky withdrew from the embrace.
Gus’s nose ran profusely. Gus’s eyes flooded with tears and his breathing became short and irregular.
“You’ll be fine,” Sparky said.
“You know, that’s what the last person I tried to rob said, then out of nowhere, BAM!” The man threw his knee up narrowly missing Sparky’s midsection. “Right in the jewels. All I want is to make enough money to, to turn away from crime.”
“That doesn’t sound hard.”
“Oh, well, let me tell you something. I’ve been all over this city for two months. No one will let me rob them, no one will buy drugs from me, and you don’t even want to know the luck I’ve had as a gigolo.”
Sparky could feel the call of the bright orange sign behind him. Sparky wanted nothing more from this man, and figured it best leave. The man was clearly harmless and likely only to cause more trouble for him. As he turned to walk, Gus’s hand landed on his shoulder.
“You can’t leave, I need you,” Gus pleaded. Sparky could hear the valves in the man’s eyes switching on.
“Look, Gus, I’m in a hurry.”
“You know what? If you want to overlook my problems for your own, be that way!”
Gus kicked at a puddle of water directly in front of him. The water fell short of the goat. When his heel came back down, it slammed the puddle and soaked his own pants. “If I don’t wake up tomorrow, it’s on your head!”
Sparky was already well on his way down the street.
Chapter 25
“Can I help you?” The young man behind the counter was curt, but not very attentive. He didn’t look up at Sparky standing directly in front of him, The young man spoke up to him affixed to his LCD screen.
“I am looking for someone that rented a truck here. I need you to give me names and an address.”
“Oh.”
The young man in front of him sported an orange jumpsuit with Larry’s head logo on it. It was the same as the matches and the sign outside. The shirts, however, missed out on the word “Larry’s”, featuring only the logo. The employee still never looked up from his terminal.
“So, can you help me?”
“What? Oh sure, what do you need?”
“I was looking for someone that rented a truck.”
“Right. Could you be a little more specific?”
Sparky produced the picture of Reilly, laying it out on the counter.
“Yeah, I’ve seen him.” The man’s eyes had never strayed from his screen to the picture.
“This man right here? When, where did he go?”
“Nope.”
“Nope? Nope what?”
“I haven’t seen him.”
“But I thought you said...”
“Hang on, I’ve got to check in back.”
“Check in back?” Sparky hadn't finished the words before the man escaped out the rear door.
Sparky picked up the picture and moved down to the next attendant. Like her counterpart she was busy staring at a computer screen. She had a phone propped up between her head and shoulder.
“Excuse me.”
The girl’s hand sprang up immediately. Her eyes only bounced up to him for a moment and then were once again on the digital display.
“Uh huh, uh huh, uh huh, uh huh, uh huh, uh huh.”
At the end of the counter lingered the last jumpsuit-wearing employee. This man was not staring at a screen. He was sitting on a stool. In his hand was a cigarette. It wasn’t lit.
“I needed,” Sparky stopped as again the young lady’s hand sprang into his face.
“Can you help me?” Sparky called to the man at the end of the counter.
“I don’t
know,” he said, “I’m on a break.”
Sparky headed toward the man with his picture, “I was looking for someone who came in here a few days ago.”
“God-damn, are you deaf? I said I’m on break,” the man turned and disappeared out the rear door, after he did the first employee returned.
“I’m sorry, we’re all out!”
“All out of what?”
“What you were asking for. Try our other store, east side.”
The young man resumed his typing at his workstation. Sparky observed the girl nodding on the phone and settled back on the young man. On closer inspection he spotted a name tag.
“Look, John, I really need to know about this man,” Sparky put the picture down.
“Um yeah, he doesn’t work today.”
“He works here?”
“No.” John slammed the enter key in frustration.
“What?”
“Would you like me to get you directions to the east side store?”
His beady little eyes. Sparky held back. He wanted to jump the counter, to ram this John and the woman. The desperate goat needed their attention. He was on a mission. A mission they were impeding.
He extended his hoof out and waived it in the man’s face. No response. Sparky carefully guided his hoof over John’s head and knocked once on his skull.
“Ow, what the hell?” the man looked up at him. John registered the dark figure for the first time. The man’s face was shadowed by his old brown hat. And there was a smell that John didn’t recognize.
“I’m trying to find this man. Please have you seen him?”
John picked up the picture rubbing his head.
“This guy?” He tossed the picture back onto the counter. “I don’t know him.”
“He rented a truck from this place a two or three days ago. He may have already brought it back.”
“I don’t work weekends, Christ,” John eye’s fell back against his computer screen.
Sparky extended his arm and held it over the man’s head once again. He didn’t look up. “John?”
“Yeah?” the man noticed the hovering arm and ducked away. “Look freak, what the hell do you need so badly?”
“I told you, I’m looking for this man, right here,” he slammed his coat wrapped arm on the counter.
“I told you I don’t work weekends, I wasn’t here when he came in two or three days ago. Saturday or Sunday, get it?!” John stormed out the rear door.