ARMY MAN. Spider the size of a spider! Ha!

  SOLDIER. So what? A spider isn’t dangerous because it’s the size of a house.

  ARMY MAN. That’s true. A spider might even be more dangerous if it’s small.

  ARMY MAN. Miniscule!

  ARMY MAN. Imperceptible!

  ARMY MAN. The size of a pea.

  ARMY MAN. The size of a tiny hut.

  ARMY MAN. The tiniest hut there ever was.

  ARMY MAN. Watch out!

  SOLDIER. Over here.

  ARMY MAN. What is it?

  ARMY MAN. A most dazzling painting!

  ARMY MAN. The most beautiful portrait of the most beautiful girl!

  -The thirty men stare in a shocked, solemn silence. It is almost heartbreaking knowing such a creature walked the Earth. Where is she now? Where did she go?

  ARMY MAN. It is the portrait of the Witch in her youth.

  SOLDIER. It is the portrait of a spider.

  ARMY MAN. It is sinful to worship false idols.

  ARMY MAN. Yes. You all stand in awed silence as though this goddess here were God, creator Himself of all magnificent things.

  ARMY MAN. As do you with your gaping mouth!

  ARMY MAN. We must remember this is merely one of His magnificent creations.

  SOLDIER. Why is it so hard to look away?

  ARMY MAN. We are all under a spell.

  ARMY MAN. We are all in grave danger!

  SOLDIER. We ought to burn this evil painting!

  ARMY MAN. Yes. Such perfect beauty should not exist on Earth. It is blasphemy.

  ARMY MAN. But who of us will do it?

  ARMY MAN. Burn it?

  SOLDIER. Burn it.

  ARMY MAN. We must get another.

  ARMY MAN. Yes. One who has yet to be possessed!

  ARMY MAN. But who of us can look away?

  -The Witch appears in front of the reluctant worshippers.

  WITCH. You fools would burn this painting?

  ARMY MAN. The Witch!

  ARMY MAN. The Witch!

  ARMY MAN. The Witch!

  SOLDIER. The Witch!

  WITCH. And none of you men anymore!

  -She snaps her fingers and, at once, the painting disappears.

  But do not worry.

  The Girl survives. She’s just no longer trapped inside a frame.

  Instead, she finds herself as many different people. A crowd!

  HYPOTHESIS 2. Ah!

  HYPOTHESIS 29. Ah!

  HYPOTHESIS 13. Oh my!

  HYPOTHESIS 17. We’re the size of an army!

  HYPOTHESIS 5. Well, the number of an army, yes.

  HYPOTHESIS 1. But certainly not the girth of one!

  -The multitude of girls erupt with laughter.

  WITCH. Girls, girls! I will release you into the wild!

  HYPOTHESIS 22. Some of us are already in the wild!

  HYPOTHESIS 25. Yeah! It’s not fair!

  HYPOTHESIS 3. Why are we trapped in here?

  HYPOTHESIS 20. This is too much! Am I this annoying?

  WITCH. Upon release, you girls will be wise to conquer the world!

  HYPOTHESIS 4. We girls will be wise to separate.

  HYPOTHESIS 7. I can’t stand any of you.

  WITCH. Then so be it! Do as you will. Be gone!

  -The Witch’s door flings out and all the thirty girls rush out to the wide forest like some plenty of bees after honeyful queens.

  THE END

 
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