She looked at me with her deep-blue eyes, and I blew out a heavy breath, pricked by guilt for all I’d done since she’d given me the key. Maybe I should have reached out to her, now and then, just to let her know it had worked. But I’d been so consumed by my crushing feelings of loss that I’d not had the energy to care about the concerns of others. Not even my own petitioners.
“Why have you come?” I asked, but there was no sharpness of anger in my words.
She crossed her hands in front of her. “It’s been months, Hades. And though she does not wish to see me still, or anyone for that matter, she is in female form again. Surely, that’s a good sign.”
I shrugged. “I feel as though you want me to give you some measure of hope. To tell you that yes, she’s improving, and that soon, all will be well again. But you were her best and truest friend before, so you must know, Aphrodite. You must know about a primordial’s limitations. She cannot access her memories and restore her emotions as you and I can. She is unmolded clay now.”
Biting the corner of her lip, she sat, and as she did, her fire-red skirts swished prettily around her. There was nothing she did that wasn’t pretty. It was simply in her nature to always be attractive and alluring. I suspected she’d be pretty even if she were digging in her nose. A ghost of a grin tugged at my lips at my own silliness.
She frowned. “What?”
Clearing my throat, I sat up in my seat and deflected her question. "Nothing of any importance. But again, why have you come, Dite?”
She shivered, tipping her head delicately to the side as though taking delight in my words, causing my consciousness to prick at me once more. I really was the worst of friends. No wonder the rest of the pantheon avoided me at all costs. Gods, I was a downright bastard when I wanted to be.
She spread her arms wide, a gesture of helpless frustration. “I came because I literally have nothing left right now. You’re it. You and Caly and… and I can’t just stop because you growl and grump and tell me to. That’s not the kind of friend I am, Hades. I guess I just care too much.”
Closing my eyes, I rubbed small circles on my now throbbing temple. “I have nothing left to give, Aphrodite. So if you’ve come looking for a shoulder to cry on, I am sorry, but I would be a dishonest twat if I told you that I had it in me. You say you’ve got nothing left. Well, Love, neither do I.”
Instead of misery filling her eyes, she smiled. It wasn’t a put-on gesture but as real as the deadly rivers that ran through my domain. I frowned.
“Then it's a good thing you don't need to.”
“Excuse me?” I asked, wondering if she was off her rocker. “I tell you that I’ve got nothing left in me, and you say, ‘Good’?”
Her answer was to grin wider. “Precisely.” She tapped her breast with her hand. “I’ve had a lot of time on my hands and not much to occupy my mind other than to think through this riddle. If you would allow me to, I think that together, we can work out a plan.”
I’d long since given up hope that I would ever recover my Calypso, but I had to admit that Aphrodite’s excitement was contagious. I was leaning forward on my throne, holding my breath, even as I grappled with my emotions. I reminded myself that, unlike many of the other couples who’d miraculously managed to find their way back to each other, Caly and I were in a very different situation. Even if she remembered our past, those memories clearly meant nothing to her. They no longer mattered because she was fundamentally altered at her very core.
In fact, I’d witnessed her kill one of her own water nymphs a few days ago because the nymph had nearly drowned a child, and though that bit of information had been reminiscent of the emotions and character of Calypso from the other time, there’d been one glaring difference. No matter how furious she’d become, after Calypso and I had mated, she’d never killed again. It had been her line in the sand. Whether deserved or not, she’d always found another way.
True, in the end, she’d revived the nymph with a stern warning to never harm another child again, but I’d be a liar if I said that she was the same woman she was before. She was colder now. Angrier.
“The wheels in your head are spinning, Hades. Let me help you. Let me ease the burden, if only a little.”
I rolled my eyes, wishing like the bloody blazes that I could take her up on her offer, wishing it were as simple as all that. But she didn’t understand. I doubted anyone would.
“Look, it’s become obvious to me that you still care for her. I see you spying on her.”
I snorted. “If you’ve seen me doing that, then it also stands to reason you’ve been spying on me, little one.” I lifted a brow, daring her to deny it.
She didn’t. She merely shrugged and thinned her lips. “One does what one must when it comes to recovering that which matters most.”
“Let me guess.” I kicked out my leg. “You refer, of course, to love. But what if love is no longer enough? What if we’re both too different now? Changed.”
She curled her nose, looking at me as if I’d lost my mind. “You remember who you speak to, no?”
I chuckled. “I doubt you’d ever let me forget.”
She joined me in my laughter. “Well, I might be a bit pushy. I’ve been accused of that a time or two.”
“Try a million. You asked me what I remember, so let me be honest with you, Aphrodite. I remember it all. I do remember you. I remember that you were the only one who believed in me during my trial for murdering that traitorous Persephone who was not dead at all and my imprisonment for a crime I did not commit. It was you that saw me through all of that.”
She glowed as she stared down at her hands in her lap. “I always did have a soft spot for the maligned.”
My brows rose high, and I found myself wondering how she fared with her own marital woes. Even I, down here in the Underworld, had heard of the shame the forger had wrought on her. Publically breaking his oath to her in that way was a disgrace, and if I thought about it at all, I found myself wanting to wring the god’s pathetic neck for it.
Though in truth, I was far too selfish to actually do much for anyone right now. I knew I’d likely sunk to the lowest point I’d ever been in my life, and I was not proud of myself for it. But it was honest.
Scrubbing at my whiskered jaw with my long fingers, I stared at the crown of her head. “I do not deserve your friendship, Aphrodite.”
Her head whipped up, and a look of astonishment covered her features. “Of course you do.”
But I shook my head because deep in my heart, I knew it was true. “I’m a selfish and arrogant bastard. The very traits I loathe in my brothers, I’ve inherited. I stayed away, Dite, because seeing you reminded me of all that I’ve lost and what I can never have again.”
She quivered, but not with fear or pain. It looked more like steely determination that coursed down her spine. “You are not a quitter, Hades. And I won’t allow you to speak anymore nonsense to me.”
“You want to save something that’s no longer there, woman! Don’t you see that? The past is just that—the past. It exists only to a very few, but for most, it’s been obliterated from their minds and hearts completely.”
Jumping to her feet, she balled her tiny fists tight to her thighs. Her gown of fire whipped and curled menacingly around her curvy frame. “How can you say that to me? Have you not seen others already restore their happily ever afters? I know you have. As I said, I’ve been watching you. You took an active role in the Hatter’s and Alice’s romance, even going so far as to release Alice from the Elysian Fields. You say you don’t care, but you lie. I know you do.”
I shrugged. “So I helped out a few of them. So what? That changes nothing for me, and probably not for you. Accept it, Dite. The sooner you do, the sooner you can start learning to breathe again.”
Moving so fast I’d not even tracked her, she walked over to me and slapped my left cheek so hard I saw stars. Tears ran thick and heavy down her cheeks, and her face was screwed into a tight mask of anguish and ago
ny.
My brows knitted together in surprise as I rubbed at my still-throbbing cheek. But if I expected Aphrodite to apologize for slapping me, I’d have been sorely mistaken. She looked just as angry as ever.
“I could just kill you right now,” she said, voice a low, raw, shivering sound.
It was funny that Love would threaten to kill me, Death. And yet, it actually wasn’t funny at all. The empty space in my chest where my heart should be echoed hollowly, making it hard for me to take a proper breath.
Her finger was in my face, and her body bristled as she breathed heavily. I could see her throat working, but she couldn’t seem to force out any words.
Shame filled my soul.
“I… I am sorry, Aphrodite. I should never have said that to you. You of all people understand what it is to lose as we have. I had no right.”
The tightly controlled mask she wore evaporated, and in an instant, she wilted onto my chest, wrapping her arms tightly around my body, clinging to me as if I were the only thing holding her to the earth as she sobbed from deep within herself.
Cursing myself ten types of fool, I rubbed at her back and gently whispered in her ear that she was safe with me, that I was sorry, and that I was still her friend.
She seemed to cry for an eternity, and wherever her tears landed, beautiful and exotic birds suddenly breathed to life, flying off in mated pairs, their jeweled plumage adding a dizzying spark of color to my otherwise dark chambers.
Finally, she sniffed and pulled back, staring at me with eyes gone red and puffy.
“Am I forgiven, little one?” I asked gravely, as she rubbed at her cheeks.
Pursing her lips, she collapsed on the steps beside me, staring down miserably at her lap. “I suppose so.”
Knowing how badly I’d messed things up again, I slid off my throne and sat beside her. I held her hand and squeezed it gently, neither of us saying anything for several long moments. When she finally turned to look at me, I could see she was lighter in spirit.
“You need to remember love, Hades. That’s what I came to tell you. To remind you.”
“I know love. I knew it well. It has pierced me completely, and I can never be the same again. I am a rotten bastard now, Dite, but I still care deeply for you. Please do not ever think otherwise. I’ve just never been any good at dealing with rejection.”
She snickered and rubbed at her swollen nose tip. “Oh, that I remember well. We used to call you the hermit. Did you know that? Long before you mated with Caly. You always kept yourself apart from the rest of us, and for so long, we all thought you arrogant and cynical. But then I got to know you, Hades, really know you, and I realized just how wrong we all were. You and I deserve better than this new reality. This isn't the life we were meant to lead. You must know that.”
I nodded and smiled as I recalled all the many names the goddess of love had dubbed me with. They all thought that, because I’d not associated much with them in Olympus, I hadn’t a clue what transpired in their world. But I’d always known.
“I wish I had your faith, Dite. But I’ve lived far longer than you, and in truth, I’ve never been good at optimism.”
“You don’t need to be.” She turned to me, facing me head on and squeezing my fingers gently in her hands to make sure I was paying attention, “I can have enough faith for the three of us. Only give me a chance to prove that I am not some ridiculous and silly goddess like all the rest of them think me to be. What you need is to be reminded of that love. I know you felt it, but you’ve forgotten the depths of it. There is no greater power in all the worlds. Love can truly move mountains. It can turn the darkest hearts and make even the most cynical and jaded believe in something greater than themselves. You remember what you’ve lost, but you’ve forgotten what it truly means to love. I haven’t been watching only you and Calypso, Hades. I’ve been watching all of our friends, those I knew well and those I knew only a little. And I sense that soon, Rayale will follow an instinct that will lead her here to you.”
I frowned, but she rubbed at the brow wrinkle with the tip of her finger and shook her head. “I know you do not give up your dead, but the person for who she comes is not dead. They are, however, trapped in a pocket of time in your realm.”
“What? I haven’t—”
“It’s because you’ve been too absorbed in your own pain to look around you, Hades. No offense, but you have been a bastard lately, and I really, really need you not to be.”
I didn’t know whether to grouse or laugh because, by damn, she was absolutely right. Hermanias was running my affairs since I’d hardly dared to stir from my looking glass. I’d become obsessed with my study of this new Calypso, trying to make heads or tails of whether I had any chance at all of finding common ground with her again.
I opened my mouth, and Aphrodite tensed, no doubt expecting me to deny what she’d said. But I didn’t. Instead, I sighed, from deep inside me, no longer trying to hide my weariness, and patted her hand.
“Then tell me what to do, Aphrodite. Tell me what I should do.”
She beamed. “Watch. Watch and remember. Grant Rayale access to your realm, no strings attached, and then watch her. The female is fierce and fiery, and her odds are no greater than our own of reclaiming her happily ever after. But there is a core of steel in her. She simply doesn’t know when to quit. An admirable trait in a human.”
Though I still doubted I’d figure out how to reclaim Calypso, I decided then and there that I would trust Aphrodite. She’d never lead me wrong before.
I dipped my chin. “Then so shall it be.”
6
Hades
I woke up from strange dreams, still trapped in that hazy state between wakefulness and sleep. My memories scattered like chaff on the breeze, but I was able to recall bits and pieces.
A journey. I’d been on a journey, a long trek, but I hadn’t been alone. I’d been with another. A female. My female.
I rubbed at my chest, wincing as I sat up. But I wasn’t in bed. I’d not slept in my bed since this nightmare had begun. I’d simply passed out on my throne as I’d been watching the one called Rayale racing against the clock through the ley lines that had trapped her future in-laws inside of it.
I never slept. I didn’t need to. Calypso and I would sometimes lie in a bed after strenuous bouts of sex, cuddling and talking to one another for days at a time. But sleep had never been something we’d done. And yet, since I’d used that damned key on myself, I found myself simply collapsing right where I stood. I suspected it had something to do with the curse, or rather, remembering all that the curse had taken away from us. New memories were crowding my thoughts daily, reminding me of moments that’d once meant so much to me.
I scrubbed at my face, glancing around my eerily quiet throne room, which was so pitch black that the only light around was what little glow came off my looking glass, currently tipped precariously between my knees where it must have fallen when my body had forcibly shut down my mind.
Frowning, I gazed at the rushing movement of colors in the glass. I’d been watching Rayale do the seemingly impossible for days now.
When she’d arrived, I’d only given her three days, tops, to pull her in-laws out of the time loop trap the curse had flung them into, knowing full well she’d never succeed. Being stuck in Time for so long could alter a person’s consciousness. Rayale, who’d also been trapped in a Time loop during the games, had appeared to be unscathed by her years in the spatial dimension. But not so her in-laws. They’d both reverted to their baser and simpler forms.
Violet, also known as Little Red Riding Hood, who’d once been a killer thirsting for the blood of wolves, had become that fearless predator again. And her mate, the Big Bad Wolf himself, could barely reason higher than the beast he was forced to shift into night after night.
The task Rayale had been given had been completely impossible. But I’d watched that female do the miraculous. Somehow, her years trapped in Time had altered her, too, and now
she was able to control time itself, along with her other powers of flute enchantment. She was a force to be reckoned with, and I was almost ninety-nine percent certain that if anyone could pull off the impossible, it would be her.
It’d been many days since Rayale had entered the ley lines to bring back her in-laws, and I found myself growing increasingly fascinated by why she was doing what she was doing. She had no guarantee of reclaiming her own happily ever after, and yet it didn’t stop her from attempting all that she could to ensure that at least her in-laws would.
Additionally, for the first time since the curse was flung, Calypso had not only returned to my realm, but had given Rayale a message to give to me.
Where is my heart?
She’d said those exact words, verified by Charon himself, and I found myself questioning everything I thought I’d known.
She’d come for me, an expectation I’d stopped hoping for after months of very little contact between us. In the beginning, I’d hoped she’d come for it far sooner. And then I’d stopped hoping, believing she either didn’t know, or worse yet, simply didn’t care enough to bother with it.
Calypso had been so certain she would not return as she’d once been, but maybe the curse hadn’t harmed her as badly as she’d expected. Then again, Fable—the one we used to call our granddaughter in the other life and who I still kept my eye on—was trapped in a perpetual loop of water. Fable was frozen and could never again be unfrozen except by the hand of the one who’d cursed her—her own grandmother, Calypso, who seemed to have zero knowledge of her. If we unfroze Fable, those enchanted waters would rise and drown her.
Calypso had never again returned to our granddaughter’s castle, and so far as I knew, didn’t even recognize who Fable even was.
The more I watched Calypso, the more confused I became. On the one hand, she was taking on human characteristics far quicker than she said she had the first time. I could only hope that meant that, deep inside of her, there was still a part of her that remembered us all.