Chapter 6
When Lacy arrived home, the television and prune cake were calling her name, but she passed them both, sticking to the strict bedtime she had invoked for herself. By eleven, she was asleep, and she woke by eight the next morning, feeling good about getting into a routine again.
She ate a quiet breakfast with her parents and grandmother. She hoped the stillness was a positive sign, but she had the feeling it was a bad omen, as if her mother were saving all her displeasure for when Mr. Middleton arrived.
There was a knock on the door and Lacy answered it, thinking it might be Tosh. He often stopped by if he was out visiting some of his parishioners. It wasn’t Tosh, though. It was Jason, and he looked angry. He was also wearing his uniform.
“Are you working a double today?” Lacy asked, stepping out onto the porch. He didn’t usually work so early in the morning.
“Yes,” he said, his tone clipped.
“What’s wrong with you?” she asked.
“Oh, I don’t know, maybe it was the fact that I woke up in a panic with no idea where you were until I realized you walked home in the pitch black at night.”
“Technically, I jogged. And there was a bright moon.”
“Lacy,” he said, scowling. “What were you thinking?”
“That I didn’t want to wake you. You looked exhausted.”
“You could have taken my car,” he said.
“You told me stealing a cop’s car is a felony,” she said.
He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “It’s too early in the morning to deal with you. Just don’t do it again. You scared me.” He softened, smiling. “And you didn’t kiss me goodbye.”
“Sure I did. In fact, it was one of our better kisses. I think you should be asleep for more of them.”
He reached out, grabbing the waistband of her pants, though he didn’t use it to tug her closer. Instead he walked to her, closing the gap between them. “You kissed me while I was asleep?” His knuckles skimmed her bare skin.
“Yes,” she said.
“I don’t remember. I demand a rematch.”
She shook her head, tucking her hands behind her back so she wouldn’t be tempted to touch him. “I can’t kiss you when I’m this close to my mother. I’m convinced she has some sort of tracking device on me because she tends to pop into view whenever I have my lips on a man.”
“How many men have had your lips on them?” he asked.
“Not telling,” she said.
He tried a different track. “What’s so bad about me seeing your mom? She already knows me. And you’ve told her about me, haven’t you?”
She pressed her lips together, shaking her head again.
“No?” he asked, sounding dismayed.
“If you met her, you’d understand. I haven’t told her about anything, not her adoption or Barbara Blake or my inheritance.”
“Did you tell her about him?” he asked. Him being Tosh, she presumed.
She shook her head. “Grandma did, though.”
He relaxed at that, his smile returning as his knuckles grazed her navel.
“Did you tell your mom about me?” she asked, more as a way of fighting her inevitable reaction to his touch than because she thought he actually might have.
“No, but I haven’t talked to my mom in about a year.”
She frowned. “Jason, what are you doing for Christmas?”
“Working,” he said.
Breaking her no-touch rule, she lifted her hands and pressed her palms to his cheeks. The thought of him alone and working on Christmas made her unbearably sad. “Come to our holiday party,” she invited. “It’s on Christmas Eve.”
He turned his head, skimming her palm with his lips. “I’m working Christmas Eve,” he said.
“Jason, I’m worried about you. You’re working too much.”
“I’m fine, and I’ll try to stop by for a while on Christmas Eve. If it’s not busy then I can take my supper break here.” He paused. “Are you inviting him?”
“Yes, but I don’t know if he’ll be here or not. He might be flying back to Chicago to spend Christmas with his family.”
“I’ll put that on my Christmas wish list,” Jason said. “Speaking of Christmas,” he let go her waistband and touched his index finger lightly to her collarbone. “How do you feel about jewelry?”
Was he referring to the necklace he had already bought her? Before she could reference it, she remembered that she wasn’t supposed to have opened it until Christmas. “I like jewelry,” she said. “But you don’t have to buy me anything, Jason.”
“Where’s your Christmas spirit, Red?” he asked.
In New York with my sister and ex-fiancé, she thought.
“Stop,” Jason commanded.
“Stop what?” Lacy asked, surprised at his harsh tone.
“Stop looking like a puppy that’s just been kicked. I am so tired of seeing you mourn for that loser who obviously didn’t deserve you anyway. Just get over it already.”
Lacy wriggled free of his embrace, which wasn’t easy since she was pressed against the porch. She sidestepped him and placed one hand on the door. “Gee, Jason, why didn’t I think of that? Problem solved. I’m over it now. Thanks for the help.”
“I didn’t mean it like that. I swear your temper is worse than some of the drug addicts I deal with. I simply meant that I care about you, and I’m tired of seeing you in pain. I want you to move on.”
“Don’t you think I want that? But I don’t know how to let it go.”
“Well, figure it out, Lacy, because it’s obvious you can’t be with anyone until you let it go.”
“What do you care?” she asked, becoming angry all over again. “You’re Mr. Confirmed Bachelor, remember? What does it matter to you if I’m able to be in a relationship again?”
“If you have to ask the question, then you wouldn’t understand the answer,” he replied, smiling at her perplexed expression. “I need to get back to work. If I ever get fired, it’s going to be because of you and the disruption you cause in my life.”
She opened her mouth to respond, but he pressed his finger to her lips. “Save it for next time, Red. I really have to go. See you.” He leaned in. Lacy closed her eyes, but he bypassed her lips and kissed her cheek in a gesture that disconcerted her for its similarity to Tosh’s standard goodbye.
“See you,” she said dully. “And get some rest,” she added as he jogged down the stairs. He threw a wave over his shoulder, but didn’t otherwise acknowledge that she had spoken.
Her parents were locked in their room when Lacy entered the house. Were they arguing? She hoped not. Her grandmother was in the kitchen, staring listlessly at the empty counter.
“Grandma, is everything okay?” Lacy asked.
“Of course, dear,” her grandmother said.
Lacy resisted the urge to roll her eyes. Her grandmother’s hair could be on fire and she would still insist that not a thing was amiss in her life.
“Pastor Underhill called while you were outside,” Lucinda said.
“Did he say what he wanted?” Lacy asked.
“No, dear, but I told him I would give you the message he called. I think he was hoping for a callback.”
Lacy reached for her phone and paused. “Grandma, do you disapprove of women calling men?”
Her grandmother gave her a wry smile. “Not when it’s you and my pastor, dear,” she said.
Lacy smiled. Her grandmother was a matchmaker, but at least she was subtle about it. Tosh’s phone rang so many times Lacy thought it was going to go to voicemail, but at last he picked up.
“Hey,” he said, sounding breathless.
“Hey,” Lacy said, cheered by the sound of his voice. Over the last few months, she and Tosh had become inseparable, spending most of their evenings and weekends together unless he had a church function. She had only seen him once in the last couple of weeks, and she missed him horribly.
“I’m free t
onight,” he said, bubbling with enthusiasm. “Want to come over? I’ll cook for you.”
“By that do you mean you’ll order takeout?” she said. Tosh couldn’t cook, a fact she had learned the hard way.
“Must you suck the romance from every conversation? Yes, I’m ordering takeout.”
“Then I’m in. Are cookies still banned, or should I bring some?”
“Anything but gingerbread; I think I’m developing an aversion. Bring what you like.”
Lacy smiled because they both knew what he was leaving unsaid—that she would most likely be the one eating the cookies. Tosh didn’t have much of a sweet tooth, and Lacy felt like it was going against nature to not have dessert with supper. “What time?”
“I’ll pick you up at six,” he said.
“You know my mother is here,” she said, cupping her hand around the phone and lowering her voice. “You’re going to have to meet her.”
“Okay,” he said in a conspiratorial whisper.
She smiled. Unlike her, Tosh didn’t find meeting new people intimidating. For Lacy, it ranked up there with running and having deep conversations about her emotions—she would rather do almost anything else.
Since they were going to be seeing each other that night, they didn’t stay on the phone. Almost as soon as Lacy disconnected, her mother emerged from her room, still looking sullen and grumpy. To make matters worse, Mr. Middleton arrived just then, letting himself in as was his custom.
“Mother, he just walks in here?” Frannie said, though she was looking at Mr. Middleton.
“Mom,” Lacy said. “This is Grandma’s house. Her friends can do whatever they want.”
“I wasn’t talking to you, young lady,” her mother replied.
“Lacy’s right.” This came from Mr. Middleton who stepped protectively closer to Lacy.
Frannie stared at him for a second, abashed. “You have no right to interfere in a family matter.”
“This is your mother’s house, and if she wants me to go, then the decision should be hers,” Mr. Middleton added.
Everyone turned to look at Lucinda. For a few beats, she stood looking helplessly between her boyfriend and her daughter. Then, seemingly coming to a decision, she steeled her spine and stepped forward, taking Mr. Middleton’s hand.
“Frannie, what exactly is your objection to Tom?” she asked.
“He’s not my father,” Frannie blurted, sounding more like a teenager than a grown woman. Lacy held her breath, noticing Mr. Middleton’s slight flinch. Lucinda took another deep breath before plunging in again.
“Nonetheless, he’s your former principal and very special to me. If you can’t treat him with polite respect, then you’re not the same woman your father and I raised you to be.”
“This whole situation is just so unfair,” Frannie said, beginning to cry.
Lacy supposed she should have some sympathy for her mother. If something happened to her father, she would have a hard time seeing her mother with a new man. But the tears were too reminiscent of Riley and one of the tricks she had always used to get her way for Lacy to feel much sympathy. Cynically she wondered if her mother expected her tears to have a softening effect on her grandmother. What did she expect her mother to say, “Go away, boyfriend, my grown daughter is having a tantrum?”
In the end, it was Mr. Middleton who said that, or something similar. “Maybe I should give this situation a little space until things calm down,” he said.
Lacy and her grandmother looked at him in surprise while Frannie kept up her hysterics and Lacy’s father looked helplessly around the room—probably for escape. The whole situation was just so sad, Lacy thought. It would have been bad enough if it was simply a daughter rebelling at the idea of a new man in her mother’s life, but there was so much more going on. There was a father, desperate to know his daughter, the daughter who was now rejecting him, banishing him to spend yet another lonely Christmas without his family.
“No!” Lacy hadn’t meant to shout the word, but that was what she did. And then, to make matters worse, she burst into tears, too. She had never resorted to using tears as a weapon, reserving them for times when she was truly upset. Now must have been one of those times, because she was helpless to stop her crying. “Mom, you can’t send him away.” She went to stand next to her grandfather, clasping his hand. “No one is saying you have to have some type of immediate bond with him, but you have to give him a chance.”
“Christmas is for families, Lacy,” her mother said, sounding remarkably composed despite her tears.
“He is our family,” Lacy said thickly, swiping at her eyes. “We spend all of our waking time with him, and we love him. And if he goes, I’m going with him.”
“Lacy,” everyone said at once in completely differing tones.
“She’s right, Frannie.” This came from Clint, Lacy’s father. Now everyone turned to look at him in surprise. Like Lacy, he saved his emotion for the big things, but he sounded legitimately upset now. “We can’t come in here and tell Lucy how to live her life. And it’s not like she’s dating a tattooed swindler. This is Mr. Middleton we’re talking about. We know him, and we know he’s a good man. Why don’t we all take a deep breath and begin again?”
Frannie looked around the group, dismayed at having lost her only remaining ally. Her dismay fled, only to be replaced by defiant anger once again. “Fine, if that’s the way everyone wants it, then just fine!” Flinging out the words, she turned and stormed down the hallway to her room, slamming the door.
Lucinda sighed. “It’s like she’s fifteen all over again,” she muttered.
“She’ll come around,” Clint said unconvincingly. “She just needs some time to adjust. I’ll talk to her.” He turned and plodded down the hall with measured steps as if he were heading to impending doom. Maybe he was.
“Maybe you should just tell her,” Lacy suggested softly once her parents were safely concealed in their room.
Mr. Middleton and her grandmother shook their heads simultaneously. “I think that would make things even worse,” Lucinda said. “Although she’s always liked her theatrics, she’s never been one to handle real drama well. She likes her life routine and predictable. Throwing something so large at her at this late stage might be a blow from which she’ll never recover. I just want the remaining years we have together to be as peaceful as possible.”
“I agree,” Mr. Middleton said. “We’ll have to hope that she makes peace with the situation. And if she doesn’t…” He let his words trail off. Lacy wondered what he would say next. If she doesn’t, then what? Surely he wouldn’t leave their lives? If her mother didn’t make peace with the situation, then they would live in constant stress until one of them died. What sort of life was that? None. Lacy’s stomach began to twist in anxiety, hating the situation.
Mr. Middleton put his arm around her shoulders and gave them a squeeze. “C’mon, kiddo. Let’s get some fresh air and a coffee. We’ll talk about anything but what’s happening here and give us both a break.” Lacy nodded and he leaned forward to slip his other arm around Lucinda. “Will you be okay while we’re gone, Lucy?”
Lucinda slipped her arms around his waist and hugged, closing her eyes and resting her head on his shoulder. Lacy had never seen her stalwart grandmother draw comfort from someone else before. It was a revelation; her grandmother had needs of her own, comfort and security being chief among them. Why couldn’t her mother see how much Mr. Middleton meant to her grandmother? How much he meant to Lacy?
“I’ll be fine, Tom,” Lucinda said. “I’ll work on supper.”
Lacy and her grandfather smiled, knowing that being in the kitchen was Lucinda’s own brand of therapy. Mr. Middleton leaned down and kissed Lucinda then, and not his usual brusque kiss on in the cheek, either. The kiss was chaste and brief, but it stirred something deep within Lacy as she watched the affectionate exchange, something that recognized the deep love and respect between her grandparents and made her yearn t
o find something of her own.
Unbidden her thoughts turned to Jason. There was no doubt they had explosive chemistry. They couldn’t seem to get within five feet of each other and not touch, but what happened when the chemistry wore off? What happened when people were too old or too sick to use physical touch to convey emotion? How did one find lasting happiness based on mutual respect and admiration? Lacy thought she had found that once with Robert, but he had cheated on her and broken her heart. How could she ever hope to find it again?
“What’s the matter, Lacy?” her grandfather asked, keeping his arm around her shoulders as he led her from the house. “Don’t tell me the situation with Frannie is bothering you this much.”
Lacy sighed, not wanting to unload all her problems on him. “I guess Christmas can work to make me sort of blue sometimes,” she said, though this was the first time it had ever happened to her. Previously Christmas was a blessed event, something she looked forward to all year long. Maybe now that she was dreading it, she was an official grownup.
“Christmas can be hard when you’re feeling down,” he said.
She bit her lip, feeling bad for feeling sorry for herself when he had spent so many Christmases alone. “What did you do all those years without us?” she asked.
“For a lot of years, I spent Christmas with my sister and her brood. Believe me when I tell you that being around a lot of wild, misbehaved children can make one thankful for bachelorhood. The last few years, Peg and I spent the day together.”
“Do you miss her?” Lacy asked, feeling torn. She wanted to honor his friendship with Peggy, but the woman had killed her biological grandmother. By all accounts her grandmother hadn’t been a saint, but still, there was such a thing as loyalty.
“Yes and no,” Mr. Middleton said. “We were good friends, but there’s a difference in what Peggy and I shared and what your grandmother and I share. One pales in comparison. I’ll let you figure out which one.” He smiled, not taking his eyes off the road.
Lacy faced forward with a smile of her own. “Are you going to visit Peggy in jail?”
He nodded. “I visit her every week. Peg was a good friend to me most of my life, and I can’t discount that because she did one horrible thing. I’m disappointed in her for her choices, but I still care about her. Plus, she has no one else.”
Lacy bit her lip, her smile fading. How sad to be alone. As much as her family was driving her crazy, she still had them, and they were there. And as much as Tosh and Jason were too busy to spend much time with her, they were still her friends. Peggy had no one. “I don’t want to be alone,” she blurted.
“You won’t be,” Mr. Middleton said confidently.
“But I’m reserved with my emotions, except anger,” she added truthfully, thinking that Jason and Tosh would both say the same thing if they were here. For some reason, showing her temper came much easier to her than showing affection or anything else.
Mr. Middleton chuckled. “I was a bit of a hothead myself when I was younger, and so was Barbara. But age brings wisdom, at least for some of us. You’ll learn how to control that temper.”
“But will I ever learn to open up and tell people how I really feel?” she asked.
He opened his mouth and paused. “I guess that’s up to you,” he said at last. “I’m learning, but I’m an old codger, and it’s taken way too long. I hope you’ll learn long before I did. When I think of all these wasted years I could have been with Lucy if only I had said something sooner.” He frowned, shaking his head. “Well, I don’t want that for you. If you love someone, you should tell him.” He paused again. “Do you love someone?” he quirked an eyebrow at her.
She laughed. “Are you matchmaking?”
He shook his head. “Wouldn’t dream of it. I just want to know who I need to be watching out for. Jason, for instance, or Lucy’s pastor. Which of those do I need to worry about?”
“Neither right now,” Lacy said, sighing. “They’re both so busy I’ve hardly seen them lately. Who knew cops and pastors were busiest at Christmas? You’d think people would take a break from being needy once in a while.”
He laughed and she could see the tension draining from him. “You’re going to want to curb that uncharitable attitude if you plan to be a pastor’s wife or a cop’s wife, Lacy. It probably wouldn’t go over well in either case.”
She smiled, thinking how remote the chance was that she would marry either Jason or Tosh. “I think I’m safe for the time being,” she said. “I can resent their jobs as much as I want, especially while they’re both being taken away from me.”
He took her to the coffee shop and they grabbed their usual table, talking about anything and everything but the tension waiting for them back home. Lacy’s attention was grabbed by a pretty blond sitting a few tables over, the same pretty blond who had been Jason’s date to the FOP banquet. Lacy tried to concentrate on what her grandfather was saying, but her attention was repeatedly snagged by the other woman.
She was very pretty and sophisticated, and she was studious as she worked over the papers spread before her. Who was she? Lacy was certain she didn’t live in town because she had never seen her before. But what was she doing here if she wasn’t here for Jason?
Then the bell over the door chimed, admitting another customer, and Lacy had her answer. Jason, still in his uniform, zeroed in on the blond and walked straight to her, saying something that made her lookup with a smile and a laugh. He was smiling, too, as he took his seat across from her. Then he looked up and saw Lacy staring at him. He winked before returning his attention to the blond. And after that initial greeting wink, he didn’t look up again.