Mason sighed and nodded. “Yes, I suppose you do.” His hand on Kai’s shoulder squeezed it before letting go. “Go easy on her, boy. She had her reasons for keeping you in the dark.” Mason was a little surprised he’d said that. But, regardless of what had happened between him and Kai’s mother, she had only been trying to protect her son, by sheltering him from the truth.
Kai sighed and nodded. Mason was again proud of the man before him and in a surprising flood of warmth, reached out to give him a swift hug. Kai stiffened a bit at the gesture, then loosely hugged him back. Embarrassed by his own display, Mason pulled back and cleared his throat. “Well, take all the time you need to, Kai.” Thinking a moment, he added, “Getting tickets can be tricky this time of year…I’ll make arrangements.”
Kai cleared his own throat, obviously touched. “You don’t have to…thank you.” Mason smiled and turned to open the door. Just as he was walking through it, he heard Kai say, “I’ll call you when I get there.” Mason twisted to look back at him and Kai shrugged. “You know, just so you won’t worry…about me.”
Mason’s throat closed up and he could only smile and nod. Quickly leaving before the emotion could choke him, Mason darted to his car. How strange. He’d definitely never anticipated the range of emotion he felt around his child. He suddenly understood Leilani’s need to shelter him, protect him. Closing his eyes briefly, he wished his son a safe journey.
A silent car ride later, Mason pulled up to the research center, his true home, the one place on this earth that he felt most at peace. Just as he shut the car off, his cell phone at his hip started to ring. Wondering if perhaps his son had more to say to him, he glanced down at the screen. Sighing slightly as he leaned back into his leather seat, he contemplated just letting it ring.
As the trill filled the suddenly tiny feeling cabin, Mason watched two of his employees greet each other at the front door. Louis and Missy. A strange pair, but effective at their jobs. That made up for a lot of their eccentricities to Mason. The work, that was what really mattered, to all of them here. But those two would never have the future that Kai could have in this field. He had the brains, the work ethic, and the social graces required to really go places, even farther than Mason had, if he were honest with himself.
Glancing down at the cool, gleaming metal in his hand, a flush of pride for the son he had every intention of nurturing for the rest of his life, gave him the strength to connect the call. Pressing the talk button, Mason held the phone to his ear. “Good morning, Leilani.”
The voice on the other end wasted no time. “Did you find him? Is he alright?”
Mason paused. He could tell Leilani about the situation with the girl, the cousin. He was pretty sure Leilani didn’t know about it. Shaking his head, he only told her, “Yes. He’s fine. He was staying with his…cousin.” Mason smiled slightly. The secret was not for him to share. Kai could explain it, if and when he chose to.
She sighed loudly in his ear, the sound taking Mason back to similar soft noises that had echoed in his head. It never failed to amaze Mason, how easily the woman could wrap herself around him, squeezing his heart to an almost painful point at times. Her voice was strained with worry when it finally came out again. “Oh, thank god. I was so worried…”
Mason had to imagine that Leilani hadn’t slept at all since he’d called her in the wee hours of her morning. Surprisingly, he felt a wave of guilt hit him over needlessly stressing her. Regardless of their twisted past, Kai was her son too, and from what she’d confessed to him before, Kai was all she had in the world. The thought of losing him…of not knowing where he was or how he was… Finally able to understand the feeling of having a child in the world, Mason almost couldn’t comprehend that level of torment. Sighing himself, he massaged the bridge of his nose. “I’m sorry to have worried you, Leilani. He really is okay…just processing.” Processing in the arms of a beautiful woman, but definitely still processing.
A tired exhale met his ear. “He knows…I can’t believe he knows now. I got so used to him…thinking what I wanted him to.”
Mason’s lips twitched into a wry smile. “Yes, you do prefer people to think what you want them to, don’t you?” Knowing that sounded very bitter, he quickly added, “He’s an adult now, Leilani. He will find his way through this and come out a stronger man for it.”
Again that swell of fatherly pride filled him, surprising him, and Mason was sure, for the first time in all of this, that the truth coming out was for the betterment of all involved. Perhaps Nathan was correct after all? Perhaps the truth did matter. Sometimes you had to cut deep into a wound to remove the infected areas, before the true healing could begin.
“Does he hate me?” Leilani whispered, her voice sending a small spark of compassion through Mason.
He smiled and shook his head at the woman who couldn’t see him. “I don’t know, Leilani…but from what I’ve learned of the boy so far, he’s quite understanding. I won’t speak for him, but he seems the type that is capable of tremendous amounts of forgiveness.”
A long pause, then, “Maybe he gets that from his father?”
Mason closed his eyes, clearly hearing the true question there. Do you forgive me? Could he ever forgive her? Was there anything to forgive? She had stayed loyal to the man she had taken vows with. Right or wrong, painful or not, she had decided to honor her promise to him. Could Mason truly blame her for that decision?
“Leilani…there is nothing between us that needs forgiveness. You did what you had to, to survive. I did what I had to, to survive. We are, if anything, survivors.”
Leilani chuckled slightly. “Thank you, Mason, for being there for him. For finding him, for speaking with him, for being so…you. Thank you.”
The love and sympathy washing over him with those words brought tears to Mason’s eyes. Right or wrong, he still loved the woman. Thousands of miles hadn’t severed it. A couple decades apart hadn’t diminished it either. Some things, Mason decided, were just eternal. “You’re welcome, Leilani. Thank you for finally telling me…he was mine.” His voice choked and that tear finally escaped him. He quickly brushed it aside, peeking back at the door to see if his fellow researchers were watching. They weren’t; he was alone in his moment of wistful grief.
Sniffling herself, Leilani sighed again. “I suppose I’ll need to talk to Kai…explain myself. Did you tell him about us?”
Mason nodded, before he answered. “Yes, I told him the entire story, beginning…to end.” As the word left his lips, Mason wondered if there was ever really an end between them, especially now, now that they shared the genetic responsibility of Kai…his son.
She sniffed again. “Good. He should know that, if anything, he was created out of love…real love.” She sniffed again and Mason imagined the tired, worn woman’s cheeks were wet with a torrent of tears. “I love you, Mason.”
Mason smiled into the phone. “And I love you, Leilani.” He shook his head as another tear fell. “You know, we may have made…so many mistakes…but I don’t believe Kai is one of them.” Reminiscent pride swelled as he thought of the man who shared his blood. “He is…amazing, Leilani. We created a pretty spectacular child, sweetheart.”
He heard her sigh into the phone again, but this time, contently. “Yes, yes we did, Mason.” She paused for a moment and Mason pictured her tilting her head, her long, dark hair falling loosely over a bare shoulder. The vision brought back a lifetime of aches. “Given the situation over again, Mason…I don’t think I’d change a thing.” Mason smiled and was about to answer, when she interrupted his thoughts. “No, I take that back…I’d change one thing.”
Mason’s heart picked up a bit as he waited for her explanation. When she didn’t give it, he whispered, “And what would that be…?”
A long, pregnant pause filled the silence of his car, only amplifying the thumping beat of his heart. When he could nearly not stand that silence anymore, he heard her softly say, “I’d have picked you, Mason. If I were allowe
d a redo…I’d choose you.”
Chapter 24
Life’s Little Surprises
Kai smiled as his hand curled over the doorknob leading him back to the room that held the woman he loved. As he twisted it, thoughts of sitting down with Mason…his father, filtered into his head. It had gone much differently than he’d ever pictured that conversation going. Not that, before a few days ago, he’d ever given much thought to having a sit-down like that.
During Kai’s twenty-three years on this earth, it had just never even entered his head that there was even a possibility that the man who’d raised him, wasn’t related to him. But who would ever think that? As children, you’re told a fact and you cling to it. Your parents are your parents. Your family is your family. It’s pretty much the foundation upon which most lives are based. Having that yanked away…Kai almost felt like one of those people you heard about on TV, the ones who find out late in their life that they were adopted, and that the family they’d assumed their whole life was theirs, wasn’t.
As Kai opened the door to Jessie’s bedroom, he had a brief moment of sadness wash over him. He almost wished that that was the case for him, for everyone involved. As he stepped through the door, he thought over Mason describing Kai’s mother; he obviously had loved her deeply, maybe he still did. Kai thought over the man who’d raised him, the heartbreaking divorce that had split his family in half; it had obviously shattered Nathan too. Kai even thought over his mother – torn between two loves and losing them both. All in all…if he’d found out that he was adopted, it definitely would have been a lot less painful, for a lot more people.
Kai’s creation had sort of cleaved a path of destruction through many lives. Kai paused as he shut the door behind him. He wasn’t sure how to feel about the whole thing. Staring at the sleeping form of Jessie lying in bed, clutching Kai’s pillow to her chest like she was clutching him, he smiled…and let it go. Whatever torment his existence had created wasn’t his fault. He didn’t ask to be born, nobody did, and he in no way could have altered the way he was conceived. Not even his parents could have altered that, not without altering him.
Any changes to his parents’ past would have resulted in a different child being born into the world, not Kai. Anything modified anywhere, would have led to a future that did not have Kai being in this bedroom, listening to his heart quicken as he watched Jessie lightly breathe through her barely parted lips. And at this moment, Kai liked where he was…loved it even.
A soft smile was on his lips as he climbed into the bed behind her. Wrapping his arms around her tight, he buried his head in her shoulder. Inhaling the calming sense of her, the loose strands of her curls tickling his cheeks, he laced his fingers through hers. She stirred under his touch, pushing her back into him, almost like she wished they were closer.
“Hey, did your dad leave?” she asked sleepily.
Kai exhaled softly, bringing his mouth up to kiss her ear. “Mason left, yes.”
She stretched the sleep out of her body and twisted her head to look back at him. Unlacing their hands, she wrapped her fingers around to touch his cheek. “And how are you doing?”
Kai propped himself up on his elbow as he looked down on her; warm, compassionate eyes stared back up at him, just a hint of desire in the dark depths. Shaking his head at her never-ending concern and love, he moved her arm and twisted her around, so that she was on her back beside him. “I’m…fine, Jessie.”
She ran her fingers down his chest, unconsciously tracing the curve of his tattoo under his shirt. “You sure?”
He leaned down for a long, slow kiss, only answering her when he was satisfied. “Yes, I’m fine.” Kai sighed as he pulled away, his fingers brushing a stray strand off her cheek. “We should go see Gran though…she’s probably worried.”
Jessie sighed too, nodding as her arms laced around his neck, pulling him back to her lips. “Yeah, okay…in a minute,” she muttered between their mouths.
Kai chuckled but deepened their kiss, angling his head to feel more of her mouth on his. Between the softness of her lips, the teasing flick of her tongue, Kai began to wonder if he’d ever get used to making love to her. He didn’t think so. The fire she ignited in him, even with just a simple swish of her hips when she walked past him, was beyond anything he’d ever felt before. Every time with her felt like the first time. He wasn’t sure if that was because of the intense level of love he felt for her, or because he’d been so sure that he’d never freely get her. As he lost himself to her soft moans and pleas for more, his hands running over the wondrous curves of her body, he thought that maybe that was one mystery that he could be content with never knowing the answer to.
When they finally drug themselves out of Jessie’s bed and out of her front door, Kai found himself actually blinking a bit in the bright light of day. Chuckling, he thought that maybe they’d been sequestering themselves a bit too much in Jessie’s relatively dark bedroom. As he turned to watch Jessie shade her eyes from the sun, he thought she might be thinking the same thing.
Smiling warmly, Jessie grabbed his hand and walked with him to her truck. As she started it, butterflies started to come to life in Kai’s belly. Speaking with his newfound father was one thing, he’d only just met the man, but speaking with his grandmother, the woman who had loved him his entire life, even knowing that she had no biological reason to, was making Kai anxious. He wiped his palms on his jeans, for once quite warm.
Without a word, Jessie placed her hand over his; it was cool, she was calm. Kai clenched it back, grateful for the strength that just her presence gave him. She nodded at him and he nodded back, neither one needing to verbalize the moment.
Kai wondered what he would say to the woman he’d known only as Grandma his entire life. But he wasn’t a grandson to her. He was nothing to her really, just her son’s ex-wife’s bastard baby. He could definitely see why Gran did not like his mom. Regardless of the torturous situation Kai’s mother had found herself in, ultimately she’d hurt Gran’s son. As a mother, that level of betrayal was probably unforgivable.
Kai was absorbed in these thoughts as Jessie made her way through the frozen streets of Denver. He was really only distracted by these thoughts when the squeals of sirens and the flashing of swirling lights broke him out of them. Jessie pulled over as a fire truck and a police car raced passed her, the speed of the vehicles making her truck shake. She looked over at Kai, her face showing concern for whatever poor soul needed such assistance on this chilly day.
Kai glanced over at her and then back to watch the rescue vehicles. As Jessie pulled back into traffic, he watched the mammoth fire engine pull into a disastrously familiar street. “Jessie,” he whispered, ice flooding his veins.
He heard her gasp, but couldn’t pull his gaze from the disappearing end of the police car to look. As Jessie’s truck surged ahead though, he knew that she knew. He knew that she’d pieced it together just as quickly as he had. The poor soul needing assistance today lived on their grandmother’s street. Their grandmother was old, frail, even if she pretended not to be. She’d already suffered from a painful fracture just a few months ago. What if she’d fallen again? What if she was really hurt? What if…?
Jessie’s truck slid out as she took the right angle to Gran’s street way too fast. Kai grabbed the “oh, shit” handle above the door, but didn’t say anything about her fishtailing around the corner. His throat was too locked up with fear to say anything anyway. He didn’t know how he’d forgive himself if she had been lying in her home, hurt, while he’d been…busy with Jessie.
As Jessie slid to a stop as close to Gran’s house as she could get, Kai thought that the entire neighborhood had come out to watch the spectacle. His heart racing, Kai couldn’t even see much of what was going on. The fire truck that had breezed past them was angled along the side of the road, partially blocking traffic as it rested beside the parked cars. The police car had parked sideways, helping to keep back the flood of curious bystanders. As Kai and
Jessie raced through the crowd on the sidewalk, trying to understand what was going on, the whine of an ambulance siren cut through the air.
Dread filling him, Kai watched the lights as they flashed in a repeated circular pattern. The vehicle slowed as it approached Gran’s house, the people and vehicles on the road impeding its progress. Kai wanted to shout at the mob to move, to give the medics space, but at that moment, the ambulance siren went dead, the lights shut off.
Kai shoved his way through the crowd then. Something about the ambulance halting its urgent wails signaled doom to Kai. If they were no longer in a hurry to save the person inside…then it was only because…they were too late.
Shoving his way through the mobs created a stir that didn’t go unnoticed. By the time he got to the squad car, the wave of people around him were irritated. Kai was sputtering something about letting him pass, he needed to pass, but it was the uniformed officer grabbing his shoulders that focused his attention on anything other than where Gran was.
Holding him tightly, the officer informed him that he needed to wait on this side of the squad car. Shaking his head at the man, Kai heard himself say, “Please let me go through…that’s my grandmother’s house.”