We talked more about our past dating experience. I glossed over the times when I’d had sex, but she wanted to know. I still didn’t give her everything because it didn’t feel right, and I didn’t think she needed to know absolutely everything. Those times hadn’t mattered. My time with her was the important thing. If I could, I would wipe out all those times and fill them with her.
At one point, I reached over and took her hand. She squeezed me back and the radio played the next song. It was one I hadn’t heard before and as I listened to the lyrics, I knew it was a love song. I smiled as the song played and felt my heart squeeze a little.
This was honestly one of the best days I’d had in my entire life and it was ending soon.
“I don’t want this date to end,” I said.
“I know,” she murmured and brought my hand to her lips.
Thirteen
Chase
The day had gone exactly to plan. Except for the part when we made out and got busy in the backseat, but that had been completely and totally worth it. I stopped at a gas station near the restaurant and brought out the fancy clothes I’d packed.
“You are such a sneak,” Cordelia said when I handed her a bag with her outfit (including shoes) in it.
“I try,” I said, and she scampered off to the grungy bathroom to change. When she came out, I almost fainted. I’d gone through her closet when she was at class and had picked a sparkly black dress I’d found in the back. I wanted to make sure that she didn’t notice that it was missing.
The dress was form-fitting and clung to every single curve of her figure.
“Holy shit,” I breathed. Her legs were on display and her breasts were pushed up and on display. “I almost don’t want to take you anywhere so no one else can see you because holy shit, Cordelia.” She did a slow spin for me, the glitter in the dress catching the sad lights above the gas pumps.
“You picked my sexy dress,” she said when she got back around. She’d done something with her curls and they were a little more defined.
“Did I? Oh, no, I didn’t mean to do that,” I said, pretending I was upset.
“Do you have a sexy outfit too?” she asked. I pulled out another bag and she squealed.
“Hurry up, I want to see,” she said, smacking my butt as I hurried to change.
I didn’t have a lot of fancy clothes and I wasn’t much of a dress person, so I’d found my favorite nice pair of black pants and paired them with a button-up shirt and a blazer. I felt more at home wearing that than I would if I’d put on a dress. I’d also brought a small silver bow tie that I’d bought on a whim, but had never worn because I didn’t really know how to wear it. I had learned how to tie one online and had practiced, but had never had the courage to wear this ensemble. Once I had the outfit on and the bowtie all set, I added some silver dangly earrings and a pair of black boots. I hardly ever wore makeup, but tonight I made an exception and put on some silver eyeliner and mascara.
I wasn’t sure what Cordelia’s reaction would be, so I hesitated before leaving the bathroom.
“Holy fucking shit fuck,” she said. She shook her head slowly. I hoped that was good.
“Is this okay?” I asked when she didn’t say anything for a while.
“I honestly don’t even know what I’ve done to deserve this moment, but I must have done something good because fuck, Chase. You look fucking incredible.” Okay, that had to be good.
“I didn’t have a dress,” I said, looking down at my pants and fiddling with the sleeves of my jacket.
“You look ... I just don’t even have words. And like, words are my thing. I usually talk enough for two people, but I have no words.” She puckered her lips and I gave her a kiss.
“You look hot as fuck. There. How’s that?”
“You look hot enough to fuck,” I said. I was still fired up from earlier in the backseat. Honestly, it had been hard to drive after that.
“Mmmm, maybe we can skip dinner and you can just eat me,” she said.
“Fuck, Cordelia, you can’t say things like that,” I said in her ear and then softly bit down on her earlobe. She whimpered and I pushed her up against the van.
“You can’t say things and then not expect me to do them. It’s like a dare.” I licked the side of her neck and moved her hair out of the way. She arched into me.
“I’m hungry and horny and I don’t know which one is stronger right now,” she said in a strangled voice. As if to make her point, her stomach growled.
I made a sound of frustration and pushed away from her a little, but not before I put a little kiss on her neck.
“Let’s feed you first. Food before fucking.” I normally wasn’t so free with my language, but it happened around her. And especially when I was turned on.
“Food before fucking. We should get that painted on a distressed wooden sign and put it above our doorway.” I spanked her ass and handed her into the van.
THE RESTAURANT WAS upscale and I’d been a little apprehensive about it, but I wanted her to have the best and this was the nicest place that I could afford close to school. The lights were low, there were candles and fine china, and a huge wine list.
I knew neither of us was going to get away with ordering wine without getting carded, so I didn’t even bother to try.
I ordered a Coke and she got a large Shirley Temple with extra cherries.
“You look so good, Chase,” she said. “I can’t stop saying it. You just do. You should dress like this more often.” I fiddled with my bowtie, hoping it was straight.
“I really wasn’t sure. I’ve never worn this before. I bought it when my mom took me clothes shopping and I told her it would be good for job interviews.” That had been a total lie. I’d been wanting a suit or something like it for a long time, but was too scared to ask. Funny thing was, my mom bought it for me without even batting an eyelash or making any comments. She told me constantly that she wanted me to be happy, no matter what that looked like. Still, I didn’t want to disappoint her. Not even a little bit.
“Are you worried about your parents?” she asked after our drinks arrived.
“I mean, no, but how will I know until I tell them? There’s no litmus test for this.” She sighed and reached for my hand across the table.
“I know.”
Soft music played in the background and she glowed in the light of the candles. I had an idea and I wasn’t going to second-guess it.
“Will you dance with me?” I asked. I stood up and held out my hand. A few people around us glanced over, but quickly went back to their own dinners and conversation.
“Yeah,” she said, taking my hand and standing up. The piano music wasn’t really appropriate, but it didn’t matter. She put her hand on my shoulder and I put my hand on her waist and our other hands clasped together.
I started to sway and she matched me.
“I’ve never danced like this with a girl before,” she said, laughing softly.
“Me, neither. But we’ll figure it out.” We had so far. We hadn’t figured everything out, but that would come with time, I hoped. Right now was all that mattered. The most beautiful girl in the world was in my arms and she was looking at me as if I was everything.
We danced for a while, and then we had to stop when our food came. The waitress didn’t comment at all on us dancing, and no one else seemed to have noticed. I still had the fear that a homophobe was going to pop out of nowhere and throw tomatoes or scream bible verses at us. I didn’t know if that fear would ever go away.
Cordelia got a burger that had fiddleheads on it with a pear and spinach salad. I’d gotten the house salad and the duck. I had never had duck, so I figured now was the time to try it.
“I feel like I’m not fancy enough for this food,” Cordelia whispered.
“I know what you mean,” I whispered back. We both put our napkins on our laps and Cordelia tried to decide if she wanted to eat her burger with her hands or a knife and fork. She tried the latter, but then g
ave up.
“Screw it,” she said, picking the burger up with both hands and biting into it. Her eyes rolled back in her head and she moaned.
“This is so fucking good,” she said, and an older woman at a table near us threw her a dirty look. I stifled a laugh as I tried to eat my salad as carefully as possible. I didn’t want to get anything on my clothes, especially my white shirt.
My duck was unbelievable. I wasn’t sure what to expect and I was totally surprised. The reputation of this place was well deserved. We finished our food and then split the chocolate torte.
I paid the check and then we went back out to the van.
“I have had some of the best food in my life today. You went above and beyond, Chase. This date has ruined me for all other dates.”
“Good,” I said, and she laughed.
BY THE TIME WE GOT back to our room, we were both exhausted.
“Wait,” I said, blocking the door from her. “I have to give Elise back her keys and do something. Can you maybe chill with Stella for a few minutes?” This was the only thing I hadn’t really been able to do ahead of time. I’d thought about giving my keys to Stella or Elise to have them set up before we got back, but I didn’t trust anyone else to make it the way I wanted. I had a hard time delegating.
“Yeah, sure,” she said, hiding a yawn behind one of her hands. She still had the sparkly black dress on and I could barely keep my hands off her. She took the keys and walked down the hall. I watched her move and nearly fell over. She looked almost as good as she did when she had nothing on.
She gave me a little wave as she knocked on Stella and Elise’s door and was admitted. I heard their exclamations about how good she looked and then the door shut.
I hurried to unlock the door and get everything done. I picked up the room that we’d sort of left as is this morning. Next was making the bed up, and then I pulled the battery-powered candles out and placed them around the room. I didn’t want to take a risk and set off the smoke alarms. That would definitely be a mood killer.
I had thought about putting on a sexy outfit, but honestly, I didn’t feel very sexy in the kinds of clothes that were supposed to be sexy. I liked what I had on, and I thought Cordelia liked it too. Letting her undress me was part of the fun. At least I hoped it would be.
When I was finally satisfied and had stopped fiddling with the locations of the candles, I texted Cordelia to come back. Just before she knocked on the door, I realized I’d forgotten the music and plugged my phone into my speakers. I’d made a playlist for tonight, too.
“Come in,” I said, hoping I sounded more confident than I felt. My voice trembled, but I took a breath to steady myself.
Cordelia peaked into the room.
“Oh, wow,” she said, closing the door and leaning on it.
“Do you like it?” I asked. It wasn’t as if I’d done anything major, but I hoped this was still good.
“You’re the most romantic person I’ve ever met and I cannot believe I get to be with you.” She crossed the distance between us and grabbed my face to kiss me. I kissed her back, but pulled away because there were things I needed to say.
“I’m ready. Tonight. I think. I want to try.” I had been thinking about it for days and going over and over it. I wanted to be with her.
“Are you sure?” she asked. I was tired of overthinking everything. I was tired of planning. Tired of stressing out. Tired of everything going on in my head. I just wanted all my anxiety to shut the fuck up for a little while.
“Yeah,” I said, and then pulled my jacket off and tossed it to the floor. I hoped that made a statement.
“Then how about you help me get this dress off?” She turned around and I started unzipping the top of the dress, my fingers trembling a little. I’d seen her naked before, but tonight was different. I exposed her shoulders and her black lace bra that was my favorite.
She helped me by taking her arms out of the sleeves, and then I pushed the dress over her hips and stomach and to the floor. Her panties were also black lace and matched the bra. I stroked her spine and she shivered. I pushed her hair over her shoulder and kissed her shoulder. She arched back into me, pushing her ass into the front of my pants. I groaned and grabbed her hips, pushing back.
Cordelia made a little moaning sound and I did it again.
“I just want you so much all the time and sometimes it’s so much I can’t even breathe,” she said. I knew what she meant.
I bit her shoulder lightly, and then followed it with a kiss. Was it bad that I liked leaving marks on her pretty skin? I hoped not. My hands caressed her hips and her ass, and she continued to rub against me. I continued my path across her shoulders and then turned her around.
“Do you want to see how much I want you?” I asked. Her eyes got wide, but she nodded.
“Yes.” Good.
I reached for her mouth and kissed her so hard that our teeth clicked together. I dove in with my tongue and she kissed me back with as much force. I backed her up until her legs hit the bed and then pressed her down until she was on her back.
“It’s not fair,” she whined. “I want to see you.” I took her hands and put them over her head.
“Later. Right now it’s my turn.” I squeezed her wrists. “Okay?” She nodded and I pressed her wrists into the bed.
“Leave them there.” My voice was commanding and I knew that she would do what I asked her. My blood sparked and fizzled in my veins.
I took my time, tasting every bit of her. Touching every inch of skin, pushing her bra straps aside and then helping her remove it altogether. Her panties followed, and she kept her hands above her head.
“Good girl,” I whispered, just before I settled myself between her thighs. I was still learning what she liked, but I had a pretty good idea of what could send her through the roof. This time, though, I was going to make her work for it. I wanted to tease her. To torment her. To hear her beg.
I licked her slowly and fluttered my fingers at her entrance. She bucked her hips up to bring my mouth closer, but I put my hand on her belly.
“Stay still,” I said. She made a sound of frustration. “Impatient girl.” My tongue went back to work, and I brought her to the brink, only to back off. She practically screamed in frustration, but didn’t move her hands. I was impressed.
“Chase, please,” she whimpered after I brought her just close enough again.
“What do you want, baby?” I said, leaning my cheek on the inside of her thigh. Her legs were shaking so badly that she couldn’t stay still anymore.
“I want you to make me come,” she said, not even messing around.
“You want me to make you come?” I curled my finger inside her, hitting the exact right spot. She jacked her hips up and nearly took my teeth out.
“Please.” The word was a mere gasp.
“If that’s what you want.” She made a garbled sound and I laughed a little as I finally put her all the way over the edge. Cordelia came like she did everything else, hard and soft at the same time. I brought her through it and rested my head on her stomach as the last shudders ripped through her.
“Fucking fuck,” she said, and looked down at me.
“You can put your arms down now,” I said, and she grunted as she brought her arms down from above her head.
“That was hot, Chase,” she said, running her fingers through my hair. “We can do that again.”
“You like it when I take charge?” I asked. I knew she did, but I wanted her to do it because she liked it, and not just to make me happy.
“Yeah, it’s fucking hot. I liked it. I like everything you do. It’s like you know what turns me on without me even having to say it. Kind of freaks me out sometimes.”
“If there’s anything I do that you don’t like, you can tell me. It’s not going to hurt my feelings. I just want to get you off in the best way possible. That’s my main goal in life.” She laughed and put a finger under my chin.
“Now get up here so I ca
n get you off.” Mmmm, I liked that. When she got a little bossy. I crawled up the length of her body and kissed her. She inhaled me and now it was her turn to undress me. We had a few mishaps when she tried to get everything off at once, so I had to help her a little to make sure I didn’t get strangled with my bowtie.
Cordelia got my pants off and lay me down on my back. I had been this naked with her before, but we’d never gotten my panties off. I always sort of froze up and backed out. No more.
She kissed her way down my body, paying special attention to my nipples as she kissed and licked them into stiff peaks that ached and throbbed. I let myself go as she made her way down to the edge of my panties.
“Can I take these off?” she asked, looking up at me. Her ass was up in the air and her hair was all over my thighs. I raked it back from her face and held it with my hands.
“Yes,” I said, and she hooked her fingers in them and I lifted my hips so she could get them off.
“You’re so fucking beautiful,” she said, and I knew she meant it. I still had to hit pause on the urge to cover my chest or my lower half. I didn’t hate my body, but being naked with someone else was new and scary for me.
“Can I kiss you, here?” she asked, pointing. Instead of answering her, I widened my legs and nudged her head down with my hands. She gave me one last look before she gave me a sweet little kiss. Even that was a shock to my system.
“Now who won’t stay still?” she said and kissed me again. I tried to keep my hips from moving, but it was difficult. And then she stuck that tricky little tongue out and licked my clit and I was sure she was going to be the death of me. Was that what I had been missing?
Instead of going back to my clit, she kissed up the insides of my thighs, getting just close enough, but not touching it again. I knew exactly what she was doing because I had been doing it not that long before. The ends of her hair added to the sensations and my brain was on sensory overload.