“I wish I had answers. All I know is I will devote everything I have to keeping you safe.”
* * * *
Getting through Customs proved easy. With the help of Matthias’ blue eyes, as a group they were waved through with barely a glance at their passports.
“I could get used to this,” Taz snarked. “Thank God we’re the good guys.” She carried Rafe’s laptop case, not yet willing to give it up to anyone else.
Matthias took her suitcase and loaded it onto his luggage cart. “That’s why we have the Tribunal, to make sure rogues who wish to take lives are eliminated. When someone starts preying on the innocent, they cannot be tolerated. Besides the obvious that we cannot allow others to be harmed, it would be too easy for someone to abuse their power, get careless, and then get arrested, and our secret would be exposed.”
“Do you really think the governments would release information about us?” Taz said. “I have a feeling they’d want to keep us under wraps.” She never was a believer in government conspiracies, black helicopters, or men in black. She believed Roswell was a weather balloon, and that Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone.
Then again, she never believed in vampires until a few weeks ago, much less suspected she was one.
Matthias stopped in his tracks and turned. Tim and Albert had to step around them with their luggage carts. Matthias kept his voice low. “I think they would pursue those like us relentlessly, lock us in labs, and experiment on us to try to duplicate the results to use for military applications.”
“You don’t have much use for the government, do you?”
He smiled the half smile that melted her every time. Damn, that was a lethal weapon.
“Not particularly. I spent too much time dealing up close and personally with them many moons ago. I also don’t have much use for lawyers.”
“Nice—hey, what’s that supposed to mean?”
He grinned, and she knew he was yanking her chain. “Cara, if I wasn’t madly in love with you, I’d mistrust you on general principles.”
“What about my dad? You like him.”
“Ah, but I’ve known Tim for several centuries, before he was a lawyer. He’s been many things in his life.” He kissed the tip of her nose. “Let’s continue this discussion elsewhere, shall we, love?”
Tobias nosed up to them. “Are we going to stand here all night, children?”
She laughed. It was hard to miss the gawkers who made the same assumption she had about Tobias’ identity.
* * * *
Timon answered the phone. “Yes?”
It was one of his henchmen. “They’ve arrived. We have a problem.”
“Yes, because why should it be any different than the last several botched attempts?” There was silence from the other end. “Well?”
“Sorry. Tobias Hawthorne is with them.”
Timon swore under his breath. He suspected this complication would bedevil them, but had hoped the eldest Hawthorne wouldn’t attend. “It shouldn’t interfere with our plans too much.” He hung up and scrubbed his face with his hands. He would be glad when this mess was over and behind him.
A smile crept across his lips. When it was over, he would enjoy watching Hawthorne’s face when he learned the Tribunal was no longer the supreme word on affairs in this world. It wasn’t instant gratification by any means, but it would happen soon enough, he had no doubt. Then he could tell them all to bow before him and end this stupid history of keeping silent and hidden. With Gerard’s resources, there would be no stopping them, a world ripe for the taking, as well it should be.
Chapter Seventeen
Taz and Matthias rode in the backseat of the rental while Tim drove and Albert rode shotgun. Tobias left on his own, in another car.
Matthias patted her hand. “Taz, you must promise me you won’t try to probe any of the Tribunal while we’re here.”
“Why?”
“Because I don’t want them to think you’re out of control.”
“You said yourself, a show of power to make them think twice before they screw with me.”
“Yes, but if you make them think a third time they might very well decide you’re too dangerous, too much of a threat.”
She studied him. “You’re worried about me, aren’t you?”
“Not worried about you. I’m worried about them. They don’t know you the way I do. I love you. I know your heart. Unfortunately, there are those who might fear your power out of jealousy.”
She finally nodded. “Okay. I’ll behave myself.”
“Don’t take it like that, Taz. That’s not how I meant it.”
“Well it’s how it came out.” How convenient, they were at the hotel. She shoved the back door open and stepped out without waiting for Matthias. Not only was the crawling out of her skin feeling back, she also dealt with an oppressive, heavy sensation, like the weight of the world rested on her shoulders.
At least the fucking voice wasn’t chiming in with its opinion.
Thank God.
Ever since touching down at Heathrow, Taz felt a pall settle over her, different from her earlier grief, but similar. Like it was coming from outside her. There was something else, too. A mental itch she had to scratch or go crazy.
Taz didn’t wait for Matthias to wake up the next morning. She dressed before dawn, took the rental car keys, and left him a note.
I’ll be back this afternoon, I need to go exploring. Don’t worry, I’ll be fine. If I’m delayed I’ll call the hotel and leave word.
She didn’t want to take a cell phone with her. She wanted to be alone without the world intruding.
She wanted to scratch this mental itch and see what it left her with.
Taz stopped for breakfast, then instinct more than anything led her to the M11. She followed it north, away from the city.
It was a cool, cloudy morning. Unsure why, she suddenly took an exit and stopped in a small town over an hour north of London. Taz wrapped her hands around the steering wheel and closed her eyes.
Why am I here?
“Flowers.” The reply breathed from her mind, not so much the voice, but a sad, melancholy thought.
Her eyes popped open. She hadn’t expected an answer, but that was right, wasn’t it? Just like the answer about which side of the bed Rafe slept on.
She located a small florist shop around the corner. Taz walked in, and while she’d never seen the stout clerk before in her life, Taz somehow knew her name was Ellen Axelrod and she had four children and had been married for over thirty years.
Not from reading her with her powers, either.
Maybe this was another fugue in the making? It sure felt like it.
Taz walked up to the counter and mustered a weak smile. Mrs. Axelrod smiled in return.
“’Allo, love. How can I help ye?”
Unsure what to get, Taz trusted her instincts. “I need two arrangements, please. Small ones. Lilies, and pink and yellow roses.”
“Ah, ye would be here for Mr. Collins’ order then. All right, love, are ye okay?”
The woman came around the counter, worried, and grabbed Taz by the arm to keep her from fainting. At the mention of Rafael’s name Taz felt the blood drain from her face. Her body went numb.
“C’mere, sit yerself down, miss.” Mrs. Axelrod guided Taz to a chair. “Ye don’t look well.”
She struggled not to cry. “Mr. Collins’ order?”
The florist nodded. “Aye, he gets the same thing every year when he comes in, always about this time. He preordered it a few weeks ago so I’d have time to put it together. He was getting ready to go on a trip and said he didn’t want to forget. Ye’re here for it, right?”
Taz nodded.
“Are ye okay, love? Ye look like ye’ve seen a ghost.”
She finally met the woman’s eyes. “I hate to be the one to tell you. Rafael died a couple of weeks ago.” A few days after placing the order, most likely.
The woman’s hand flew to her mouth. “No! Oh, love
, I’m so sorry. Were ye close?”
Taz nodded. That’s when her tears flowed, unstoppable.
Mrs. Axelrod put a comforting arm around her shoulder despite her own tears. “He was such a playful thing, so sweet. A real flirt. Such a good man, comin’ here for years, always getting’ the same thing.” The florist stepped around the counter to get the order. When she returned, her eyes were red. “I’m so sorry, love.”
Two small bouquets, wrapped in pink and yellow tissue paper, bound with green ribbons. They were small and tasteful, and Taz wondered the significance.
“Here ye go.”
Taz reached for her purse, and the woman stayed her hand. “Naw, love. Not today. These’re on me.” She patted Taz’s shoulder. “How is Mr. Hawthorne holding up?”
More guilt on her part. “He’s getting along as well as can be expected under the circumstances.”
“I know they’se very close, those two, even though Mr. Collins was usually the one to come in.” Mrs. Axelrod shook her head. “I’m so sorry. Please give him my condolences.”
Taz felt steady enough to stand, although her knees were iffy. “Thank you, I will. Are you sure I can’t pay for these?”
The florist shook her head. “Not today, love.” She studied Taz. “Ye loved him, didn’t ye?”
Taz struggled not to cry again. “He was the love of my life,” she whispered, staring at the bouquets. As she spoke the words to this stranger who somehow wasn’t, Taz knew the truth. Rafael was the love of her life despite all her love and desire for Matthias.
“Hold him in ye heart, love. That’s all ye can do.”
Taz made it back to the car and carefully laid the flowers on the passenger seat. She stared at them for a long time, trying to compose herself. This was too much.
She threw her head back and looked at the roof of the car. “What am I supposed to do with these, Rafe?” she screamed, glad the windows were up so passersby couldn’t hear. “What the fuck am I supposed to do with these flowers?”
She closed her eyes and cried, slumped over the steering wheel, wondering if it would ever get better.
And then the whisper in her brain.
“Drive, Taz.”
She took a deep, hitching breath and quit trying to figure it out. When traffic cleared, she pulled out and carefully negotiated the small town’s streets, away from the highway, into the countryside. Remembering to drive on the left was a challenge, but she managed.
“Where to? Where to?” she mentally chanted.
With a mind of their own, her hands turned the wheel, following roads that progressively worsened until she was creeping down something that looked like little more than a muddy, rutted sheep track. It ended at an old, tall iron gate protected by a heavy chain and new, shiny combination padlock.
Terrific. What the hell do I do now?
The voice told her.
She shut the car off and got out. I’m crazy. This won’t work. With trembling hands she turned the combination dial and tugged.
The lock popped open.
She closed her eyes and shuddered. She had to tell Matthias about this before she went crazy. At least this whispering presence didn’t sound as much like Rafael as the other voice did.
Glad she wore sneakers, Taz gently gathered the flowers and locked the car, then looked through the gate. The property was overgrown, but a cleared path wound through the brush.
She took a deep breath and followed the trail.
* * * *
Matthias shook his head and handed Tim her note. “Well, I suppose I can take care of my errand then.”
Tim put a hand on his shoulder. “Maybe this is best. Perhaps going there would be too much for her right now. You can have some time alone. I should think you need it, put some things in their proper place. It’s time to release the past, isn’t it?”
Matthias nodded. It would be the first time he’d gone there in years. Over eight years since his last visit. It was too painful for him most of the time. Rafael always went, every year, and always made sure to take care of things for him.
“Albert, please get me a car.”
Albert nodded and called the hotel desk for the arrangements. Twenty minutes later, with sunglasses to hide his red eyes, Matthias drove north away from the city alone.
* * * *
After fifteen minutes of walking, the winding path opened into a clearing. Taz stopped, reluctant to enter. What would she find?
“Go ahead. It’s okay.”
She couldn’t feel her feet anymore. Not from the weather, because the day had warmed, but because of her emotional shock. So this is what it feels like to lose your mind?
A soft, gentle chuckle in her mind was the only reply.
Dappled sunlight crept through the trees and scattered across the clearing. A square stone about two feet across, weathered and aged and green with lichen, lay near the center. Taz dropped to her knees in front of it, her heart racing, instinctively knowing its secret.
Sarah.
She laid one of the bouquets on it.
Ten feet away was a larger, smooth, round rock, about three feet in diameter. Taz carefully stood and drifted over to it. She started to sit and paused.
No, not there. She walked around to the other side and saw a small, natural depression in the stone and then she sat, carefully tucking the bouquet so it rested against the rock.
There. That’s right.
Then she closed her eyes and let the sudden wave of grief wash over her, as if an ancient ache even deeper than the one she felt for Rafael threatened to tear her apart. Unable to deal with the emotion, she gave herself over to it, sobbing a name into the sky and letting blessed blackness take her.
“Cassandra!”
* * * *
“What do you mean, a woman came in?”
Matthias didn’t want to remove his sunglasses. He’d cried plenty of private tears during the drive and didn’t want to share that with anyone. This was something he needed to do for himself as well as Rafe.
“Just that, Mr. Hawthorne. She nearly fainted dead away when I asked if she was ’ere for Mr. Collins’ order.”
Matthias closed his eyes and silently swore. “Auburn hair and green eyes?”
“Aye, that’s her. Poor love, she’s awful ripped up over him, isn’t she? The love of her life, she said he was. I’m so sorry about him, Mr. Hawthorne. Such a shock it must be for ye.”
Matthias would process her comments later. “Yes, it was, Mrs. Axelrod. Thank you. I didn’t realize she was coming for them. Just a miscommunication.”
“I’m so sorry, Mr. Hawthorne. He was such a sweetheart.”
“Yes, he was.”
Matthias waited until exiting the shop to break into a jog back to his car. What the fuck? How in hell would Taz know about it?
He tried to calm down. She must have sensed it, that’s all. She read it in his thoughts.
But why not tell him?
He started the car, now sure where he’d find her.
* * * *
Taz slowly opened her eyes. Her head rested on her arms, leaning against the rock. She sat back and wiped her face. How long had she been here? It felt like she cried a million tears from the way her nose felt stuffed up. Now she knew for sure, beyond any doubt.
This was where Rafael had buried his wife.
The stone felt cool beneath her palm, and in her mind she envisioned Rafael sitting in this exact place countless times over the centuries, the only time he allowed his tears to freely flow for Cassandra, his grief still as raw and painful as the night he took her life and released her from her pain.
“How did you know?”
She screamed and jumped, scrabbling away from the rock. In her anguish, Matthias had snuck up on her. He stood on the path where it opened into the clearing, watching her, his eyes unreadable behind his sunglasses.
She shook her head and sobbed. “I don’t know!”
In three quick strides he was at her side and dropped to
his knees, gathering her to him, holding and comforting her.
“I don’t know, Matthias, I swear. I just…It was instinct. I just followed the road and thought about flowers and she had them and then the road again and the gate…” She sobbed against his shoulder as he held her.
“It’s okay,” he said, spying the flowers on Sarah’s stone. “It’s all right.”
They sat there for a half hour with Taz in his arms. When she cried herself out, she looked at the markers. “I’m losing my mind,” she whispered.
“No, my love, you’re not.”
She nodded. “I am. How else do you explain it?”
He laughed, kindly. “I’ve been thinking about this task for the past few days. I wasn’t sure how to tell you, so I didn’t say anything. Obviously you sensed my thoughts.”
She sat up and looked at him. “Really?”
He pulled out a handkerchief and gently wiped her eyes. “I’m sure of it. I thought I had concealed it from you, but obviously I hadn’t.”
He removed his sunglasses and she studied his eyes. “Matthias, I heard a voice. Telling me what to do, where to go. It was intelligent, it wasn’t just a memory or an overheard thought. I keep hearing a voice.”
“Your intuition again. It simply put it into a context you could understand. Cara, you’re not losing your mind, I promise. We discussed this. You’re simply learning how to control your powers.”
She looked at the markers again, still not convinced, but hopeful. Was that all the phantom voice was? It wasn’t a voice, it was just stray signals from others?
“Taz, why not tell me you were coming here?”
She shook her head again. “I swear, I didn’t know. That’s what I’m trying to tell you! I just felt that crawling out of my skin feeling again, like something in my brain pounding at me and it wouldn’t shut up until I did it.” She looked around. “And I ended up here.”