“Right.” Taz had a thought. “Bartholomew was the only other person to know my identity?”
Matthias nodded. “Other than Albert, Tim, Grandfather, and Rafe.”
“Was it standard for other Clans to tell him about possible inductees into the supersecret sucker sect?”
Matthias stifled his grin. Dame Agnew looked horrified. At first Taz thought it was her humor.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have—”
“No, my dear, that was cute. You’re right, Torvald was the one who had contact with all the Clans about possible vampires. I accessed his computer files today so I have the list now.” She looked horrified. “Oh no!”
Matthias finally got on board. “You mean—”
Taz nodded. “We need to get word to all the Clans ASAP that they need to give them protection immediately.”
Dame Agnew looked at Taz. “I never thought about that. I haven’t heard of any problems.”
“Maybe I was number one on their list. If they can’t get to me and their mole is gone, they might try to grab as many as they can before they’re taken into hiding. I would suggest making calls right now.”
Dame Agnew nodded. “I agree. Excuse me.”
She left, and Matthias turned to Taz. “You’re brilliant, you know that?”
“I’m a tactician. I don’t want anyone else going through what I’ve been through.”
* * * *
Dame Agnew returned twenty minutes later. “Well, I’ve notified as many of them as I could by phone, sent personnel out to contact the rest.”
“Personnel?”
“Don’t worry. They’re taking secure satellite phones to their locations so they can call in and talk to me. Once we get this situation under control, however, I think you and I will sit down and have a discussion on changing how we do things around here.”
“One bad apple and all that crap.” Taz looked up. “Sorry.”
Dame Agnew smiled. “No apologies necessary, believe me. I have a crew searching Torvald’s home and going through his personal computer. I want every possible scrap of information we have about his dealings.” Her face hardened, and Taz had a feeling Dame Agnew was someone that, despite her age, shouldn’t be fucked with. “This Gerard fellow will wish he never started these games.”
Matthias tightly gripped Taz’s hand. “Get in line, Dame Agnew. No offense, but I get first crack at him.”
She nodded. “I believe you have a valid point, Matthias.” She turned to Taz. “Mind if I borrow you for a while, dear? I would like to talk with you alone.”
Taz looked at Matthias.
“It’s okay, Taz,” he silently thought to her. “I have always trusted her. I never trusted Bartholomew, neither did Rafe.”
“Okay,” Taz said.
Taz rode with Dame Agnew back to her home. The men would follow behind in a few minutes.
Chapter Twenty
The butler poured their wine and set the bottle on the table between them. “Thank you, Peter,” Dame Agnew said. “That will be all.”
He bowed and left them alone.
Dame Agnew smiled at Taz. For once, Taz felt totally at ease with a vampire not of their immediate “family.”
“My dear, you’ve had an upsetting few weeks, haven’t you?”
Taz nodded, hesitating before sipping the wine. The voice didn’t chime in, so Taz took that to mean it was safe to drink. “Upsetting doesn’t even come close to describing it.”
“I understand. It’s overwhelming.”
“What did you want to talk about?”
“This might be a painful subject, but I need your full honesty.”
Taz nodded, trying not to tighten her grip on the crystal glass.
“When Rafael was killed, did anything happen?”
The blood rushed to Taz’s face and Dame Agnew smiled kindly. “I understand there was an incident, earlier in the evening. That’s not what I’m referring to. I mean later, around the actual time of his death.”
Taz didn’t want to think about this. It hurt too much. “I had some pretty intense dreams. I don’t remember them, but I think it was around the time he died. They woke me up. Sounded like him screaming in my head. I–I didn’t know then what I know now.”
Dame Agnew nodded and patted her on the hand, her face growing serious. “Matthias and Tim told me you’ve had some incidents. About the voice.”
She nodded. “I’m going crazy,” Taz whispered. “All my life I’ve been in control. Now I feel like I’m falling and can’t stop and I don’t have a parachute. It’s just a matter of time before I hit the ground with a big-ass splat.” She looked at Dame Agnew. “Is it always going to feel like this?”
“Taz, I need to ask you a very large favor. Will you let me into your mind?”
Taz hesitated. She’d seen what could happen when one vampire took control of another, and it wasn’t pretty.
“I understand your hesitation. I want to see if there is an answer.”
“To Rafe’s death?”
“To some of the things you’ve been experiencing. I have an idea, and I’m not sure I have any answers. Before I say anything else, however, I’d like to know if my suspicion is correct.”
Taz finally nodded. “Okay.”
“Don’t worry. I won’t take over. You can always push me out. You’re more than strong enough. Simply picture letting me tiptoe around to look inside your closets, so to speak.”
“Okay.”
Taz put her glass down and closed her eyes. Then she felt Dame Agnew’s gentle presence. It wasn’t like when Matthias or Rafael were in her mind, it was a kindly, motherly touch. Taz relaxed and allowed her to roam the corridors of her conscious. Finally, she felt Dame Agnew going more deeply and hesitated.
“You don’t have to follow me. You can wait behind if you wish.”
And that’s exactly what Taz did.
* * * *
“Hello, my boy.”
Rafael turned, not used to someone addressing him directly. “Dame Agnew!”
They were in Rafael’s room, as Taz called it. The one she’d created for him at Yellowstone during the training exercises.
“What are you doing here?” she asked.
“When Caroline killed me, I threw myself at Taz. I didn’t realize exactly what was going to happen, but I could still feel her after…” He didn’t finish.
“After she played succubus with you?”
Rafe nodded, unable to meet Dame Agnew’s piercing gaze. “Yeah. Exactly. I still felt the connection with her, and once dumb-ass me gave Caroline control, I couldn’t get the damn bitch out. So I ran.”
“Into Anastazia’s mind.”
“I don’t know how to connect to her and tell her. I can’t always talk to her, only when it’s like she’s listening or in her dreams. I didn’t want do anything at first, but she was hurting so bad, I was trying to make her feel better. Then at Bartholomew’s I had to push forward hard to get her out of there.”
“It’s not fair to her for you to stay here.” She considered him. “You really love her, don’t you?” She patiently waited long minutes for his whispered answer.
“I felt like I had my life back.”
“And that’s why you threw yourself at her instead of Matthias?”
“She’s so strong. You know she was the only one who could’ve taken me.”
“You always were a horrible liar, Rafael.”
He looked away.
“How old is she? How old is her soul?”
“I don’t know. I’m not sure.”
“And she was also—”
Rafael nodded. “Before she was ever Cassandra.”
Dame Agnew shook her head again. “Don’t you think they have a right to know?”
“Dame A, you can’t tell them, please. Promise me. She’s got enough guilt on her plate as it is. She doesn’t need to know the truth about her past. She’s back with Matthias anyway, so does it matter?”
“There is a very, very old ritua
l. Most don’t know about it anymore. It is a chance, because if it doesn’t work you’ll be gone anyway. You won’t have any conscious memory of your past if it does work.” She detailed what she knew, and he turned from her. “But it has to be a willing sacrifice on the part of all three of you, Rafael. If you don’t perform the ritual correctly, it won’t work.”
“I don’t know if I could do that. I don’t know if she’d want to do that.”
“There is always the option of leaving, dear boy. At least with the ritual, you could live on, with them, the two that you love, that love you.”
He turned to her. “What about them?”
“Matthias is heartbroken. I don’t know how he hides the worst of it from Anastazia. I believe he would be willing to do anything short of sacrificing a life to give you this. I think you should tell him about her, that she is—was—Cassandra. Whether you tell him the rest is up to you. She is so grief stricken, so pained by what she did, she holds herself responsible for your death.”
He shook his head. “It wasn’t her fault. Please tell her that.”
“We’ve tried.” She paused. “They could get on with their lives if you do this.”
“Please don’t say anything to her about the ritual. When the time is right, I’ll talk to her. To them.”
She nodded. “I won’t. I must tell her you’re in here and she has to make contact with you. Be gentle with her, Rafael. She is still very fragile.”
* * * *
An hour later, Taz opened her eyes when she felt Dame Agnew leave her mind. The older woman looked at her. “My dear, I’m so very sorry for what happened,” she whispered.
She looked down. “It doesn’t change anything. I still lost control.”
“I can’t say I blame you. Vampire soup? I must admit, that was inspired. Do you understand the implications of what happened the night Rafael died?”
“What do you mean?”
Dame Agnew reached across the table for Taz’s hands. “I’ve heard about this one other time, centuries ago, when two very powerful vampires were in battle and one was mortally wounded.” She dropped the bombshell. “The dying one transferred his conscious to the other.”
“What?”
“You bear Rafael not just in your heart, but in your mind. His soul lives on, within you. What you felt during your dreams the night he died was him. He knew he was dying, and he threw himself at you because he knew you were strong enough to take him.”
“What?” Taz stood so fast the chair tipped over. “No!”
“The lost time, the ride from his condo in the car? That was Rafael. He was able to come to the surface for a while because you’d almost put yourself into a form of hypnosis between the drive and his music. Karaoke. Something about an MP3 player and a car radio? When you escaped from Bartholomew’s house, that was him helping you. The flowers. There were other times. When you were shot at Yellowstone, he appeared to you, trying to keep you from choosing death. He’s come to you in your dreams, and he is the voice you’ve been hearing.”
“No!” Taz gripped her head and circled the room. “I can’t—he can’t be!” She worked the ring on her finger and then realized what she was doing. “No! I don’t believe it!”
“Then search my thoughts. You are far more powerful than I ever was, even in my prime. You can tell if I’m lying or not.”
She launched her mind at Dame Agnew, harder than she meant, and the older woman rocked back in her chair. “I’m sorry,” Taz apologized, pulling back, but she saw the truth.
It took Dame Agnew’s full force of will to conceal the secret she promised Rafael she would tend.
“All the times you heard his voice whisper to you, the dreams, those were all him,” Dame Agnew said.
Taz could barely speak. “Does he—does he know he’s in there?”
Dame Agnew nodded. “He’s fully aware of what happened. Had anyone else seen you when he was in control, they might have thought you were sleepwalking. He can think and feel and to a certain extent, he can send his mind outside of you. That’s how he was able to help you evade the guards at Torvald’s house.”
Taz’s voice shook. “Does he hate me? Does he blame me for what happened?”
Dame Agnew smiled, shaking her head. “No. He doesn’t blame you at all, dear.”
That did it. Taz collapsed where she stood, sobbing, grieving and relieved at the same time. No one else blamed her for his death.
Apparently Rafe didn’t, either.
Dame Agnew knelt beside her, holding Taz as she poured out her anguish. It wasn’t like pulling at an old scab because the wound was still fresh and raw. It was like opening a barely constrained floodgate of grief and anger and guilt, a tidal wave of emotion that threatened to wash her out to sea.
After she composed herself, Taz asked, “What do I do for him?”
Dame Agnew shook her head. “Unless you want him gone, there’s nothing you can do. Not at this moment. One day there will be a time, if you wish to help him. He’ll tell you what he needs.”
“Then he’d be gone for good?”
She nodded. “Then he would be gone for good.”
“Does he want to be here?”
“He’d prefer not to be dead, but other than that, he doesn’t have an opinion one way or the other. He is very worried for you.”
“Please don’t say anything to Matthias.”
“You have my word.”
“Can I talk to Rafe?”
Dame Agnew brushed Taz’s hair out of her face. “Yes, child. However, you must figure that out on your own. No one can do that for you. I think once you’re ready to face him you’ll work out the logistics.” She stood and held her hand out to Taz. “Come on, let’s get you cleaned up. Matthias will think I’ve been scolding you.”
Chapter Twenty-One
Gerard scowled, looking at his phone before answering. “Yes?”
The voice on the other end sounded timid, hesitant. “We’ve had a complication.”
He growled. “What complication?”
The caller cleared his throat. “Timon has been incarcerated.”
“WHAT?”
The caller talked fast, out of fear. “Apparently his role was discovered by Hawthorne. He is now in custody under the Tribunal’s control.”
Gerard almost threw his phone. “Where are you?”
“I’m on my way to Gatwick right now, booked on a flight to Berlin leaving in two hours. I can’t stay here. Timon didn’t have my name, but depending on what interrogation methods they use, they might be able to discover what I look like.”
“Do we have anyone else we can use?”
“No, sir. Not at this time.”
“I. Am not. Happy.”
“I understand that, but I am not the one who made the initial plans.”
“You will contact me immediately upon reaching Berlin, understood?”
“Yes, sir.”
Gerard hung up and screamed for his assistant. The man instantly appeared in the office doorway. “There is a flight from Gatwick to Berlin in two hours, and that operative is on it. I want his head on my desk in seventy-two hours, do I make myself clear?”
The assistant blanched but nodded and left to make the arrangements.
Only then did Gerard throw the cell phone against the wall. It shattered, leaving a dent where it impacted. He’d have to move up his alternate plans.
How could it be so difficult to get their hands on a single goddamn woman? Fucking cheap help.
He sat behind his desk and made a call on his secure phone. It took a moment for it to connect. On the other end, a man answered in Portuguese.
“Olá.”
“It’s me.”
“Como vai?” The male voice switched to thickly accented English. “To what I owe this honor?”
“There’s been a change of plans. I need you to speed up your research.”
There was a brief pause. “You have not acquired her?”
“No. We’re goin
g with the alternate plan. How long?”
“You want it right, or you want it fast?”
“Fast.”
“Probably two years.”
Gerard fought the urge to crush the phone in his hand. “And if I want it right?”
“Five. For you, I rush things. We forego advance testing.”
“That’s the best you can do?”
The doctor’s deep, rich laugh rolled over the line. “You are an impatient…how you say, bastardo.”
This was the only man on the face of the planet that Gerard would tolerate this kind of talk from, because he was the only one on the face of the planet capable of the work going on in his Brazilian lab.
“You’ll find out what kind of bastardo I can be if you don’t deliver as promised. I already have an order for one head to be brought to my desk. Yours could be alongside it.”
Another rich, rolling laugh. “We have this talk how many times, my old friend? You know I do my best. You do not want to make matters worse, do you? We move too soon, it might make your life hell, not heaven. For a man your age, you should know patience.”
“I’ve waited far too long already.”
“No, you not wait nearly long enough.” The doctor’s voice hardened. “You know we cannot be too careful. You want what you want, but we fuck this up, you might get more than you bargained. Remember the Alpha experiments?”
Gerard remembered, shuddering. One of the few thoughts that could elicit that reaction from him. Yet again another reason he tolerated the doctor’s insolence. He’d tried to hire cheap help and it nearly destroyed them all. “All right. Fine. You’ve got carte blanche, whatever you need, just get it done.”
“Muito bem. You see reason. See? You not so bad.”
“Are your test subjects still viable?”
“Sim. Yes. They are kept in different locations and serviced by different staff. Inconvenient, but necessary. The man is our focus right now. He’s easier, more pliable nature. We must keep the woman heavily sedated, she much stronger. But that interferes with results. We use her as backup.”
“And the child?”
“Eh, she is a handful with much potential.”