“What?” Albert asked.
He held it up so Albert could read the text message. “Told you so.”
“Do you ever tire of being right?”
“She’s my baby, Albert, lest you forget.” Well, at least the child of my heart…in this life.
* * * *
Taz drove, slowing once full dark settled. It was eerie watching the land disappear with only the asphalt in her headlights and occasional steam drifting across the road in front of her. Albert had told her Yellowstone was a safe haven for “their kind” because something about the sulfuric “brimstone” output from the thermal features kept the Others away.
Except the Others had apparently tag-teamed with a traitorous vampire and some daemon pulverem to infiltrate what was normally a refuge. With Caroline in custody, Taz wasn’t worried even though she knew it was foolish to be here alone. She’d be more careful.
She swallowed hard as she made the turn south at Fishing Bridge, toward West Thumb. Tightly gripping the steering wheel, she tried to ignore her racing heart and bad memories as she passed West Thumb and made her way west to the Old Faithful valley.
At check-in the desk clerk smiled, handing her the key. “Do you need more than one?”
Taz looked at it and shook her head. “No.”
It was a different cabin, and closer to the lodge than where they stayed before, fortunately not within sight of the cabin where Rafe died. Taz carried her bags inside and lay on the bed and took a deep breath. She could relax, breathe.
Morning snuck up on her and she realized she had fallen asleep with her clothes on. She took a shower, letting the hot water ease her stiff shoulders. She dressed and walked to the inn for breakfast, recognizing one of the servers from before.
“You’re back.” The waiter smiled and handed her a menu.
“Wanted to spend some more time here.” She couldn’t help but glance at the tables they sat at before. She imagined Matthias sitting across from her.
The sound of Rafe’s laugh.
After breakfast, she made her way to the boardwalk and slowly strolled in the opposite direction she had on the last visit, around the far end of the basin, and back to where she kissed Rafe. Sitting on the edge, out of the way of foot traffic, she closed her eyes and inhaled. She’d put on his shirt, the one from the floor of his closet, and could smell him. Faintly, but there.
Then came her tears. She wrapped her arms around herself and let them fall, replaying in her mind what happened. The teasing, the mental caresses, the playful flirting, his wink. Their talk over dinner, when he opened up to her and she saw a side of him few others ever knew. Feeling like he was a part of her past even though she’d only just met him that morning.
Remembering her promise, to give him a chance if there was ever one to give.
Admitting they loved one another. And her suspicions that he knew more than he was telling her.
One last, tender kiss good-bye…
“It’s okay, Taz baby.”
Her eyes snapped open. It must have been the breeze. Had to be. There were no others around.
Unless it was that damned disembodied voice again.
She stayed until lunch. Returning to the cabin, she changed to a different shirt and eyed her BlackBerry. She had reception here, could call and let them know not to worry.
No, she didn’t want to talk to anyone yet. There were still some personal demons she had to face down.
After lunch, she drove to West Thumb. In the parking lot she gripped the steering wheel, her knuckles white, and forced herself out of the car. The first time she was here was with Matthias, down by the lake, learning how to send her mind out. As far as Old Faithful until he’d called her back to him.
The last time…
With leaden feet, she retraced her steps down the boardwalk to Abyss Pool.
Had she really done it? Nearly dunked Caroline into the hot spring? If it hadn’t been for Matthias—
Taz gripped the handrail. He’d tackled her, sank his teeth into her neck, and drank to break her mental hold on Caroline. Then he temporarily went crazy and nearly killed Caroline himself. If Albert and Robertson hadn’t been there, Caroline would have gone into the pool. She deserved it, but still…
Taz’s fingers tightened around the wooden handrail separating her from the deceptively still water of the hot spring. Hot enough to kill someone.
Never again could she lose control, no matter how justified. Ever. She was a breath away from being a monster.
“You’re not a monster, Taz.” At the sound of the familiar voice Taz screamed, jumped, and wheeled around. Robertson stood a few feet away, looking sad.
At first she was shocked, not sure what to say, angry he was there. Then he held out his arms to her.
“My child,” he whispered. She fell into him, crying.
He caught her and sank to the boardwalk with her, holding her as she sobbed, letting her get it out of her system. Eventually he helped her stand and put an arm around her waist, and they walked down to the lake, found an empty bench, and sat staring out over the Absarokas in the distance. He didn’t speak, knowing her well enough to let the silence lie between them until she was ready to break it.
Finally, she did. “How did you know?”
“Besides the reservation?”
She nodded.
“I suspected. Even before your receipts showed up. You didn’t have time to deal with this before we left. I figured you’d want to sort things out where they all happened.”
“Matthias?”
“I imagine he’s probably strangled Albert by now.” He smiled. “I didn’t tell him. I left late last night after Matthias went to bed. I told Albert to wait, to let you have some time.”
“So you were here this morning?”
“I knew you would eventually find your way here and I decided to wait. I didn’t want to intrude too soon. I’ll leave, if you wish.”
She considered it, laying her head against his shoulder like she did when she was a child. “No. Please don’t.”
He hugged her closer. “I’m so sorry it happened, Taz. We all are. I know you need time to deal with this. Just keep in mind Matthias sees his responsibility is to protect you, take care of you, because he loves you.”
“I needed some time alone.”
“I know, but you scared him.”
“He would have insisted on coming with me.”
“I know that, too. Why do you think I kept my mouth shut for so long, sweetheart?”
She finally sat up and sniffled. “When do we go to the Tribunal?”
“Whenever you’re ready. I think not until next week, at the very earliest. You still need some downtime.”
She nodded. “So Matthias is on his way?”
“Not unless Albert blabbed too soon. The jet had to return to Florida and refuel first. I imagine Albert waited until late morning to say anything, meaning he wouldn’t be able to get to Gardiner until later tonight, at the earliest.
She looked down at the boardwalk. “When do we get him back?”
Robertson sighed. “The ashes arrived in Florida yesterday.”
Taz nodded and was quiet for several minutes. “How did she do it?” Taz whispered.
Robertson put his arm around her again. “Do you really wish to know?”
She nodded.
He patted her shoulder. “Caroline suffocated him while she had control of him. He couldn’t fight her. It was quick. He didn’t suffer.”
Taz closed her eyes and sobbed. He pulled her to him as she grieved.
“I feel like I can still hear him, like he’s still alive.”
“I know, sweetheart. It was so sudden, it’s hard to believe he’s gone.”
She sat up. “No. I mean I feel like he’s still around. In here.” She touched her head. “Like I can still feel him, hear his voice.”
“That’s normal, Taz. You’re still dealing with the pain, with fresh memories, and Matthias, too. All of us. That will f
ade. You’re so perceptive, still dealing with learning how to use your powers, it’s overwhelming.”
She looked out over the lake, over the mountains. “How long does it take?”
He took her hand in his. “Everyone’s different.” He checked the time. “Can I buy you dinner?”
She looked at the ground again and nodded. He squeezed her hand. “Come along, then.”
She realized he was driving a Land Rover, probably one of the ones from before. How had she missed it when she pulled in? Now that she thought about it, she had seen it but didn’t pay any attention to it when she parked.
“I was over by the bookstore,” he said in answer to her unspoken question. “You have no idea how hard I had to block my thoughts so you wouldn’t sense me. I wanted to give you time to yourself.”
“Thank you.”
He hugged her. “I’ll follow you, dear.”
They met back at the cabins. “Where are you staying?” she asked.
“I’ve got a room, over there.” He pointed to a cabin three buildings away. “Let me freshen up, and I’ll meet you here in about twenty minutes. All right?”
She nodded. She felt tired. While she was irritated he came after her, she was also glad he did. Better him than Matthias.
* * * *
Tim called Albert, hoping Matthias wasn’t too close to arriving.
“Did you find her?” Albert asked.
“She’s fine. I caught up with her at West Thumb. She needs time to grieve, to get it out of her system. How did Matthias take it?”
“He hasn’t. I haven’t told him yet.”
Tim assumed he misheard him. “What?”
“If you’re with her, she’s safe. I’ll wait until tomorrow. That’ll give her another day.”
“Brother, you are amazing.”
“Just don’t let anything happen to her,” Albert cautioned. “He’ll kill both of us.”
* * * *
They had a quiet table in a corner. He let Taz do the talking when she decided to. “I’m sorry I left like that.”
Tim made sure to keep his tone soft and gentle. “You scared him, Taz. You scared all of us.”
“I know. I just had to get out of there. Away. Just felt something pulling me. Especially after that crazy karaoke incident. I don’t want to lose control again.”
“I’ll hand it to you, you were smart.”
She smiled. “I learned from the best.”
He laughed. “Covering your tracks?”
“I didn’t want Matthias smothering me right now. I feel bad enough as it is.”
“We almost lost you, Taz. You were so close to dying at the end, we were afraid for you. He worries you’ll slip back into that and he won’t be there to help you. Or that someone will hurt you.”
She shook her head. “Don’t worry, I won’t. Never again.” She sighed. “It would be so much easier if it didn’t feel like he was still around, if it didn’t feel like I still had a connection to him.”
“Rafael?”
She nodded, staring at her plate. “I know Matthias told you what happened,” she whispered.
“Sweetheart, you were overwhelmed and upset. You were angry. Rafael—well, knowing him, I’m sure he enjoyed your succubus session.”
“But he died.”
“Not because of you, Taz.” He reached out and touched her hand. “Not because of what you did. Caroline killed him. She would have killed him regardless of what you did.”
“I acted like a spoiled brat. I’ve never been like that before.”
“And we keep telling you, it wasn’t your fault. This is why Matthias wanted to take years to gradually introduce you to your powers.”
“I never should have done it.”
“What’s done is done. It was a painful lesson, but you can’t change the past.”
She nodded and finally pushed her plate away, finished. Tim watched as she worked Rafael’s ring nervously with her thumb, eerily rubbing and twisting it the same way Rafael had.
“Never again. I won’t let myself hurt another person like that because I’m out of control. Ever.”
“You are learning to control your powers. That’s a good thing. You need to learn to put the past behind you. Don’t dwell on it, don’t let it rule your life.”
“What’s that expression about those who forget the past?”
“You won’t forget, Taz. Of that I have no doubt.”
Chapter Ten
She slept fitfully, dreaming of Rafe and their kiss, of visiting him that final night as a succubus, seducing him in revenge. He seemed to enjoy it, but remembering how she enjoyed controlling him made her sick to her stomach.
“Taz, it’s not your fault. You are a wonderful woman, and I don’t blame you. Quit beating yourself up.”
She awoke with a start and a bad taste in her mouth. It was like he’d spoken into her ear.
But she was alone in the cabin and Rafe was dead.
The clock read 4:38, and she knew she couldn’t go back to sleep. She showered and dressed, donning Rafe’s jacket against the morning chill. She was the only one on the boardwalk as false dawn touched the valley. She sat on a bench and watched steam puff from Old Faithful. About twenty minutes later, Robertson walked up and quietly sat next to her.
“How did you know I was here?” she asked.
“I’ve been with you nearly your entire life, Taz. I can sense you. I didn’t think there would be too many other people sitting out here this time of morning. Also, I can see the benches from my room.”
She looked at the cabins. “Oh.”
He smiled, patting her leg. “I imagine the dining room isn’t open yet. Would you like to take a walk? Or would you like me to leave you alone?”
“I wouldn’t mind the company.”
They stood. She hooked her arm around his and they slowly walked down the boardwalk.
Eventually she spoke. “I bet Matthias is going nuts about now.”
“Don’t worry. If anyone can handle him, it’s my brother.”
She stopped short, her jaw agape. “What?”
“What’s wrong—oh. That’s right, we never told you, did we? Things got rather hectic there at the end. I’m sorry, sweetheart. Albert and I are brothers.”
“Brothers?”
“Half brothers. Our mother is of the line, very strong woman. Our fathers were both human. That’s why we only have some of the powers.”
She finally fell in step with him again. “That’s why that first day, when Albert came into my office at Bob Stanley’s to offer me the job, he seemed so familiar.” It explained their eyes being the same eerily clear color.
“Most likely, yes.”
They walked in silence for a while, passing the spot where she sat with Matthias and practiced her powers, then the spot where she kissed Rafe.
“When will Matthias arrive?” she asked.
“As of last night, Albert hadn’t told him. I suspect he’ll tell him sometime today.”
“And he’ll fly in this afternoon.”
“Depending when Albert breaks the news. Unless you want me to call and tell him not to come?”
She paused, shaking her head. “I don’t know.”
He stopped. “Taz, I will make the call if you wish. You know that. If you don’t want to see him, I will call and tell him for you.”
“It’s not that.” She looked at the geyser field. “I just wish I could get rid of this feeling. Like I’ve got this split personality. I just can’t seem to get back on an even keel yet.” She ran her hands over her arms. “And this feeling’s back. A permanent case of the creepy crawlies.”
“It’s understandable. You’ve been through a lot in a very short amount of time.”
“It’s not like me.”
“You had no idea what was going to happen. Of what the truth was. You’ve had to process a lot of information in a very short amount of time, not to mention what you’ve gone through with Matthias has awoken your powers more r
apidly than we anticipated. That will take some time to get used to.” He glanced at his watch. “I think the dining room is open, if you’re hungry?” She nodded. He took her hand. “Come along, sweetheart. Let’s eat.”
* * * *
Matthias climbed the walls. When he came downstairs that morning for breakfast, he didn’t speak to Albert.
“Would you like me to cook you something?”
Matthias shook his head.
“She’s fine, I’m sure of it.”
“Where’s Tim?”
“He had to run some errands.”
Matthias’ head snapped around, glaring at Albert. Then he stood and advanced on him. “What are you not telling me?”
Albert tried to hold his ground. “Everything’s fine.”
Matthias grabbed him by the shoulders. “Tell me where she is!”
Albert pushed him away. “Matthias! This isn’t about you. This is about Anastazia. She needs time to heal, to come to terms with what happened.”
Matthias’ shoulders slumped, and he pounded his fist on the counter. “This is all my fault. If I’d only been able to protect her, none of this would have happened!”
“You tried your best. No one could ask you to do more.”
“It wasn’t good enough, was it?” he raged. “I should have been the one she could trust to protect her, especially since she was so fragile, and I didn’t!”
“Matthias!” Albert scolded. “Stop it right now. That kind of attitude will not help her.”
“Where is she?”
“I won’t tell you unless you calm down. Tim is with her, made contact with her yesterday afternoon. She’s safe.” Matthias took a step toward him. Albert, reading his eyes, drew the tranquilizer gun. “Matthias, don’t make me do it. Please.”
He hesitated. “You wouldn’t?”
“I darted her to protect her. I’ll dart you to protect her, too.”
They stood at impasse until, finally, Matthias bitterly laughed. “Fine, you win.” He sat at the table, his face in his hands.
“This isn’t about winning or losing. It’s about Taz’s mental well-being.”