“But…how?” I somehow managed to ask through my giggles. “I don’t want to be mean but you’re limp as a stalk of month-old celery. It would be like trying to jam a marshmallow into a keyhole.”
“Shut up, I say!” he shouted again. Then a crafty look came over his face. “I will impregnate you—I have the means to do so right here!”
He reached into the side pocket of his suit jacket (which he was wearing inside out—I think I forgot to mention that) and pulled out a prescription bottle.
“See?” he demanded, fighting with the child-proof cap for a moment before finally getting it off. “I have everything I need right here!”
Upending the bottle, he spilled a handful of blue, diamond-shaped pills into his palm.
Uh-oh…I knew what those were. I doubted there was anyone on my home planet who didn’t. My giggle fit dried up as abruptly as it had started. Teeny must have seen the serious look on my face, because she stopped laughing too.
“Ah-ha—now I have your attention and respect!” Doloroso snarled triumphantly. “As you can see, I will soon be at top sexual function and you will deeply regret your levity.”
“Leah,” Teeny whispered, her eyes fixed on the handful of blue pills he was holding out. “Is he telling the truth? What are those things he’s holding, anyway?”
Those little blue pills, each printed with a name so common everyone on Earth knew it, made me think of something. It was a story, my friend Charlotte had told me, about a man who had come in through the ER after taking them. “He thought that if one was good, two would work even better,” Charlotte had said dryly. “And they worked, all right—he had a very big problem by the time I saw him. A big and painful problem.”
Zoe and I had giggled at her story but then I had thought nothing else of it. Now it gave me an idea.
“I’m afraid he is telling the truth, Teeny,” I said, pitching my voice low, but not too low for Doloroso to hear. “Those pills will grow his, uh, Vienna Sausage into a big old bratwurst. All he has to do is take two or three of them and wait about half an hour.”
“What’s a bratwurst?” Teeny wanted to know but Doloroso had already taken the bait.
“Ha!” he exclaimed. “I know what you’re trying to do—you think I won’t take enough to be effective. Well, I’ll show you how effective the last living Assimilated can be!”
Lifting his hand to his mouth, he swallowed a good portion of the pills. I bit my lip as I saw at least ten slide down his throat. Wow—now all we had to do was wait.
I just prayed the effects of an overdose would work on the alien inside the human body the same way they would on a regular Earth body. Otherwise I was in deep, deep trouble.
Grav
“What do you want with me?” I demanded after Doloroso had gone, taking Teeny and Leah with him. I wondered if I would ever see them again—if I could save them from the fate that bastard had in mind. In order to do that, I had to get free. But what could I say to make the Widow free me?
“What do I want with you?” she mused, beginning to pace back and forth on the platform across from the web where I was still stuck, covered from neck to ankles in the white, sticky thread. Her long white robe belled out around her invisible feet and I wondered what she was hiding under it.
Not that I really wanted to know.
“Whatever it is, you’ll have to untie me if you want to get it,” I said, hoping I was right. To my surprise, she nodded.
“In fact, you are correct Gravex. But to be completely candid, I wished to untie you anyway. It’s true that you have a most fearsome reputation—the most wanted male in the galaxy, some say—but a male has to prove his worth to me in order to become my mate.”
“Your mate?” I looked at her in disbelief. “Lady, you have got to be fuckin’ kidding me.”
She frowned. “I am afraid I am completely serious. And you ought to be flattered—I have searched for cycles to find one who was worthy to mate me and host my young.”
Okay, I didn’t like the sound of that—not one fuckin’ bit.
“And what makes you think I’m the male for the job?” I demanded. “I don’t even like kids—especially not when they’re half-spider.”
“Ah, but half spider—or Spidier~o as my mother’s people were called—is a glorious thing to be.” She gave me a very unpleasant smile and began walking forward, flowing with casual grace on her unseen feet from the platform to the web where I was a prisoner.
“Spidier~o? Never heard of ‘em,” I said.
“No, you wouldn’t have. We are a race from beyond your little galaxy.” She made it sound as though the Goddess’s Cloak—or what Leah’s people called “the Milky Way”—was tiny and obscure—an out of the way place that was hardly worth mentioning. “I came here to make a place for myself and my young—but then, for years I was unable to find one worthy of mating me,” she continued.
“And you think I’m worthy?” I said bitterly. “I don’t think so, Lady. I couldn’t even get free of your damn web to protect the females in my care.”
“As to that, don’t be too hard on yourself for failing to get free.” She glided closer, looking down at me from her immense height. “The tensile strength of my silk is ten times that of a steel cable of the same thickness. No living being in your galaxy could break it.”
“Then why pick me or any male of the Twelve Peoples?” I demanded. “Why not take one of your own kind—another uh, Spidier~o, for a mate?”
“Ah, well I am afraid that is rather a delicate problem.” The Widow adjusted her long, white gown carefully. “You see, there are no males of my species. We are females only, which is why we need a male from another race to quicken our eggs with sentience and then host them until they hatch.”
“What are you talking about?” I was getting that bad feeling again—a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach that let me know shit was about to get real—and I don’t mean real pretty. “What quicken? What sentience?”
“It’s very simple, really.”
She was standing right over me now—looming over me is more like it. I thought I understood how smaller females felt around me now—it wasn’t a fun feeling.
“You see,” the widow continued. “I already have the eggs in my sac—thousands of them. And within them, thousands of tiny Spidier~os are growing. But without the seed of a sentient male, they will remain mindless—as unthinking and un-self-aware as my other pets.” She motioned to a few of the large spiders who were standing at the edge of the web, clearly waiting for orders.
“So you need my, uh, seed to turn them from mindless spiders to thinking spiders?” I couldn’t imagine anything worse. A spider that knows who you are and can go after you is a pretty bad thing. Especially if that particular spider knows you’re its daddy. “Sorry,” I said. “I don’t want any part of that mess. No fuckin’ thank you.”
“Ah, but you don’t understand—each of my young will look like me.” The Widow pointed at herself as though this was a big selling point. “Which means from the waist up, they will be devastatingly beautiful.”
“Uh, right,” I said, eyeing her white body and bulging red eyes. “Thanks but the answer is still a resounding ‘no.’”
“But you haven’t asked about their appearance—my appearance—from the waist down.” A slow, cruel smile curved her pale lips. “Shall I show you, my future mate? Shall I introduce you to your future daughters?”
Before I could say, ‘no, absolutely fucking not,’ she had thrown open her long white gown.
I looked—I couldn’t help it. I looked because it was one of the most bizarre things I’ve ever seen and let me tell you, I’ve been around the galaxy and seen some shit.
Her breasts were tiny and pointed with pale pink nipples but those weren’t what held my eyes. I had thought the Widow was just extra long in the legs—and she was—in a way. But she had eight legs, all sprouting from a bulging white body which dragged against the web
bing where she stood.
Her huge abdomen was taut and shiny, filled to the breaking point. I could see small round shapes like balls, all about as big as my fist shifting inside, just under her pale skin. As I watched, they twitched and writhed, moving inside her like restless children, wanting to come out and play.
Not much makes me puke, but this was a near thing. Generally I think a pregnant female is beautiful—all rounded and curved, and so obviously blessed by the Goddess.
But this was no blessing—it was an abomination.
I had never seen anything quite so revolting as the twitching, writhing things inside the Widow’s gravid abdomen. And she expected me to mate with her? Even if I’d had any interest in her at all—which I most certainly didn’t—that sight would have put me off any kind of sex. Possibly for the rest of my life.
“Sorry, Lady,” I said, my voice hoarse with disgust. “But I can’t get it up for spiders—not even half spiders. I’m afraid you’ll have to find someone else.”
“I cannot,” she hissed, frowning at me. Clearly she’d expected me to have a different reaction to the sight of her naked. “My time grows short. Once my eggs have been imbued with sentience, they must be transferred quickly to a host. Which again will be you.”
“Uh…I don’t want those things inside me any more than I want to put any part of myself inside you,” I said. To hell with tact, I had to be honest here. “In fact, I’d rather fuckin’ die.”
“Oh, you will, my dear Gravex.” Her ruby-red eyes glowed with malice and enjoyment. “You most certainly will. You see, once the eggs hatch, they devour their host. Which is why I cannot put this off any longer. If they hatch whilst they are still inside me, well…” She shook her head. “It would be bad. Very bad indeed.”
“Well, I don’t want ‘em in me either,” I said again. “Besides…” I eyed her massive abdomen and thought of my own flat abs. “They wouldn’t fit.”
“Oh, there are ways to make them fit.” The Widow’s eyes flashed. “Once I remove your organs and hollow out your abdominal cavity, you’ll be surprised how well they will fit. Of course,” she went on. “That won’t kill you—though you might think it would. But I have a special venom that will keep you alive so that you can feel each of your daughters chewing her way out…”
“That’s sick!” I spat at her.
“Is it any sicker than what you did to your own father?” she asked musingly. “I think not. I prefer to think of it as poetic justice.”
Before I could answer, she was bending over me.
“Now, I am going to unweb you my dear Gravex, but only because I need to get to your member,” she murmured in my ear. “If you try to fight me in any way, I’ll have my minions sting you into submission.”
She gestured to the large spiders and they all came scuttling down the web to stand around us in a circle.
Shit. I was in deep here—really deep—and I knew it. But what was I going to do?
Goddess of Mercy, I prayed silently. I don’t think it’s your will for me to die like this. I know I’ve been a son of a bitch all my life, but I have unfinished business—promises to keep. The sacred oath I swore will be broken if I can’t get out of here and get back to Leah and Teeny. So please, Goddess…help me!
I don’t know if the Goddess heard my prayer or not but a feeling of calm washed over me as the Widow leaned over and started cutting the webbing that held me with one sharp, claw-like fingernail. Her heavy abdomen rested on my legs and I could feel the eggs moving around inside it. Gods! I’d rather die in the Frozen Hells of Anor than mate with this creature but I knew I had to lie still and take it—at least until I was free.
At last I was released from the cable-like web-string that had so completely restricted my movement. I wiggled my fingers and toes, trying to bring feeling back. I needed to move fast when the moment came.
Not yet, I told myself. Not…just…yet.
Then she started scrabbling at the fastening to my trousers. I fought back a rush of revulsion and held up a hand.
“Stop—let me.”
“Why should I?” She leered down at me. “I rather like being in charge.”
“You’re still in charge,” I said evenly. “But my trousers fasten at the bottom and the top—you’ll never get them open on your own.”
“Mmm…being cooperative now, are we?” she purred.
“Yeah, well, what choice do I have?” I muttered. “At least tell me you’ll numb me before you, uh, implant the eggs.” The words stuck in my throat but I made myself say them anyway.
“But of course,” she purred. “If you lie still and cooperate, I promise the entire procedure will be entirely painless.”
Right—like being cut open and having your internal organs removed to make room for a thousand or so spider eggs would be painless. Somehow I didn’t think so. But I tried to keep my expression neutral and the Widow seemed to buy it.
“Look at it this way, Gravex—at least you’ll have the best mating of your life before you die,” she murmured. “Now unfasten your trousers and expose your member for my spermatic receptor.” Her bulging ruby eyes glowed and she leaned back, moving that huge, gravid abdomen off my legs at last, to give me room.
I knew the time had come. Leaning over, I reached for the bottoms of my trousers, which were tucked into my boots.
Also tucked into my boot was my best knife.
It wasn’t much of a weapon against a being like the Widow, but it was all I had and this was my only chance. I’d be damned if I wasn’t going to take it.
With a sudden move, I pulled it from my boot and waved it in her face.
“Get back!” I roared.
She hissed, drawing back momentarily, giving me just enough time to roll to one side.
Unfortunately, I rolled right up against several of the giant spiders. Since I didn’t want to be stung again, I just kept on rolling, right over their huge, squishy bodies.
I heard their high-pitched screams as they were smashed through the holes in the web and turned into goo. Some of them stung me anyway but I wasn’t stopping—not until I got the hell out of there!
“Stop him! Stop him!” the Widow howled. “The mating must take place! My eggs are ripening now. Soon they will hatch!”
A dozen or so more of the massive spiders scuttled forward and I swiped at them with my knife, cutting off some of their legs which made them hiss and scream shrilly in pain as they bled dark green ichor all over the white strands.
You might wonder why I didn’t just go for the Widow herself. Her bulging abdomen with its load of writhing eggs was the perfect target. But I took a vow as a Protector never to hurt a female.
And it wasn’t just that—my feelings about harming females went deeper than any vow—much deeper. Even in a dire situation like this, I didn’t want to do it. So I just scrambled around the web, swiping at the spiders and trying to get to the edge, to the platform where the Widow had been standing earlier.
My plan was to get off the web and go find my ship. Or if it was too damaged, some other shuttle to get me to wherever Doloroso had gone. It wouldn’t be far—I had the feeling he was still inside the Spider’s Web around the Lavara system. He knew no one could reach him there, not with the Web activated again.
I just hoped I could get to him before it was too late and he hurt Leah or Teeny in some way. Because if he hurt them…
I could feel the rage building within me at the thought. Could see the red haze that wanted to cloud both my vision and my reason. But I kept it grimly at bay. Before I could find and kill Doloroso, I had to get out of my own mess first.
“Get him! Catch him!” the Widow shrieked. Was it my imagination or were the eggs inside her writhing faster and faster? Her immense white abdomen looked like a pot of water coming to a boil. “You fools!” she gasped at the spiders. “If you cannot catch him, I’ll do it myself!”
From beneath her abdomen, a long white fleshy co
il rose up like a vast snake. It spasmed and I ducked just in time as a coil of white webbing shot out. Holy fuck, I needed to get out of here now!
“Stay still!” the Widow ordered me imperiously—like I was going to obediently wait while she webbed me up again. “My eggs are almost fully ripe—they must be fertilized and implanted now.”
“Sorry, lady,” I growled, dodging another loop of white webbing. “Not my fuckin’ problem.”
I had almost reached the platform by then. The Widow’s abdomen was writhing crazily. It seemed to get worse every time she shot her white, fibrous web at me—almost as if she was agitating the eggs inside her—but she wouldn’t stop.
I dodged again and gripped the edge of the platform, heaving myself up. And that was when I heard it—a grinding crash like an outer airlock door being thrown open.
“This way!” someone shouted in a familiar voice.
Suddenly, that fuckin’ Captain Verrai and about five other Gold Skins appeared. They were standing just inside the arched doorway leading out of the web room, as I had begun to think of the huge area where the Widow kept her lair.
The captain and the rest of the Imperial guards came charging in, blasters ready. I had to duck as one of them discharged their weapon right at my head.
Great, now I was getting shot at from the back and the front.
“Don’t shoot, you fuckin’ idiot!” I shouted at them. “I’m not the enemy here!”
“What’s this? What’s going on here?” Verrai asked, his rainbow eyes taking a quick sweep of the room.
I could only imagine how it looked—the Widow howling in her web, her spider minions scuttling everywhere and me—wielding a knife, covered in welts from being stung, and dripping with poison-green goo.
“What do you think is going on?” I snarled at him. “She wants a mate to implant with her eggs and it’s damn-sure not gonna be me. You better fuckin’ run before she decides it should be you or one of your men!”
But the idea had apparently already occurred to the Widow. She’d told me she searched for years to find just the right mate, but now that her eggs were about to hatch right inside her, it was any port in a storm.