"I know you have no reason to believe me. But this has never happened to me before," I said. I reached into the depths of my soul and gathered strength. "I've never wanted someone so bad, even though I know nothing about you and don't even know if I can like you."
He smiled, moving toward me. Green eyes filling with an intent to have me again, touch me, kiss me, until he didn't have to stop after one orgasm.
"But I'm engaged to be married, Holden."
He stopped. Shock carved out the lines of his face.
I lifted my hand. The sapphire glittered darkly. "I'm getting married at the end of the summer."
Chapter Eight
HOLDEN
HE'S ENGAGED.
I stood there, staring at her, my mouth gaping open. After holding her in my arms and absorbing all that incredible heat and sweetness, I was ready to give her another orgasm. Hopefully with my mouth between her gorgeous, spread thighs. She'd completely fallen into and exploded around me.
And she's fucking engaged.
My mind tried to click on, but my dick was still hard and wiped out necessary brain cells. Wait a minute, I would've noticed a ring! My gaze dropped to her finger. A fat blue stone shimmered in the moonlight. I figured it was one of those cocktail rings girls liked so much, never imagining it was an engagement ring. "That's not a diamond."
Her face reflected sheer misery. She cradled her hand, hiding the ring as if it were stolen. "I know. It's a sapphire."
A mix of raw emotions slapped me. Frustration, anger, disgust. But the hidden ones beneath scared the crap out of me.
Jealousy. Grief. As if by realizing she'd never belonged to me, she'd hurt me deeper than any other woman had.
Impossible. Storme was meant to be a brief screw and nothing else. It was all sexual. I pushed the rest of the mess away and connected with the cold, hard part in my center. Bottom line?
She was a cheater.
My words came out like stones and ice. "Whatsa matter, sugar? He can't satisfy you enough, so you need some on the side?"
She jerked as if hit. I refused to feel bad. She was a liar. But damned if she didn't lift her chin high and stare back at me directly. No hiding.
"Yes, I made a terrible mistake. I-I don't know what happened. I've never met someone I felt so attracted to."
Her honesty surprised me, but it didn't give her a medal. My insides churned at the thought of the poor chump she was cheating on. "Thanks for the compliment, but I'm not into sloppy seconds."
Another flinch. "I'd hate me, too," she finally whispered. "I have no excuse. Phillip and I have been childhood friends since we were young. Our parents always talked about us getting married and merging their businesses together. And then we just--we just fell into a relationship, and everyone was happy. Sometimes I feel like we've been engaged since I was thirteen. I never questioned our relationship or if he was what I really wanted. Ever. Until now."
"Trying to tell me arranged marriages still exist?" I sneered. "Part of getting all that money, huh? Do what mommy and daddy want, whore yourself out, and inherit a fortune?"
I regretted the words tumbling out, but I was pissed off and confused. She drew herself up to her full height, with all the dignity she could muster, and turned. "I deserved that, I guess. But I don't think we should talk anymore. Please take me home."
Seething, I marched over and grabbed my helmet. "You got it, sugar."
In silence, we restored our gear then got back on the bike. This time, when she held onto me, I knew it was only for survival. This time, with the wind whipping against our faces and the stars twinkling overhead, it wasn't romantic or special. It was just a mocking, yawning mess of lies.
I pulled up to her house, refusing to look at her when she climbed off. She handed me her helmet. Her voice cut past the grumble of the engine and tore me into pieces.
"I'm sorry, Holden. I never meant to hurt anyone."
Then she ran off, disappearing behind the mansion doors. Exactly where she belonged.
How had I missed it? I never questioned the fat blue rock on her finger 'cause it wasn't a traditional diamond. She didn't give off an aura of a woman in love with another man. Hell, she didn't kiss me like a woman in love with another man, her body melting under mine, her mouth opening up to each stroke of my tongue. It didn't make any fucking sense.
I knew women. I knew when they were manipulative liars. Hell, I'd dated my fair share because they were also safe. But Storme Sullivan demolished me. She responded with a raw passion I'd never experienced. Her eyes glowed with a need and gentle vulnerability I'd never encountered.
Did she love her fiance? Did he love her? Was it a marriage of convenience in order to match wealthy families? Or was I just the poor chump picked for her last fling before she tied herself down to one man?
The emotions churned inside until I pushed my bike faster to outrun my thoughts. To hell with this. I was done. I'd move on, find another woman to have some fun with, and never think about Storme again.
But I already knew it was a lie.
Chapter Nine
STORME
TNE WEEK LATER, I walked out onto the platform in Adele's Bridal Boutique. The final fitting was celebrated in a party-type manner. Kelsey and Leigh perched on plump, pink chairs, drinking champagne and giggling over the new men in their lives.
Forcing a smile, I stood in front of them. "What do you think?"
The expensive designer dress was Enzoani at his best. The sweetheart neckline emphasized the swell of my breasts and golden skin, glittering crystals and seed pearls encrusted the bodice, and the entire dress swathed into a stunning rush of tulle in a criss-cross effect that made me feel like I floated rather than walked. It was a romantic, fashionista design that fit me perfectly. The long, sheer veil was simplistic, with the glittering combs sweeping my hair back from my face. The shoes were open-toe, four inches, and matched the beading from the bodice.
My friends stared at me in stunned silence. Leigh's lower lip trembled with the threat of tears. Kelsey put her hand over her mouth, eyes wide.
"You're gorgeous, Storme," Kelsey finally said. "Prettier than a Modern Bride magazine."
Leigh sighed, blinking away tears. "I'm not going to be able to hold it together at this wedding. You're perfect."
I turned to the mirror and stared at my reflection. I looked like a princess from a fairy tale, but even better dressed. Why, then, was I feeling empty inside? Why couldn't I just focus on my wedding and future, and rid myself of the memories of Holden Fox?
I hadn't told my best friends about the kiss. After my confession to Holden, I swore I'd never see him again. I'd convinced myself I was tipsy, that I had pre-wedding jitters, and telling anyone else would only hurt the people I loved. Holden was completely out of my system, and in six weeks, I'd be a happily married woman.
My heart clenched along with my tummy, and I suddenly fought the need to vomit.
"Uh-oh. That is not a happy face," Kelsey commented. "What is going on?"
"I-I think I'm having bridal jitters. Totally normal, right?"
Leigh watched with concern. The salesperson checked in, beaming as she studied the dress. "It looks perfect. Are you satisfied with the results? The accessories? We have some darling garters and fun stuff for the honeymoon if you'd like to check that out."
Tears blurred my vision. My wedding night. I was getting married, and I had zero interest in sleeping with my husband. Ready to have an all-out breakdown.
Kesley got up and shooed the woman away. "Not now, please. We have a crisis."
Leigh jumped to her feet. "Yes, no interruptions, please, and more champagne."
Because we'd dropped so much money at the shop, the woman did as instructed and disappeared without a protest. I walked off the platform and sat in the plump, pink chair between my friends. Leigh handed me a flute.
"Talk to us," Leigh said. "We're your friends. You can tell us anything."
"Are you holding out on us, Storme?" Kelsey
asked.
I sniffed. Drained the glass of champagne. And told them my awful, dark, dirty secret. "Phillip and I don't have sex."
The girls exchanged looks. My chest felt immediately lighter, as confessing my shame removed its power to haunt me. Kelsey drained her glass of champagne and poured another. "Umm, dude, I don't think I understand. You and Phillip have been together for years. Do you mean you never had sex with each other? I clearly remember you telling us about the night you lost your virginity to him."
Leigh patted my hand. "Take your time. Then tell us everything."
I took a deep breath then let it all out. "We had sex once. It wasn't very good, but I was a virgin and figured it would get better. A week later, we had sex again, but it was awkward and terrible, and we both didn't really like it. I figured we'd just try again, but time began to go by, and we never did, and before I realized it, a year had passed, then another, and another, and we've never had sex again."
Leigh shoved her full glass at me to finish, waved the saleswoman in with the new bottle, then motioned her back out.
"Keep going," Kelsey said, refilling her glass. "I just need to process."
I let the rest go in a tumble of dirty laundry. "I got worried and spoke with Phillip, and he said he loved me but wasn't a very physical person. He was really miserable and sad, and we had a long talk about breaking up. But he's the only man I've ever loved, and our parents are counting on us to merge the vineyards. So, we agreed to keep going, both of us hoping we'd find that spark, that sexual attraction our relationship had been missing."
"Did you?" Leigh asked.
I gulped more champagne. "No. I thought about trying to put the moves on him a few times, but it was so awkward and...forced. We just don't have that type of connection. I figured I could live without it because I'm not really a sexual person, either. Until--"
"Until?" Leigh asked.
It was time to tell the whole truth. "Until I met Holden Fox." I forced out the rest of the words. "I'm not even married yet, and I'm thinking about having an affair."
Kelsey sucked in a breath. "Was that the guy talking to you at the bar? I didn't say anything, but I swear I saw sparks between you two."
I sniffed and fought back tears. "Yes. And I did a terrible, awful thing. I kissed him." I briefly told them both about the incident after the bar, then waited for the judgment.
Leigh sighed. "Oh, sweetie. I'm so sorry you're going through this. You have to talk to Phillip. Tell him the truth." Kelsey nodded. "Your hormones blew up, and you couldn't help yourself. Having no sex will do that to a person."
"I suck," I whimpered. "I feel like an adulteress."
Kelsey shook her head. "You're not married yet, so you can't be an adulteress. But this is a sign you have to figure out if Phillip is really the man you should marry. Can you really spend the rest of your life with a man without any physical connection?"
Thank God for my friends. I'd always have guilt over kissing Holden, but knowing they forgave and understood made a huge difference. I'd kept my secret for so long about Phillip, trying to protect both of us, I'd forgotten to examine why I refused to tell anyone about our real relationship.
Because they'd convince you to break up with him, my inner voice whispered. And that scares the hell out of you.
Leigh leaned forward. "Tell us the truth. Do you really want to marry Phillip? Or do you feel you have no choice?"
The question cut through the bullshit and made me freeze. Right here, safe with my friends, wearing my bridal dress, I let myself face the mess. "I don't know." My voice broke, but I forged on. "I love Phillip like a best friend. But I had no idea I could feel so alive before. When I kissed Holden, everything inside of me exploded. It felt more real than my relationship with Phillip. Does that make sense?"
"Yes," Leigh said. "But you can't do this to yourself any longer. Call Phillip, and tell him the truth about the kiss and your doubts. Then try to come to a decision together."
Misery choked me. "I guess that would be the right thing to do."
My friends exchanged wary glances but nodded. "We'll back up your decision," Kelsey said. "Whatever that is. We'll celebrate with you if you get married, and help you escape if you want to be a runaway bride."
I laughed, finished my champagne, then stood. "Thanks, guys. I'm better now. You're right. I'm going to call him when I get home. Try to figure it out together. I just don't want a cheap physical attraction to distract me from my real future."
Kelsey giggled. "Hey, I tend to adore cheap physical attractions."
I hit her playfully. "That's because you're hooked up with the hottest lifeguard in the Hamptons. How is Sean?"
"Good." Her eyes sparkled. "Very, very good."
"Slut," Leigh teased.
Kelsey raised a brow. "What about you? Care to tell us what's been going on between you and Nick?"
A faint blush tinged Leigh's cheeks. "No."
Soon after arriving in the Hamptons, Leigh had begun seeing Nick, a Wall Street analyst who seemed to make her happy. And Kelsey seemed quite smitten with the 'Hampton Hottie.' They both deserved some summer fun.
I trudged back to the room to remove my wedding dress, knowing it was time to have a heart-to-heart with Phillip. Maybe he'd calm all my fears and remind me again why we were perfect together.
I kept repeating that mantra while my mind envisioned wicked green eyes, witchlike black hair, and muscles to tempt a nun.
Damn Holden Fox.
Chapter Ten
HOLDEN
"DUDE, ARE YOU SERIOUSLY SULKING?"
I looked up. Brian stared at me with an expression that should have shamed me, but I was too pissed off and hard-up to care. "I'm brooding. It's more masculine."
He shook his head and slumped next to me on the oversized leather sectional. I was at yet another house party, all decked-out with expensive furniture, Playboy-like mansion pools, and endless drinks and food. The high ceilings, stunning white walls, and crazy sculptures gave the impression of tasteful wealth and longtime family heritage. Probably like Storme's family. A long line of vineyard owners, arranged marriages, and cheating spouses.
One week.
One damn week with no contact, and I was going out of my fucking mind. Guess my body didn't care about morals as long as I could get laid. I tried to stay out of the social crowds she hung with, giving Brian excuses while I pored over work on my laptop, but finally he cracked and made me come with him. Hell, I even tried to hook up with a pretty strawberry blonde the other night to get Storme off my mind. I almost got to the bedroom before I realized I had little interest, and my head spun with images of a dark-haired cheater with inky eyes I wanted to drown in. Eyes filled with a sadness and indecision that made me question how committed she was to this upcoming marriage.
"You're in bad shape. You haven't gotten laid and refuse to go down to the beach with us for the nightly bonfire. She got under your skin, huh?"
I waved off my friend in a desperate attempt to save my dignity. "Yeah, just call me Frank Fucking Sinatra. I'm sure it'll pass."
Brian snorted. "Listen up. There are a million other women here, and you can have your pick. Hell, choose one that looks like her and wring her out of your system!"
I winced at the crudity, but the words made sense. I should be able to move on to someone else. I just needed to refocus and remember this summer was supposed to be about fun. Relaxing. Not stress and angst and emotion. "Yeah, maybe you're right."
Brian clapped me on the shoulder and beamed. "Damn right, dude. Come to the pool. There's a gorgeous brunette making googly eyes at you."
I preferred to work on my laptop or go for a ride on my bike alone, but that was too pathetic to say aloud. Instead, I mustered up some enthusiasm and told myself another woman would be good for me. I needed a distraction. "Sure, I'll be right there."
"That's my man!"
I followed Brian out to the pool, pasting a smile on my lips, and swore not to think about Storme S
ullivan again.
Chapter Eleven
STORME
MY FINGERS SHOOK, BUT I punched the button for Face Time and waited to speak to Phillip. After a few hours with my friends, I came to the only decision I could. I'd tell the truth and see where that left us. I couldn't start a marriage with a lie.
"Hi, sweets. How are you?"
I smiled and studied the screen. Phillip was good-looking in a very suave, charming manner. Graceful and tall, with his ash blond hair always perfectly styled, he was always impeccably dressed. He reminded me of an Old World movie star with an almost distant manner. Except when I looked, I just saw my beloved best friend. The one who I'd run, played, and climbed trees with. The one who always took me seriously when I bawled over a skinned knee or supposed injury. Someone I could discuss wine with, who listened to my feelings and supported my dreams.
But as a lover? No. I'd never felt the same blistering connection and belly tumbling that Holden offered.
"Not doing too good," I said honestly. "I think we need to talk."
His frown was immediate, and he leaned close to the screen. "Are you okay? What happened?"
I tipped my chin up and gave it to him straight. "I did something, Phillip, and I'm sorry. I kissed another man."
His shock was evident. He jerked back as if trying to sift through my words to find the real truth. I rushed on, knowing if I paused I'd chicken out.
"I love you. I do, but there was this crazy physical connection between me and--and--him. I got caught up in the moment, and we kissed, and then I told him we were engaged, and I swore I wouldn't see him again. But now I'm questioning things."
I waited in misery, but his words startled me. "Questioning if we're truly right for one another?" he asked with understanding.
I swallowed hard and nodded. "Yes. We don't--we don't have sex. And I don't think we miss it much. I've been telling myself we have everything else, but now I'm scared. And of course, the only person I want to talk to about this problem is my best friend. You."
He gave a long sigh, and his beautiful blue eyes were sad. "Do you not want to marry me, Storme? Tell me the truth."
My throat closed up. "I do. And I don't. I'm confused. This guy caused me to feel things I never felt before. I'm so sorry, Phillip. Please forgive me."