Chapter XVI
As soon as I arrived in sight of the front of the house, my attentionwas excited by a light from the window of my own chamber. No appearancecould be less explicable. A meeting was expected with Carwin, but thathe pre-occupied my chamber, and had supplied himself with light, was notto be believed. What motive could influence him to adopt this conduct?Could I proceed until this was explained? Perhaps, if I should proceedto a distance in front, some one would be visible. A sidelong but feeblebeam from the window, fell upon the piny copse which skirted the bank.As I eyed it, it suddenly became mutable, and after flitting to and fro,for a short time, it vanished. I turned my eye again toward the window,and perceived that the light was still there; but the change which I hadnoticed was occasioned by a change in the position of the lamp or candlewithin. Hence, that some person was there was an unavoidable inference.
I paused to deliberate on the propriety of advancing. Might I notadvance cautiously, and, therefore, without danger? Might I not knock atthe door, or call, and be apprized of the nature of my visitant before Ientered? I approached and listened at the door, but could hear nothing.I knocked at first timidly, but afterwards with loudness. My signalswere unnoticed. I stepped back and looked, but the light was no longerdiscernible. Was it suddenly extinguished by a human agent? What purposebut concealment was intended? Why was the illumination produced, to bethus suddenly brought to an end? And why, since some one was there, hadsilence been observed?
These were questions, the solution of which may be readily supposedto be entangled with danger. Would not this danger, when measured by awoman's fears, expand into gigantic dimensions? Menaces of death; thestunning exertions of a warning voice; the known and unknown attributesof Carwin; our recent interview in this chamber; the pre-appointment ofa meeting at this place and hour, all thronged into my memory. What wasto be done?
Courage is no definite or stedfast principle. Let that man who shallpurpose to assign motives to the actions of another, blush at hisfolly and forbear. Not more presumptuous would it be to attempt theclassification of all nature, and the scanning of supreme intelligence.I gazed for a minute at the window, and fixed my eyes, for a secondminute, on the ground. I drew forth from my pocket, and opened, apenknife. This, said I, be my safe-guard and avenger. The assailantshall perish, or myself shall fall. I had locked up the house in themorning, but had the key of the kitchen door in my pocket. I, therefore,determined to gain access behind. Thither I hastened, unlocked andentered. All was lonely, darksome, and waste. Familiar as I was withevery part of my dwelling, I easily found my way to a closet, drew fortha taper, a flint, tinder, and steel, and, in a moment as it were, gavemyself the guidance and protection of light.
What purpose did I meditate? Should I explore my way to my chamber, andconfront the being who had dared to intrude into this recess, and hadlaboured for concealment? By putting out the light did he seek to hidehimself, or mean only to circumvent my incautious steps? Yet was itnot more probable that he desired my absence by thus encouraging thesupposition that the house was unoccupied? I would see this man in spiteof all impediments; ere I died, I would see his face, and summon himto penitence and retribution; no matter at what cost an interview waspurchased. Reputation and life might be wrested from me by another, butmy rectitude and honor were in my own keeping, and were safe.
I proceeded to the foot of the stairs. At such a crisis my thoughtsmay be supposed at no liberty to range; yet vague images rushed into mymind, of the mysterious interposition which had been experienced on thelast night. My case, at present, was not dissimilar; and, if my angelwere not weary of fruitless exertions to save, might not a new warningbe expected? Who could say whether his silence were ascribable to theabsence of danger, or to his own absence?
In this state of mind, no wonder that a shivering cold crept throughmy veins; that my pause was prolonged; and, that a fearful glance wasthrown backward.
Alas! my heart droops, and my fingers are enervated; my ideas arevivid, but my language is faint: now know I what it is to entertainincommunicable sentiments. The chain of subsequent incidents is drawnthrough my mind, and being linked with those which forewent, by turnsrouse up agonies and sink me into hopelessness.
Yet I will persist to the end. My narrative may be invaded by inaccuracyand confusion; but if I live no longer, I will, at least, live tocomplete it. What but ambiguities, abruptnesses, and dark transitions,can be expected from the historian who is, at the same time, thesufferer of these disasters?
I have said that I cast a look behind. Some object was expected to beseen, or why should I have gazed in that direction? Two senses were atonce assailed. The same piercing exclamation of HOLD! HOLD! was utteredwithin the same distance of my ear. This it was that I heard. The airyundulation, and the shock given to my nerves, were real. Whether thespectacle which I beheld existed in my fancy or without, might bedoubted. I had not closed the door of the apartment I had just left. Thestair-case, at the foot of which I stood, was eight or ten feet fromthe door, and attached to the wall through which the door led. My view,therefore, was sidelong, and took in no part of the room.
Through this aperture was an head thrust and drawn back with so muchswiftness, that the immediate conviction was, that thus much of a form,ordinarily invisible, had been unshrowded. The face was turned towardsme. Every muscle was tense; the forehead and brows were drawn intovehement expression; the lips were stretched as in the act of shrieking,and the eyes emitted sparks, which, no doubt, if I had been unattendedby a light, would have illuminated like the coruscations of a meteor.The sound and the vision were present, and departed together at thesame instant; but the cry was blown into my ear, while the face was manypaces distant.
This face was well suited to a being whose performances exceeded thestandard of humanity, and yet its features were akin to those I hadbefore seen. The image of Carwin was blended in a thousand ways with thestream of my thoughts. This visage was, perhaps, pourtrayed by my fancy.If so, it will excite no surprize that some of his lineaments were nowdiscovered. Yet affinities were few and unconspicuous, and were lostamidst the blaze of opposite qualities.
What conclusion could I form? Be the face human or not, the intimationwas imparted from above. Experience had evinced the benignity of thatbeing who gave it. Once he had interposed to shield me from harm, andsubsequent events demonstrated the usefulness of that interposition. Nowwas I again warned to forbear. I was hurrying to the verge of the samegulf, and the same power was exerted to recall my steps. Was it possiblefor me not to obey? Was I capable of holding on in the same perilouscareer? Yes. Even of this I was capable!
The intimation was imperfect: it gave no form to my danger, andprescribed no limits to my caution. I had formerly neglected it, and yetescaped. Might I not trust to the same issue? This idea might possess,though imperceptibly, some influence. I persisted; but it was not merelyon this account. I cannot delineate the motives that led me on. I nowspeak as if no remnant of doubt existed in my mind as to the supernalorigin of these sounds; but this is owing to the imperfection of mylanguage, for I only mean that the belief was more permanent, andvisited more frequently my sober meditations than its opposite. Theimmediate effects served only to undermine the foundations of myjudgment and precipitate my resolutions.
I must either advance or return. I chose the former, and began to ascendthe stairs. The silence underwent no second interruption. My chamberdoor was closed, but unlocked, and, aided by vehement efforts of mycourage, I opened and looked in.
No hideous or uncommon object was discernible. The danger, indeed, mighteasily have lurked out of sight, have sprung upon me as I entered, andhave rent me with his iron talons; but I was blind to this fate, andadvanced, though cautiously, into the room.
Still every thing wore its accustomed aspect. Neither lamp nor candlewas to be found. Now, for the first time, suspicions were suggested asto the nature of the light which I had seen. Was it possible to havebeen the companion of that supernatural visage; a meteorou
s refulgenceproducible at the will of him to whom that visage belonged, andpartaking of the nature of that which accompanied my father's death?
The closet was near, and I remembered the complicated horrors of whichit had been productive. Here, perhaps, was inclosed the source of myperil, and the gratification of my curiosity. Should I adventure oncemore to explore its recesses? This was a resolution not easily formed. Iwas suspended in thought: when glancing my eye on a table, I perceived awritten paper. Carwin's hand was instantly recognized, and snatching upthe paper, I read as follows:--
"There was folly in expecting your compliance with my invitation. Judgehow I was disappointed in finding another in your place. I havewaited, but to wait any longer would be perilous. I shall still seek aninterview, but it must be at a different time and place: meanwhile,I will write this--How will you bear--How inexplicable will be thistransaction!--An event so unexpected--a sight so horrible!"
Such was this abrupt and unsatisfactory script. The ink was yet moist,the hand was that of Carwin. Hence it was to be inferred that he hadthis moment left the apartment, or was still in it. I looked back, onthe sudden expectation of seeing him behind me.
What other did he mean? What transaction had taken place adverse to myexpectations? What sight was about to be exhibited? I looked aroundme once more, but saw nothing which indicated strangeness. Again Iremembered the closet, and was resolved to seek in that the solutionof these mysteries. Here, perhaps, was inclosed the scene destined toawaken my horrors and baffle my foresight.
I have already said, that the entrance into this closet was beside mybed, which, on two sides, was closely shrowded by curtains. On that sidenearest the closet, the curtain was raised. As I passed along I cast myeye thither. I started, and looked again. I bore a light in my hand, andbrought it nearer my eyes, in order to dispel any illusive mists thatmight have hovered before them. Once more I fixed my eyes upon the bed,in hope that this more stedfast scrutiny would annihilate the objectwhich before seemed to be there.
This then was the sight which Carwin had predicted! This was the eventwhich my understanding was to find inexplicable! This was the fatewhich had been reserved for me, but which, by some untoward chance, hadbefallen on another!
I had not been terrified by empty menaces. Violation and death awaitedmy entrance into this chamber. Some inscrutable chance had led HERhither before me, and the merciless fangs of which I was designed tobe the prey, had mistaken their victim, and had fixed themselves in HERheart. But where was my safety? Was the mischief exhausted or flown? Thesteps of the assassin had just been here; they could not be far off; ina moment he would rush into my presence, and I should perish under thesame polluting and suffocating grasp!
My frame shook, and my knees were unable to support me. I gazedalternately at the closet door and at the door of my room. At one ofthese avenues would enter the exterminator of my honor and my life. Iwas prepared for defence; but now that danger was imminent, my meansof defence, and my power to use them were gone. I was not qualified, byeducation and experience, to encounter perils like these: or, perhaps,I was powerless because I was again assaulted by surprize, and had notfortified my mind by foresight and previous reflection against a scenelike this.
Fears for my own safety again yielded place to reflections on the scenebefore me. I fixed my eyes upon her countenance. My sister's well-knownand beloved features could not be concealed by convulsion or lividness.What direful illusion led thee hither? Bereft of thee, what hold onhappiness remains to thy offspring and thy spouse? To lose thee by acommon fate would have been sufficiently hard; but thus suddenly toperish--to become the prey of this ghastly death! How will a spectaclelike this be endured by Wieland? To die beneath his grasp would notsatisfy thy enemy. This was mercy to the evils which he previously madethee suffer! After these evils death was a boon which thou besoughtesthim to grant. He entertained no enmity against thee: I was the object ofhis treason; but by some tremendous mistake his fury was misplaced. Buthow comest thou hither? and where was Wieland in thy hour of distress?
I approached the corpse: I lifted the still flexible hand, and kissedthe lips which were breathless. Her flowing drapery was discomposed.I restored it to order, and seating myself on the bed, again fixedstedfast eyes upon her countenance. I cannot distinctly recollect theruminations of that moment. I saw confusedly, but forcibly, that everyhope was extinguished with the life of CATHARINE. All happiness anddignity must henceforth be banished from the house and name of Wieland:all that remained was to linger out in agonies a short existence; andleave to the world a monument of blasted hopes and changeable fortune.Pleyel was already lost to me; yet, while Catharine lived life was nota detestable possession: but now, severed from the companion of myinfancy, the partaker of all my thoughts, my cares, and my wishes, Iwas like one set afloat upon a stormy sea, and hanging his safety upon aplank; night was closing upon him, and an unexpected surge had torn himfrom his hold and overwhelmed him forever.