“You…the little mermaid. You going to be quiet the whole night?”
“Whatever.” I waved a dismissive hand at her.
“If we did a fairy tale, a million women will show up like Belle or Cinderella. That’s so boring.” Piety shook her head.
“Okay…maybe something like Famous Lovers Throughout History.” I waved a hand. “We’ll pick something catchier for a title. And we can work in a line that if you don’t have a date, come as you are and we’ll help you meet your match.”
We tossed around a few more ideas but kept coming back to famous couples.
Piety insisted it should be famous people.
I’d probably end up agreeing. I wouldn’t be coming with anybody, that was for certain, even though it was still some ways off. I wasn’t feeling much like hooking up with my usual friend with benefits.
“Let me send myself an email on these things,” I said, clicking over to the window. I hadn’t checked my email in…days. Maybe a week.
Shit. The sheer number of messages in my inbox made me groan, and I thought about doing a nuclear method – delete them all.
But one name popped out. Piety. Pictures.
“You didn’t tell me you’d sent pictures,” I said, giving her an accusing look.
“You told me you wanted them.” She lifted a shoulder. “Why wouldn’t I send some?”
“Brat.” Clicking on the email, I started to download and whistled as I caught sight of the status bar. “How many did you send?”
“A lot. I took…” She laughed a little. “A lot. Here. I’ve got quite a few on my phone too.”
While the images downloaded and drained my battery, we huddled over her phone, and I scrolled through the pictures.
There was one of Kaleb running up from the beach, holding a surfboard, water running down his face and chest as a brilliant grin lit him up.
“He looks so happy,” I said softly.
“Yeah.”
And Piety…didn’t.
“What’s wrong?”
Turning to her, I reached over and took the phone, putting it down so she couldn’t change the subject.
“He misses Australia.”
Something about the way she said it turned me cold. “You’re not…I mean, are you thinking about moving there?”
“No, silly.” Piety laughed a little. “Camry is staying in the States. She’s happy here, and Kaleb won’t leave her, but…hell, with her in college now back in California, he doesn’t see her that much. He gave up everything for her, and now he’s giving up everything for me.”
She looked away, but I caught a lock of her hair, tugging on it until she looked back at me. “What gives, PS?”
“I…” She blew out a breath, then looked up at the cloud-strewn sky. “Astra, I’ve been thinking about asking Kaleb if he’d like to move to California.”
A hundred words leaped to my lips.
Why?
California?
How?
That’s stupid.
You can’t go!
Please!
I didn’t let myself say anything for the longest time, then slowly, I asked, “Why California? So he can be near Camry?”
“Yes.” She plucked at a loose thread on her shirt. “That…and he…don’t tell him we talked about this, okay? But he had dreams of opening his own surf shop back in Australia. And he’s so good at it. He says he’s not good enough to go pro, but so what? It makes him happy, and he could be surfing more and be near his sister and…”
“You want him to be happy,” I said into the lull.
“Yes.” Her eyes, bright and sharp, met mine.
I asked the question that was more important to me. “Will you be happy?”
Piety took my hands. “I’m married to a guy I love so much, it hurts. And he loves me. We’re getting ready to have a baby. And I love California. Why couldn’t I be just as happy there as I am here?”
“Then you should talk to him.” I was pleased. Those words had been delivered calmly and easily, and even though it hurt just to say them, I’d done it.
“You think so?”
No!
Ignoring that hurt little girl inside me, I nodded. “Absolutely.”
And I almost sounded like I meant it.
4
Astra
“Penelope, would you like another Bloody Mary?”
Mom glanced at my dad, an absent smile on her face, as though he’d pulled her from some comfortable daydream. I knew she didn’t mind the intrusion much. She’d use the strong drink to ease her return trip. She wasn’t a drunk, but she did like her mixed drinks.
“Absolutely, Elliot, darling.” They both shared a smile and Dad went off to get the Bloody Mary – and probably kiss the new chef – while Mom sipped her coffee and pretended to eat.
She’d had a few bites of her grapefruit and two forkfuls of egg while ignoring the fact that I preferred to eat and loved my curves rather than live in a constant state of hunger to stay slender like her.
My plate was full of French toast, cheesy eggs, a wonderful potato casserole, and bacon. Even if Dad was sleeping with the new chef, I couldn’t fault her cooking.
I couldn’t even fault her for fucking my dad, really.
Mom and Dad had never really enjoyed what one might call a match made in heaven. It had been a match made in financial planning and pedigree. I was the baby who had put a shining finish on what looked to be a picture-perfect marriage on the outside. Inside, it was just…empty. Not cruel or cold, but empty all the same.
Nearly ten minutes passed before Dad returned, and when he put the glass down next to Mother, she eyed it as if she’d forgotten she’d even asked for it.
I wasn’t surprised by that either. She lived in her own little world
“Have you seen Piety?” Mom asked. “Is she back from her honeymoon…where did she go again? Antigua, was it?”
Before I could answer, Dad did. “It was Australia, Penelope. With a stop in New Zealand, if I’m right.” He glanced at me, and I nodded.
If they were going to talk to each other, I’d just as soon be left out of it. I hated when they tried to act like we were a normal family. Not because I didn’t love them. I did. And I knew they loved me in their own way. But the only time they made this kind of attempt was when we were gathered around a table, eating one of our mandatory meals.
We had brunch every other Sunday, and dinner every other Thursday. I’d been forced to rearrange a class for that. The dinner had been on Mondays, but Mom found it too taxing to do anything at night after a Monday full of charity board meetings. So naturally, I rescheduled. I wouldn’t want to interfere with her “relaxation,” even if we all knew what exactly that was.
She had a massage therapist who relaxed the hell out of her.
My parents still shared a bed...just not with each other. Sometimes I wondered if they’d even used conventional methods to conceive me. They didn’t disgust each other or anything like that, but I’d honestly never seen any physical affection between them that went beyond a kiss on the cheek or an essentially platonic touch of a hand. They were always polite with each other, courteous, if not mostly cordial. They just lived in their own worlds.
When my mother informed me that we’d be changing our dinner night, I told her that it was almost impossible to change classes at that point in the semester. Her response had been to tell me to drop the class, her dismissive tone telling me how much she understood its importance to me.
I could still hear her words echoing in my head.
It’s not like you need the education, darling. You’re already smart. You’re beautiful, and you’re rich. You can have any man you want.
It did little good to argue with her. It was just how she saw the world.
In the end, I dropped the class simply so I wouldn’t have to fight with her. Sometimes, it just wasn’t worth it.
As they talked over me, I reached for the mimosa I’d made prior to sitting down and to
ssed half of it back. I should have used a large glass. Like a gallon-sized mason jar. That could get me through a brunch with them without wanting to scream just to shake things up.
“So…what does Piety’s new husband do?” Mom asked out of the blue, catching my attention.
“Do?” I stared at her.
She studied me with curiosity as I fumbled around for an answer, as if she couldn’t quite fathom that I hadn’t been hanging on her every word already.
“Yes, darling.” She waved a hand. “He clearly has impeccable taste, marrying Piety. Why didn’t you snag him for yourself?”
“Because he was interested in my best friend, and she was interested in him. I’m not in the habit of poaching,” I said with a sigh. This was the sort of thing I shouldn’t have to explain.
“Hush, Astra. I know that.” She laughed like it was a joke as she reached over and patted my hand. “I’m just making small talk. You’re so quiet. You didn’t answer though. Is he in finance? I imagine Silas would be ecstatic over that. Might help Piety settle her focus a bit.”
Because that’s what marriage should be about. Settling a focus.
Under the table, I twisted my napkin around my hands to keep from drumming my fingers on the tablecloth in a fit of pique. “Kaleb’s a surfer,” I said abruptly.
I’d almost blurted out that he’d been a stripper, but that was unfair. Being a smart ass just to shock my parents was something I might have done when I was oh…twelve. But I was better than that now. Besides, Piety didn’t need the sort of shit she’d get. They weren’t trying to hide Kaleb’s past, but there was a difference between not hiding and announcing it to my parents.
“A surfer.” Dad frowned, his eyebrows coming together over his eyes. Over the past couple of years, he’d finally stopped trying to resist the inevitable march of time and quit the botox injections, Now, his forehead actually moved when he made expressions, but he still looked strangely shocked as he spoke. “That’s an acceptable hobby, I suppose.”
I was sure Piety would be pleased to hear my parents’ endorsements.
“Maybe. He used to run a surf shop.” Picking up my bacon, I crunched into it with deliberate loudness, knowing it would irk Mom.
Okay, maybe I wasn’t completely grown up.
She frowned at me. “Please eat like you have some manners.”
“Sure.” Dabbing at my mouth, I looked over at Dad. “I don’t know much more about him though.”
I sure as hell wasn’t going to tell them about Camry. I didn’t fully trust her, but I wasn’t going to let her – and by association, Kaleb and Piety – become the newest fodder for Philadelphia gossip. My cousin, Blayne, had suffered through something similar when he’d gotten into an unconventional relationship a while back, and I wouldn’t subject anyone but my worst enemy to that.
“Well.” Mom’s voice was distant. “Perhaps I should have made an effort to speak to Amara before the relationship progressed so far. We might have been able to present Piety with better options.”
“You’re unbelievable,” I snapped, shoving back from the table. “It wouldn’t have made a difference.”
Mom’s head jerked up, lips already pursed in disapproval.
“She loves him, Mom. And he’s a good man. That’s all that matters. He worships the ground she walks on, and he’ll be an amazing father.” I shook my head, knowing even as I said the words, Penelope Van Pelt Traore would never understand. “They love each other.”
“There’s so much more to life than just love, darling.”
The condescending tone in my mother’s voice made me want to scream.
“Like what? Forcing your daughter to drop a college course so you can move family dinner on Thursdays because fucking your masseuse on Monday evenings was more convenient for you?” The words flew out of me.
I didn’t realize how angry I sounded until she sucked in a breath.
“That was uncalled for.” Her voice was cold, the way it always was when she felt like I’d crossed a line.
Tired now, I looked back at her. “Maybe. But it’s also true. I had to reschedule my life because you put what you wanted above me. I worked my ass off in that class for more than half a semester, and I lost all of it.”
With one hand, she reached up and patted her hair. “That’s hardly the point, Imogene.”
“Don’t call me that,” I said, annoyed. “I’m not a child. And that is exactly the point. Everything you do is to make a life that suits you. This wasn’t me being some spoiled brat who wanted to go out with her friends. Or you needing to do something important. It was you putting a fuck over a college class I’d put a lot of work into.”
“That is enough, young lady!” Her normally bright blue eyes were dark and stormy.
“Young lady?” I stared at her. “What are you going to do next? Send me to my room.”
“Enough.” Dad stepped between us and caught my shoulders. “Astra…you seem upset.”
“Do I?” I barked a bitter laugh, almost throwing his touch off before catching myself.
I was overreacting, I knew. Not because anything my mom said was right, but because it was nothing new. It shouldn’t have prompted such an intense reaction from me.
“What’s wrong, dear? Talk to me.” He gave me an encouraging smile, his dark gray eyes so similar to mine as he looked at me.
I desperately wanted to, but I knew I couldn’t tell him about everything that was going on with Piety. I stopped believing his smile after he’d assured me Max would be happy, and we’d go see him all the time. His love was just like my mom’s, based on what he needed. And right now, he needed peace. He didn’t really want to hear what was bothering me, but if that was the only way to calm things down, he’d do it.
“Stress,” I said shortly. Easing away from him, I moved to the sideboard and grabbed my purse. “Sorry to ruin brunch, but I need to be somewhere.”
Anywhere but here.
Ignoring their protests, I left, slipping out the front and heading for my car. I needed to think and clear my head.
As I pulled away from my childhood home, I found myself thinking that I didn’t want to come back.
At least not for a very long time.
That made me sad too.
I was losing Piety.
I’d never suffered the sort of abuse or neglect that I knew thousands of children did at the hands of their parents. I’d never known hunger or cold, never questioned where I’d be the next day. My safety had never been in question.
But for all the outward necessities and indulgences I’d been given, I still lacked the one thing I truly wanted.
Love.
Not in an obligatory sense, or just the sort of familial fondness that people had for someone who shared their DNA or name. But the sort of love that I would have given up every comfort and extravagance to have.
That was what I’d found with Piety. She was my family. If she moved to California…
I didn’t want to even think about it.
“No,” I said, deciding then and there. Avoidance hadn’t ever helped me, so I was going to stop.
If Piety left, then maybe I should leave too.
5
Dash
“Have you had a chance to look through the proposals I sent?” Sitting across from Senator Sondra Thatcher, I kept my hands folded in my lap and tried to meet her eyes, but it was difficult since she had a mask in place that was…well…distracting.
Sequins. Feathers.
A lot of sequins and feathers.
She was also wearing a wig. Either that or she’d found the be-all-end-all of hair growth treatments, because the last time we’d met, her hair was much shorter.
The huge, powdered masterpiece currently perched on her head gave me a headache just thinking about what she’d had to do to keep it in place.
“Yes, yes…” She pulled a compact from a purse that was barely bigger than my hand and checked her reflection. “Do you know who I am? I mean, who I’m
supposed to be, of course.
I studied her. The mole. The dress. The insane wig and mask.
She waved her purse at me, and I had to admit, it was a good touch. If somebody had no clue about history, the cake-shaped purse wouldn’t help but, fortunately, I’d always been good with history.
“Of course, Marie.”
She beamed at me. “You should have let me help you find a costume, Dash. It’s a Halloween party. You can have a little bit of fun, even if you’re here on business.”
“I’m sure I’ll have fun. I’m just not a costume person.” Clearing my throat, I tried once more to get her to focus on the rehab center. That’s why I was here, after all. I had no time for parties otherwise. “About my proposal…”
“Oh, hush.” This time, she pulled her mask off, gingerly though, taking care not to muss her hair. “Dash. I’ve already said that I’ve read your proposal. It’s solid. I want to talk to a few friends and see what they think, but I’m on board. However, I can’t do anything tonight.” She pointed a finger at me. “Now, you just relax and have fun. I haven’t had a night off in months, and I intend to enjoy this. You should do the same.”
The car came to a stop, and a few moments later. we began to make our way up to the house.
I didn’t want to tell her that the last thing I had on my mind was fun. Not just tonight, but every night. I had more important things to do. No doubt it would come out as insulting as hell, and I didn’t want to do that, not only because I needed her help, but because I did genuinely like her.
But I hadn’t come out here to have fun. I hadn’t come out here to wear a stupid mask or costume, either.
Once we were inside, I thought Sondra would go her own way, and I could find a peaceful corner, maybe deal with email, and reach out to the sponsor network I was trying to build. Get some work done.
But that wasn’t meant to be.
Sondra hooked her arm through mine. “Come on. I’d like you to meet one of our hosts.”
I was along for the ride as we went from one politician to another, then the daughter of a politician and her new husband. She looked familiar, but I couldn’t place why. I didn’t have time to figure it out either, because Sondra was moving me along.