Never mind. The gun might come in handy.
When they see it's gone, it's you they'll come looking for, Gard. I thought you already came to that conclusion.
No; that was one thing he didn't think he had to worry about. They would have noticed the changed words on the computer screen, but these clothes hadn't been touched since Bobbi took them off (or since they took them off her, which was probably more likely).
They must be too exalted when they get in here to bother much about housekeeping, he thought. Damn good thing there's no flies.
He touched the gun again. This time the voice in his head was silent. It had decided, perhaps, that there were no wives here to worry about.
If you have to shoot Bobbi, will you be able to?
That was a question he couldn't answer.
Slishhh-slishhh-slishhh.
How long had Bobbi and her company been gone? He didn't know; hadn't the slightest idea. Time had no meaning in here; the old man was right. This was hell. And did Peter still respond to his strange master's caress when she came in here?
His stomach was on the edge of revolt
He had to get out--get out right now. He felt like a creature in a fairy-tale, Bluebeard's wife in the secret room, Jack grubbing in the giant's pile of gold. He felt ripe for discovery. But he held the stiff, bloody garment in front of him as if frozen. Not as if; he was frozen.
Where's Bobbi?
She had a sunstroke.
Hell of a strange sunstroke that had soaked her blouse with blood. Gardener had retained a morbid, sickish interest in guns and the damage they could do to the human body. If she had been shot with the big old gun now in his own belt, he guessed Bobbi had no right to be alive--even if she had been taken quickly to a hospital which specialized in the emergency treatment of gunshot wounds, she probably would have died.
They brought me in here when I was blown apart, but the Tommyknockers fixed me up right smart.
Not for him. The old shower stall was not for him. Gardener had a feeling that he would be put out of the way with more finality. The shower stall had been for Bobbi.
They had brought her in here, and ... what?
Why, hooked her up to their batteries, of course. Not Anne, she had not been here then. But to Peter ... and Hillman.
He dropped the blouse ... then forced himself to pick it up again and put it back on top of the skirt. He didn't know how much of the real world they noticed when they got in here (not much, he guessed) but he didn't want to take any extra chances.
He looked at the holes in the back of the cabinet, the dangling cords with the steel plugs at their tips.
The green light had begun to pulse brighter and more rapidly again. He turned around. Anne's eyes were open again. Her short hair floated around her head. He could still see that unending hate in her eyes, now mixed with horror and growing strangeness.
Now there were bubbles.
They floated up from her mouth in a brief, thick stream.
Thought/sound exploded in his head.
She was screaming.
Gardener fled.
7
Real terror is the most physically debilitating of all emotions. It saps the endocrines, dumps muscle-tightening organic drugs into the bloodstream, races the heart, exhausts the mind. Jim Gardener staggered away from Bobbi Anderson's shed on rubber legs, his eyes bugging, his mouth hanging stupidly open (the tongue lolled in one corner like a dead thing), his bowels hot and full, his stomach cramped.
It was hard to think beyond the crude, powerful images which stuttered on and off in his mind like barroom neon: those bodies hung up on hooks, like bugs impaled on pins by cruel, bored children; Peter's relentlessly moving legs; the bloody blouse with the bullet-hole in it; the plugs; the old-fashioned washing machine topped with the boomerang antenna. Strongest of all was the image of that short, thick stream of bubbles emerging from Anne Anderson's mouth as she screamed inside his head.
He got into the house, rushed into the bathroom, and knelt in front of the toilet bowl, only to discover he couldn't puke. He wanted to puke. He thought of maggoty hot-dogs, moldy pizza, pink lemonade with hairballs floating in it; finally he rammed two fingers down his throat. He was able to trip a simple gag reaction by this last, but no more. He couldn't sick it up. Simple as that.
If I can't, I'll go crazy.
Fine, go crazy if you have to. But first do what you have to do. Keep it together that long. And just by the way, Gard, do you have any more questions about what you should do?
Not anymore he didn't. Peter's relentlessly moving legs had convinced him. That stream of bubbles had convinced him. He wondered how he could have hesitated so long in the face of a power that was so obviously corrupting, so obviously dark.
Because you were mad, he answered himself. Gard nodded. That was it. No more explanation was needed. He had been mad--and not just for the last month or so. It was late to wake up, oh yes, very late, but late was better than never.
The sound. Slishh-slishhh-slishhh.
The smell. Bland yet meaty. A smell his mind insisted on associating with raw veal slowly spoiling in milk.
His stomach lurched. A burning, acidic burp scorched his throat. Gardener moaned.
The idea--that glimmer--returned to him, and he clutched at it. It might be possible either to abort all of this ... or at least to put it on hold for a long, long time. It just might.
You got to let the world go to hell in its own way, Gard, two minutes to midnight or not.
He thought of Ted the Power Man again, thought of mad military organizations trading ever-more-sophisticated weapons with each other, and that angry, inarticulate, obsessed part of his mind tried to shout down sanity one final time.
Shut up, Gardener told it.
He went into the guest bedroom and pulled off his shirt. He looked out the window and now he could see sparks of light coming out of the woods. Dark had come. They were returning. They would go into the shed and maybe have a little seance. A meeting of minds around the shower cabinets. Fellowship in the homey green glow of raped minds.
Enjoy it, Gardener thought. He put the .45 under the foot of the mattress, then unbuckled his belt. It may be the last time, so--
He looked down at his shirt. Sticking out of the pocket was a bow of metal. It was the padlock, of course. The padlock which belonged on the shed door.
8
For a moment which probably seemed much longer than it actually was, Gardener was unable to move at all. That feeling of unreal fairy-tale terror stole back into his tired heart. He was reduced to a horrified spectator watching those lights move steadily along the path. Soon they would reach the overgrown garden. They would cut through. They would cross the dooryard. They would reach the shed. They would see the missing padlock. Then they would come into the house and either kill Jim Gardener or send his discorporated atoms to Altair-4, wherever that was.
His first coherent thought was simple panic yelling at the top of its voice: Run! Get out of here!
His second thought was the shaky resurfacing of reason. Guard your thoughts. If you ever guarded them before, guard them now.
He stood with his shirt off, his unbuckled and unzipped jeans sagging around his hips, staring at the padlock in his shirt pocket.
Get out there right now and put it back. Right Now! No ... no time ... Christ, there's no time. They're at the garden.
There might be. There might be just enough if you quit playing pocket-pool and get moving!
He broke the paralysis with a final harsh effort of will, bent, snatched up the lock with the key still sticking out of the bottom, and ran, zipping his pants as he went. He slipped out the back door, paused for just a moment as the last two flashlights slipped into the garden and disappeared, then ran for the shed.
Faintly, vaguely, he could hear their voices in his mind--full of awe, wonder, jubilation.
He closed them out.
Green light fanning out from the shed door, which stood
ajar.
Christ, Gard, how could you have been so stupid? his cornered mind raved, but he knew how. It was easy to forget such mundane things as relocking doors when you had seen a couple of people hung up on posts with coaxial cables coming out of their heads.
He could hear them in the garden now--could hear the rustle of the useless giant cornstalks.
As he reached toward the hasp, lock in hand, he remembered closing it before dropping it into his pocket. His hand jerked at the thought and he dropped the goddam thing. It thumped to the ground. He looked for it, and at first couldn't see it at all.
No ... there it was, there just beyond the narrow fan of pulsing green light. There was the lock, yes, but the key wasn't in it anymore. The key had fallen out when the lock thumped to the ground.
God my God my God, his mind sobbed. His body was now covered with oozing sweat. His hair hung in his eyes. He thought he must smell like a rancid monkey.
He could hear cornstalks and leaves rustling louder. Someone laughed quietly--the sound was shockingly near. They would be out of the garden in seconds--he could feel those seconds bustling by, like self-important businessmen with potbellies and attache cases. He went down on his knees, snatched up the lock, and began to sweep his hand back and forth in the dirt, trying to find the key.
Oh you bastard where are you? Oh you bastard where are you? Oh you bastard where are you?
Aware that even now, in this panic, he had thrown a screen around his thoughts. Was it working? He didn't know. And if he couldn't find the key, it didn't matter, did it?
Oh you bastard where are you?
He saw a dull glint of silver beyond where he was sweeping his hand--the key had gone much further than he would have believed. His seeing it was only dumb luck ... like Bobbi stumbling over that little rim of protruding metal in the earth two months before, he supposed.
Gardener snatched it and bolted to his feet. He would be hidden from them by the angle of the house for just a moment longer, but that was all he had left. One more screw-up--even a little one--would finish him, and there might not be enough time left even if he performed each of the mundane little operations involved in padlocking a door perfectly.
The fate of the world may now depend on whether a man can lock a shed door on the first try, he thought dazedly. Modern life is so challenging.
For a moment he didn't think he was even going to be able to slot the key in the lock. It chattered all the way around the slit without going in, a prisoner of his shaking hand. Then, when he thought it really was all over, it slid home. He turned it. The lock opened. He closed the door, slipped the arm of the padlock through the hasp, and then clicked it shut. He pulled the key out and folded it into his sweating hand. He slid around the corner of the shed like oil. At the exact moment he did, the men and women who had gone out to the ship emerged into the dooryard, moving in single file.
Gardener reached up to hang the key on the nail where he had found it. For one nightmare moment he thought he was going to drop it again and have to hunt for it in the high weeds growing on this side of the shed. When it slipped onto the nail he let out his breath in a shuddering sigh.
Part of him wanted not to move, to just freeze here. Then he decided he'd better not take the risk. After all, he didn't know that Bobbi had her key.
He continued slipping along the side of the shed. His left ankle struck the haft of an old harrow that had been left to rust in the weeds, and he had to clamp his teeth over a cry of pain. He stepped over it and slipped around another corner. Now he was behind the shed.
That sudsing sound was maddeningly loud back here.
I'm right behind those goddam showers, he thought. They're floating inches from me ... literally inches.
A rustle of weeds. A minute scrape of metal. Gardener felt simultaneously like laughing and screeching. They hadn't had Bobbi's key. Someone had just come around to the side of the shed and taken the key Gardener had hung up again only seconds before--probably Bobbi herself.
Still warm from my hand, Bobbi, did you notice?
He stood in back of the shed, pressed against the rough wood, arms slightly spread, palms tight on the boards.
Did you notice? And do you hear me? Do any of you hear me? Is someone--Allison or Archinbourg or Berringer--goingto suddenly pop his head around here and yell out "Peekaboo, Gard, we seeee you"? Is the shield still working?
He stood there and waited for them to take him.
They didn't. On an ordinary summer night he probably would not have been able to hear the metallic rattle as the door was unlocked--it would have been masked by the loud ree-ree-ree of the crickets. But now there were no crickets. He heard the unlocking; heard the creak of the hinges as the door was opened; heard the hinges creak again as the door was pushed shut. They were inside.
Almost at once the pulses of light falling through the cracks began to speed up and become brighter, and his mind was split by an agonized scream:
Hurts! It hurrrrr--
He moved away from the shed and went back to the house.
9
He lay awake a long time, waiting for them to come out again, waiting to see if he had been discovered.
All right, I can try to put a stop to the "becoming, " he thought. But it won't work unless I actually can go inside the ship. Can I do that?
He didn't know. Bobbi seemed to have no worries, but Bobbi and the others were different now. Oh, he himself was also "becoming"; the lost teeth proved that; the ability to hear thoughts did too. He had changed the words on the computer screen just by thinking them. But there was no use kidding himself: he was far behind the competition. If Bobbi survived the entry into the ship and her old buddy Gard dropped dead, would any of them, even Bobbi herself, spare a tear? He didn't think so.
Maybe that's what they all want. Bobbi included. For you to go into the ship and just fall over with your brains exploding in one big harmonic radio transmission. It would save Bobbi the moral pain of taking care of you herself, for one thing. Murder without tears.
That they intended to get rid of him, he no longer doubted. But he thought that maybe Bobbi--the old Bobbi--would let him live long enough to see the interior of the strange thing they had worked so long to dig up. That at least felt right. And in the end, it didn't matter. If murder was what Bobbi was planning, there was no real defense, was there? He had to go into the ship. Unless he did that, his idea, crazy as it undoubtedly was, had no chance to work at all.
Have to try, Gard.
He had intended to try as soon as they were inside, and that would probably be tomorrow morning. Now he thought that maybe he ought to press his luck a little further. If he went according to the rag and a bone he supposed he had to call his "original plan," there would be no way he could do anything about that little boy. The kid would have to come first.
Gard, he's probably dead anyway.
Maybe. But the old man didn't think so; the old man thought there was still a little boy left to save.
One kid doesn't matter-not in the face of all this. You know it, too--Haven is like a great big nuclear reactor that's ready to go red-line. The containment is melting. To coin a phrase.
It was logical, but it was a croupier's logic. Ultimately, killer logic. Ted the Power Man logic. If he wanted to play the game that way, why even bother?
The kid matters or nothing matters.
And maybe this way he could even save Bobbi. He didn't think so; he thought Bobbi had gone too far for salvation. But he could try.
Long odds, Gard ole Gard.
Sure. The clock's at a minute to midnight ... we're down to counting seconds.
Thinking that, he slipped into the blankness of sleep. This was followed by nightmares where he floated in a clear green bath, tethered by thick coaxial cables. He was trying to scream but he couldn't, because the cables were coming out of his mouth.
5.
THE SCOOP
1
Entombed in the overdecorated confines
of the Bounty Tavern--drinking buck-a-bottle Heinekens and laughed at by David Bright, who had sunk to vulgar depths of humor, who had even ended up comparing John Leandro to Superman's pal Jimmy Olsen--Leandro had wavered. No use telling himself otherwise. He had, indeed, wavered. But men of vision have always had to endure barbs of ridicule, and not a few have been burned or crucified or had their height artificially extended by five or six inches on the Inquisitorial rack of pain for their visions. Having David Bright ask him over beers in the Bounty if his Secret Wristwatch was in good working order was hardly the worst thing that could have befallen him.
But oh shit it hurt.
John Leandro determined that David Bright, and anyone else to whom Bright had related Crazy Johnny's ideas that Something Big Was Going on in Haven, would end up laughing on the other side of his or her face. Because something big was going on there. He felt it in every bone in his body. There were days, when the wind was blowing from the southeast, that he almost imagined he could smell it.
His vacation had begun the previous Friday. He had hoped to go down to Haven that very day. But he lived with his widowed mother, and she had been counting so on him running her up to Nova Scotia to see her sister, she said, but if John had commitments, why, she understood; after all, she was old and probably not much fun anymore; just someone to cook his meals and wash his underwear, and that was fine, you go on, Johnny, go on and hunt up your scoop, I'll just call Megan on the telephone, maybe in a week or two your cousin Alfie will bring her down here to see me, Alfie's so good to his mother, et cetera, et cetera, ibid., ibid., ad infinitum, ad infinitum.
On Friday, Leandro took his mother to Nova Scotia. Of course they stayed over, and by the time they got back to Bangor, Saturday was shot. Sunday was a bad day to begin anything, what with his Sunday-school class of first-and second-graders at nine, full worship services at ten, and Young Men for Christ in the Methodist rectory at five P.M. At the YMC meeting, a special speaker gave them a slide show on Armageddon. As he explained to them how unrepenting sinners would be inflicted with boils and running sores and ailments of the bowels and the intestines, Georgina Leandro and the other members of the Ladies' Aid passed out paper cups of Za-Rex and oatmeal cookies. And during the evening there was always a songfest for Christ in the church basement.