I didn’t stay in the house. I didn’t want to have to confront Jane if she thought I was snitching on her. Mind you, I didn’t want to face the Gamboges either. In fact, being in a crowd or hidden in the broom closet were probably the two safest options for me right now. I packaged up Travis’ effects and wrote his postcode on the front, reasoning that he would have relatives living with him at his last address. While I was dispatching this at the post office, I was handed a telegram that had just come down the line. Constance had replied to Jane’s poem.
TO EDWARD RUSSETT RG6 7GD ++ EAST CARMINE RSW ++ FROM
CONSTANCE OXBLOOD SW3 6ZH ++ JADE UNDER LIME GSW ++ MSGE
BEGINS ++ MUMMY AND I GREATLY MOVED BY YOUR POETIC WORDS
++ APOLOGIES FOR SUGGESTING ROGER FRONT RUNNER WHEN NO
DECISION MADE ++ ACTUALLY HES DEAD BORING ++ WILDLY EXCITED
AT POSSIBILITY OF YOUR SEEING BUNDLES OF RED ++ DADDY CAGEY ON
HOW MUCH PERCEPTION SECURES ME ISNT HE A TEASE QUESTION MARK
++ LOTS OF LOVE CONSTANCE XXXXXXXX ++ MSGE ENDS
It was excellent news—tantamount to making me the front-runner. She’d even ended the telegram with “All my love” and nine kisses, which bowled me over until Mrs. Blood explained that it would be the same price for two as for nine.
I returned home, made sure Jane wasn’t in the house, carefully filed the telegram in my valise and then hid under the bed for half an hour, before making my way down to the sports fields. The news from Constance raised my spirits a little, but probably not as much as I might have liked. Courtland had intimated that I wouldn’t be leaving, but he hadn’t met the Oxbloods—and when they wanted something, they generally got it.
Hockeyball
1.1.19.02.006: Team sports are mandatory in order to build character. Character is there to give purpose to team sports.
The three playing fields were on a flat piece of land between the village and the river and within sight of the Green Room. There were two wooden pavilions, a changing room, a scoreboard for cricket, tiered seating and several wheeled sight-screens. They had all once been brightly painted, but the colors had long since faded and were now just a series of pastel shades, the paint cracked and shrunken like a dry lake bed.
Of the three pitches, the most perfect was for cricket; for economic reasons it had only had the creases dyed green. The two others were for hockeyball and soccer, and although vaguely flat and clear of sheep droppings, they could have done with a good roll and a sprinkling of grass seed. But the place was cheery enough in an enthusiastically amateur sort of way, and aside from the faint smell of hot oil that was blowing across the fields from the linoleum factory, the setting was almost pleasant.
I was late in arriving for the match, partly because I was hoping to miss selection and be reduced to nothing more than a substitute, and partly to avoid bumping into Jane or Courtland. They were, in fact, already there and glared at me dangerously, leaving me with the odd choice of whom I feared more. In this context, probably Jane, as she was on the other side. On-field fatalities, although rare, were cited as “accidental” and thus carried no demerits—but only if the victim was actually in possession of the ball when the tackle occurred and the game was in play. I could avoid an attack from Jane as long as I never got the ball, but couldn’t guarantee that some fool wouldn’t give me an easy pass.
As to my hope of being made a substitute, it was not to be. I was handed a striped team jersey by Tommo, then a hockeyball stick by Courtland, who wished me good luck in such a pleasant manner that I could only think he meant entirely the opposite.
Naturally, serial overachiever Violet deMauve was the girls’ team captain. She looked me up and down as I arrived, the banana extortion incident doubtless still forefront in her mind.
“Glad you could be troubled to turn up,” she said, “not that it will make a scrap of difference to your humiliating defeat.”
“What does she mean?” I asked Doug as Violet strode off to give a pep talk to her team.
“The boys have never beaten the girls in the entire history of East Carmine hockeyball,” he replied somewhat cheerlessly. “We just run around a lot, try to avoid being hit with those damnable sticks and concede as soon as the score reaches ten-nil.”
“Wow,” I muttered. “I wouldn’t like to be the captain on this team.” They all stared at me as I said it, then clumped around me in a worrying fashion. “Blast,” I said.
“It’s me, isn’t it?”
“It’s traditionally the last person to arrive,” said Courtland with an unpleasant leer. With a sudden sinking feeling, I realized I should have avoided the match entirely.
“I’m captain?”
“Yes,” replied Courtland. “Looks like you’ll be able to dazzle us with your superior Green sector leadership qualities.”
“Listen, I’ve never captained hock—”
“Any strategy for us?” asked Doug. I could see I was wasting my breath. The captaincy decision had been made, and if I complained any further or attempted to back out entirely, I’d be seen as a bad sport.
“Strategy?” I mused. “How about this: Get the ball in between their goalposts, and try not to get too badly clobbered in the process.”
This frankly preposterous idea was met with laughter.
“Aren’t we a few players short?” I added, looking around. Whereas the girls’ team seemed to have a full side plus at least three substitutes, as well as a full complement of supporters and coaches, we were fielding a mere seven players, with no spectators at all except my father and Dorian, who was only there to photograph the girls when they won.
“Some players have unresolved issues with members of the girls’ team,” Doug explained, “and if there were a choice between a painful whack in the plums and ten demerits for missing the game, I know which one I’d choose.”
“Right,” said Violet, striding up like a terrier approaching a barnful of frightened rats. “Which of you hopeless losers has been designated captain?”
“That would be me,” I said, “and we can’t play, because we’re understrength.”
“Cowardice has its just deserts, now doesn’t it?” she answered, and there was a ripple of laughter from the girls. “Does that mean you concede? Or will you stand as men and play understrength?”
I almost agreed to concede, but I needed to explain myself to Jane. “According to the rules, we can take one of yours to make up the numbers.”
“Very well,” said Violet. “You can have the clumsy cluck.” She pointed at the unfortunate Elizabeth Gold, the one who had been recently scrubbed from Violet’s friendship book in favor of me. She was sitting on the substitute bench, looking dejected.
“No, I think we’ll take her,” I said, pointing at Jane. She stared back at me coldly. She’d trusted me, agreed to spare me from the yateveo, and now I’d betrayed her to the Colorman—or so she thought.
“Absolutely not,” said Violet. “Jane’s our most aggressive—I mean, our best attacker. You can have Liz.”
“It’s my choice, Violet.”
I turned to Daisy, who was the referee, and she ruled in my favor.
Violet glared at me, and Jane stepped forward. It was a good move on my part. She wouldn’t be able to legally kill me if we were on the same side. In fact, she’d be hard-pressed to explain away a hard tackle.
“Smart,” she whispered as she moved past me, “but it won’t save you.”
The boys all looked away as Jane pulled off her spotted jersey and replaced it with a striped one. Her departure raised concern among the girls, who realized they might actually receive a beating this year, and her arrival on our team raised morale. Only Courtland seemed less than happy, and he stared at her with the contemptuous look that high Yellows reserve for those on the very lowest strata.
“Fun’s over,” said Violet. “Has the swatchman been alerted?”
“He’s waiting on the touchline.”
I cursed inwardly. Dad wasn’t here to
support me after all. He was here on a professional basis. Violet jabbed a finger in my direction. “Which end do you want to lose from?”
“We’ll play into sun for the first half.”
“There won’t be a second half,” remarked Violet to another ripple of laughter. The girls went into a huddle to talk tactics, so we did the same.
“Okay,” I said, “who are the best players?”
Jabez, Keith and Courtland put up their hands, as did Jane.
“Right, you’re all strikers. I want—”
“Come on, Red,” interrupted Jane, “use your brain. No one except Violet is going to dare tackle Gamboge, so he’s our only player of relevance.”
No one could argue with this logic.
“So if we should ever get the ball, which I doubt,” continued Jane, “we pass to Courtland. And since Violet will be their striker, Jabez and Keith should shadow her at every opportunity and foul her when Daisy’s not watching. I’m on attack. The rest of you just try to get in the way of the other team.” And she walked off up the pitch.
“New plan,” I murmured. “We do as Jane suggests. I’m hopeless at this game, so I’m joining Jane upfield. Watch your shins, and do the best that you can. And I don’t want any dives or amateur dramatics. We get thrashed, but we put up a fair show for ourselves.”
There was a reluctant murmuring of agreement at this, and everyone went to their respective positions. I joined Jane, who simply stared at the ground, saying nothing.
The girls won the toss and bullied off. Within the space of no more than eight seconds, they had scored their first goal.
“Constance sent me a reply,” I said. “Your poem went down really well.”
“That’s a huge weight off my shoulders, Red. I hardly slept a wink last night, worrying whether you two would find the unhappiness you deserve.”
Her sarcasm was starting to grow on me in an odd sort of way. But she wasn’t so fond of small talk and rounded on me. “What did you tell the Colorman?”
I wasn’t quite so fearful this time. Maybe I was beginning to understand her better. “I didn’t tell him anything about you—just some daft theories of my own. But I’ll confess I’m confused and don’t know who to trust.”
“You can trust me.”
“Can I? Robin and Zane are both dead, and the Colorman tells me there’s twenty thousand merits kicking around somewhere. You were involved, and His Colorfulness is looking for you. The question I want to ask is this: Did you have a hand in Ochre’s death?”
For the first time since I’d met her, she looked genuinely upset. “Absolutely not. Robin’s death benefits no one. It was the worst thing that could have happened to this village and all who live here.”
“So who killed him? And don’t tell me he was Chasing the Frog or had misdiagnosed himself.”
She looked down for a moment, and her voice went quieter.
“I don’t know. I wish I did, but I don’t. There aren’t many things that scare me, but whoever got to Ochre, they scare me.”
“I didn’t have you down as the ‘being scared’ sort.”
“Well, you don’t know everything, do you?”
“That’s an improvement. Twenty-four hours ago you had me knowing nothing.”
She recovered her composure, and when she spoke next it was with her usual vigor.
“What have you found out about the Colorman?”
Before I knew what I was doing, I was telling her everything. Consciously, I was in a quandary over loyalties. Unconsciously, I was with Jane all the way. “He knows there was a third person in the swatch scam. It’s his only concern. I told him there might be someone in the village who can see at night, and he couldn’t have been less interested.”
“You told him what?”
“That there—”
“I heard. Someone who can see at night? What makes you think that?”
I told her about the wheelbarrow, but she, like the Colorman, wasn’t impressed.
“What else did you tell him?”
“Only that there was something hokey about Ochre’s death—and Travis was a murder.”
She shook her head sadly. “Look here,” she said. “You seem like a vaguely okay person—for a Red. Just count your chairs and head home. You’ll wangle a ticket somehow. All these questions are not going to make you smart or worldly-wise or any better off. They’re going to make you dead.”
“That means you kind of care about me, doesn’t it?”
“Not at all. I play the long game and I may need a favor from you one day—dead people don’t do favors.”
“You didn’t have to tell me that. You could have let me believe you cared.”
“You’re too old for a nursemaid, Red. Yours.”
“What?”
“YOURS!”
Strange as it might have seemed, the ball was actually coming our way. I took the shot and whacked it up-pitch, where, as if by magic, Jane was already waiting to receive it. Imogen Fandango was in goal, but she didn’t stand a chance, and the ball zipped past her so quick she didn’t even see it. The whistle blew and the fighting stopped, except for Tommo, who was tussling with Cassie and seemed to be coming out the loser. Daisy’s whistle blowing a quarter inch from their ears made them stop, and they growled and snapped at each other before calming down.
“You’ve got a new idea for a strategy,” said Courtland as we all gathered for a confab. We’d lost Jabez, who was being stitched up by Dad on the touchline, but no one cared about numbers anymore.
“I have?”
“Yes, and here it is: I’m going to be striker and everyone else works my defense. Tommo, you tackle Daisy and pocket her whistle. Once I get the ball, all you have to do is defend me in whatever way you can. The Grey—”
“It’s Jane,” said Jane.
“Very well. Jane takes my right flank, because no one will dare tackle her, and Keith, you take my left, because I know you can soak up a beating without going down.”
“Okay,” said Keith.
“Right,” I said, since it sounded like a good plan, even if illegal. “What do I do?”
“Nothing,” growled Courtland. “Your job is to carry the can.”
“Come on,” said Jane, “is this really necessary? I know Russett’s a drip, but he is a guest in the village.”
He ignored her, and they all walked off to the bully-point.
“What’s going on?” I said to Tommo as he walked past. “My job is to carry the what?”
“The can,” repeated Tommo with a snigger. “Surely you know? The team captain has to take full responsibility for his team if they cheat. And with the amount of merits you’ve got, we can do a fair amount of cheating. And listen, I think Courtland’s seriously browned off with you about something—and I’m not that pleased with you myself. You lied to me. You lied to all of us.”
I stood there dumbfounded as the clacks from the bully-off started, and play began. Within a second, Courtland was off, Daisy had been parted with her whistle and the violence had begun.
Demerits and Violet
2.3.09.23.061: Slouching is not permitted under any circumstances
“Two broken collarbones, three twisted ankles, two fractured tibias, bruises without number, a thumb half torn off, two fractured wrists, Gerry Puce with a compound break to the femur and Lucy had to have her ear stitched back on.”
“The ear I can explain. She was on the subs bench and—”
“Quiet, Russett.” Head Prefect deMauve closed the report and stared at me. “What in Munsell’s name did you think you were doing? Leading a legion of first-strike retaliators against a horde of marauding Riffraff?”
It was half an hour after the game ended, and Violet and I were in the prefect’s chambers to account for our actions. The game had developed into a violent free-for-all and gone rapidly downhill from there. Daisy had broken Tommo’s thumb to retrieve her whistle, then blown it so hard and for so long that she passed out. Dorian had the presence
of mind to take a photo, thus preserving the unprecedented event for all time, and the violence only stopped when I whacked the ball into the Green Room’s walled enclosure, where no one dared enter. Of the players, only those wise enough to have scattered avoided serious injury, and the damage was pretty evenly distributed between the teams, with Courtland accounting for most of it. He lashed out at anyone with whom he had a score to settle—which was almost everyone, it seemed—safe in the knowledge that I, as captain, would be called to account for his actions. He could have nobbled me, too, but he didn’t; I think he wanted to see me humiliated and demerited before he had his revenge.
I had Violet sitting next to me as codefendant. The girls’ team had also decided to ignore the rules and attack anything that moved—which was pretty much what they usually did, only with the legality of a whistle.
DeMauve was sitting on a raised dais, with the Council in a semicircle in front of and below him. As he spoke, they pulled long faces, shook their heads and gave out accusatory “tuts.” We were still muddied and bloody: I had got away with only bruising, and Violet had a hastily stitched gash on the back of her head. Her hair, which this morning had been so perfect, was now matted with blood.
“Puce’s femur may take a month to be completely right again,” said Turquoise in a sober tone, “and every day away from work is a day lost to the Collective. Finbarr Gardenia’s collarbone was pushed through the skin—he may be permanently lopsided. What do you say to that?”
“Pardon me?” I said, for I had been thinking about the wheelbarrow again.
“I was asking,” repeated deMauve in a testy manner, “how you felt about all the injuries?”
“It would have been a lot worse if I hadn’t introduced my priority queuing system,” I replied, feeling impulsive.
“We’ll get around to your queuing presently,” barked Gamboge, who had been glaring at me dangerously since the moment I walked in, “and remember where you are.”
“Violet,” deMauve continued as he turned to his daughter, “do you have anything you’d like to say?”