CHAPTER XVI
CORNERED
When Joyce made her final plea to be sent home to her people withoutwaiting for the spring, it met with little opposition. Meredith had cometo the point of almost welcoming a break in the impossible deadlock atwhich his domestic life had arrived. His beloved one's nerves had brokendown from one cause and another, and she was drifting into the habits ofa confirmed invalid. If he did not let her go, he would, perhaps, haveto stand aside and watch her increasing intimacy with the doctor whom hecould not challenge without creating a disgusting scandal; which wouldmake life in Bengal intolerable for himself as well as for her. So heagreed to her departure with the child in the hope that "absence wouldmake her heart grow fonder," and that she would come back to him,restored, when the cold season returned and made life in India not onlytolerable, but pleasant.
Hurried arrangements were put through, a passage secured, and Joyceroused herself to bid her friends a formal farewell.
At the Brights', only Honor was at home, her mother having driven to thebazaar for muslin to make new curtains. Christmas was approaching and ageneral "spring cleaning" was in full swing in order that everythingshould look fresh for the season.
"It is the greatest day in the year, and even the natives expect us tohonour it. Our festival, you know," Honor explained.
"It always looks so odd to have to celebrate Christmas with a warm sunshining and all the trees in full leaf!" said Joyce. "That is why itnever feels Christmas to me. I miss the home aspect,--frost and snow,and landscapes bleak and bare."
"The advantage lies with us. We can calculate on the weather withconfidence, and it is so much more comfortable to feel warm. And theneverything looks so bright!"
"I am glad you like it since you have to stay. I hate India more thanever."
Honor looked earnestly at her, and wonderingly. "Isn't it rather awrench to you to leave your husband?" Joyce had grown so apathetic andcold.
For answer her friend broke down completely, and wept as though herheart would break. "We seem to be drifting apart. Oh, Honey, I love himso!"
"Then why go?"
"I must. I want to think things over and recover by myself. I am tryingto forget all about that night in the ruins, and hoping for time to putthings to rights. Perhaps I shall return quite soon. Perhaps, if thedoctor is transferred, I shall find courage to write and tell Ray allabout _it_. I am all nerves, sometimes I believe I am ill, for I can'tsleep well and have all sorts of horrid dreams about cholera, andsnakes, and Baby dying of convulsions! So, you see, a change is what Imost need; and I am so homesick for Mother and Kitty! I cry at a word. Istart at every sound, and if Baby should fall ill, it would be the laststraw."
"But what is to happen when you are away, if, while you are here youfeel you are drifting apart?"
"When I am away, he will forget my silly ways and remember only that Iam his wife and how much he loves me. He _does_ love me, nothing canalter that; but lately I have held aloof from him for reasons I haveexplained to you, and he is hurt. You may not understand how desperatelymean I feel, and how unfit to kiss him and receive his kisses after whathas happened. For the life of me I could not keep it up without tellinghim all. And how could I, when Captain Dalton is convalescent and myhusband will have to meet him when he is able to get about again?Already he is talking of going round to chat with him. You see, he doesnot know!"
Honor was deeply perplexed. "Of course, you must do as you please, butin your place, I would tell him everything, and as he knows how dearlyyou love him, and only him, he will, I am certain, give up all desirefor revenge. At a push, he might ask for a transfer."
Joyce shuddered. "I'd rather leave things to time. Later on, I can tellhim all about it, and, perhaps, by then, Captain Dalton will have beentransferred. Don't you love me, Honey?"
"Of course I love you."
Joyce flung her arms round Honor's neck and kissed her warmly. "You werelooking so cold and disapproving! Take care of Ray for me, will you? andwrite often to me about him. I shall miss him terribly," and she sobbedunrestrainedly.
When Meredith saw her safely to Bombay, preparatory to her embarkation,he allowed himself to show something of the grief he felt at having togive up for an indefinite time what he most valued on earth. In theseclusion of their room at the hotel, he held her close in his arms anddevoured her flower-like face with eyes of hungry passion.
"So, not content with holding yourself aloof from me, you are leaving meto shift for myself, the best way I can!" he said grimly.
Joyce's lips quivered piteously and she hid her face in his shirt-front.
"Has it never occurred to you," he said, "that a man parted too longfrom his wife, might get used to doing without her altogether?"
Two arms clung closer in protest. "But never you!" she replied withconfidence.
"Even I," he said cruelly. He wanted to hurt her since she had walkedover him, metaphorically, with hobnailed boots. "India is a land of manytemptations."
"But you love me!"
"God knows I do. But I am only a very ordinary human man whose wifeprefers to live away from him in a distant land."
"Ray, you are saying that only to be cruel!"
"Because I am beginning to think you have no very real love for me."
"I love you, and no one else!"
"I have seen very little evidence of love, as I understand it. A greatmany things count with you above me. The child comes first! God knowsthat I have idolised you. Perhaps this is my punishment! but Iworshipped you, and today you are deliberately straining the cord thatbinds us together. The strands will presently be so weak that they willsnap altogether. Then all the splicing afterwards will never restore itto its original strength. It will be a patched-up thing--its perfectiongone. Remember, a big breach between husband and wife may be mended--butnever again is there restored what has been lost!" He lifted her chinand kissed her cold lips roughly. "When do you mean to return? Can't yousuggest an idea of the time?"
"Whenever you can get leave to fetch me," she answered with sobbingbreath.
"I swear to God I will not do so!" he broke out. "You may stay as longas you choose. I shall then understand how much I count with you. Irefuse to drag back an unwilling wife."
"Oh, Ray! Don't talk like that! Won't you believe that I love you?"
"I would sell my soul to believe it ... to bank all my faith on it!"
"It is true!"
"Prove it now."
"How can I?"
"Let me cancel the passage, and come back with me."
Her face fell. "I could not do that after all the arrangements have beenmade. Mother will be so disappointed--besides, people will think memad!"
Meredith released her and turned away, a fury of jealousy at his heart."Ever since that night at the ruins you have become a changed being. Itried not to think so, but, by God! you have forced me to. One mightalmost imagine you are running away from Captain Dalton. Is thereanything between you?" he asked coming back to face her, white andshaken.
Joyce burst into tears. "I don't understand what you are accusing meof!" she sobbed, panic-stricken.
"Are you in love with that man?"
This was something tangible and Joyce was roused to an outburst ofhonest indignation. "No!--no! A thousand times, no! How dare you thinkso! How dare you imply I am lying? I have said I love you, but I shallhate you if you hurt me so!"
Meredith's face lightened as he swung about the room. "It all comes backto the same thing in the end. It is good-bye, maybe, for years!"
Early the next morning, he saw his wife on board with the child andayah, and then returned to his duties at Muktiarbad, a lonely andheavy-hearted man.
Captain Dalton recovered, was granted sick leave by the Government, anddisappeared from the District for a sea trip to Ceylon.
Tommy mentioned the fact to Honor having just learned it from him on theplatform of the railway station where he was awaiting the Calcuttaexpress, surrounded with baggage and with servants i
n attendance. He waslooking like a ghost and was in the vilest of tempers; not even havingthe grace to shake hands on saying good-bye!
Honor turned aside that the boy might not see the disappointment in herface. Her heart was wrung with pain. Not once had Captain Dalton made aneffort to see her.
Her father had smoked a cigar with the invalid one evening when he wasallowed to sit up on a lounge in his own sitting-room, and had beenasked to convey thanks and gratitude to Mrs. Bright for her manykindnesses to the patient in his illness; but there had been noreference to "Miss Bright"; nor did he give any sign that he rememberedwhat had passed between them at his bedside, the one and only time thathe had seemed to recognise her and had spoken unforgettable words.
It was cruel; it was humiliating!
Honor had been trying by degrees to teach herself to believe that he hadspoken under the influence of delirium. Perhaps he had been thinking ofsomeone else outside her knowledge? But she could not forget how sanelyhe had recalled the time he had treated her for snake-bite. His wordswere burned into her brain as with fire--"When you came to me for helpin your danger and suspense; when I saw into that brave, staunch heartof yours, and, for the first time, knew a true woman!"
There was no delirium in that!
What did it all mean? If he really loved her, why did he not want her asshe wanted him? Why did he treat her with such indifference and woundher to the heart?
There was no answer to her questioning. Captain Dalton was, as always,unaccountable, and Honor lifted her head proudly, and determined tothink no more of him. She gave herself up to the arrangements for ahappy Christmas, and, for the next week, was the busiest person atMuktiarbad.
Tommy, claiming assistance from his chum, Jack, was ready to draw up aprogramme for a gala week. There would have to be polo, tennis, and golftournaments if the residents entered into the spirit of enjoyment andwere sporting enough to fill the Station with guests.
"Who do you suppose will care to come to a dead-and-alive hole likethis?" Jack remarked, throwing cold water, to begin with, on hisfriend's enthusiasms. "It will be a waste of energy especially when theyare having a race meeting at Hazrigunge!"
"Even this dead-and-alive hole might be made entertaining if we put ourshoulders to the wheel."
"There are not enough of us. You might count the doctor out--he's away.Meredith is no good. His wife's left him for the present and he lives inthe jungles with a gun. With half-a-dozen men, one girl, and a host ofMrs. Grundies, you are brave if you think you can manage to engineer agood time. Take my advice, old son, and leave people to spend their timeas they please. After all, Christmas is a time for the kiddies; not oldstagers like you and me."
Jack's spirits were conspicuously below par, and there had been signsand symptoms of boredom, reminiscent of Bobby Smart whenever he had beenseen in company with Mrs. Fox.
"Can't you work up some little interest?" Tommy asked impatiently. "It'sbeastly selfish of you, to say the least of it."
"I might spend Christmas in town."
"I might have known that. I heard something last night about Mrs. Foxhaving an invitation to spend Christmas with friends in Calcutta," wasthe pointed rejoinder.
"Pity you did not think of it before."
"Chuck it, Jack!" said Tommy earnestly, putting a hand affectionately onhis friend's shoulder.
"I wish to God I could," was the gloomy reply. "It's so easy to get intotrouble, but so devilishly difficult to get out of it again, decently."
"I'd do it indecently, if it comes to that! You think it's 'playing thegame' to keep on with an affair of that sort? It's a damned low-downsort of game, anyhow, with no rules to keep; so chuck it before worsehappens."
Jack lighted a cigarette deliberately and made no reply. Hisgood-looking, young face was looking lean and thoughtful; he hadsuddenly changed from boyish youth to _blase_ middle age; the elasticityof his nature was gone; his laugh was rarely heard, and he seemed tokeep out of the way of his friends. Even Tommy had ceased to share hisconfidence. There was a rumour that the Collector had spoken to him likea father and was seriously thinking of having him transferred--asuggestion which had been made by his wife, prompted by Honor. Buttransfers were not effected in a twinkling, and Jack still remained atMrs. Fox's beck and call, took her out in his side car, and was oftenmissing of an evening when it was expected of him to turn up at aspecial gathering of his friends.
In desperation Tommy confided to Honor that Christmas was going to be asdull as Good Friday, as there would be nothing doing. And Honor not tobe beaten, collected subscriptions, sent out invitations, and threwherself heartily into the task of organizing a good time.
In the end, Christmas week at Muktiarbad was a season of mild amusementand effortless good-fellowship. A few guests arrived to assist in makingmerry, and there was no discordant note to jar the harmony of thegatherings.
* * * * *
Jack arrived at the crisis of his life, on Christmas Eve, in Calcutta,when he felt that the invisible bonds threatening to enslave him weresuddenly tightened, rendering his escape well-nigh impossible.
He had taken a box at the theatre, from which he and Mrs. Fox watchedthe "Bandmann Troupe" in their latest success.
"What a mercy we are not staying at the same hotel, Jack," said Mrs.Fox. "It did feel rotten at first, but as it turns out, it will be allfor the best, old thing. I have extraordinary news for you."
"You have?--out with it!" he said absently. She had so often surpriseson him which generally ended in some new suggestion of intrigue, that hewas both unmoved and incurious.
"First tell me how fond you are of me. You haven't said much about itsince we came to town."
"We haven't been so very much alone, have we?"
"No, worse luck! but there is no reason why you should not make up forit whenever we are together. You must have heaps of quite charmingthings to say? In fact, you do love me tremendously, Jack, don't you?"she coaxed.
"I thought I had proved it sufficiently," he said colouring withannoyance while he tried to look amiable.
"You are a darling--like your silly old name which I adore! What atopping world this is! You don't know how much you have alteredeverything for me. I feel such a kid, and everyone tells me I might bein my teens!" she said with a pitiable attempt to be kittenish.
Jack turned away, sickened by her vain folly, and frowned involuntarily.What an outrageous ass he had been! However, some day he would breakaway from his chains; only, he must do it decently. Let her down gently,so to speak, as she was so damned dependent on his passion, which hadlong since died a natural death.
Mrs. Fox snuggled her hand into his. "Say something nice, my BeautyBoy," she wheedled.
Jack squirmed inwardly; nevertheless, to oblige her he admired her gownand called up the ghost of the smile which had once been his specialcharm.
"How lovely it would be if you and I were husband and wife,Jack?--sitting here, together, in the eyes of all the world?"
"Lovely," echoed Jack, dutifully.
"You would never fail me, dearest, would you? Say, supposing I were, bysome miracle, free?"
Knowing that she was securely bound, Jack felt safe in assuring her thathe would never dream of failing her. It was his belief that this, andother vows he had unthinkingly made, were impossible of fulfilment intheir circumstances.
"What a boy it is!--always so shy of letting himself go. Look at me. Iwant to see if your eyes are speaking the truth. There is something ofimportance I have to tell you relating to our two selves and thefuture."
Jack obeyed, curious and not a little anxious because of thehalf-suppressed note of excitement she could not keep out of her voice.The shaded lights of the theatre were not too dim to show the fine linesat the corners of her mouth and the obvious effort to supply by art whatnature had failed to perpetuate. But the egotism of a woman grown usedto her power to charm, dies hard.
Jack's eyes fell nervously before the questioning in hers.
/> "Tell me, don't you believe we could be very happy together?"
"Why should you doubt me?" he said evasively.
"I don't doubt you, but I want the joy of hearing you say so. To me itis so wonderful,--what is about to happen,--that I am afraid I shallwake up and find it is all a dream!" she said fatuously, gazing withadoration at Jack's fine physique and boyish, handsome face. "You haveoften feared possibilities, and said you would stand by me if anythingwent wrong between Barry and myself."
Jack remembered having often said much that had made him hotlyuncomfortable to recall afterwards.
"Didn't you, Jack, dear?"
"Of course," he said desperately. "What else do you suppose, unless I ama howling cad?"
"I know you are not, that is why I simply adore you. You are so true, sosincere! My beau ideal of manhood!----"
"Well, it is like this. Barry has come to the conclusion that it isn'tfair to either of us to keep dragging at our chains when we have longceased to care for each other, so he wrote, yesterday, to tell me thathe would put no obstacle in my way if I wished to divorce him. There issomeone he is keen on and whom he will marry in due course. I can do thesame. He has heard about you--just rumour--but as a woman is always theone to suffer most in a suit for divorce he has most generouslysuggested that the initiative should come from me. Rather decent of him,what?"
"Tremendously decent," said Jack his heart becoming like lead in hisbreast. For a moment the lights of the theatre swam; he felt deadly sickand cold, and failed to take in the sense of what she continued to say.In the midst of his mental upheaval the lights mercifully went down andthe curtain up, so that much of his emotion passed unnoticed.
"Why Jack!--think of it, we shall be able to marry after it is allfinished!--only a few months to wait!"
"Yes," said he with dry lips.
"Try to look as if you are glad!" she teased. "You know you are crazywith delight. It is what we were longing for. Be a little responsive,old dear," she said, giving his hand a squeeze.
Jack returned the pressure, feeling like a trapped creature with no hopeof escape. Marriage with Mrs. Barrington Fox had never at any timeentered into his calculations. He was too young, to begin with, andcertainly did not wish to be tied down to the woman who had played uponhis untried passions.
Waves of self-disgust and dread seemed to overwhelm him.
He sat on for the next few minutes seeing nothing, hearing nothing,saying nothing, while he anathematised himself mentally as every kind ofa fool, Barrington Fox as a contemptible blackguard, and the womanbeside him as something unspeakable. He could not deny his ownculpability; but he had felt all along that a nature like his was as waxin such unscrupulous and experienced hands.
He had been weak--yes, damnably weak! that was about the sum and totalof it. And he would have to spend the rest of his life in paying for it!
What would the mater say? He thought of her first; the proud andhandsome dame who had placed all her hopes on her eldest son--whothought no one good enough to be his wife.
His pater?--and the girls?
He had never associated them in his thoughts with Mrs. Fox, nor dreamedof their meeting even as acquaintances. The contrast was too glaring.
His career?
Well!--the Government did not approve discreditable marriages; but, onthe other hand, it did not actively interfere with a Service man'sprivate affairs. A good officer might make his way in spite of anunfortunate marriage. There were worse instances in the "Indian Civil"than his. But he was certain, at any rate, he would be socially donefor!
Gradually he had come to realise that all the stories concerning Mrs.Fox must have been true, and that she had been tolerated by societypurely on account of her husband--and he was now proved no better thanshe!
Be that as it may, he saw no way out of his dilemma save by dishonouringhis written and spoken word. One was as good as the other and he felthimself hopelessly snared. The lady would have to become his wife, andhe would spend the rest of his life dominated by her personality,fettered by her jealous suspicions, and suffering in a thousand otherways, as men suffer, who rashly marry women several years older thanthemselves.
Mrs. Fox laughed merrily at the comic situation in the performance togive Jack time to recover himself, but her eyes gleamed anxiously.
She was sufficiently woman of the world and quick-witted enough tocomprehend the shock to Jack and his consequent stupefaction. But he wasyoung enough for his nature to be played upon, and she was determinednot to lose her advantage. She banked all her hopes on his sense ofhonour, and continued to thank her stars that her luck was "set fair."