CHAPTER XVIII
SECRET JOYS
Honor seemed to walk on air all day. The whole world had changed for herin a twinkling, and her heart sang for very joy at being alive. God hadanswered her appeal and had given her the love of this lonely man whosesoul was sick and wanted tender nursing back to health. Henceforward itwould be her privilege to restore to him his lost ideals and revive hisfaith in God and human nature. Her belief in the power of truth and lovebeing securely established, she had no fears for a future spent withBrian Dalton, for all his failures and misdeeds.
Her only regret was, having to keep her happiness to herself for thepresent, when she longed to share it with her mother: and to atone forher enforced reserve, she tried to be more than ever attentive andconsiderate to her while she looked forward to the time, not fardistant, when she would obtain her forgiveness and blessing.
Captain Dalton's professional duties kept him engaged till dusk, when,much to the surprise of the members, he reappeared at the Club. He wasimpatient to meet Honor again and to exact from her lips renewedassurances of her unchanged feelings and good faith, for he was restlessand unable to accept the astounding truth, being suspicious of his goodfortune and distrustful of circumstances.
On the whole, the meeting was unsatisfactory on account of the lack ofopportunity for a _tete-a-tete_. Constant interruptions owing to Honor'spopularity, had the effect of driving him into his accustomed aloofnessof manner tinged with aggressiveness towards offending persons. Tommy'spersistent claims on Honor's comradeship were particularly aggravating,and not to be borne.
"I shall wring his neck if he butts in again," Dalton mutteredviciously.
"We have known each other since we were children," Honor put in as asoftener.
"I can't stick it here for another minute," he said with a suppressedcurse. "Let's get out of this!"
To Honor, it was joy to be with him even in the midst of a company ofothers. Her satisfaction lay in the knowledge that she was beloved andhis whispered endearments gave her bliss. His voice at her ear was thesweetest music she had ever heard when it said, "Honey!" or"Sweetheart!" and asked her to repeat that she loved him. "You know Ido," she once answered. Thereupon their eyes met for a brief moment andher senses swooned under the intensity of his gaze. In that fraction oftime he had, by suggestion, kissed her with such passion and longing--asat the _jhil_--that her breath fluttered in a sob, her eyes wereblinded. He was teaching her to want him even as he wanted her till shewas thrilled at the strength of their love. It was glorious that theywere both young, with so many years of their lives before them in whichto grow nearer to each other. "And they twain shall be one flesh,"seemed the most blessed psychological miracle that her virgin mind couldconceive.
"Where shall we go?" she answered indulging his demand to take her awayfrom the Club.
"We can go for a spin in my car."
"It is so dark!"
"Do you mind?" His voice sounded hurt, and Honor, who was sensitive toits inflection, immediately yielded. She feared venomous tongues, but,the most deadly of them all being absent--Mrs. Fox having taken up herabode in Calcutta while her case was pending--she was reassured.
"Mother dear, I am going for a little run in Captain Dalton's car, ifyou don't mind," she called softly to Mrs. Bright who was busyorganising a bridge party in the Ladies' Room.
Mrs. Bright looked surprised. Doubtful thoughts flashed through hermind,--fear of gossip, reluctance to stand in the way of innocentpleasure, and wonder that the doctor should have shown a suddeninclination towards sociability. Seeing a critical expression lurking inMrs. Ironsides' eye her dignity was immediately in arms.
"Certainly, darling, but don't be late. Mind you wrap up properly," shereturned cordially. Mrs. Ironsides would have to appreciate the factthat Honor had her mother's fullest trust and confidence. However,throughout the ensuing rubber she could not avoid mentally speculatingon the possibility of the most eligible bachelor in the Districtbeginning to consider her child from a matrimonial point of view.
Miss Bright passed out into the darkness with Captain Dalton, her eyesshining with a new beauty, and Tommy watched her, filled with dismay.What was the meaning of it? Honor with the doctor, of all men! Thedoctor paying Honor marked attentions, and she accepting them with sweetgraciousness! He forgot to pull at his cigar which went out while hestared into the night with eyes that saw only the look in the girl'seyes as she walked beside Dalton towards his car.
The motor drive was repeated occasionally, and it became an ordinaryevent for Honor to shoot duck on the Panipara Jhil in his company. "Itis better than tramping the _jhil_ alone," Mrs. Bright said, when thesubject was mentioned in her presence. "I have always felt anxious whileshe has been absent on her snipe-shooting expeditions alone, but am somuch easier in mind now that the doctor has taken charge of her. He issuch an unerring shot, I am told; and she is learning to be so carefulunder his guidance."
It was the least of the lessons Honor learned from the doctor. He taughther the delights of a perfect companionship founded on mutual love; aman's reverence for the woman he respects: a complete knowledge of herown heart; its power of devotion, its great depths, and stores offeeling.
Sometimes Ray Meredith joined them in his fleeting visits to theStation--a lonely and pathetic being, in need of companionship, andgrateful for friendly attentions. His wife wrote regularly, he said, andshe and the child were well. Otherwise, he spoke little of his absentfamily. Sometimes Tommy would meet them on the _jhil_ and share theirpicnic luncheon. Jack was never accorded an invitation. On theseoccasions, the lovers would play at being ordinary friends but with poorsuccess. Honor would avoid meeting the doctor's eyes, while the doctor'seyes were unable to stray long from contemplation of her engaging facewhich had never looked so lovable and full of charm.
With a quickened intuition, Tommy realised that his own sun had set, andhe went about his business, a very subdued being; one who had lost allinterest in his occupations and who was finding very little in lifeworth living for.
When Honor was alone with Dalton, they would discuss the future, andplan their Elysium together. He was engaged in making arrangements fortaking up a practice in Melbourne, where a colleague, formerly hissenior, had retired and was eager for his young brains in partnership.When everything was settled, her parents were to be told, after whichthey would be quietly married at the Mission, and leave for Australia."You will not mind such a hole-and-corner sort of wedding?" he askedanxiously.
"What does it matter, so long as we are married?" she replied. "I havealways hated a big, ostentatious wedding."
"I should loathe it!" he said strongly. "And what about Australia?"
"Anywhere with you--even if it is to the South Pole!"
Dalton kissed her to express his delight in her thoroughness. "How gladI shall be when I have you all to myself!--I shall spend every day of mylife in proving to you how much I value your love, and you shall givethis poor devil a chance to take up his life again. Honey!--sometimes Iam sleepless with fears. It seems to me too good to be true. I amovercome with dread lest I should never carry it through! Something willbe sure to happen to stop it. If so, I am done for! It will be the endof me!" He looked as if haunted with forebodings of evil.
Honor enfolded him in her embrace. Her tender arms clung about his neckand she kissed him tenderly in her desire to bring him comfort. "Whyshould anything happen to interfere? God knows how much we care, and Hewill be merciful." She fancied he alluded to sudden death.
"Ah! yes. Your God to whom you pray for safety every night of your life,may see fit to save you from such as I. I'm not good enough to take you,Honey; that's straight."
"You shall not say that," she protested laying her soft palm across hismouth. "Who is good in this world? Not I, by any means! So we are a pairin need of protection, and are both determined to begin a new lifetogether in gratitude for the Divine Countenance."
Dalton suppressed a sound that was almost a sob while he defiantlyblin
ked away a tear. "Sweet little Puritan!--" He covered her hand withkisses. "But it will be a terrible day for me when that martinet of aconscience sits in judgment on my sins. It makes me wish with all myheart that I may be dead before then! I'd risk damnation to----"
"Oh, hush!----"
"To have you mine, anyway. Does that shock you? It's the truth," andHonor was pained and greatly puzzled.
But he was not often in such a strange frame of mind. There were timeswhen he was a different man, almost boyish in his merriment, and full ofa determined optimism. He would build castles in the air for them bothto live in, and make her laugh just for the sake of admiring herbeautiful teeth.
It was early in March when Honor, having lost much of her reserve,discussed Jack's affair with Dalton and deplored his inevitable ruin."Tommy says he'll be done for in every way if he marries her, but hewill do so in spite of everything."
"More fool he."
"He's been very weak and very wicked," sighed Honor; "but _she_ beganit. We watched it start, and Jack walk, as it were, blindfold into atrap. It seems terrible that she should escape and he receive all thepunishment!"
"Generally, it is the other way about!"
"Jack's punishment will be life-long. He will never be a happy man.Already, he is almost ill for thinking of it. His people are so proudand would never receive Mrs. Fox. Can't anything be done? You don'tthink he is obliged to marry her?"
"Not Mrs. Fox. Circumstances alter cases. She had her eyes wide open andplayed her cards for this. It would serve a woman like that jolly wellright if young Darling gave her the slip. Tell Tommy to prevail on himto see me. What he wants is a medical certificate and leave home for sixmonths. I'm very much mistaken if that doesn't change the complexion ofthings considerably."
"But he has no real illness!"
"I dare say I'll find him really ill when I overhaul him. He looks onthe verge of a break-down. I have never seen a lad go off as he has donethe past few months."
"That is because, at heart, Jack is not really a bad fellow. It is justthat he is deplorably weak; and remorse for having yielded totemptation, is tormenting his soul. In proper hands he would shape quitewell."
Dalton was as good as his word, for, when Jack visited him for a medicalopinion on his run-down health, he was ready with the certificate whichwas to obtain six months' leave for him in Europe.
And while the young man waited on tenterhooks for sanction to leaveIndia, and the routine of station-life continued as usual, the doctorawoke to the fact of his own increasing unpopularity with the natives ofPanipara. Joyce Meredith had once tried to warn him, at which he hadbeen considerably amused. After that, the arrival on the scene of asurveyor and the taking in hand of preliminary measures, showed that theGovernment were seriously considering the drainage scheme; hencepersonal hostilities against the author of it became active, and thegravity of his position was forced upon him.
The villagers scowled whenever he passed and repassed in his journeysabout the District, and offered him open insolence in lonely places;while, on one occasion, a large mob had gathered to waylay the car, buthad melted away at sight of Honor beside him. They had recognised thedaughter of the senior police official, and were afraid,--or had caughtsight of shot guns in the car; whereupon, discretion had prevailed.
Recognising symptoms as dangerous, Dalton refrained from taking Honormotoring with him, and had given up their joint expeditions to the_jhil_, at which Mrs. Bright was well pleased. Captain Dalton had,apparently, not proposed to Honor, and it was high time that he ceasedmaking her conspicuous by his attentions. She had expected something tocome of them but, so far, the only result was gossip and chaff on thepart of ladies when they met at the Club, which was excessivelyannoying.
Didn't Honor see that matters were going a bit too far? Was it prudentfor a young girl to get herself talked about--especially with a youngman who had already caused plenty of gossip in the Station? Honorallowed that she had, perhaps, been a little unwise not to haveconsidered the opinion of the neighbours, but her dear mother need notmake herself anxious, as she and Captain Dalton understood each otherperfectly.
That being the case, Mrs. Bright was consoled; for what is an"understanding" between a man and a maid, if not an unofficialengagement? Like most mothers, Mrs. Bright was anxious, at heart, to seeher daughter happily settled in life; and the doctor, though not awealthy man or popular, was, at least, a rising one in his profession,and considered a good match.
Honor, however, paid little attention to gossip and chaff, her mindbeing filled with anxiety and growing alarm for her lover's safety. Shehad quickly divined the increasing antagonism of the Panipara villagerstowards him; and knowing his recklessness lived in continual dread.
"I shall not know a moment's peace while this sort of thing goes on,"she fretted. "Can't you get a transfer till we are married?"
"And leave my little love?" It was unthinkable.
"It would make no difference in our feelings for each other."
"I couldn't do it, apart from the fact that it would look like runningaway. You little know what it means to me to see you every day."
Latterly he had spent most of his evenings at the Blights', who tookcompassion on his loneliness and were complaisant of his obviousattachment to Honor. Mrs. Bright, in her tactful way, gave him manyopportunities of having Honor to himself in the drawing-room while shebetook herself to her husband's own particular sanctum to indulge inconfidential chat. "It is plain to see that he worships our Honey, andit is best they should meet here, since meet they must, in her ownhome," she would explain. "I dare say we shall be hearing something oneof these days."
"He improves on acquaintance, and certainly has a devilish fine voice. Icould listen to him all night," said her husband, nevertheless, obeyingthe hint and remaining a voluntary exile in his study.
Considering that his opportunities for snatching whatever of happinesshe could out of his life in the present lay in Muktiarbad, it was notlikely that Dalton was inclined to seek a transfer and thus run awayfrom bodily danger;--not even when a parcel containing a bomb was placedon his writing-table, which, owing to some technical defect, failed togo off when it was opened. The incident gave Tommy and his subordinatessome work to do, trying to trace the culprit who had placed it there,but the matter was treated with unconcern by the doctor himself.