CHAP. XXI.
It was after she had persuaded him to take a little soup, which he didwith some show of appetite, that Esora began to think she might savehim: if his strength does not die away, she said. But will it? Josephinquired. Not if he continues to take food, she replied; and two hourslater she returned to the bedside to feed him again, and for a fewseconds he was roused from his lethargy; but it was not till the seventhday that his eyes seemed to ask: who art thou, and who am I? And howcame I hither? Thou'rt Jesus of Nazareth, and I am Joseph of Arimathea,whom thou knewest in Galilee, and it was I that brought thee hither, butmore than that I dare not tell lest too much story should fatigue thybrain. I do not remember coming here. Where am I? Is this a holy place?Was a prophet ever taken away to heaven from here? Afraid to perplex thesick man, Joseph answered that he never heard that anything of the sorthad happened lately. But thou canst tell me, Jesus continued, whythou'rt here? Thou'rt the rich man's son. Ah, yes, and my sorrow forsome wrong done to thee brought thee hither. His eyelids fell over hiseyes, and a few minutes afterwards he opened them, and after looking atJoseph repeated: my sorrow brought thee here; and still in doubt as towhat answer he should make, Joseph asked him if he were glad he was byhim. Very glad, he said, and strove to take Joseph's hand. But my handpains me, and the other hand likewise; my feet too; my forehead; myback; I am all pain. Thou must have patience, Esora broke in, and thepain will pass away. Who is that woman? A leper, or one suffering from aflux of blood? Tell her I cannot impose my hands and cast out the wickeddemon that afflicts her. He mustn't be allowed to talk, Esora said; hemust rest. And on these words he seemed to sink into a lethargy. Has hefallen asleep again? It is sleep or lethargy, she answered, and theywent to the door of the cottage, and, leaning against the lintels, stoodbalancing the chances of the sick man's recovery.
We can do no more, she said, than we are doing. We must put our trust inmy balsam and give him food as often as he'll take it from us. Whichthey did day after day, relieving each other's watches, and standingover Jesus' bed conferring together, wondering if he cared to live orwould prefer that they suffered him to die....
For many days he lay like a piece of wreckage, and it was not till theseventh day that he seemed to rouse a little out of his lethargy, or hisindifference--they knew not which it was. In answer to Esora he said hefelt easier, and would be glad if they would wheel his bed nearer to thedoor. Outside is the garden, he whispered, for I see boughs waving, andcan hear the bees. Wilt thou let me go into the garden? As soon as I'veremoved the dressing thou shalt have a look into the garden, Esorareplied, and she called upon Joseph to pull Jesus forward. All this, shesaid, was raw flesh a week ago, and now the scab is coming away nicely;you see the new skin my balsam is bringing up. His feet, too, arehealing, Joseph observed, and look as if he will be able to stand uponthem in another few days. Wounds do not heal as quickly as that, Master.Thou must have patience. But he'll be wanting a pair of crutches verysoon. We might send to Jerusalem for a pair. There is no need to send toJerusalem, he answered. I think I'd like to make him a pair. Anybody canmake a pair of crutches, however poor a carpenter he may be; and everyevening as soon as his watch was over he repaired to the wood-shed. Theywon't be much to look at, Esora reflected, but that won't matter, if hegets them the right length, and strong.
Come and see them, he said to her one evening, and when she had admiredhis handiwork sufficiently he said: tell me, Esora, is a man's mind thesame after scourging and crucifixion as it was before? Esora shook herhead. I suppose not, Joseph continued, for our minds draw their livesfrom our bodies. He'll be a different man if he comes up from hissickness. But he may live to be as old as I am, or the patriarchs, shereturned. With a different mind, he added. So I've lost him in life whomI saved from death.
Esora did not ask any questions, and fearing that her master might tellher things he might afterwards regret having said, she remarked thatJesus would be needing the crutches in about another week.
And it was in or about that time, not finding Jesus in the cottage, theycame down the pathway in great alarm, to be brought to a sudden stop bythe sight of Jesus sitting under the cedars. How did he get there? Esoracried, for the crutches were in the wood-shed. They were, Esora, but Itook them down to the cottage last night, and seeing them, and findingthey fitted him, he has hobbled to the terrace. But he mustn't hobbleabout where he pleases, Esora said. He is a sick man and in our charge,and if he doesn't obey us he may fall back again into sickness. Thebones have not properly set---- We don't know that any bones werebroken, do we, Esora? We don't; for the nails may have pierced the feetand hands without breaking any. But, Master, look! Didst ever see suchimprudence? Go! drive away my cat, or else my work will be undone.
Her cat, large, strong and supple as a tiger, had advanced from theopposite wood, and, unmindful of a bitch and her puppies, seated himselfin the middle of the terrace. As he sat tidying his coat the puppiesconceived the foolish idea of a gambol with him. The cat continued tolick himself, though no doubt fully aware of the puppies' intention, andit was not till they were almost on him that he rose, hackle erect, tomeet the onset in which they would have been torn badly if Jesus had nothopped hastily forward and menaced him with his crutches. Even then thepuppies, unmindful of the danger, continued to dance round the cat. Youlittle fools, he will have your eyes, Jesus cried, and he caught them upin his arms, but unable to manage them and his crutches together, hedropped the crutches and started to get back to his seat without them.
It was this last imprudence that compelled Esora to cry out to Josephthat her work would be undone if Joseph did not run at once to Jesus andgive him his crutches: now, Master, I hope ye told him he must leavecats and dogs alone, she said as soon as Joseph returned to her. If hedoesn't we shall have him on our hands all the winter. All the winter!Joseph repeated. It is for thee to say, Master, how long he is to stayhere; three weeks, till he is fit to travel, or all the winter, it isfor you to say. Fit to travel, Joseph repeated. Why should he leave whenhe is fit to travel? he asked. Only, Master, because it will be hard tokeep him in hiding much longer. Secrets take a long time to leak out,but they leak out in the end. But I may be wrong, Master, in thinkingthat there is a secret. I hardly know anything about this man, only thatthou broughtest him back one night. So thou'rt not certain then thatthere is a secret, Esora? Joseph said. I won't say that, Master, for Ican see by his back that he has been scourged, and cruelly, sheanswered. His hands and feet testify that he has been on the cross.Therefore, Joseph interposed, thou judgest him to be a malefactor ofsome sort. Master, I would judge no one. He is what thou choosest totell me he is. Come then, Esora, Joseph replied, and I will tell theehis story and mine, for our stories have been strangely interwoven. Butthe telling will take some time. Come, let us sit in the shade of theacacia-trees yonder; there is a seat there, and we shall be in view ofour sick man, ready to attend upon him should he require our attention.
She sat listening, immovable, like a figure of stone, her hands hangingover her knees. And when he told how Jesus opened his eyes in the tomb,and how he carried him through the rocks, seeking perhaps to astonishher a little by his account of the darkness, and the wild beasts, hesaid: now tell me, Esora, if I could have done else but bring him hereon my shoulders. True it is that Pilate believed he was giving me not alive but a dead body; but Pilate wouldn't expect me to go to him withthe tidings that Jesus was not dead, and that he might have him back tohoist on to a cross again. Pilate did not want to give him up forcrucifixion. He found no fault with him. Dost understand, Esora? Iunderstand very well, Master, that Pilate would think thee but a falsefriend if you had acted differently. He would not have thanked thee ifthou hadst brought back this man to him. But, Esora, thy face wears apuzzled look. One thing puzzles me, she answered, for I cannot thinkwhat could have put it into his head that he was sent into the world tosuffer for others. For are we not all suffering for others?
The simplicity of her question took Joseph aback, and he replie
d: Isuppose thou'rt right in a way, Esora. Thou hast no doubt suffered forthy parents; I have suffered for my father. I left Galilee to keep mypromise not to see Jesus; when I heard he was going to ride intoJerusalem in triumph on an ass from Bethany I ran away to Jericho. Coulda man do more to keep his promise? But it was of no avail, for we maynot change in our little lives the fate we were branded with a thousandyears before we were born.
Thou'rt of one mind with me, Esora, that I couldn't have left him to diein the sepulchre? Thou couldst not have done such a thing and remainedthyself; and it was God that gave you those fine broad shoulders for theburden. I saw thee a baby, and thou hast grown into a fine image likethose they've put up to Caesar in Tiberias; and then, as if abashed byher familiarity, she began: Master, I wouldn't wish him to return toJerusalem, for they would put him on the cross again, but he had betterleave Judea. Art thou weary, Esora, of attendance on him? Joseph asked,and the servant answered: have I ever shown, Master, that I foundattendance on him wearisome? He is so gentle and patient that it is apleasure to attend on him, and an honour, for one feels him to be agreat man. The highest I have met among men, Joseph interposed, and Ihave searched diligently, wishing always to worship the best on earth.He is that, and maybe there's no better in heaven; after God comesJesus.
It wouldn't be a woman then that thou wouldst choose to meet in heaven,but a man? Men love women, Joseph said, for their corruptible bodies,and women love men for theirs; but even the lecher would choose ratherto meet a man in heaven, and the wanton another woman. If we woulddiscover whom we love most, we can do so by asking ourselves whom wewould choose to meet in heaven. Heaven without Jesus would not be heavenfor me. But if he be not the Messiah after all? Esora asked. Should Ilove him less? he answered her. None is as perfect as he. I have knownhim long, Esora, and can say truly that none is worthy to be the carpetunder his feet.
I have never spoken like this before, but I am glad to have spoken, fornow thou understandest how much thou hast done for me. Thou and thybalsam and thy ministration. My balsam, she answered, has done betterthan I expected it would do. Thou sawest his back this morning. One cancall it cured. His hands and feet have mended and his strength isreturning. In a few days he will be fit to travel. This is the thirdtime, Esora, that thou hast said he'll be able to travel soon--yet thousayest he is so patient and gentle that it is a pleasure to attend onhim; and an honour. But, Master, the danger is great, and every dayaugments the danger. Secrets, as I've said, take a long time to leakout, but they leak out in time. Her words are wise, he thought tohimself, and he overlooked her, guessing her to have shrunken to lessthan her original size; she seemed but a handful of bones and yellowskin, but when she looked up in his face her eyes were alive, and fromunder a small bony forehead they pleaded, and with quavering voice shesaid: let him go, dear Master, for if the Pharisees seek him here andfind him, he will hang again on the cross. Thou wouldst have me tellhim, Esora, that rumours are about that he did not die on the cross andthat a search may be made for him. I wouldn't have thee speak to him ofPilate or his crucifixion, Master, for we don't know that he'd care tolook back upon his troubles; he might prefer to forget them as far as heis able to forget them. But thou canst speak to him of his health,Master, which increases every day, and of the benefit a change would beto him. Speak to him if thou wouldst of a sea voyage, but speak not ofanything directly for fear of perplexing him. Lead rather than direct,for his mind must be a sort of maze at present. A great deal hasbefallen, and nothing exactly as he expected. Nor would I have theespeak to him of anything but actual things; speak of what is before hiseyes as much as possible; not a word about yesterday or of to-morrow,only so far as his departure is concerned. Keep his thoughts on actualthings, Master: on his health, for he feels that, and on the dogs abouthis feet, for he sees them; he takes an interest in them; let him speakto thee of them, which will be better still, and in your talk about dogsmany things will happen. The hills about Caesarea may be mentioned; seethat they are mentioned; ask him if they are like the hills aboveJericho. I cannot tell thee more, Master, but will pray that thou mayestspeak the right words.
A shrewd old thing, Joseph thought, as he went towards Jesus, lookingback once to see Esora disappearing into the wood. She'd have me keephis thoughts on actual things, he continued, and seeing that Jesus hadcalled the puppies to him and was making himself their playmate, heasked him if he were fond of dogs; whereupon Jesus began to praise thebitch, saying she was of better breeding than her puppies, and that whenshe came on heat again she should be sent to a pure Thracian likeherself. Joseph asked, not because he was interested in dog-breeding,but to make talk, if the puppies were mongrels. Mongrels, Jesusrepeated, overlooking them; not altogether mongrels, three-quarter bred;the dog that begot them was a mongrel, half Syrian, half Thracian. I'veseen worse dogs highly prized. Send the bitch to a dog of pure Thracianstock and thou'lt get some puppies that will be the sort that I used toseek.
Joseph waited, for he expected Jesus to speak of the Essenes and of thetime when he was their shepherd; but Jesus' thoughts seemed to havewandered from dogs, and to bring them back to dogs again Josephinterposed: thou wast then a shepherd? But Jesus did not seem to hearhim, and as he was about to repeat his question he remembered that Esoratold him to keep to the present time. We do not know, she said, that heremembers, and if he has forgotten the effort to remember will fatiguehim, or it may be, she had added, that he wishes to keep his troublesout of mind. A shrewd old thing, Joseph said to himself, and he sat byJesus considering how he might introduce the subject he had come tospeak to Jesus about, the necessity of his departure from Judea. But asno natural or appropriate remark came into his mind to make, he sat likeone perplexed and frightened, not knowing how the silence that hadfallen would be broken. It is easy, he thought, for Esora to say, speakonly of present things, but it is hard to keep on speaking of things toa man whose thoughts are always at ramble. But if I speak to him of hishealth an occasion must occur to remind him that a change is desirableafter a long or a severe illness. It may have been that Joseph did notset forth the subject adroitly; he made mention, however, of amarvellous recovery, and as Jesus did not answer him he continued: Esorathought that thou wouldst be able to get as far as the terrace inanother week, but thou'rt on the terrace to-day. Still Jesus did notanswer him, and feeling that nothing venture nothing win, he struckboldly out into a sentence that change of air is the best medicine aftersickness. Jesus remaining still unresponsive, he added: sea air isbetter than mountain air, and none as beneficial as the air that blowsabout Caesarea.
The word Caesarea brought a change of expression into Jesus' face, andJoseph, interpreting it to mean that Jesus was prejudiced against thosecoasts, hastened to say that a sick man is often the best judge of theair he needs. But, Joseph, I have none but thee, Jesus said; and the twomen sat looking into each other's eyes, Joseph thinking that if Jesuswere to recover his mind he would be outcast, as no man had ever beenbefore in the world: without a country, without kindred, without abelief wherewith to cover himself; for nothing, Joseph said to himselfas he sat looking into Jesus' eyes, has happened as he thought it would;and no man finds new thoughts and dreams whereby he may live. I did notforesee this double nakedness, or else might have left him to die on thecross. Will he, can he, forgive me? A moment afterwards he recoveredhope, for Jesus did not seem to know that the hills beyond the terracewere the Judean hills, and then, as if forgetting the matter in hand(his projected residence in Caesarea), he began to speak of Bethlehem,saying he could not think of Bethlehem without thinking of Nazareth, aremark that was obscure to Joseph, who did not know Nazareth. It was tomake some answer--for Jesus seemed to be waiting for him to answer--thatJoseph said: Nazareth is far from Caesarea, a remark that he soonperceived to be unfortunate, for it awakened doubts in Jesus that he wasno longer welcome in Joseph's house. Why speakest thou of Caesarea to me?he said. Is it because thou wouldst rid thyself of me? Whereupon Josephbesought Jesus to lay aside the thought that he, Josep
h, wished himaway. I would have thee with me always, deeming it a great honour; butEsora has charge of thy health and has asked me to say that a change isneeded.
My health, Jesus interrupted. Am I not getting my strength quickly? donot send me away, Joseph, for I am weak in body and in mind; let me staywith thee a little longer; a few days; a few weeks. If I go to Caesarea Imust learn Greek, for that is the language spoken there, and thou'ltteach me Greek, Joseph. Send me not away. But there is no thought ofsending thee away, Joseph answered; my house is thy house for as long asthou carest to remain, and the words were spoken with such an accent oftruth that Jesus answered them with a look that went straight toJoseph's heart; but while he rejoiced Jesus' mind seemed to float away:he was absent from himself again, and Joseph had begun to think that allthat could be said that day had been said on the subject of hisdeparture from Judea, when a little memory began to be stirring inJesus, as Esora would say, like a wind in a field.
I remember thee, Joseph, as one to whom I did a great wrong, but whatthat wrong was I have forgotten. Do not try to recall it, Joseph said tohim, no wrong was done, Jesus. Thou'rt the rich man's son, he said, andwhat I remember concerning thee is thy horse, for he was handsomer thanany other. His name was Xerxes. Dost still ride him? Is he in thestables of yon house? He was sold, Joseph answered, to pay for ourjourney in Syria, and some of the price went to pay for thy cloak. Thecloak on my shoulders? Jesus asked. The cloak on thy shoulders is one ofmy cloaks. Thou earnest here naked. I was carried here by an angel,Jesus replied, for I felt the feathers of his wings brush across myface. But why that strange look, Joseph?--those curious, inquisitiveeyes? It was an angel that carried me hither. No, Jesus, it was I thatcarried thee out of the sepulchre up the crooked path. What is thypurpose in saying that it was no angel but thou? Jesus asked; andJoseph, remembering that he must not say anything that would vex Jesus,regretted having contradicted him and tried to think how he might mendhis mistake with words that would soothe Jesus; but, as it often is onsuch occasions, the more we seek for the right words the further we seemto be from them, and Joseph did not know how he might plausibly unsayhis story that he had carried him without vexing Jesus still further: heis sure an angel carried him, Joseph said: he felt the feathers of thewings brush across his face, and he is now asking himself why I lied tohim.
As Joseph was thinking that it might be well to say that Bethlehem waslike Nazareth, he caught sight of Jesus' face as pale as ashes, morelike a dead face than a living, and fearing that he was about to swoonagain or die, Joseph called loudly for Esora, who came running down thepathway.
Thou mustn't call for me so loudly, Master. If Matred had heard thee andcome running---- But, Esora, look. As likely as not it is no more than alittle faintness, she said. He has been overdoing it: running afterpuppies, and talking with thee about Caesarea. But it was thyself told meto ask him to go to Caesarea for change of air. Never mind, Master, whatI told thee. We must think now how we shall get him back to bed. Do thoutake one arm and I'll take the other.