CHAP. XXV.
It was as Hazael had guessed: the puppies had scampered up the loosepathway leading to the hills; Jesus had let them through the door, andhad followed them up the hills, saying to himself: they have got thescent of sheep.
The stubborn, unruly ground lay before him just as he remembered it,falling into hollows but rising upwards always, with still a littlegrass between the stones, but not enough to feed a flock, he remarked,as he wandered on, watching the sunrise unfolding, and thinking thatAmos should be down by the Jordan, and would be there, he said tohimself, no doubt, were it not for the wild beasts that have their lairsin the thickets. Whosoever redeems the shepherd from the danger oflions, he added, as he climbed up the last ascents, will be the greatbenefactor. But the wolves perhaps kill more sheep than lions, beingmore numerous. It was at this moment that Brother Amos came into sight,and he walked so deep in meditation that he might have passed Jesuswithout seeing him if Jesus had not called aloud.
Why, Jesus, it is thou, as I'm alive, come back to us at last. Well,we've been expecting thee this long while. And thou hast not come backtoo soon, as my poor flock testifies. I'm ashamed of them; but thou'ltnot speak too harshly of my flock to Hazael, who thinks if he complainsenough he'll work me up into a good shepherd despite my natural turn foran indoor life. But I'd not have thee think that the flock perishedthrough my fault, and see in them a lazy shepherd lying always at lengthon the hillside. I walk with them in search of pasture from daylighttill dark, wearing my feet away, but to no purpose, as any man can seethough he never laid eyes on a sheep before. But it was thou, Brother,that recommended me for a shepherd, and I can think of naught but mylove of wandering with thee on the hills, and listening to thee pratingof rams and ewes, that put it into my head that I was a shepherd bynature and thy successor.
Thou wast brought up to the flock from thy boyhood, and a ram's head hasmore interest for thee than a verse of Scripture; thy steady, easy gaitwas always the finest known on these hills for leading a flock; but myfeet pain me after a dozen miles, and a shepherd with corny feet is likea bird with a torn wing. Thou understandest the hardship of a shepherd,and that one isn't a shepherd for willing it; and I rely on thee,Brother, to take my part and to speak up for me when Hazael putsquestions to thee. So thou wouldst be freed from the care of the flock?Jesus said. My only wish, he answered. But thou'lt make it clear toHazael that it was for lack of a good ram the flock fell away. I gavethee over a young ram with the flock, one of the finest on these hills,Jesus said. Thou didst; and he seemed like coming into such a finebeast, Amos answered, that we hadn't the heart to turn him among theewes the first year but bred from the old fellow. An old ram is a waste,Jesus replied, and he would have said more if Amos had not begun torelate the death of the fine young beast that Jesus had bred for thecontinuance of the flock. We owe the loss of him, he said, to a ewe thatno shepherd would look twice at, one of the ugliest in the flock, sheseemed to me to be and to everybody that laid his eyes on her, and sheought to have been put out of the flock, but though uninviting to oureyes she was longed for by another ram, and so ardently that he couldnot abide his own ewes and became as a wild sheep on the hills, alwayson the prowl about my flock, seeking his favourite, and she casting herhead back at him nothing loath.
It would have been better if I had turned the evil ewe out of the flock,making him a present of her, but I kept on foiling him; and my own ram,taking rage against this wild one, challenged him, and one day, seeingme asleep on the hillside, the wild ram came down and with a great bleatsummoned mine to battle. It seemed to me that heaven was rainingthunderbolts, so loud was the noise of their charging; and looking outof my dreams I saw the two rams backing away from each other, makingready for another onset. My ram's skull was the softer, he being ayoungling, it had been already shaken in several charges, and it wasbroken in this last one, a terrible one it was, I can still hear them,they are still at it in my mind--the ewes of both flocks gathered ondifferent sides, spectators.
But where were thy dogs all this while? Jesus inquired. My dogs! If I'dhad a Thracian he never would have suffered that the sheep killed eachother. A Thracian would have awakened me. My dogs are of the soft Syrianbreed given to growling and no more. The wild ram might have become tameagain, and would doubtless have stayed with me as long as I had the ewe;but he might have refused to serve any but she. No man can say how itwould have ended if I had not killed him in my anger. So thou wast left,Jesus remarked, without a serviceable ram. With naught, Amos sighed, butthe old one, and he was that weary of jumping that he began to thinkmore of his fodder than ewes. Without money one can't get a well-bredram, as I often said to Hazael, but he answered me always that he had nomoney to give me, and that I must do as well as I could with the ram Ihad.... He is gone now, but before he died he ruined my flock.
It is true that the shepherd's labour is wasted without a good ram,Jesus repeated. Thou speakest but the truth, Amos replied; and knowingthe truth, forget not to speak well of me to Hazael, as a shepherd,finding reason that will satisfy him for the dwindling of the flock thathenceforth will be in thy charge. Jesus said that he was willing toresume his charge, but did not know if Hazael and the brethren wouldreceive him back into the order after his long absence. Amos seemed tothink that of that there could be no doubt. All will be glad to havethee back ... thou'rt too useful for them to slight thee, he cried back,and Jesus returned to the cenoby dreaming of some grand strain thatwould restore the supremacy of the flock.
As he passed down the gallery Hazael, who was sitting on the balcony,cried to him; Joseph, he said, waited an hour and has gone; he hadbusiness to transact in Jericho. But, Jesus, what ails thee? It seemsstrange, Jesus answered, he should have gone away like this. But have Inot told thee, Jesus, that he will return this evening to wish theegood-bye. But he may not be able to return this evening, Jesus replied.That is so, Hazael rejoined. He said that he might have to return toJerusalem at once, but he will not fail to ride out to meet thee in afew days. But he will not find me on the hills, no tryst has been made,Jesus said, as he turned away; and guessing his intention to be to leaveat once for Jericho, Hazael spoke of Joseph's business in Jericho, andhow displeased he might be to meet Jesus in the middle of his businessand amongst strangers. The Essenes are not well looked upon inJerusalem, he said. We do not send fat rams to the Temple. Fat rams,Jesus repeated. Amos has been telling me that what lacks is a ram, andthe community had not enough money to buy one. That is true, Hazaelsaid. Rams are hard to get even for a great deal of money. Joseph mightlend us the money, he is rich. He will do that, Jesus answered, and beglad to do it. But a ram must be found, and if thou'lt give me all themoney thou hast I will go in search of one. Joseph will remit to theethe money I have taken from thee when he returns. It will be a surprisefor him to find in the flock a great fine ram of the breed that Iremember to have seen on the western hills. I'll start at daybreak. Thoushalt have our shekels, Hazael said; they are few, but the Lord be withthee and his luck.