CHAP. XXVII.
Jesus fell back into sleep as soon as the lamb was fed, and it was inthis second sleep of more than six hours that he regained his naturalstrength. Has Joseph returned? he asked on awakening, and the brothernearest him answered that he had not; whereupon Jesus asked that Hazaelshould come to him, and he said to him: Hazael, Joseph told thee that assoon as his business was transacted in Jericho he would return hither,and if that were not possible the delay would not be long. But four dayshave passed and we haven't seen him nor have we news of him. Now how isthis? He couldn't have heard in Jericho nor in Jerusalem of my faringamong the hills of Caesarea in search of a lamb. It was only on thosehills that I might find a lamb that would recover for us the strengththat has gone out of the flock. And I would that Joseph were here to seehim that I've brought back. My heart misgives me. Thou'lt feed him in myabsence, he said to one of the brethren, and I'll go down on to theterraces and wander across the bridge, for on the hills over yonder Imay catch sight of Joseph coming to meet me. Can none tell me if he willcome from Jericho or Jerusalem? A brother cried that he would feed thelamb as Jesus directed, and the brethren at work among the fig-treesspoke to each other of the grief visible on Jesus' face as he passedthem and questioned each other and sought a reason for it. Has the lambfallen sick? one asked, and on that thought they ran up the terraces toinquire for the lamb, who, that day, had been given the name of Caesar.The lamb sleeps in peace, Hazael answered, but Jesus, his saviour, hasgone out in great disorder of mind to get tidings of Joseph, the greattrader in figs and dates. He promised to return the same evening aftertransacting his business in Jericho, Hazael continued. Four days havepassed away without news of him; some misfortune may have befallen him.May have! Hazael repeated under his breath as he walked away. _Has_befallen him without doubt.
The brethren waited for Jesus to return, but he did not return to them;and at nightfall a watch was set at the bridge head, and the same wasdone for many succeeding days, till the story reached the Brook Keriththat Joseph had been killed in the streets of Jerusalem by order of theZealots. Priests never forget to revenge themselves on those that do notsubmit to their ideas and exactions, Hazael muttered, thereby stirringthe curiosity of the brethren; but he could not tell them more, Joseph'srelation having been insufficient to make plain the truth that Joseph,as Jesus' friend, must have earned the High Priest's displeasure. A verylittle suspicion, he said to himself, is enough to bring about the deathof a man in our days; and the priests were always jealous and afraid ofprophets. Is then our Jesus a prophet? Saddoc asked, and Manahem's eyeswere full of questions. I can tell ye no more than I've said already,Hazael answered, and the brethren forgot their curiosity, for theirhearts were stirred with pity. A great grief it surely will be, theysaid to one another, when Jesus returns and hears that his friend isdead, and they asked which among them should be the one to tell him ofthis great loss that had befallen him. Not I, said one, nor I, anotheranswered, and as they passed into their cells it was the opinion of allthat Hazael should tell him.
Next morning when they came forth from their cells, after giving thanksfor the returning light, they stood on the hillside, hoping that everyminute would bring them sight of Jesus returning. At last a shepherdcame through the dusk, but it was not Jesus but Amos coming towardsthem, and the news he brought was that he had met Jesus on the hillswandering like one of disordered mind. He has taken my sheep from me andhas lost them, I fear. But why, the brethren cried, didst thou leave thysheep to him? To which Amos could make no straightforward answer: all heknew was that he had met Jesus and been greatly frightened by his speechand his show of gestures and demeanour. All the same, he said, I felt Ihad better let him have the sheep. And the brethren said: ruin hasbefallen us this time. We know the reason of the disordered mind thatthou tellest of. Joseph was slain by the Zealots in Jerusalem by orderof the priests, and the tidings must have come to Jesus as he wanderedout on to the hills seeking his friend, and it was they that robbed himof his mind. We are ruined, the brethren cried, for our sheep are withhim, and he without thought for anything but his grief. Amos could notanswer them nay, for their words seemed to him but the truth, and theyall returned to the cenoby to mourn for Jesus and themselves till Jesuswas brought back to them by some shepherds who found him wandering,giving no heed to the few sheep that followed him; only a few hadescaped the wolves, and the brethren charged Amos with the remnant,muttering among themselves: his heart is broken. He is without knowledgeof us or the world around him. But why does he turn aside from ourdwelling preferring to lie with his dogs under the rocks? It is for thatour dwelling reminds him of Joseph. It was here he saw him last, Manahemreplied. It will be well to leave him to wander at will, giving him foodif his grief allows him to come for it; any restraint would estrange himfrom us, nor may we watch him, for when the mind is away man is butanimal; and animals do not like watchful eyes. We may only watch overhim lest he do himself bodily harm, Eleazar said, There is no harm,Manahem said, he can do himself, but to walk over the cliffs in a dreamand so end his misery. We would not that the crows and vultures fed onJesus, Caleb answered. We must watch lest he fall into the dream of hisgrief.... But he lives in one. Behold him now. He sees not the cliffsover yonder nor the cliffs beneath. Nor does he hear the brook murmurunder the cliffs. Grief is a wonderful thing, Manahem said, itoverpowers a man more than anything else; it is more powerful even thanthe love of God, but it wears away; and in this it is unlike the love ofGod, which doesn't change, and many of us have come here so that we maylove God the better without interruptions. It is strange, Eleazar said,that one who loves God as truly as Jesus, should abandon himself togrief. Eleazar's words caused the Essenes to drop into reveries anddreams, and when they spoke out of these their words were: his grief ismore like despair. And in speaking these words they were nearer thetruth than they suspected, for though Jesus grieved and truly forJoseph, there was in his heart something more than mortal grief.
It often seemed to him as he sat gazing across the abyss that histemerity in proclaiming himself the Messiah was punished enough bycrucifixion: the taking from him of the one thing that crucifixion hadleft behind often put the thought into his mind that God held himaccursed; and in his despair he lost faith in death, believing he wouldbe held accursed for all eternity. He forgot to take food and drink; hefed upon his grief and would have faded out of life if Caesar had notconceived a dislike to his keeper and run bleating among the rocks tillhe came upon Jesus whom he recognised at once and refused to leave,thrusting a nozzle into Jesus' hand and lying down by his side. Norcould the brethren beguile the lamb from Jesus with milk, and Jesustaking pity on the faithful animal said: give me the feeding bottle, Iwill feed him. Whereupon Caesar began to bleat, and so cheerfully, thatall conceived a new affection for him, but he had none for anybody butJesus, whom he followed about the cliffs as a dog might, lying down athis side.
The twain strayed together whither there was scarce foothold for either,and the brethren said as they watched them: if Caesar were to miss hisfooting and fall over the edge, the last link would be broken and Jesuswould go over after him. But sheep and goats never miss their footing, abrother answered. It is fortunate, another replied, that Caesar shouldhave attached himself to Jesus. He seems to say, I get happier andhappier every day, and his disposition will react on Jesus and may winhim out of his melancholy.
And it seemed as if the brother had guessed rightly, for though Jesus'face showed no interest in the brethren, nor in the cenoby, he seemed toenjoy the sympathy of the dumb animal. He liked to call to Caesar and tolay his hand upon Caesar's head, and to look into his eyes, and in thosemoments of sympathy the brethren said: he forgets his grief. But Caesaris coming into ramhood, Saddoc answered, and will have to go away withthe flock. There were brethren who cried out against this: let the flockperish rather than Jesus should be deprived of Caesar. Wouldst have himremain when he is a great ram? Manahem asked, and the others answered:yes, for Jesus takes no thought for anything but
Caesar, and thebrethren conferred together, and spent much thought in trying todiscover a remedy other than Caesar for Jesus' grief.
But one day Jesus said to the brethren: Caesar is coming into ramhood,and I must take him away to the hills, he must come with me and join theewes. Art thou going to be our shepherd again? said they. If ye willentrust the flock to me. My thoughts will never wander from it again.Jesus spoke the words significantly, and many of the brethren believedthat he would prove himself to be the great shepherd that he was ofyore, but others said: his grief will break out upon him on the hills;but these counsels were overruled by Manahem and Saddoc. Jesus, Saddocsaid, never smiles and his words are few, but he is himself again, andthe best shepherd that ever walked these hills is worse than he, so itis said. He lost a few sheep, Manahem said, in the first days of hisgreat grief, but his mind is altogether now on the encouragement of theflock and Amos is wearied of it and would return to the reading of theScriptures. Thou speakest well, Manahem, Saddoc returned, for it was inhis mind as it was in Manahem's that the sight of men and the sound ofmen's voices were a torture to Jesus, and that he longed for solitudeand silence and the occupation of the flock.
The cenoby will never be the same again without our pet, some of thebrethren cried, but others said: it must be so. We'll go to see Caesar'slambs, they cried, as he was being led away. There will be no lambs byCaesar this spring, Jesus answered. He'll run with the ewes and that'sabout all; for a ram is not fit for service till he is two years old.Whereupon the distraction of Jesus' grief being removed from thecenoby, the Essenes fell to talking again of the great schism and whatcame of it. Are our brothers happier in wedlock than we are in celibacy?was the question they often put to each other on the balcony; and asudden meeting of thoughts set them comparing the wives beyond Jordanwith the ewes of the hills. Which are the most fruitful? they askedthemselves; and it was averred that though twin lambs were of equalworth, it might fall out in the strange destinies that beset human lifethat one of human twins might be a robber and the other a devout Essene.
On a balcony overhanging an abyss some hundred feet in depth, throughwhich a brook sings a monotonous song, men may dream a long while on theproblem of destiny, and on awaking from their different meditations itwas natural that they should speak about the difficulties the brethrenby the lake would experience when they set themselves to discover womenwho would accept the rule of life of the Essenes and for no enjoymentfor themselves, but that the order might not perish, and with itholiness pass out of the world.
Of what women will they possess themselves? a brother often asked. NotJewish women, who would prefer to join themselves with Pharisees orSadducees rather than with Essenes, and the converts, the brothercontinued, that might be made among the Gentile women from Mesopotamiaand Arabia could not be counted upon to produce pious children, thoughthe fathers that begot the children might be themselves of great piety.These words put the thought into another brother's mind, that a womanis never faithful to one man, an abiding doctrine among the Essenes: andthe group of three, Caleb, Eleazar and Benjamin, began to speak of thestirs and quarrels that these converts would provoke in the cenoby. Foreven amongst those who have renounced women, there are always a few thatretain a longing for women in their heart, and the smouldering emberswill burst into flame at the sight of woman. Is not that so, Benjamin?There is much truth in thy words, Caleb, Benjamin answered, and I wouldknow if they partition off the women into an enclosure by themselves,and only take them out at a time judged to be the fruitfullest, for itis not lawful for us to experience pleasure, and as soon as the womenare with child, the brethren we have left behind, I trust, withdraw fromthe company of their wives. Unless, said Eleazar, all the rules of ourorder be abolished. We did well to leave them, Caleb answered. And then,posing his small fat hands on the parapet, he said: women have ever beenlooked upon as man's pleasure, and our pleasures are as wolves, and ourvirtues are as sheep, and as soon as pleasure breaks into the fold thesheep are torn and mangled. We're better here with our virtues than theyby the lake with their pleasures.
Trouble has begun amongst them already, Eleazar said, and Benjaminturned to ask him if he had gotten news of the brethren by the lake; andhe answered that yesterday a shepherd told him that many brothers hadleft the settlement. We did well, Caleb said, to cherish our celibacy,and the price of living on this rock was not too high a price for it.But tell us what thou hast heard, Eleazar. Eleazar had heard thattroubles were begun, but he hoped children would bring peace to all. Butall women aren't fruitful, Caleb said, and Benjamin was vexed withEleazar because he hadn't asked how many women were already quick. Andthey fell to talking scandal, putting forward reasons why some of thebrethren should separate themselves from their wives.
Perhaps we shall never know the why and the wherefore, Eleazar said, itbeing against our rules to absent ourselves without permission from thecenoby, and if we were to break this rule, Hazael might refuse toreceive us again. We should wander on the hills seeking grass and roots,for our oaths are that we take no food from strangers. Yet I'd give muchto hear how our brethren, for they are our brethren, fare with theirwives.
And when they met on the balcony, the elder members of the community,Hazael, Mathias, Saddoc and Manahem, like the younger members conferredtogether as to whether any good could come to those that had taken wivesto themselves for their pleasure. Not for their pleasure, Hazael said,but that holiness may not pass out of the world for ever. But asholiness, Mathias was moved to remark, is of the mind, it cannot beaffected by any custom we might impose upon our corporeal nature.Whereupon a disputation began in which Manahem urged upon Mathias thatif he had made himself plain it would seem that his belief was thatholiness was not dependent upon our acts; and if that be so, he asked,why do we live on this ledge of rock? To which question Mathiasanswered that the man whose mind is in order need not fear that he willfall into sin, for sin is but a disorder of the mind.
A debate followed regarding the relation of the mind to the body and ofthe body to the mind, and when all four were wearied of the olddiscussion, Saddoc said: is it right that we should concern ourselveswith these things, asking which of the brothers have taken wives, andhow they behave themselves to their wives? It seems to me that Saddoc isright, these matters don't concern us who have no wives and who neverwill have. But, said Manahem, though this question has been decided sofar as our bodies are concerned, are we not justified in consideringmarriage as philosophers may, no subject being alien to philosophy? Isnot that so, Mathias? No subject is alien to philosophy, Mathias agreed,to which Saddoc replied: we could discuss this matter with profit if weknew which of the brothers had taken to himself a wife; but only rumoursreach us here; and the brethren looked across the chasm, their thoughtscrossing it easily and passing over the intervening hills down into theplains and over Jordan. We should no doubt be content, said Manahem,with our own beliefs, and abide in the choice that we have made withoutquestioning it further, as Hazael has said. Yet it is hard to keepthoughts of the brethren we have left out of our minds. How are we,Hazael, to remain unmoved when rumours touching on the lives of those wehave left behind reach us? Is it not merely natural that we shoulddesire to hear how our brethren fare in married life? Dost think,Hazael, that those we left behind never ask each other how we fare inour celibacy? Man is the same all the world over inasmuch as he wouldlike to hear he has avoided the pitfall his brother has fallen into. Itis said, Manahem continued, that the elders yonder are disturbed now asto whether they too should take wives, though in the great disputationthat we took part in, it was decided that marriage should be left to theyounger and more fruitful. Wherefore, if it is said that trouble hascome, Hazael answered, we should be sorry for our weak brethren, and ifstories reach us, he continued, we should receive them with modesty: weshould not go out to seek stories of the misfortunes of those who havenot been as wise as we, and of all we should not wish to go down toJordan to inquire out the truth of these stories; Caleb and Benjamin askbetimes for leav
e to visit them. Eleazar, too, has asked; but I haverefused them always, knowing well whither their curiosity would leadthem. Lest, Mathias interposed, they bring back the spirit and sense ofwomen with them.
A flock of doves crossing over the chasm on quick wings put an end tothe discourse, and as no more stories reached them who dwelt in thecavern above the Brook Kerith regarding the behaviour of the wives totheir husbands and of the husbands towards their wives, the thoughts ofthe younger brethren reverted to Caesar, and to the admiration of theewes for his beauty. A year later, when Jesus came down from the hills,he was met with cries of: how fares it with Caesar? Does he tire on thehills? When will the ewes begin to drop their lambs? A buzz of talkbegan at once in the cenoby when the news arrived that Caesar's lambswere appearing, but the brethren could not conceal their disappointmentthat they should look like the lambs they had seen before. We expectedthe finest lambs ever seen on these hills, they said, and thou hast nomore word to say in praise of them than that they are good lambs. Jesusanswered that in two months he would be better able to judge Caesar'slambs, and to choose amongst them some two or three that would continuethe flock worthily. Which? the brethren asked, but Jesus said a choicewould be but guess-work at present, none could pick out the making of agood ram till past the second month. Caleb marked one which he was surewould be chosen later, and Benjamin another, and Eleazar another; butwhen the time came for Jesus to choose, it was none of these that hechose, and on hearing of their mistakes, the brethren were disappointed,and thought no more of the flock, asking only casually for Caesar, andforgetting to mourn his decease at the end of the fourth year; hissuccessor coming to them without romantic story, the brethren were fromhenceforth satisfied to hear from time to time that the hills were freefrom robbers; that the shepherds had banded together in great wolfhunts; and that freed from their natural enemies, the wolves androbbers, the flock had increased in numbers beyond the memory of theoldest shepherd on the hills.
CHAP. XXVIII.