Turning to Nox, then back to Rock, I stand and make my way over to him. Already waiting with open arms, I all but run into his hug. He holds me tight and rocks me from side to side. I whisper, “Thank you, honey. Thank you so much.”
He kisses my hair. “Anytime, babe. Love you.”
Kissing his cheek, I utter, “Love you, too. Tell Boo I miss her. And- and that it hurts me, too.”
Rock breathes deep. “He’s got a bag full of clothes by the door. I didn’t know how today was gonna go, so…”
He trails off, and I whisper, “This is one of the best days of my life.”
And he beams.
Releasing me, he walks over to Nox who struggles to stand. Rock helps him. They man hug, but it’s not awkward or short. They grip each other tightly for a few seconds before Rock releases him and says, “Don’t give her too much shit, man. If I hear you’re giving her trouble, I’ll take care of you myself.”
Nox laughs. “Yeah, you might have to come get me when she gets sick of my ass.”
And even though it sounds like a joke, I know it isn’t. It breaks my heart. Where did the confident, assured man I loved go?
My heart tells me he’s still stuck somewhere in the rubble of the safe house.
I think it might be right.
Walking Rock to the door, I wave him off before turning to my man.
He sits on the sofa looking uncertain and almost shy. Smiling softly, I tell him, “Right now, there’s no place I’d rather be than in bed with you.” His eyes flash. I ask, “Wanna get some sleep with me?”
Reaching for his cane, he takes his time standing. Walking over to him, I wrap my arm around his waist and hold him close. The hand holding the cane shakes slightly and it makes my heart hurt. We walk down the hall to my room, and I help him out of his jacket. When I move to undo the top button of his jeans, he pulls my hand away and almost barks. “No.”
And it shocks me. So much that I step back from him with a hand on my chest.
Lifting his head, he takes one look at me, and closes his eyes on a sigh. “Been back an hour and I’m already fucking things up.” Rubbing absently at his chest, he clears his throat and explains, “I don’t like people touching my leg. Or even seeing it. It affects me a lot. So much that I suffer anxiety.”
He looks ashamed and embarrassed. And my gut rolls from the sight of him.
My hand drops to my side, and I approach him cautiously. The vein in his temple throbs, and I know he’s likely freaking out. When we meet toe-to-toe, I lift my arms and wrap them around his waist, resting my cheek on his chest. I breathe him in.
Same smell. Same everything. Almost.
Memories flood back. Silently chuckling, I ask, “Remember when I got drunk?”
He barks out a startled laugh. “Yeah. I do.” He strokes my hair. “My little hussy.” And I burst into laughter.
Suddenly, the teetering wall of awkwardness is broken.
We hold each other, laughing, and I look up into his smiling eyes. My face falls, and I speak around my thick throat. “Thought you were dead.”
His smiling eyes turn troubled. “I know, baby. I’m so sorry I didn’t come earlier.”
Sniffling, I utter, “No. You did what you had to do, and I’m just grateful that I’ve got you back. I don’t care about anything else.” Reaching up, I cup his cheek, stroking his jaw with my thumb. “What I do know is that I never want to be without you ever again. So I’m doing something right now that I should’ve done when I had you.”
Stepping back from him, I kneel, and he chokes out a startled laugh. Smiling like an idiot, I ask, “Adam Christian Taylor, born March eighteenth, nineteen-eighty-four in White Deer, Texas. I love you, and I will spend the rest of my life showing you just how much if you agree to marry me. I want you for life. You were never a fling or something to pass time. You mean the world to me. And I would be honored if you would be my husband.”
Face void, Nox staggers back towards the bed, sitting, leaving me kneeling in the middle of the floor.
…Awkward.
He says, “Come here, Lily,” and pats his thigh.
A little hurt at his lack of enthusiasm, I pout and stay where I am. Giving me a firm look, he pats his thigh again and says, “I said get over here, Lily.” And it’s so much like the old Nox that I stand immediately, and move over to him.
When I’m a foot away from him, he takes hold of my wrist and pulls me down onto his lap. Immediately worried about his leg, I blurt out, “I don’t want to hurt you.”
And what he says next makes me warm all over. “Been hurting a long time. You can’t see this type of hurt, though. Broken hearts don’t mend easily. And you’re not hurting me right now, baby. But even if you were, it would hurt so sweet.” Turning to face him, I kiss his lips softly and sigh. He pulls back a little. “Also, I love that you love me enough to want to marry me, but where I come from, it’s a man’s duty to ask. And I love knowing that when I’m good and ready to propose to my girl, she’ll say yes. But I don’t have a lot left to give, so please give me this, and let me do it in my own time.” He leans into my hair and murmurs, “But it’ll come soon, baby. After all this, I know I can’t live without you.”
And just like that, my hurt pride shrugs and smiles while giving me a thumbs up.
My eyes crinkle, and I place a slow kiss on his cheek. I answer softly, “Okay, honey.”
He reaches into his pocket and smiles. “Good. Because this ring has been weighing me down for three months.”
My eyes widen, and my mouth gapes, as I watch him open the red velvet box.
The white gold ring is simple and elegant, with a row of baguette diamonds across the top.
Biting my lip, I squeak and he laughs while asking, “Delilah Flynn. I love you more than I thought possible. I want to live the rest of my life with you, if you’ll have me.” Just about to answer, he adds, “I don’t know if I’ll ever be the man I was before. I just want you to know that, because I’ll understand if you don’t want a damaged man as a husband.”
Not even bothering to acknowledge that last statement, I bend down as he reaches up.
Our lips meet in a slow but deep kiss and I mutter against him, “I can’t wait to be Lily Taylor.”
I feel him smile against my mouth. Pecking my lips, he asks something that makes me go rigid. “Want to meet my mom?”
Chapter Twenty-Four
Parental Units
Two weeks later…
Lily
Nox drives up to the place I used to call home, and I smile remembering this is where we first met.
My fiancé didn’t like the fact that my dad and I have grown apart, so he came up with an idea that will, hopefully, bring us all together again. He requested a family dinner.
That’s right. Nox requested a family dinner.
He also filled me in on a little secret that no one knows about. His mom always knew her son was alive. And I came to know this when we went to visit her last week. I was nervous and a total mess. Nox laughed at me, “Babe, seriously. She knows all about you. I send her letters every week. She already loves you.”
I scoffed, “Oh, sure! She loves the little harlot that almost got her son killed!”
He gave me the stink eye. “Don’t ever say that again. Ever.”
Rolling my eyes, I turned my head and wore a secret smile.
Every day I was getting a piece of the old Nox back. More bossiness and less doubt. I was loving every second of rediscovering my man.
We had yet to do the deed again, but I was willing to be as patient as possible, especially after witnessing a full-blown anxiety attack that was so bad, that I had to strip him and wipe his shaking body down with a cool cloth.
It seems Nox has nightmares. He says they’re getting better, and I’m inclined to believe him because in that first week, he had three, and this week, he hasn’t had a single one.
But watching my man be all determined and strong is seriously winding me up. I can??
?t wait until we get back to the bedroom.
As soon as we exited the car, a small woman with coifed hair, dressed in a sweet, pastel pinafore dress under an apron, and wiping her hands with a dishcloth, came running out of the house screaming, “You’re here! You’re finally here!”
What shocked me even more was that this little woman basically pushed her son out of the way to scoop me up in a warm hug, and said in the best southern twang I’d ever heard, “Lily, child, I wondered when I’d be seeing you! Oh dear. The things you’ve gone through,” she clucked. “Come inside and let Mama feed you.”
Ignoring her now-laughing son, she smacked him with the dish towel, took me by the hand, and led me inside her gorgeous house in the middle of nowhere.
Trudging behind us with his cane, he called out, “Mama, you make your biscuits?”
She puffed out her chest. “Darn tootin’ I made my biscuits. Gravy too, baby.” She turned to me. “Just the way he likes ‘em,” she said, patting my hand.
We visited with Clare, who insisted I call her Mama, for two days. By the end of the visit, I was seriously sad to go. I loved having someone to talk about Nox with.
We sat for lunch that last day, and I poured some iced tea for us all. When I went to add sugar to Nox’s, he shook his head and grinned, “Sweet tea’s for pussies, babe.”
Both of us scrunching our noses at his crudeness, Clare uttered, “I know you’re not a child anymore, Adam, but you’re not too old for your mama to smack you upside the head. You’d do best to remember that.” Then she eyed her son as she said, “Pass me the sugar, sugar. Mama likes her tea sweet. And I’m no pussy, thank you very much.”
Later that day, Clare and I sat out on the porch while Nox rested. He was still at the stage of becoming exhausted pretty quickly, and the travelling really took it out of him.
Finally having some time alone, I asked her, “What was he like as a kid?”
A wistful smile graced her face. “He was a fussy baby. Even back then, he was demanding.” She chuckled. “I always knew he wouldn’t lead a regular life. He was always protecting or helping someone. Always knew he was destined for bigger things, my Adam was.” Turning to me, she said in complete awe, “He was exceptional. Good at everything. Learned at a quick pace. Like a sponge. Just soaking up information. Sharp as a tack,” she laughed. “Lord knows he didn’t get that from his mama. I’m a simple girl, from a simple town, with simple needs. My Adam…he was much more.”
I sat there listening with a smile until she said, “That’s how I knew you were special.”
My eyes started to burn, but she went on, “Adam has a way of surrounding himself with special people. Rock and Boo are special, just like him, and when he said he’d met a girl…” She looked over at me with a knowing smile. “I knew he’d met her. That one person everyone looks for. They search and search, and some die trying to find ‘em. And when you finally meet them, something inside of you says ‘Oh, there you are. I’ve been looking for you. And I didn’t even know it.’”
By this point, I was silently blubbering.
She explained, “See, for me, it was Adam’s daddy. I didn’t have him for very long before I lost him, but he was that person. I knew I’d never love like that again. And I didn’t need to because that love…I still have it inside of me. It makes every hard day a little easier.”
I said through shuddering breaths, “You’re a very wise woman, Clare.”
And she laughed. “Dear lord, Lily! No one ever accused me of being wise. And stop calling me Clare. I like when you call me Mama.”
Smiling out into fresh air, I closed my eyes and responded quietly, “Okay, Mama.”
Which brings us to now.
Staring out the windshield, I mutter, “Oh dear God, this is going to awkward.”
Nox chuckles, “No it won’t. Stop being dramatic.”
Scowling at him, I lean across the seat and punch him in the arm. He mock-blocks me and laughs, “Hey, no fighting the cripple!”
My eyes flash. Reaching over again, I punch him twice more while he laughs. I hate that he calls himself that. I will never see him as an invalid or cripple.
He’s just…Nox.
Exiting the car, we reach the front door, and I’m glad I asked Terah to prepare Mom and Dad for meeting Nox. I didn’t want them being shocked or to ask stupid questions that he couldn’t answer. My dad worried me the most.
I wondered how he’d react to meeting the person who stole his daughter away.
Holding Nox by the hand, I reach forward to press the doorbell when the door swings open. Terah runs to me, wrapping me up tight and screeching, “Oh my God! I can’t believe this! I’m so fucking happy for you!”
Releasing me suddenly, she runs over to a now freaked-out Nox and throws her arms around him, yelling, “I’m so glad you’re not dead anymore!” Nox chuckles silently, and Terah looks up at him seriously. “No, I mean it. That totally sucked!”
He laughs harder, putting an arm around her, smiling. “Me, too. It’s good to be alive.”
Terah bounces up and down while saying in a sing-song voice, “And getting married!”
Shaking my head at her, I utter, “Calm down, dorkette. We haven’t told anyone yet.”
Suddenly, a tall, handsome man appears at the front door. He has light brown hair, laughing brown eyes, and an easy smile. Taking one look at Nox, he walks forward, taking him into a firm hug. Nox hugs him back, and they talk close for a while.
This must be Jonathon.
Releasing Nox, he comes forward, smiling with open arms. Feeling shy, I walk forward and allow him to hug me tight.
He kisses my head and my heart aches. Such a sweet gesture and I don’t even know him.
Jon pulls back a little and says, “Goddamn, those are some genes. Guess your dad’s lucky he didn’t have any more baby girls. He’d have to beat ‘em off with a stick.” Pausing, he adds in complete seriousness, “Or commit murder.”
Blushing, I giggle stupidly loud, and both he and Nox chuckle.
Terah slaps his arm playfully. “Leave her alone, Jon. You’re embarrassing her.”
She takes me by the arm and leads me down the hall. I know what she’s doing. She’s trying to put it out in the open that she supports me, whatever the decision. And I’m grateful.
Approaching the kitchen, I hear Mom chatting away to herself. When I peek inside, she squeals, “Oh, my baby!”
Laughing softly, I wrap her up in a hug and hold her tightly. She sighs, “It’s so quiet here without you, honey.”
Squeezing her, I say, “I thought you liked the quiet.”
Squeezing back, she utters, “There’s quiet. And then there’s quiet. And I don’t like quiet.”
Releasing her, she looks past me to Nox. Using his cane for support, he comes forward, and Mom’s face turns devastated. Not a second later, she takes him into a motherly embrace and mutters over and over again. “Thank you so much.”
He did save my life, after all.
Nox holds her. “I’d do it again in a heartbeat, ma’am.”
Pulling back, she smacks his chest, “Don’t you ma’am me. You’ll call me Mom.” Staring at her in shock, she turns to me and adds with a wink, “Nice ring.”
I mentally smack my forehead.
I forgot to take off my ring. Some surprise.
Mom tuts, “We need drinks! And I think the occasion calls for something bubbly.”
She moves across the pristine kitchen with such ease it looks as though she’s gliding. Opening the refrigerator, she pulls out two bottles of Dom Perignon and hands them to Jon to pop the corks.
He pours and hands us our glasses, but something doesn’t feel right.
“Where’s Dad?”
Mom’s happy face droops. “In his office.”
Silence.
We stare at each other for a moment before I blurt out, “I should go get him.”
Moms smile reappears, gentler this time. “That would be nice, sweetie.” br />
Nox squeezes my neck and asks Mom, “Do you think I could sit down somewhere? I get tired pretty quickly these days.”
Her face falls, “Oh, honey! I’m so sorry. Of course we can sit. Let’s go outside. It’s such a nice day.”
Linking her arm with his free one, she leads them to the backyard, and Nox turns to wink at me. Shaking my head, I smile and bite my lip to stop my laughter. The goof is giving me time by distracting my mom.
I love that man.
Watching them all exit through the double doors, I take a moment to prepare myself for this encounter. I love my dad. I do. But I wish he’d done things differently.
It’s too late to do anything about that now, but it still bugs me.
Quietly making my way down the hall, I stop by my dad’s office and listen in.
Nothing. Not a sound.
Peeking in, I see my dad at his desk, going through a photo album. I assume he wants privacy, so I turn to leave, when I hear, “Nothing scarier than almost losing a child.”
Stopping in my tracks, I listen as he goes on, “Losing a child, as in your wee one passing away, I think ye could come to terms with. It’s so final. I’m not saying it would be easy, just that it’s permanent. But almost losing a child…” He clears his throat. “…It’s a very hard thing to witness. Ye do the best ye can to hold it together for yer family. Somehow, it always comes back to that day. The thought of ye being out of me sight for even a minute was enough to make me loopy.”
Turning, my eyes met my father’s as he continued, “Because if ye were out of me sight, I couldn’t protect ye, love. It’s a father’s duty. And I only did what any father would do. I could handle ye thinking I wasn’t fair. As long as ye were safe, I could deal with yer attitude, Lily.”
And although I don’t completely understand, I get it somewhat. Nodding once, I shift from foot-to–foot, suddenly nervous.
A smiling Dad breaks the tension with, “So he fought the underworld for ye?”
Not able to keep the smile down, I whisper, “He promised he’d come back for me.”
He looks serene as he says, “Must love ye a lot, Lily girl.”