Izzy sinks down over me, and her head arches back. She bites down onto her lip with her eyes shut tight as if she’s enjoying the hell out of it—at least I hope she is.
I suck in a quick breath as I lower her over my body. Izzy digs her fingers into my shoulders and buries her face in my neck.
“Holt,” she gives it in a heated whisper.
“I got you.” I plunge her over me, again and again, until I’m almost there. She takes everything I’m giving her, moaning softly in my ear, saying my name until it drives me insane. “Izzy, I—” I almost said it. I don’t know if I can keep the words from flying out of my mouth.
I give about three more thrusts and lock her body down over mine. Neither of us moves as I give in to my release. I throb for days, shaking out deep inside her as I bury my face in her hair.
“That was heaven,” I whisper. “Sorry—I was greedy.” I press a kiss into the hollow of her neck. “Spend the night. Let me make it up to you.”
She tilts back and belts out a laugh. “Maybe I will.”
“You want to hang out? I’ll entertain the hell out of you with my mixer moves.”
“Sounds like a plan.”
“Then maybe we can catch a movie. Or there’s always tomorrow night.” I take a quick breath. “Mmm.” I wince as Mom’s birthday comes to mind. “I just remembered I’ve got this family thing tomorrow night, but hey, there’s always Sunday, right?”
“A family thing?” She nods into me expectantly. Izzy is so damn beautiful she looks like Ms. America 24/7, never mind the fact she’s got that I’ve-just-been-fucked look that’s making me insane. But I’m not sure about bringing her to any family thing just yet.
I dot her cheek with a kiss. “It’s not important.” As much as I want to bring Izzy home, I can’t stomach the thought of flaunting my new relationship in front of my mother after what I did to her. I don’t think I can go there just yet—ever maybe.
“Not important, huh?” Her features soften. Izzy sags in my arms, dejected. “That’s fine.” She gives a sad smile. “And you know what? I totally get it.” She hops down and readjusts her dress.
We head back out into the bar, and she glances at her phone.
“It’s my mom. I think I’d better head out. She twisted her ankle a few weeks back.”
“Will I see you tonight?” I run my fingers through her hair, afraid I might have hurt her somehow. It’s written all over her face that I did.
“We’ll see.” She gives a little shrug and heads out the door.
I’ve been around enough girls to know I’m in the doghouse.
I just can’t figure out why.
Saturday night rolls around and still no sign or word from Izzy. I know she mentioned her mother needed her, but it’s pretty clear that was just an excuse. Baya and Bryson drive out to my mother’s together, and I hop in my truck and head over alone. I should’ve asked Izzy to come. It would have been the perfect time to introduce her to my mother. My stomach knots up as if protesting the idea.
I park and head on up. Annie has the house decorated with streamers and balloons. A large banner is strung out over the living room that reads Happy Birthday Mom! 50 years young!
Mom is in the den, already chatting it up with Baya and Bryson.
“It’s the birthday princess.” I pull her into a nice, tight hug and give her cheek a little peck. “Happy birthday. You look great.”
“So do you.” She gently slaps my cheeks before looking over my shoulder. “Alone are we?”
“As always.” It feels right saying that and, yet, a part of me doesn’t want it to.
“Annie mentioned you might be bringing someone.” She smooths my collar. “I did too with the way you were kissing that girl the night of the engagement party.” She lifts her glass as if she were toasting me.
“I sort of thought you were bringing someone, too.” Baya shoots me the stink eye.
Annie pops up from behind and signs, Where’s Izzy?
“I don’t know.” I sign the words as well, and it feels just as lousy declaring it in two languages. “I’ll probably catch up with her later.”
I thought she’d be here. Her features sag. Annie looks downright crestfallen that Izzy’s not with me. I told her I was cooking something special. I guess I’ll have to wait to show off my culinary skills. She makes a face.
Crap. Izzy knew about the party. No wonder her mood downshifted when I told her it wasn’t anything important. She knew it was.
A young blonde appears next to Annie.
This is my friend, Marley. Annie gives her a half-hug. She’s my new roommate at Whitney Briggs. We move in the day after the wedding.
“Nice to meet you.”
Annie used to tutor kids in sign language after school, so she rarely drops the syntax when signing. She’s always been a stickler for going the extra mile in everything she does, including expanding her social circle.
“I know you!” The blonde bounces on her heels. “You’re that hot bartender at the Black Bear.”
“No, that’s him.” I mock shoot Bryson.
“Nope, it’s you.” She gives a little wink, and now I’m really wishing Izzy was by my side. Maybe it’s not too late to text her. But then it’s dark as shit and almost impossible to get here unless you know the way. Maybe I’ll surprise her and stop by her place tonight, bring some whiskey and my tail between my legs.
Annie herds us all to the table, and Marley lands across from me with a dreamy look in her eyes.
Perfect.
Baya and Bryson fill the conversation with talk of their wedding. Still can’t believe he’s getting hitched in just a couple of weeks.
“How about you, Holt?” Mom waves her fork in my direction before taking a bite. “You think you’ll be taking the plunge anytime soon?” She tilts her head as if demanding an answer.
“Don’t know. I always thought I’d sort of be the forever bachelor.” And that’s the truth.
“Give him a break.” Bryson wads up his napkin and tosses it at me. “He needs to sink his teeth into a relationship first.”
“He’s just a late bloomer.” Mom comes to my defense. “Besides, there are still plenty of options out there for him.” She raises her brows in Marley’s direction.
Nope. Not going there. I’ve got all of my options narrowed down to one—the perfect one. I don’t need anyone else. I just need Izzy.
“Speaking of relationships, I have an announcement.” Mom leans in like a giddy schoolgirl. “I’m back in the dating pool.”
Bryson growls at the news. “Tell ‘em you got two buff dudes looking out for you.”
Baya leans in. “I think it’s great. I hope you have a good time.”
I lift a glass. “To Mom on what I predict to be the best half of her life.” Everyone joins in on the toast. “And to Bryson and Baya. Here’s to the happily ever after you both deserve.”
We touch glasses and knock back our drinks.
“To happily ever after,” Mom chimes.
Sounds like Mom is ready to move on. Grief coats me like lead from the inside out.
My mood plummets, and, as soon as we have cake, I make up an excuse about the bar and hightail it out of there.
Someday soon I’ll have to let go of all this bullshit.
Too bad I can’t figure out how.
10
All of Me
Izzy
Hi Daddy,
Just when I thought I had my life squared away, the bottom falls out again. That’s what I get for leaping into the oily black lie that is love. I loved you. I leaped in your arms every day screaming those very words, and, now, all that’s left is a void—dead empty space, brokenness, and whiskey, and my splintered heart. It’s a shame I ever trusted anyone—beginning with you.
Maybe I’m not the fuck up—maybe you are,
~Elizabeth
Spending Saturday night with my mother has never really bothered me—until now. I’ve got the ritualistic chick flick going. We??
?ve each washed and set our hair in rollers. I’ve plied both our faces with enough avocado and raw egg to make any omelet jealous. Our fingers and toes are freshly painted a raucous shade of fuchsia as we watch a waning romantic comedy we’ve seen at least a dozen times before, but, deep down, I still wish I was with Holt at the birthday party I wasn’t invited to.
A gentle knock vibrates from the door, and we freeze.
I cinch my bathrobe shut and look to my mother. “You expecting someone?”
“Nope. You?”
I avert my eyes. “It’s almost ten-thirty. Everyone knows that only serial killers and booty calls come a knocking this late.” I bat her away. “Get the gun.”
“We don’t have a gun.” She narrows in on me with that are-you-shitting-me look on her face. Mom isn’t one to fear anything or anyone—a genetic trait that obviously skips a generation—or at least me.
“Then, obviously, we should get one,” I hiss. “Call 911.”
Her mouth squares out. “So they can do what? Act as a butler service at tax payers’ expense?” She waves me off as she heads toward the commotion. “You ever call the cops for something so ridiculous, you’re going to end up on the news. It won’t be flattering. It’s probably just Laney. She’s forever losing her key.”
“I can count on one hand how many times she’s been here this year and still have four fingers and a thumb left over.” I jump to my feet in the event I need to smash someone’s head in with a lead crystal vase—even though we’re currently deficient in such luxuries.
“Smart ass.” She flings open the door and her glossy green face brightens. Great, it’s probably Donny coming back with his greasy tail between his legs. For his sake he’d better have my forty-five bucks on hand. “Oh look, it’s another smart ass!” She widens the door and waves the said smart ass in. It’s probably Jemma. “Aren’t you the margarita mixer who was sucking face with my daughter a few weeks back?”
Oh. My. God.
Holt walks into the room, and our eyes connect in that deer-in-the-headlights kind of way. Mine because he sees me in this hideous slumber party getup, and his most likely because he’s pondering how fast he should run away from the two green aliens standing before him.
A smile spreads over his face, wide as the sea.
Somebody kill me.
Here I am, looking like a day spa cast off while the most handsome man in the history of the world stands before me smiling like a loon. God, he’s probably laughing—affirming to himself it was a brilliant idea not to include me in on his mother’s big birthday bash. He’s probably here to tell me we’re not a good fit, that he prefers dating girls who can’t see thirty on the horizon for another ten years. Oh, hell, what do I care—it’s not like I don’t already have egg on my face.
“So what do you think, Izzy?” Mom plants her fists over her hips. “How would you classify this? Is he a serial killer or is this a—how did you phrase it? Booty call?” A grin spreads over her face. “I don’t think they call it that anymore.” She turns to Holt. “What are the kids calling it these days? A bump and grind? A late night sex summons? Or just a good-old fashioned mounting?”
“Shit,” I whimper, dashing past the two of them and throwing myself in the shower. If ever there were a day I could shrivel up and slip down the drain, this one would be nice.
Booty call. I rake a brush through my hair and change into my red silk robe. Is it wrong of me to secretly wish it were Greasy D and not Holt?
I head back out to the living room where my mother is busy staring him down.
Holt has his hair slicked back, a crisp white dress shirt on with his inky dark jeans, and, holy hell, I’ve never been so glad it’s not Greasy.
“Izzy!” My mother sings while patting the spot on the couch beside her. All four cats sit at attention and glare openly at Holt. Honest to God, I’ve never seen them so riveted by anyone. Bashful looks like he’s about to knife him. “I’m so glad you could join us.” Mom bubbles with laughter, and it sets off all sorts of alarms inside me. My mother never bubbles. “Your special visitor and I have been getting to know one another.” Her voice reaches a melodic crescendo.
Crap. She’s never this giddy. Giddy is against her religion. Sarcasm is the altar at which she worships. And if she’s not aiming her cynicism in poor Holt’s direction—that must mean I’m the one being tied to a stake. Shit. She’s about to make an offering to the god of shame and humiliation—and I’d bet the forty-five dollars I no longer have that the sacrifice involves me. “Izzy Sawyer—come on down!” She sings as if I’ve just won a spot on a game show. The Wheel of Misfortune.
I spear her with a look. I swear, that woman has sung her last chorus.
“Holt and I were just going over your old report cards.” She fans herself with a stack of white papers.
I suck in a quick breath.
He shakes a small black box, and its contents clatter happily.
“And baby teeth!” She sings over to him.
“My report cards…baby teeth?” Fuck.
On second thought I wish I had 911 on speed dial to keep me from killing my mother.
I touch my hands to my temples. Shit, shit, shit! Brain hurts. A serious cerebral injury is taking place, and it’s all my mother’s fault.
“Report cards, really?” I moan.
“Oh, just high school dear.” Mom flicks her wrist on her way over to me. She leans in and kisses my cheek on her way out of the room. “If you kids don’t mind, I’ve got a date with a hunk of steel named Magnum. He’s locked, loaded, and ready to go. I’ve got a thirty-day warranty and brand new D batteries. I’m going to make the best of it.” She glances back at Holt. “It’s time to say hello to my little friend.”
Oh. My. God. I close my eyes a moment. I don’t know which is worse. The fact Holt has seen me decked out like a thirteen-year-old at a sleepover or the fact my mother just referenced her vibrator in her best Cuban accent.
Holt appears by my side, and I can’t seem to scrape my gaze off the floor.
“Hey, beautiful.” He touches his finger to my chin and gently lifts it until I’m swimming in those silver beams he calls eyes. “Brought you something.” He produces a rectangular amber bottle from behind his back.
“Whiskey?” I jump a little when I say it, mostly because I think I’m overdue for a good inebriation.
Holt smolders into me—his lids heavy with desire, and my panties beg to melt right off. Then I remember where I am and who’s in the next room pulling her love slave out of a box, and my thighs cinch shut.
Okay. I take a breath. Stay calm. This is not a problem. I’m a grown woman. Who the hell cares if my mother is home cuddling up to a robotic device in the name of her warranty? A tiny voice in the back of my head says me, but I’m quick to squelch it.
“Sorry I didn’t call.” He leans in and tucks his face in my neck for a moment.
“I’m not.” I touch my hand to the stubble peppering his cheeks and groan. “I’m just glad you’re here.”
“I want to apologize for not inviting you to my mother’s party. It was stupid of me. Believe me, Iz, I can’t wait to bring you home. I want you in every part of my life. I swear you’re everything—”
I shake my head and touch a finger to his lips.
“I don’t need an apology.” I pull him in by the back of the neck. “I just need, you.” I hike up on my tiptoes and press a gentle kiss against his lips, so chaste and soft, like a butterfly brushing its wings. Here I am, kissing Holt Edwards right in the living room I grew up in. This is going to make a great story to tell all those imaginary future Edwards one day. For sure it trumps Laney’s I-met-him-in-the-ladies-room-because-he-forgot-his-contacts anecdote. My mother thought Ryder was a pervert for at least a year.
“I couldn’t get here fast enough.” He pulls back and whispers over my lips. “You’re all I think about. Every second we’re not together feels empty. I would have crawled here if I had to.”
“Holt.” I
close my eyes for a moment because a part of me wanted to hear exactly that. I clear my throat and take a deep breath. “So”—a smile bounces on my lips—“you had a chance to spend some time with my mother.” I cringe at the thought. What was I thinking leaving him alone in the same room with her? I should have dragged him off to the shower with me. Hindsight is 20/20.
“I like your Mom. She’s pretty nice, and I respect her honesty.”
“She has no filter.” Like less than zero.
“Those are some of my favorite people. Besides, she did nothing but rave about you. She really impressed me.” His lips crimp as if he’s holding back a laugh. His dimples go off, and that sweet spot between my legs cries out for him. “Of course, I wasn’t too impressed with the D you got in algebra. Or that F in chemistry.”
Ugh. My mother always said those kind of grades came back to haunt you, obviously I had no idea she would be acting as the poltergeist delivering the news to my newly minted boyfriend.
I touch my fingers to my mouth as if I’d just said that out loud. I guess I sort of do have a boyfriend. I give Holt a little smile as I lead him toward the hall.
“You ready for the grand tour?” I run my tongue over my lips like an afterthought, and his eyes widen. “It ends in my private boudoir.”
“Are you kidding? I get to see Izzy Sawyer’s bedroom? I’ve waited nine long years for this moment.”
A hard thump comes from my mother’s room. “I heard that!”
I avert my eyes at her muffled cry.
“Don’t worry. We’ll be two whole rooms away.” I give a quick wink leading him deeper down the hall, and a horrid rumble shatters the silence as if she’s just fired up a lawnmower.
“Oh, Magnum—yes baby, please!” She belts it out at the top of her lungs, and the hideous drilling noise gets progressively louder.