Your affectionate Ed. Rivers.
LETTER 99.
To John Temple, Esq; Pall Mall.
Quebec, March 23.
I have received your second letter, my dear Temple, with the accountof your marriage.
Nothing could make me so happy as an event which unites a sister Iidolize to the friend on earth most dear to me, did I not tremble foryour future happiness, from my perfect knowledge of both.
I know the sensibility of Lucy's temper, and that she loves you: Iknow also the difficulty of weaning the heart from such a habit ofinconstancy as you have unhappily acquired.
Virtues like Lucy's will for ever command your esteem andfriendship; but in marriage it is equally necessary to keep love alive:her beauty, her gaiety, her delicacy, will do much; but it is alsonecessary, my dearest Temple, that you keep a guard on your heart,accustomed to liberty, to give way to every light impression.
I need not tell you, who have experienced the truth of what I say,that happiness is not to be found in a life of intrigue; there is noreal pleasure in the possession of beauty without the heart; with it,the fears, the anxieties, a man not absolutely destitute of humanitymust feel for the honor of her who ventures more than life for him,must extremely counterbalance his transports.
Of all the situations this world affords, a marriage of choice givesthe fairest prospect of happiness; without love, life would be atasteless void; an unconnected human being is the most wretched of allcreatures: by love I would be understood to mean that tender livelyfriendship, that mixed sensation, which the libertine never felt; andwith which I flatter myself my amiable sister cannot fail of inspiringa heart naturally virtuous, however at present warped by a foolishcompliance with the world.
I hope, my dear Temple, to see you recover your taste for thosepleasures peculiarly fitted to our natures; to see you enjoy the puredelights of peaceful domestic life, the calm social evening hour, thecircle of friends, the prattling offspring, and the tender impassionedsmile of real love.
Your generosity is no more than I expected from your character; andto convince you of my perfect esteem, I so far accept it, as to drawout the money I have in the funds, which I intended for my sister: itwill make my settlement here turn to greater advantage, and I allow youthe pleasure of convincing Lucy of the perfect disinterestedness ofyour affection: it would be a trifle to you, and will make me happy.
But I am more delicate in regard to my mother, and will neverconsent to resume the estate I have settled on her: I esteem you aboveall mankind, but will not let _her_ be dependent even on you: Iconsent she visit you as often as she pleases, but insist on hercontinuing her house in town, and living in every respect as she hasbeen accustomed.
As to Lucy's own little fortune, as it is not worth your receiving,suppose she lays it out in jewels? I love to see beauty adorned; andtwo thousand pounds, added to what you have given her, will set her ona footing in this respect with a nabobess.
Your marriage, my dear Temple, removes the strongest objection tomine; the money I have in the funds, which whilst Lucy was unmarried Inever would have taken, enables me to fix to great advantage here. Ihave now only to try whether Emily's friendship for me is sufficientlystrong to give up all hopes of a return to England.
I shall make an immediate trial: you shall know the event in a fewdays. If she refuses me, I bid adieu to all my schemes, and embark inthe first ship.
Give my kindest tenderest wishes to my mother and sister. My dearTemple, only know the value of the treasure you possess, and you mustbe happy. Adieu!
Your affectionate Ed. Rivers.
LETTER 100.
To the Earl of ----.
My Lord,
Silleri, March 24.
Nothing can be more just than your Lordship's observation; and I amthe more pleased with it, as it coincides with what I had the honor ofsaying to you in my last, in regard to the impropriety, the cruelty,I had almost said the injustice, of your intention of deserting thatworld of which you are at once the ornament and the example.
Good people, as your Lordship observes, are generally too retiredand abstracted to let their example be of much service to the world:whereas the bad, on the contrary, are conspicuous to all; they standforth, they appear on the fore ground of the picture, and forcethemselves into observation.
'Tis to that circumstance, I am persuaded, we may attribute thatdangerous and too common mistake, that vice is natural to the humanheart, and virtuous characters the creatures of fancy; a mistake of themost fatal tendency, as it tends to harden our hearts, and destroythat mutual confidence so necessary to keep the bands of society fromloosening, and without which man is the most ferocious of all beastsof prey.
Would all those whose virtues like your Lordship's are adorned bypoliteness and knowledge of the world, mix more in society, we shouldsoon see vice hide her head: would all the good appear in full view,they would, I am convinced, be found infinitely the majority.
Virtue is too lovely to be hid in cells, the world is her scene ofaction: she is soft, gentle, indulgent; let her appear then in her ownform, and she must charm: let politeness be for ever her attendant,that politeness which can give graces even to vice itself, which makessuperiority easy, removes the sense of inferiority, and adds to everyone's enjoyment both of himself and others.
I am interrupted, and must postpone till to-morrow what I havefurther to say to your Lordship. I have the honor to be, my Lord,
Your Lordship's, &c. W. Fermor.
LETTER 101.
To Mrs. Temple, Pall Mall.
Silleri, March 25.
Your brother, my dear Lucy, has made me happy in communicating to methe account he has received of your marriage. I know Temple; he is,besides being very handsome, a fine, sprightly, agreable fellow, and isparticularly formed to keep a woman's mind in that kind of play, thatgentle agitation, which will for ever secure her affection.
He has in my opinion just as much coquetry as is necessary toprevent marriage from degenerating into that sleepy kind of existence,which to minds of the awakened turn of yours and mine would beinsupportable.
He has also a fine fortune, which I hold to be a pretty enoughingredient in marriage.
In short, he is just such a man, upon the whole, as I should havechose for myself.
Make my congratulations to the dear man, and tell him, if he is notthe happiest man in the world, he will forfeit all his pretensions totaste; and if he does not make you the happiest woman, he forfeits alltitle to my favor, as well as to the favor of the whole sex.
I meant to say something civil; but, to tell you the truth, I am not_en train_; I am excessively out of humor: Fitzgerald has not beenhere of several days, but spends his whole time in gallanting MadameLa Brosse, a woman to whom he knows I have an aversion, and who hasnothing but a tolerable complexion and a modest assurance to recommendher.
I certainly gave him some provocation, but this is too much:however, 'tis very well; I don't think I shall break my heart, thoughmy vanity is a little piqued. I may perhaps live to take my revenge.
I am hurt, because I began really to like the creature; a secrethowever to which he is happily a stranger. I shall see him to-morrow atthe governor's, and suppose he will be in his penitentials: I have somedoubt whether I shall let him dance with me; yet it would look soparticular to refuse him, that I believe I shall do him the honor.
Adieu! Your affectionate A. Fermor.
26th, Thursday, 11 at night.
No, Lucy, if I forgive him this, I have lost all the free spirit ofwoman; he had the insolence to dance with Madame La Brosse to-night atthe governor's. I never will forgive him. There are men perhaps quitehis equals!--but 'tis no matter--I do him too much honor to bepiqued--yet on the footing we were--I could not have believed--
Adieu!
I was so certain he would have danced with me, that I refusedColonel H----, one of the most agreable men in the place, and thereforecou
ld not dance at all. Nothing hurt me so much as the impertinentlooks of the women; I could cry for vexation.
Would your brother have behaved thus to Emily? but why do I nameother men with your brother! do you know he and Emily had thegood-nature to refuse to dance, that my sitting still might be the lesstaken notice of? We all played at cards, and Rivers contrived to be ofmy party, by which he would have won Emily's heart if he had not had itbefore.
Good night.
LETTER 102.
To Mrs. Temple, Pall Mall.
Quebec, March 27.
I have been twice at Silleri with the intention of declaring mypassion, and explaining my situation, to Emily; but have been preventedby company, which made it impossible for me to find the opportunity Iwished.
Had I found that opportunity, I am not sure I should have made useof it; a degree of timidity is inseparable from true tenderness; and Iam afraid of declaring myself a lover, lest, if not beloved, I shouldlose the happiness I at present possess in visiting her as her friend:I cannot give up the dear delight I find in seeing her, in hearing hervoice, in tracing and admiring every sentiment of that lovelyunaffected generous mind as it rises.
In short, my Lucy, I cannot live without her esteem and friendship;and though her eyes, her attention to me, her whole manner, encourageme in the hope of being beloved, yet the possibility of my beingmistaken makes me dread an explanation by which I hazard losing thelively pleasure I find in her friendship.
This timidity however must be conquered; 'tis pardonable to feelit, but not to give way to it. I have ordered my carriole, and amdetermined to make my attack this very morning like a man of courageand a soldier.
Adieu! Your affectionate Ed. Rivers.
A letter from Bell Fermor, to whom I wrote this morning on thesubject:
"To Colonel Rivers, at Quebec.
Silleri, Friday morning.
"You are a foolish creature, and know nothing of women. Dine atSilleri, and we will air after dinner; 'tis a glorious day, and if youare timid in a covered carriole, I give you up.
"Adieu! Yours, A. Fermor."
LETTER 103.
To Mrs. Temple, Pall Mall.
Quebec, March 27, 11 at night.
She is an angel, my dear Lucy, and no words can do her justice: I amthe happiest of mankind; I painted my passion with all the movingeloquence of undissembled love; she heard me with the most flatteringattention; she said little, but her looks, her air, her tone of voice,her blushes, her very silence--how could I ever doubt her tenderness?have not those lovely eyes a thousand times betrayed the dear secret ofher heart?
My Lucy, we were formed for each other; our souls are ofintelligence; every thought, every idea--from the first moment Ibeheld her--I have a thousand things to say, but the tumult of myjoy--she has given me leave to write to her; what has she not said inthat permission?
I cannot go to bed; I will go and walk an hour on the battery; 'tisthe loveliest night I ever beheld, even in Canada: the day is scarcebrighter.
One in the morning.
I have had the sweetest walk imaginable: the moon shines with asplendor I never saw before; a thousand streaming meteors add to herbrightness; I have stood gazing on the lovely planet, and delightingmyself with the idea that 'tis the same moon that lights my Emily.
Good night, my Lucy! I love you beyond all expression; I alwaysloved you tenderly, but there is a softness about my heartto-night--this lovely woman--
I know not what I would say, but till this night I could never besaid to live.
Adieu! Your affectionate Ed. Rivers.
LETTER 104.
To Mrs. Temple, Pall Mall.
Quebec, 28th March.
I had this morning a short billet from her dear hand, entreating meto make up a quarrel between Bell Fermor and her lover: your friend hasbeen indiscreet; her spirit of coquetry is eternally carrying herwrong; but in my opinion Fitzgerald has been at least equally to blame.
His behaviour at the governor's on Thursday night was inexcusable,as it exposed her to the sneers of a whole circle of her own sex, manyof them jealous of her perfections.
A lover should overlook little caprices, where the heart is good andamiable like Bell's: I should think myself particularly obliged tobring this affair to an amicable conclusion, even if Emily had notdesired it, as I was originally the innocent cause of their quarrel. Inmy opinion he ought to beg her pardon; and, as a friend tenderlyinterested for both, I have a right to tell him I think so: he lovesher, and I know must suffer greatly, though a foolish pride preventshis acknowledging it.
My greatest fear is, that an idle resentment may engage him in anintrigue with the lady in question, who is a woman of gallantry, andwhom he may find very troublesome hereafter. It is much easier tocommence an affair of this kind than to break it off; and a man, thoughhis heart was disengaged, should be always on his guard against anything like an attachment where his affections are not reallyinterested: meer passion or meer vanity will support an affair _enpassant_; but, where the least degree of constancy and attention areexpected, the heart must feel, or the lover is subjecting himself to aslavery as irksome as a marriage without inclination.
Temple will tell you I speak like an oracle; for I have often seenhim led by vanity into this very disagreable situation: I hope I am nottoo late to save Fitzgerald from it.
Six in the evening.
All goes well: his proud heart is come down, he has begged herpardon, and is forgiven; you have no idea how civil both are to me,for having persuaded them to do what each of them has longed to do fromthe first moment: I love to advise, when I am sure the heart of theperson advised is on my side. Both were to blame, but I always love tosave the ladies from any thing mortifying to the dignity of theircharacters; a little pride in love becomes them, but not us; and 'tisalways our part to submit on these occasions.
I never saw two happier people than they are at present, as I have alittle preserved decorum on both sides, and taken the whole trouble ofthe reconciliation on myself: Bell knows nothing of my having appliedto Fitzgerald, nor he that I did it at Emily's request: my conversationwith him on this subject seemed accidental. I was obliged to leavethem, having business in town; but my lovely Emily thanked me by asmile which would overpay a thousand such little services.
I am to spend to-morrow at Silleri: how long shall I think thisevening!
Adieu! my tenderest wishes attend you all!
Your affectionate Ed. Rivers.
LETTER 105.
To Mrs. Temple, Pall Mall.
Silleri, March 27, evening.
Fitzgerald has been here, and has begged my pardon; he declares hehad no thought of displeasing me at the governor's, but from mybehaviour was afraid of importuning me if he addressed me as usual.
I thought who would come to first; for my part, if he had stayedaway for ever, I would not have suffered papa to invite him to Silleri:it was easy to see his neglect was all pique; it would have beenextraordinary indeed if such a woman as Madame La Brosse could haverivalled me: I am something younger; and, if either my glass or the menare to be believed, as handsome: _entre nous_, there is somelittle difference; if she was not so very fair, she would beabsolutely ugly; and these very fair women, you know, Lucy, are alwaysinsipid; she is the taste of no man breathing, though eternally makingadvances to every man; without spirit, fire, understanding, vivacity,or any quality capable of making amends for the mediocrity of hercharms.
Her insolence in attempting to attach Fitzgerald is intolerable,especially when the whole province knows him to be my lover: there isno expressing to what a degree I hate her.
The next time we meet I hope to return her impertinence on Thursdaynight at the governor's; I will never forgive Fitzgerald if he takesthe least notice of her.
Emily has read my letter; and says she did not think I had so muchof the woman in me; insists on my being civil to Madame La Brosse, butif I am, Lucy--
> These Frenchwomen are not to be supported; they fancy vanity andassurance are to make up for the want of every other virtue; forgettingthat delicacy, softness, sensibility, tenderness, are attractions towhich they are strangers: some of them here are however tolerablyhandsome, and have a degree of liveliness which makes them not quiteinsupportable.
You will call all this spite, as Emily does, so I will say no more:only that, in order to shew her how very easy it is to be civil to arival, I wish for the pleasure of seeing another French lady, that Icould mention, at Quebec.
Good night, my dear! tell Temple, I am every thing but in love withhim.
Your faithful, A. Fermor.
I will however own, I encouraged Fitzgerald by a kind look. I wasso pleased at his return, that I could not keep up the farce of disdainI had projected: in love affairs, I am afraid, we are all fools alike.
LETTER 106.
To Miss Fermor.
Saturday noon.
Come to my dressing-room, my dear; I have a thousand things to sayto you: I want to talk of my Rivers, to tell you all the weakness of mysoul.
No, my dear, I cannot love him more, a passion like mine will notadmit addition; from the first moment I saw him my whole soul was his:I knew not that I was dear to him; but true genuine love isself-existent, and does not depend on being beloved: I should haveloved him even had he been attached to another.