I am going to sup with the seigneur of the village, who is, I amtold, married to one of the handsomest women in the province.
Adieu! my dear! I shall write to you from Montreal.
Your affectionate Ed. Rivers.
LETTER 116.
To Mrs. Temple, Pall Mall.
Montreal, April 3.
I am arrived, my dear, after a very disagreable and dangerousjourney; I was obliged to leave the river soon after I left DesChambeaux, and to pursue my way on the land over melting snow, intowhich the horses feet sunk half a yard every step.
An officer just come from New York has given me a letter from you,which came thither by a private ship: I am happy to hear of yourhealth, and that Temple's affection for you seems rather to increasethan lessen since your marriage.
You ask me, my dear Lucy, how to preserve this affection, on thecontinuance of which, you justly say, your whole happiness depends.
The question is perhaps the most delicate and important whichrespects human life; the caprice, the inconstancy, the injustice ofmen, makes the task of women in marriage infinitely difficult.
Prudence and virtue will certainly secure esteem; but,unfortunately, esteem alone will not make a happy marriage; passionmust also be kept alive, which the continual presence of the objectbeloved is too apt to make subside into that apathy, so insupportableto sensible minds.
The higher your rank, and the less your manner of life separates youfrom each other, the more danger there will be of this indifference.
The poor, whose necessary avocations divide them all day, and whosesensibility is blunted by the coarseness of their education, are in nodanger of being weary of each other; and, unless naturally vicious, youwill see them generally happy in marriage; whereas even the virtuous,in more affluent situations, are not secure from this unhappy cessationof tenderness.
When I received your letter, I was reading Madame De Maintenon'sadvice to the Dutchess of Burgundy, on this subject. I will transcribeso much of it as relates to _the woman_, leaving her adviceto _the princess_ to those whom it may concern.
"Do not hope for perfect happiness; there is no such thing in thissublunary state.
"Your sex is the more exposed to suffer, because it is always independence: be neither angry nor ashamed of this dependence on ahusband, nor of any of those which are in the order of Providence.
"Let your husband be your best friend and your only confidant.
"Do not hope that your union will procure you perfect peace: thebest marriages are those where with softness and patience they bear byturns with each other; there are none without some contradiction anddisagreement.
"Do not expect the same degree of friendship that you feel: men arein general less tender than women; and you will be unhappy if you aretoo delicate in friendship.
"Beg of God to guard your heart from jealousy: do not hope to bringback a husband by complaints, ill humor, and reproaches. The only meanswhich promise success, are patience and softness: impatience sours andalienates hearts; softness leads them back to their duty.
"In sacrificing your own will, pretend to no right over that of ahusband: men are more attached to theirs than women, because educatedwith less constraint.
"They are naturally tyrannical; they will have pleasures andliberty, yet insist that women renounce both: do not examine whethertheir rights are well founded; let it suffice to you, that they areestablished; they are masters, we have only to suffer and obey with agood grace."
Thus far Madame De Maintenon, who must be allowed to have known theheart of man, since, after having been above twenty years a widow, sheenflamed, even to the degree of bringing him to marry her, that of agreat monarch, younger than herself, surrounded by beauties, habituatedto flattery, in the plenitude of power, and covered with glory; andretained him in her chains to the last moment of his life.
Do not, however, my dear, be alarmed at the picture she has drawn ofmarriage; nor fancy with her, that women are only born to suffer andto obey.
That we are generally tyrannical, I am obliged to own; but such ofus as know how to be happy, willingly give up the harsh title ofmaster, for the more tender and endearing one of friend; men of senseabhor those customs which treat your sex as if created meerly for thehappiness of the other; a supposition injurious to the Deity, thoughflattering to our tyranny and self-love; and wish only to bind you inthe soft chains of affection.
Equality is the soul of friendship: marriage, to give delight, mustjoin two minds, not devote a slave to the will of an imperious lord;whatever conveys the idea of subjection necessarily destroys that oflove, of which I am so convinced, that I have always wished the wordobey expunged from the marriage ceremony.
If you will permit me to add my sentiments to those of a lady solearned in the art of pleasing; I would wish you to study the taste ofyour husband, and endeavor to acquire a relish for those pleasureswhich appear most to affect him; let him find amusement at home, butnever be peevish at his going abroad; he will return to you with thehigher gust for your conversation: have separate apartments, since yourfortune makes it not inconvenient; be always elegant, but not tooexpensive, in your dress; retain your present exquisite delicacy ofevery kind; receive his friends with good-breeding and complacency;contrive such little parties of pleasure as you know are agreable tohim, and with the most agreable people you can select: be lively evento playfulness in your general turn of conversation with him; but, atthe same time, spare no pains so to improve your understanding, whichis an excellent one, as to be no less capable of being the companion ofhis graver hours: be ignorant of nothing which it becomes your sex toknow, but avoid all affectation of knowledge: let your oeconomy beexact, but without appearing otherwise than by the effect.
Do not imitate those of your sex who by ill temper make a husbandpay dear for their fidelity; let virtue in you be drest in smiles; andbe assured that chearfulness is the native garb of innocence.
In one word, my dear, do not lose the mistress in the wife, but letyour behaviour to him as a husband be such as you would have thoughtmost proper to attract him as a lover: have always the idea of pleasingbefore you, and you cannot fail to please.
Having lectured you, my dear Lucy, I must say a word to Temple: agreat variety of rules have been given for the conduct of women inmarriage; scarce any for that of men; as if it was not essential todomestic happiness, that the man should preserve the heart of her withwhom he is to spend his life; or as if bestowing happiness were notworth a man's attention, so he possessed it: if, however, it ispossible to feel true happiness without giving it.
You, my dear Temple, have too just an idea of pleasure to think inthis manner: you would be beloved; it has been the pursuit of yourlife, though never really attained perhaps before. You at presentpossess a heart full of sensibility, a heart capable of loving withardor, and from the same cause as capable of being estranged byneglect: give your whole attention to preserving this invaluabletreasure; observe every rule I have given to her, if you would behappy; and believe me, the heart of woman is not less delicate thantender; their sensibility is more keen, they feel more strongly thanwe do, their tenderness is more easily wounded, and their hearts aremore difficult to recover if once lost.
At the same time, they are both by nature and education moreconstant, and scarce ever change the object of their affections butfrom ill treatment: for which reason there is some excuse for a customwhich appears cruel, that of throwing contempt on the husband for theill conduct of the wife.
Above all things, retain the politeness and attention of a lover;and avoid that careless manner which wounds the vanity of human nature,a passion given us, as were all passions, for the wisest ends, andwhich never quits us but with life.
There is a certain attentive tenderness, difficult to be described,which the manly of our sex feel, and which is peculiarly pleasing towoman: 'tis also a very delightful sensation to ourselves, as well asproductive of the happiest consequences: regarding them as creaturespla
ced by Providence under our protection, and depending on us fortheir happiness, is the strongest possible tie of affection to awell-turned mind.
If I did not know Lucy perfectly, I should perhaps hesitate in thenext advice I am going to give you; which is, to make her theconfidante, and the _only_ confidante, of your gallantries, if youare so unhappy as to be inadvertently betrayed into any: her heart willpossibly be at first a little wounded by the confession, but this proofof perfect esteem will increase her friendship for you; she will regardyour error with compassion and indulgence, and lead you gently back byher endearing tenderness to honor and herself.
Of all tasks I detest that of giving advice; you are thereforeunder infinite obligation to me for this letter.
Be assured of my tenderest affection; and believe me,
Yours, &c. Ed. Rivers.
LETTER 117.
To the Earl of ----.
Silleri, April 8.
Nothing can be more true, my Lord, than that poverty is ever theinseparable companion of indolence.
I see proofs of it every moment before me; with a soil fruitfulbeyond all belief, the Canadians are poor on lands which are their ownproperty, and for which they pay only a trifling quit-rent to theirseigneurs.
This indolence appears in every thing: you scarce see the meanestpeasant walking; even riding on horseback appears to them a fatigueinsupportable; you see them lolling at ease, like their lazy lords, incarrioles and calashes, according to the season; a boy to guide thehorse on a seat in the front of the carriage, too lazy even to take thetrouble of driving themselves, their hands in winter folded in animmense muff, though perhaps their families are in want of bread to eatat home.
The winter is passed in a mixture of festivity and inaction; dancingand feasting in their gayer hours; in their graver smoking, anddrinking brandy, by the side of a warm stove: and when obliged tocultivate the ground in spring to procure the means of subsistence, yousee them just turn the turf once lightly over, and, without manuringthe ground, or even breaking the clods of earth, throw in the seed inthe same careless manner, and leave the event to chance, withouttroubling themselves further till it is fit to reap.
I must, however, observe, as some alleviation, that there issomething in the climate which strongly inclines both the body andmind, but rather the latter, to indolence: the heat of the summer,though pleasing, enervates the very soul, and gives a certain lassitudeunfavorable to industry; and the winter, at its extreme, binds up andchills all the active faculties of the soul.
Add to this, that the general spirit of amusement, so universal herein winter, and so necessary to prevent the ill effects of the season,gives a habit of dissipation and pleasure, which makes labor doublyirksome at its return.
Their religion, to which they are extremely bigoted, is anothergreat bar, as well to industry as population: their numerous festivalsinure them to idleness; their religious houses rob the state of manysubjects who might be highly useful at present, and at the same timeretard the increase of the colony.
Sloth and superstition equally counterwork providence, and renderthe bounty of heaven of no effect.
I am surprized the French, who generally make their religionsubservient to the purposes of policy, do not discourage convents, andlessen the number of festivals, in the colonies, where both are sopeculiarly pernicious.
It is to this circumstance one may in great measure attribute thesuperior increase of the British American settlements compared tothose of France: a religion which encourages idleness, and makes avirtue of celibacy, is particularly unfavorable to colonization.
However religious prejudice may have been suffered to counterworkpolicy under a French government, it is scarce to be doubted that thiscause of the poverty of Canada will by degrees be removed; that thesepeople, slaves at present to ignorance and superstition, will in timebe enlightened by a more liberal education, and gently led by reason toa religion which is not only preferable, as being that of the countryto which they are now annexed, but which is so much more calculated tomake them happy and prosperous as a people.
Till that time, till their prejudices subside, it is equally just,humane, and wise, to leave them the free right of worshiping the Deityin the manner which they have been early taught to believe the best,and to which they are consequently attached.
It would be unjust to deprive them of any of the rights of citizenson account of religion, in America, where every other sect ofdissenters are equally capable of employ with those of the establishedchurch; nay where, from whatever cause, the church of England is on afooting in many colonies little better than a toleration.
It is undoubtedly, in a political light, an object of consequenceevery where, that the national religion, whatever it is, should be asuniversal as possible, agreement in religious worship being thestrongest tie to unity and obedience; had all prudent means been usedto lessen the number of dissenters in our colonies, I cannot avoidbelieving, from what I observe and hear, that we should have found inthem a spirit of rational loyalty, and true freedom, instead of thatfactious one from which so much is to be apprehended.
It seems consonant to reason, that the religion of every countryshould have a relation to, and coherence with, the civil constitution:the Romish religion is best adapted to a despotic government, thepresbyterian to a republican, and that of the church of England to alimited monarchy like ours.
As therefore the civil government of America is on the same planwith that of the mother country, it were to be wished the religiousestablishment was also the same, especially in those colonies where thepeople are generally of the national church; though with the fullestliberty of conscience to dissenters of all denominations.
I would be clearly understood, my Lord; from all I have observedhere, I am convinced, nothing would so much contribute to diffuse aspirit of order, and rational obedience, in the colonies, as theappointment, under proper restrictions, of bishops: I am equallyconvinced that nothing would so much strengthen the hands ofgovernment, or give such pleasure to the well-affected in the colonies,who are by much the most numerous, as such an appointment, howeverclamored against by a few abettors of sedition.
I am called upon for this letter, and must remit to another timewhat I wished to say more to your Lordship in regard to this country.
I have the honor to be, My Lord, &c. Wm. Fermor.
LETTER 118.
To Mrs. Melmoth, at Montreal.
Silleri, April 8.
I am indeed, Madam, this inconsistent creature. I have at oncerefused to marry Colonel Rivers, and owned to him all the tenderness ofmy soul.
Do not however think me mad, or suppose my refusal the effect of anunmeaning childish affectation of disinterestedness: I can form tomyself no idea of happiness equal to that of spending my life withRivers, the best, the most tender, the most amiable of mankind; nor canI support the idea of his marrying any other woman: I would thereforemarry him to-morrow were it possible without ruining him, withoutdooming him to a perpetual exile, and obstructing those views ofhonest ambition at home, which become his birth, his connexions, histalents, his time of life; and with which, as his friend, it is myduty to inspire him.
His affection for me at present blinds him, he sees no object but mein the whole universe; but shall I take advantage of that inebriationof tenderness, to seduce him into a measure inconsistent with his realhappiness and interest? He must return to England, must pursue fortunein that world for which he was formed: shall his Emily retard him inthe glorious race? shall she not rather encourage him in every laudableattempt? shall she suffer him to hide that shining merit in theuncultivated wilds of Canada, the seat of barbarism and ignorance,which entitles him to hope a happy fate in the dear land of arts andarms?
I entreat you to do all you can to discourage his design. Remind himthat his sister's marriage has in some degree removed the cause of hiscoming hither; that he can have now no motive for fixing here, but histenderness for me; that I shall be justly bl
amed by all who love himfor keeping him here. Tell him, I will not marry him in Canada; thathis stay makes the best mother in the world wretched; that he owes hisreturn to himself, nay to his Emily, whose whole heart is set on seeinghim in a situation worthy of him: though without ambition as to myself,I am proud, I am ambitious for him; if he loves me, he will gratifythat pride, that ambition; and leave Canada to those whose dutyconfines them here, or whose interest it is to remain unseen. Let himnot once think of me in his determination: I am content to be beloved,and will leave all else to time. You cannot so much oblige or serve me,as by persuading Colonel Rivers to return to England.
Believe me, my dear Madam, Your affectionate Emily Montague.
LETTER 119.
To Mrs. Temple, Pall Mall.
Silleri, April 9.
Your brother, my dear, is gone to Montreal to look out for asettlement, and Emily to spend a fortnight at Quebec, with a lady sheknew in England, who is lately arrived from thence by New York.
I am lost without my friend, though my lover endeavors in somedegree to supply her place; he lays close siege; I know not how long Ishall be able to hold out: this fine weather is exceedingly in hisfavor; the winter freezes up all the avenues to the heart; but thissprightly April sun thaws them again amazingly. I was the cruellestcreature breathing whilst the chilly season lasted, but can answer fornothing now the sprightly May is approaching.
I can see papa is vastly in Fitzgerald's interest; but he knows oursex well enough to keep this to himself.