You cannot surely have been influenced by any motive relative to ourfortune; no idle tale can have made you retract a promise, whichrendered me the happiest of mankind: if I have your heart, I am richerthan an oriental monarch.
Short as life is, my dearest girl, is it of consequence what part weplay in it? is wealth at all essential to happiness?
The tender affections are the only sources of true pleasure; thehighest, the most respectable titles, in the eye of reason, are thetender ones of friend, of husband, and of father: it is from the dearsoft ties of social love your Rivers expects his felicity.
You have but one way, my dear Emily, to convince me of yourtenderness: I shall set off for Rose-hill in twelve hours; you mustgive me your hand the moment I arrive, or confess your Rivers was neverdear to you.
Write, and send a servant instantly to meet me at my mother's housein town: I cannot support the torment of suspense.
There is not on earth so wretched a being as I am at this moment; Inever knew till now to what excess I loved: you must be mine, my Emily,or I must cease to live.
LETTER 189.
To Captain Fitzgerald, Rose-hill, Berkshire.
Bellfield, Sept. 20.
All I feared has certainly happened; Emily has undoubtedly heard ofthis proposal, and, from a parade of generosity, a generosity howeverinconsistent with love, wishes to postpone our marriage till myrelation arrives.
I am hurt beyond words, at the manner in which she has wrote to meon this subject; I have, in regard to Sir George, experienced thatthese are not the sentiments of a heart truly enamored.
I therefore fear this romantic step is the effect of a coldness ofwhich I thought her incapable; and that her affection is only a morelively degree of friendship, with which, I will own to you, my heartwill not be satisfied.
I would engross, I would employ, I would absorb, every faculty ofthat lovely mind.
I have too long suffered prudence to delay my happiness: I cannotlonger live without her: if she loves me, I shall on Tuesday call hermine.
Adieu! I shall be with you almost as soon as this letter.
Your affectionate Ed. Rivers.
LETTER 190.
To Colonel Rivers, Clarges Street.
Rose-hill, Sept. 21.
Is it then possible? can my Rivers doubt his Emily's tenderness?
Do I only esteem you, my Rivers? can my eyes have so ill explainedthe feelings of my heart?
You accuse me of not sharing your impatience: do you then allownothing to the modesty, the blushing delicacy, of my sex?
Could you see into my soul, you would cease to call me cold andinsensible.
Can you forget, my Rivers, those moments, when, doubtful of thesentiments of your heart, mine every instant betrayed its weakness?when every look spoke the resistless fondness of my soul! when, lost inthe delight of seeing you, I forgot I was almost the wife of another?
But I will say no more; my Rivers tells me I have already said toomuch: he is displeased with his Emily's tenderness; he complains, thatI tell him too often I love him.
You say I can give but one certain proof of my affection.
I will give you that proof: I will be yours whenever you please,though ruin should be the consequence to both; I despise every otherconsideration, when my Rivers's happiness is at stake: is there anyrequest he is capable of making, which his Emily will refuse?
You are the arbiter of my fate: I have no will but yours; yet Ientreat you to believe no common cause could have made me hazard givinga moment's pain to that dear bosom: you will one time know to whatexcess I have loved you.
Were the empire of the world or your affection offered me, I shouldnot hesitate one moment on the choice, even were I certain never to seeyou more.
I cannot form an idea of happiness equal to that of being beloved bythe most amiable of mankind.
Judge then, if I would lightly wish to defer an event, which is togive me the transport of passing my life in the dear employment ofmaking him happy.
I only entreat that you will decline asking me, till I judge properto tell you, why I first begged our marriage might be deferred: let itbe till then forgot I ever made such a request.
You will not, my dear Rivers, refuse this proof of complaisance toher who too plainly shews she can refuse you nothing.
Adieu! Yours, Emily Montague.
LETTER 191.
To Miss Montague, Rose-hill, Berkshire.
Clarges Street, Sept. 21, Two o'clock.
Can you, my angel, forgive my insolent impatience, and attribute itto the true cause, excess of love?
Could I be such a monster as to blame my sweet Emily's dearexpressions of tenderness? I hate myself for being capable of writingsuch a letter.
Be assured, I will strictly comply with all she desires: whatcondition is there on which I would not make the loveliest of womenmine?
I will follow the servant in two hours; I shall be at Rose-hill byeight o'clock.
Adieu! my dearest Emily! Your faithful Ed. Rivers.
LETTER 192.
To John Temple, Esq; Temple-house, Rutland.
Sept. 21, Nine at night.
The loveliest of women has consented to make me happy: sheremonstrated, she doubted; but her tenderness conquered all herreluctance. To-morrow I shall call her mine.
We shall set out immediately for your house, where we hope to be thenext day to dinner: you will therefore postpone your journey to town aweek, at the end of which we intend going to Bellfield. Captain Fermorand Mrs. Fitzgerald accompany us down. Emily's relation, Mrs. H----, hasbusiness which prevents her; and Fitzgerald is obliged to stay anothermonth in town, to transact the affair of his majority.
Never did Emily look so lovely as this evening: there is a sweetconfusion, mixed with tenderness, in her whole look and manner, whichis charming beyond all expression.
Adieu! I have not a moment to spare: even this absence from her istreason to love. Say every thing for me to my mother and Lucy.
Yours, Ed. Rivers.
LETTER 193.
To John Temple, Esq. Temple-house, Rutland.
Rose-hill, Sept. 22, Ten o'clock.
She is mine, my dear Temple; and I am happy almost above mortality.
I cannot paint to you her loveliness; the grace, the dignity, themild majesty of her air, is softened by a smile like that of angels:her eyes have a tender sweetness, her cheeks a blush of refinedaffection, which must be seen to be imagined.
I envy Captain Fermor the happiness of being in the same chaise withher; I shall be very bad company to Bell, who insists on my being hercecisbeo for the journey.
Adieu! The chaises are at the door.
Your affectionate Ed. Rivers.
LETTER 194.
To Captain Fitzgerald.
Temple-house, Sept. 29.
I regret your not being with us, more than I can express.
I would have every friend I love a witness of my happiness.
I thought my tenderness for Emily as great as man could feel, yetfind it every moment increase; every moment she is more dear to mysoul.
The angel delicacy of that lovely mind is inconceivable; had she noother charm, I should adore her: what a lustre does modesty throw roundbeauty!
We remove to-morrow to Bellfield: I am impatient to see my sweetgirl in her little empire: I am tired of the continual crowd in whichwe live at Temple's: I would not pass the life he does for all hisfortune; I sigh for the power of spending my time as I please, for thedear shades of retirement and friendship.
How little do mankind know their own happiness! every pleasure wortha wish is in the power of almost all mankind.
Blind to true joy, ever engaged in a wild pursuit of what is alwaysin our power, anxious for that wealth which we falsely imaginenecessary to our enjoyments, we suffer our best hours to passtastelessly away; we neglect the pleasures which are suited to ournatures; and, intent on ideal sche
mes of establishments at which wenever arrive, let the dear hours of social delight escape us.
Hasten to us, my dear Fitzgerald: we want only you, to fill ourlittle circle of friends.
Your affectionate Ed. Rivers.
LETTER 195.
To Captain Fitzgerald.
Bellfield, Oct. 3.
What delight is there in obliging those we love!
My heart dilated with joy at seeing Emily pleased with the littleembellishments of her apartment, which I had made as gay and smilingas the morn; it looked, indeed, as if the hand of love had adorned it:she has a dressing room and closet of books, into which I shall neverintrude: there is a pleasure in having some place which we can say ispeculiarly our own, some _sanctum sanctorum_, whither we canretire even from those most dear to us.
This is a pleasure in which I have been indulged almost frominfancy, and therefore one of the first I thought of procuring for mysweet Emily.
I told her I should, however, sometimes expect to be amongst herguests in this little retirement.
Her look, her tender smile, the speaking glance of grateful love,gave me a transport, which only minds turned to affection can conceive.I never, my dear Fitzgerald, was happy before: the attachment I oncementioned was pleasing; but I felt a regret, at knowing the object ofmy tenderness had forfeited the good opinion of the world, whichembittered all my happiness.
She possessed my esteem, because I knew her heart; but I wanted tosee her esteemed by others.
With Emily I enjoy this pleasure in its utmost extent: she is theadoration of all who see her; she is equally admired, esteemed,respected.
She seems to value the admiration she excites, only as it appears togratify the pride of her lover; what transport, when all eyes are fixedon her, to see her searching around for mine, and attentive to no otherobject, as if insensible to all other approbation!
I enjoy the pleasures of friendship as well as those of love: wereyou here, my dear Fitzgerald, we should be the happiest groupe on theglobe; but all Bell's sprightliness cannot preserve her from an air ofchagrin in your absence.
Come as soon as possible, my dear friend, and leave us nothing towish for.
Adieu! Your affectionate Ed. Rivers.
LETTER 196.
To Colonel Rivers, Bellfield, Rutland.
London, Oct. 8.
You are very cruel, my dear Rivers, to tantalize me with yourpictures of happiness.
Notwithstanding this spite, I am sorry I must break in on yourgroupe of friends; but it is absolutely necessary for Bell and myfather to return immediately to town, in order to settle some familybusiness, previous to my purchase of the majority.
Indeed, I am not very fond of letting Bell stay long amongst you;for she gives me such an account of your attention and complaisance toMrs. Rivers, that I am afraid she will think me a careless fellow whenwe meet again.
You seem in the high road, not only to spoil your own wife, but minetoo; which it is certainly my affair to prevent.
Say every thing for me to the ladies of your family.
Adieu! Your affectionate J. Fitzgerald.
LETTER 197.
To Captain Fitzgerald.
Bellfield, Oct. 10.
You are a malicious fellow, Fitzgerald, and I am half inclined tokeep the sweet Bell by force; take all the men away if you please, butI cannot bear the loss of a woman, especially of such a woman.
If I was not more a lover than a husband, I am not sure I should notwish to take my revenge.
To make me happy, you must place me in a circle of females, all aspleasing as those now with me, and turn every male creature out of thehouse.
I am a most intolerable monopolizer of the sex; in short, I havevery little relish for any conversation but theirs: I love their sweetprattle beyond all the sense and learning in the world.
Not that I would insinuate they have less understanding than we, orare less capable of learning, or even that it less becomes them.
On the contrary, all such knowledge as tends to adorn and softenhuman life and manners, is, in my opinion, peculiarly becoming inwomen.
You don't deserve a longer letter.
Adieu! Yours, Ed. Rivers.
LETTER 198.
To Mrs. Fitzgerald.
Bellfield, Oct. 12.
I am very conscious, my dear Bell, of not meriting the praises myRivers lavishes on me, yet the pleasure I receive from them is not theless lively for that consideration; on the contrary, the less I deservethese praises, the more flattering they are to me, as the strongerproofs of his love; of that love which gives ideal charms, whichadorns, which embellishes its object.
I had rather be lovely in his eyes, than in those of all mankind;or, to speak more exactly, if I continue to please him, the admirationof all the world is indifferent to me: it is for his sake alone I wishfor beauty, to justify the dear preference he has given me.
How pleasing are these sweet shades! were they less so, my Rivers'spresence would give them every charm: every object has appeared to memore lovely since the dear moment when I first saw him; I seem to haveacquired a new existence from his tenderness.
You say true, my dear Bell: heaven doubtless formed us to be happy,even in this world; and we obey its dictates in being so, when we canwithout encroaching on the happiness of others.
This lesson is, I think, plain from the book providence has spreadbefore us: the whole universe smiles, the earth is clothed in livelycolors, the animals are playful, the birds sing: in being chearful withinnocence, we seem to conform to the order of nature, and the will ofthat beneficent Power to whom we owe our being.
If the Supreme Creator had meant us to be gloomy, he would, it seemsto me, have clothed the earth in black, not in that lively green, whichis the livery of chearfulness and joy.
I am called away.
Adieu! my dearest Bell. Your faithful Emily Rivers.
LETTER 199.
To Captain Fitzgerald.
Bellfield, Oct. 14.
You flatter me most agreably, my dear Fitzgerald, by praising Emily;I want you to see her again; she is every hour more charming: I amastonished any man can behold her without love.
Yet, lovely as she is, her beauty is her least merit; the finestunderstanding, the most pleasing kind of knowledge; tenderness,sensibility, modesty, and truth, adorn her almost with rays ofdivinity.
She has, beyond all I ever saw in either sex, the polish of theworld, without having lost that sweet simplicity of manner, thatunaffected innocence, and integrity of heart, which are so very apt toevaporate in a crowd.
I ride out often alone, in order to have the pleasure of returningto her: these little absences give new spirit to our tenderness. Everycare forsakes me at the sight of this temple of real love; my sweetEmily meets me with smiles; her eyes brighten when I approach; shereceives my friends with the most lively pleasure, because they are myfriends; I almost envy them her attention, though given for my sake.
Elegant in her dress and house, she is all transport when any littleornament of either pleases me; but what charms me most, is hertenderness for my mother, in whose heart she rivals both me and Lucy.
My happiness, my friend, is beyond every idea I had formed; were I alittle richer, I should not have a wish remaining. Do not, however,imagine this wish takes from my felicity.
I have enough for myself, I have even enough for Emily; love makesus indifferent to the parade of life.
But I have not enough to entertain my friends as I wish, nor toenjoy the god-like pleasure of beneficence.
We shall be obliged, in order to support the little appearancenecessary to our connexions, to give an attention rather too strict toour affairs; even this, however, our affection for each other will makeeasy to us.
My whole soul is so taken up with this charming woman, I am afraid Ishall become tedious even to you; I must learn to restrain mytenderness, and write on common subjects.
> I am more and more pleased with the way of life I have chose; and,were my fortune ever so large, would pass the greatest part of the yearin the country: I would only enlarge my house, and fill it withfriends.
My situation is a very fine one, though not like the magnificentscenes to which we have been accustomed in Canada: the house stands onthe sunny side of a hill, at the foot of which, the garden intervening,runs a little trout stream, which to the right seems to be lost in anisland of oziers, and over which is a rustic bridge into a verybeautiful meadow, where at present graze a numerous flock of sheep.
Emily is planning a thousand embellishments for the garden, and willnext year make it a wilderness of sweets, a paradise worthy its lovelyinhabitant: she is already forming walks and flowery arbors in thewood, and giving the whole scene every charm which taste, at littleexpence, can bestow.
I, on my side, am selecting spots for plantations of trees; andmean, like a good citizen, to serve at once myself and the public, byraising oaks, which may hereafter bear the British thunder to distantlands.
I believe we country gentlemen, whilst we have spirit to keepourselves independent, are the best citizens, as well as subjects, inthe world.
Happy ourselves, we wish not to destroy the tranquillity of others;intent on cares equally useful and pleasing, with no views but toimprove our fortunes by means equally profitable to ourselves and toour country, we form no schemes of dishonest ambition; and thereforedisturb no government to serve our private designs.