I have been making the tour of the three religions this morning,and, as I am the most constant creature breathing; am come back only athousand times more pleased with my own. I have been at mass, atchurch, and at the presbyterian meeting: an idea struck me at the last,in regard to the drapery of them all; that the Romish religion is likean over-dressed, tawdry, rich citizen's wife; the presbyterian like arude aukward country girl; the church of England like an elegantwell-dressed woman of quality, "plain in her neatness" (to quoteHorace, who is my favorite author). There is a noble, gracefulsimplicity both in the worship and the ceremonies of the church ofEngland, which, even if I were a stranger to her doctrines, wouldprejudice me strongly in her favor.
Sir George sets out for Montreal this evening, so do the house ofMelmoth; I have however prevailed on Emily to stay a month or twolonger with me. I am rejoiced Sir George is going away; I am tired ofseeing that eternal smile, that countenance of his, which attempts tospeak, and says nothing. I am in doubt whether I shall let Emily marryhim; she will die in a week, of no distemper but his conversation.
They dine with us. I am called down. Adieu!
Eight at night.
Heaven be praised, our lover is gone; they parted with greatphilosophy on both sides: they are the prettiest mild pair ofinamoratoes one shall see.
Your brother's servant has just called to tell me he is going to hismaster. I have a great mind to answer his letter, and order him back.
LETTER 34.
To Miss Rivers, Clarges Street.
Oct. 12.
I have been looking at the estate Madame Des Roches has to sell; itis as wild as the lands to which I have a right; I hoped this wouldhave amused my chagrin, but am mistaken: nothing interests me, nothingtakes up my attention one moment: my mind admits but one idea. Thischarming woman follows me wherever I go; I wander about like the firstman when driven out of paradise: I vainly fancy every change of placewill relieve the anxiety of my mind.
Madame Des Roches smiles, and tells me I am in love; 'tis however asmile of tenderness and compassion: your sex have great penetration inwhatever regards the heart.
Oct. 13.
I have this moment a letter from Miss Fermor, to press my return toQuebec; she tells me, Emily's marriage is postponed till spring. MyLucy! how weak is the human heart! In spite of myself, a ray ofhope--I set off this instant: I cannot conceal my joy.
LETTER 35.
To Colonel Rivers, at Quebec.
London, July 23.
You have no idea, Ned, how much your absence is lamented by thedowagers, to whom, it must be owned, your charity has been prettyextensive.
It would delight you to see them condoling with each other on theloss of the dear charming man, the man of sentiment, of true taste, whoadmires the maturer beauties, and thinks no woman worth pursuing tillturned of twenty-five: 'tis a loss not to be made up; for your taste,it must be owned, is pretty singular.
I have seen your last favorite, Lady H----, who assures me, on theword of a woman of honour, that, had you staid seven years in London,she does not think she should have had the least inclination to change:but an absent lover, she well observed, is, properly speaking, no loverat all. "Bid Colonel Rivers remember," said she, "what I have readsomewhere, the parting words of a French lady to a bishop of heracquaintance, Let your absence be short, my lord; and remember that amistress is a benefice which obliges to residence."
I am told, you had not been gone a week before Jack Willmott had thehonor of drying up the fair widow's tears.
I am going this evening to Vauxhall, and to-morrow propose settingout for my house in Rutland, from whence you shall hear from me again.
Adieu! I never write long letters in London. I should tell you, Ihave been to see Mrs. Rivers and your sister; the former is well, butvery anxious to have you in England again; the latter grows so veryhandsome, I don't intend to repeat my visits often.
Yours, J. Temple.
LETTER 36.
To John Temple, Esq; Pall Mall.
Quebec, Oct. 14.
I am this moment arrived from a ramble down the river; but, a shipbeing just going, must acknowledge your last.
You make me happy in telling me my dear Lady H---- has given my placein her heart to so honest a fellow as Jack Willmott; and I sincerelywish the ladies always chose their favorites as well.
I should be very unreasonable indeed to expect constancy at almostfour thousand miles distance, especially when the prospect of my returnis so very uncertain.
My voyage ought undoubtedly to be considered as an abdication: I amto all intents and purposes dead in law as a lover; and the lady hasa right to consider her heart as vacant, and to proceed to a newelection.
I claim no more than a share in her esteem and remembrance, which Idare say I shall never want.
That I have amused myself a little in the dowager way, I am very farfrom denying; but you will observe, it was less from taste than theprinciple of doing as little mischief as possible in my few excursionsto the world of gallantry. A little deviation from the exact rule ofright we men all allow ourselves in love affairs; but I was willing tokeep as near it as I could. Married women are, on my principles,forbidden fruit; I abhor the seduction of innocence; I am toodelicate, and (with all my modesty) too vain, to be pleased with venalbeauty: what was I then to do, with a heart too active to be absolutelyat rest, and which had not met with its counterpart? Widows were, Ithought, fair prey, as being sufficiently experienced to take care ofthemselves.
I have said married women are, on my principles, forbidden fruit: Ishould have explained myself; I mean in England, for my ideas on thishead change as soon as I land at Calais.
Such is the amazing force of local prejudice, that I do notrecollect having ever made love to an English married woman, or aFrench unmarried one. Marriages in France being made by the parents,and therefore generally without inclination on either side, gallantryseems to be a tacit condition, though not absolutely expressed in thecontract.
But to return to my plan: I think it an excellent one; and wouldrecommend it to all those young men about town, who, like me, find intheir hearts the necessity of loving, before they meet with an objectcapable of fixing them for life.
By the way, I think the widows ought to raise a statue to my honor,for having done my _possible_ to prove that, for the sake ofdecorum, morals, and order, they ought to have all the men tothemselves.
I have this moment your letter from Rutland. Do you know I am almostangry? Your ideas of love are narrow and pedantic; custom has doneenough to make the life of one half of our species tasteless; but youwould reduce them to a state of still greater insipidity than even thatto which our tyranny has doomed them.
You would limit the pleasure of loving and being beloved, and thecharming power of pleasing, to three or four years only in the life ofthat sex which is peculiarly formed to feel tenderness; women are bornwith more lively affections than men, which are still more softened byeducation; to deny them the privilege of being amiable, the onlyprivilege we allow them, as long as nature continues them so, is such amixture of cruelty and false taste as I should never have suspected youof, notwithstanding your partiality for unripened beauty.
As to myself, I persist in my opinion, that women are most charmingwhen they join the attractions of the mind to those of the person, whenthey feel the passion they inspire; or rather, that they are nevercharming till then.
A woman in the first bloom of youth resembles a tree in blossom;when mature, in fruit: but a woman who retains the charms of her persontill her understanding is in its full perfection, is like those treesin happier climes, which produce blossoms and fruit together.
You will scarce believe, Jack, that I have lived a week _tete atete_, in the midst of a wood, with just the woman I have beendescribing; a widow extremely my taste, _mature_, five or sixyears more so than you say I require, lively, sensible, handsome,without saying one civil thing to her; yet nothing can be more certain.
/> I could give you powerful reasons for my insensibility; but you area traitor to love, and therefore have no right to be in any of hissecrets.
I will excuse your visits to my sister; as well as I love youmyself, I have a thousand reasons for chusing she should not beacquainted with you.
What you say in regard to my mother, gives me pain; I will nevertake back my little gift to her; and I cannot live in England on mypresent income, though it enables me to live _en prince_ inCanada.
Adieu! I have not time to say more. I have stole this half hour fromthe loveliest woman breathing, whom I am going to visit: surely you areinfinitely obliged to me. To lessen the obligation, however, my calashis not yet come to the door.
Adieu! once more. Yours, Ed. Rivers.
LETTER 37.
To Miss Rivers, Clarges Street.
Silleri, Oct. 15.
Our wanderer is returned, my dear, and in such spirits as you can'tconceive: he passed yesterday with us; he likes to have us to himself,and he had yesterday; we walked _a trio_ in the wood, and werefoolish; I have not passed so agreable a day since I came to Canada: Ilove mightily to be foolish, and the people here have no taste that wayat all: your brother is divinely so upon occasion. The weather was, touse the Canadian phrase, _superbe et magnifique_. We shall not, Iam told, have much more in the same _magnifique_ style, so weintend to make the most of it: I have ordered your brother to come andwalk with us from morning till night; every day and all the day.
The dear man was amazingly overjoyed to see us again; we shared inhis joy, though my little Emily took some pains to appear tranquil onthe occasion: I never saw more pleasure in the countenances of twopeople in my life, nor more pains taken to suppress it.
Do you know Fitzgerald is really an agreable fellow? I have anadmirable natural instinct; I perceived he had understanding, from hisaquiline nose and his eagle eye, which are indexes I never knew fail. Ibelieve we are going to be great; I am not sure I shall not admit himto make up a _partie quarree_ with your brother and Emily: I toldhim my original plot upon him, and he was immensely pleased with it. Ialmost fancy he can be foolish; in that case, my business is done: ifwith his other merits he has that, I am a lost woman.
He has excellent sense, great good nature, and the true princelyspirit of an Irishman: he will be ruined here, but that is his affair,not mine. He changed quarters with an officer now at Montreal; and,because the lodgings were to be furnished, thought himself obliged toleave three months wine in the cellars.
His person is pleasing; he has good eyes and teeth (the onlybeauties I require), is marked with the small pox, which in men gives asensible look; very manly, and looks extremely like a gentleman.
He comes, the conqueror comes.
I see him plainly through the trees; he is now in full view, withintwenty yards of the house. He looks particularly well on horseback,Lucy; which is one certain proof of a good education. The fellow iswell born, and has ideas of things: I think I shall admit him of mytrain.
Emily wonders I have never been in love: the cause is clear; I haveprevented any attachment to one man, by constantly flirting withtwenty: 'tis the most sovereign receipt in the world. I think too, mydear, you have maintained a sort of running fight with the littledeity: our hour is not yet come. Adieu!
Yours, A. Fermor.
LETTER 38.
To Miss Rivers, Clarges Street.
Quebec, Oct. 15, evening.
I am returned, my dear, and have had the pleasure of hearing you andmy mother are well, though I have had no letters from either of you.
Mr. Temple, my dearest Lucy, tells me he has visited you. Will youpardon me a freedom which nothing but the most tender friendship canwarrant, when I tell you that I would wish you to be as littleacquainted with him as politeness allows? He is a most agreable man,perhaps too agreable, with a thousand amiable qualities; he is the manI love above all others; and, where women are not concerned, a man ofthe most unblemished honor: but his manner of life is extremelylibertine, and his ideas of women unworthy the rest of his character;he knows not the perfections which adorn the valuable part of yoursex, he is a stranger to your virtues, and incapable, at least I fearso, of that tender affection which alone can make an amiable womanhappy. With all this, he is polite and attentive, and has a manner,which, without intending it, is calculated to deceive women into anopinion of his being attached when he is not: he has all the splendidvirtues which command esteem; is noble, generous, disinterested, open,brave; and is the most dangerous man on earth to a woman of honor, whois unacquainted with the arts of man.
Do not however mistake me, my Lucy; I know him to be as incapableof forming improper designs on you, even were you not the sister of hisfriend, as you are of listening to him if he did: 'tis for your heartalone I am alarmed; he is formed to please; you are young andinexperienced, and have not yet loved; my anxiety for your peace makesme dread your loving a man whose views are not turned to marriage, andwho is therefore incapable of returning properly the tenderness of awoman of honor.
I have seen my divine Emily: her manner of receiving me was veryflattering; I cannot doubt her friendship for me; yet I am notabsolutely content. I am however convinced, by the easy tranquillity ofher air, and her manner of bearing this delay of their marriage, thatshe does not love the man for whom she is intended: she has been avictim to the avarice of her friends. I would fain hope--yet whathave I to hope? If I had even the happiness to be agreable to her, ifshe was disengaged from Sir George, my fortune makes it impossible forme to marry her, without reducing her to indigence at home, or doomingher to be an exile in Canada for life. I dare not ask myself what Iwish or intend: yet I give way in spite of me to the delight of seeingand conversing with her.
I must not look forward; I will only enjoy the present pleasure ofbelieving myself one of the first in her esteem and friendship, and ofshewing her all those little pleasing attentions so dear to a sensibleheart; attentions in which her _lover_ is astonishingly remiss: heis at Montreal, and I am told was gay and happy on his journey thither,though he left his mistress behind.
I have spent two very happy days at Silleri, with Emily and yourfriend Bell Fermor: to-morrow I meet them at the governor's, wherethere is a very agreable assembly on Thursday evenings. Adieu!
Yours, Ed. Rivers.
I shall write again by a ship which sails next week.
LETTER 39.
To John Temple, Esq; Pall Mall.
Quebec, Oct. 18.
I have this moment a letter from Madame Des Roches, the lady atwhose house I spent a week, and to whom I am greatly obliged. I am sohappy as to have an opportunity of rendering her a service, in which Imust desire your assistance.
'Tis in regard to some lands belonging to her, which, not beingsettled, some other person has applied for a grant of at home. I sendyou the particulars, and beg you will lose no time in entering a_caveat_, and taking other proper steps to prevent what would be anact of great injustice: the war and the incursions of the Indians inalliance with us have hitherto prevented these lands from beingsettled, but Madame Des Roches is actually in treaty with some Acadiansto settle them immediately. Employ all your friends as well as mine ifnecessary; my lawyer will direct you in what manner to apply, and paythe expences attending the application. Adieu!
Yours, Ed. Rivers.
LETTER 40.
To Miss Rivers, Clarges Street.
Silleri, Oct. 20.
I danced last night till four o'clock in the morning (if you willallow the expression), without being the least fatigued: the littleFitzgerald was my partner, who grows upon me extremely; the monkey hasa way of being attentive and careless by turns, which has an amazingeffect; nothing attaches a woman of my temper so much to a lover as herbeing a little in fear of losing him; and he keeps up the spirit of thething admirably.
Your brother and Emily danced together, and I think I never saweither of them look so handsome; she was a thousand
times more admiredat this ball than the first, and reason good, for she was a thousandtimes more agreable; your brother is really a charming fellow, he isan immense favorite with the ladies; he has that very pleasing generalattention, which never fails to charm women; he can even be particularto one, without wounding the vanity of the rest: if he was in companywith twenty, his mistress of the number, his manner would be such, thatevery woman there would think herself the second in his esteem; andthat, if his heart had not been unluckily pre-engaged, she herselfshould have been the object of his tenderness.
His eyes are of immense use to him; he looks the civilest thingsimaginable; his whole countenance speaks whatever he wishes to say; hehas the least occasion for words to explain himself of any man I everknew.
Fitzgerald has eyes too, I assure you, and eyes that know how tospeak; he has a look of saucy unconcern and inattention, which isreally irresistible.
We have had a great deal of snow already, but it melts away; 'tis alovely day, but an odd enough mixture of summer and winter; in someplaces you see half a foot of snow lying, in others the dust is eventroublesome.
Adieu! there are a dozen or two of beaux at the door.