Chapter 14
Being a royal hot water bottle can, as it did in the case of Archie and Terri, involve unfortunate happenings including being lost for a time in New Zealand due to the failure of the royal's minders to adequately appreciate the importance of said hot water bottle and cover to their royal charge.
In the case of Crystal's hot water bottle and cover, the accident that had injured her and the haste of her removal to Australia led to an unusual failure in the royal support machine. It was regrettable and, given the importance placed on their being found and returned, unlikely to be repeated.
It was now law in the Palace that Crystal's hot water bottle and cover were sacrosanct. Great care would be taken with them in future, as soon as they were back, of course. No effort was to be spared in ensuring they were accounted for on any occasion they were taken from the Palace.
Archie and Terri had no idea they had risen to such a place of importance. During their time of loss they had felt, with some justification, feelings of abandonment but also powerlessness. They were helpless to help themselves which lowered Archie's self-esteem. His duty was to serve and he felt it keenly that he could not. Terri comforted him as well as she could but Archie also felt some guilt over Terri's ill treatment.
However, when the royal rescue team arrives, it comes in style.
A smartly dressed gentleman from the British Embassy in Wellington, New Zealand received Archie and Terri from a courier despatched specifically to collect them from Queenstown. The courier had been flown to the South Island, driven to the house and handed a now carefully wrapped hot water bottle and cover from their saviour, the Ambassador's housekeeper. She received a very nice bunch of exotic flowers for her trouble. Overwhelmed, she watched the courier carry his parcel to a waiting Range Rover which went immediately to the airport and a waiting flight to Wellington.
The diplomatic pouch left the Wellington Embassy each afternoon. Normally a package for the Palace would go into the pouch with the usual mail. However, that was not good enough for Archie and Terri who were placed in a lined box which was then sealed, labelled 'fragile, priotised for HMQ, to be hand delivered to the Palace.' They travelled in a first class seat next to their minder, a member of Special Branch. Again they missed out on a movie during the flight but they did enjoy the luxury of the box and the privacy it afforded them.
Their mistreatment and separation in the Queenstown house had affected them deeply. The now mended rents in Terri's back were reminders to Archie of their dreadful experience whenever he touched her. How could he prevent her being injured again? As for himself, his bruises had faded and were now an ugly yellow, the last stage before they disappeared. But the memories hadn't yet faded.
Both longed for their normal life with Crystal at the Palace to be restored. Had they known the extent of Jeff's efforts to recover them they would have been embarrassed that he had taken so much trouble, but for the moment they were content to be returning home.
Although he had recovered Archie and Terri Jeff still had a lot on his mind: Richard Holland, who was now spending the odd night at the palace. Crystal was mending fast and spending most days out of bed. She was still holding her broken ribs which remained painful but she was feeling much better. Well enough, Jeff observed, to resume enjoying Richard in her bed. Richard was extremely gentle and undemanding. His consideration moved Crystal deeply.
Being a careful man Jeff decided to do some investigation of Richard's circumstances personally. He would see for himself and then provide his advice to Her Majesty and Crystal.
His information was Richard would, that evening, be in a particular public place where Jeff could observe the activity that was causing him so much concern. That Richard would take the risk of being recognised in such a situation amazed Jeff, and he was not easily amazed. If he was prepared to expose himself in such a way Jeff felt he should confirm this high risk behaviour himself. Jeff was not looking forward to his evening.
The return of Archie and Terri to the Palace was treated by the household staff as something of an event. Such a fuss had been made about their loss that when their personal courier arrived he was shown directly to the small sitting room where he handed over his charge to a grateful monarch.
The courier's flight had been delayed; it was nearly midnight when Her Majesty carried the box containing Archie and Terri to Crystal's room. Crystal had been up that day, tired herself out and been put to bed before dinner.
'Nevertheless,' her grandmother thought, 'I'll take this to her and leave it for the morning. I won't disturb her if she's asleep.' Her Majesty opened Crystal's bedroom door and went in without a thought.
The scene she encountered in the softly lit room was such that Her Majesty, after placing the box on a chair, immediately withdrew without saying a word. Crystal and Richard could only look at each other in horror before Richard dressed and left, nearly running to the stairs.
In her bed Crystal pulled the covers over her head and screeched as in days of old. Archie and Terri heard it,
'What's happened?' Archie whispered, 'She only does that when she doesn't get her way.'
'I expect she's had some kind of argument but I didn't hear anything did you?'
Archie could only shake his head. Their box, which had the advantage of being able to see, gave them a concise account. Terri wanted to laugh but Archie put his finger to his lips,
'She'll hear you.' Archie said,
'No she can't,' and tried without success to hold in great gasps of laughter. Archie wondered if it was really a laughing matter. Hearing Terri snorting with laughter everything in the room woke up and began muttering amongst themselves.
What the box related to them was pretty sensational. He told them Crystal had been lying in bed giggling while Richard danced about the room wearing her nightie. The garment was short and sheer, leaving nothing to the imagination. A full length mirror stood near the window and, as the door opened Richard was twirling in front of it, the nightie flying above his naked hips and legs. Her Majesty must, to put it in the vernacular, have got an eyeful.
Jeff had spent the evening out. As planned he positioned himself where he could see Richard 'relaxing.'
'Some relaxation,' Jeff thought, 'He must be mad,' sure he would know Richard in the dim light as he'd been told what to look for. Still he was surprised when Richard came into view.
His slim build and height were unmistakable. The rest was disguised with such artistry Jeff couldn't help but be impressed. Now a platinum blonde with long layers trailing over bare shoulders, Richard strutted from the back of the stage in four inch heels and a long shimmering clinging frock in gold tissue split to the thigh. The mainly male crowd in the nightclub cheered, clapped and stamped their feet as he started his performance.
Obviously the star of what Jeff could see was a very good drag show, Richard could dance and mimed his Shirley Bassey number with some aplomb. Despite all of the difficulties that were to follow the confirmation of Richard's double life, Jeff couldn't help but enjoy the show.
Afterwards he drove himself home and over a large whisky, no ice, he tried to put together a report he could deliver at the Palace. The problem, as Jeff saw it, was Richard wasn't doing anything illegal, he was just being embarrassing. If the media got hold of the information that Her Majesty's granddaughter was sleeping with a drag queen they'd jump to the conclusion he was gay, promiscuous and spin it so he was a threat to national security. He'd be exploited.
'Nothing like a royal scandal to sell newspapers and television advertising,' Jeff said to himself.
As far as Jeff was concerned if Richard wanted to dress as a woman and perform in a nightclub with a gay clientele that was fine but he had to tell Crystal, she was entitled to know. With that decided he went to sleep and dreamt of Crystal jumping off a high bridge, a silk ribbon dangling from her waist. Jeff tried to catch it as she fell but it kept slipping through his fingers. He woke up in fright just before dawn, his finge
rs gripping the sheet.
The next morning Jeff's phone rang early, before his alarm which wasn't a good start to the day. Early and late calls at home meant something had happened and as he listened to his superior shouting down the line his suspicions were confirmed: he was wanted at the Palace to see Her Majesty now. Things continued on a downward spiral when her Majesty's private secretary met him at the courtyard door,
'Her Majesty is expecting you, please don't keep her waiting.'
The walk upstairs and along the wide gallery was long. Staff who usually said good morning were silent, only giving Jeff a slight nod if he managed to catch their eye. So there was trouble. Jeff suspected it was to do with Crystal and he was right. Jeff's superior was waiting outside; they went in together. They were not asked to sit down.
'Constable Davis, I am concerned about my granddaughter.'
'Yes Ma'am.' Jeff waited. 'She must know,' he thought, 'She's heard about the drag show.'
Her Majesty looked at him steadily, 'My granddaughter is seeing young Holland, in her room... at night.'
Jeff let out a sigh, 'Yes Ma'am, she is.'
'So you know about it?'
'Yes Ma'am, the relationship started just before Cry... Her Royal Highness left for New Zealand. They began seeing each other again recently.'
Her Majesty stood up and walked to the fireplace where she stirred the fire.
'Constable... Holland....is he...? You have made the usual enquiries?'
'Yes, we have. Are you concerned he is not someone Crystal should be involved with?'
'Yes, I ask because last night he was here and I saw...well it doesn't matter but...' Her Majesty looked Jeff in the eye. 'Is he a transvestite?'
The bluntness of the question made Jeff's superior rock back on his heels as though he'd been struck. He had no idea why she would ask such a question. Jeff couldn't imagine what had happened but Richard must have come to the Palace immediately after the show.
'He wouldn't have come in drag, would he?' Jeff dismissed the awful thought: 'The duty guys would have called me. No, it wasn't that.' He had to answer and he couldn't ask anything more,
'Ma'am, he may well be. He performs in a high class drag show at a club called Le Pierrot. I went there last night. He's known as Desiree on stage and does the full drag queen...well, thing: wig, makeup dress. It would be difficult to identify him if you didn't know.' He paused to see how the news was going down.
'Badly,' he thought. He went on,
'Apparently he left New Zealand because his performances in a place there were embarrassing his family. We think he's only just started to perform in public again.'
'I think I'll sit down,' the Queen said. 'Please gentlemen, sit.'
Jeff could see the wheels turning. She was an amazing woman. Not a shred of emotion showed.
'Does Crystal know?'
'I don't know Ma'am. If she doesn't she must be told.'
'Of course.' She stood and held out her hand.
'I feel it would be best if you remained Constable Davis, I'll send for her now but I think we'll walk in the garden, I need some air.'
A desire to flee came over Jeff as he watched his superior escape. 'Lucky bastard,' he thought.
The garden at the Palace was created as a place of repose, a refuge. 'If only,' Jeff thought as he followed Her Majesty down its stone paths. He felt as though he was about to be grilled on the outdoor barbeque.
She walked quickly, saying nothing for some time. At the end of a long allee she stopped and turned to Jeff,
'Constable, this relationship between my granddaughter and Holland is not going to work out. We could cope with the... the performing, we could put an end to that but overnight I made some further enquiries...' Jeff lifted his eyebrows and wondered, 'I've done a deep check, what else could there be?' The Queen said,
'I telephoned his mother. We've known each other for many years. I needed to know everything.' Jeff closed his mouth tight as it opened to voice his amazement. 'I don't want this information shared with anyone.' Jeff nodded,
'Of course Ma'am.'
'Good. Daisy, Richard's mother, tells me her boy is gifted, the music as you know, but he also has this weakness for dressing up and performing.' She began to walk again, more slowly. Jeff followed. 'He has also decided to marry Crystal. But it seems that although he is fond of her he is not in love. It is my experience that life is hard enough without being married to someone who is only fond of you. It won't do for Crystal.'
Jeff had to look away, he turned to look back to the Palace where he could see Crystal walking toward them.
'How do we tell her?' he asked.
'Not we Constable, me. I will tell her. You on the other hand will have to deal with the consequences: I don't think she'll take it well. There could be some behaviour you will have to deal with. '
Jeff could only agree. He left before Crystal arrived to receive the news that her love affair was over but he did see the aftermath.
So did Archie and Terri. Restored to their home in Crystal's room they couldn't avoid seeing the bitter tears that flowed for days or the sadness she wore for many months. During that time Jessie often filled Archie and tucked he and Terri into Crystal's arms as she lay in bed, disconsolate. She hugged them close, drawing comfort from their warmth.
Terri was often in sympathetic tears. It was a dreadful time as Archie and Terri witnessed the heartbreak of the end of Crystal's first romance.
Luckily, it wasn't to be her last but as is usual in these things Crystal didn't realise she had a long and happy life in front of her. It was the passing of time that would heal her.