Deadguy on Campus
Quintin Fortune
Copyright 2014 Quintin Fortune
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Campus Officer Milton hated this part of the job. Patrolling the campus during the cold nights, it wasn't entirely what he imagined when he trained for being a campus cop. His imagination involved college girls, but right now all he could think about was returning to the security office and drinking about three cups of coffee just to warm up. A smell suddenly hit him. Even though he had never really smelt it before the semester began, it had already become familiar to him. Quickly, he turned on his flashlight and scanned the area where that wretched, burning flesh smell was strongest.
He parted the bushes to find the charred remains of a male student. He fumbled for his radio. "Charley," he said, panic in his voice. "Oh god, Charley, We've got another one. Alert the dean."
In the pastel home office of the Professional Heroes, Jill Nemo was finishing up a call. She flipped through a few pages of an empty planner, acting as if it was full. She knew the person on the other end couldn't hear the pages or see her flipping them, but it made her feel better to keep up the illusion. "Okay, Mister Stockwell, we may be able to fit you in for later today," she said. "Is Five-o-clock a good time?" She listened to his response. "Sir, I'm sure it is really important." The more they squirm, the more they'll pay. "Can you hold for a moment." She pulled the phone away, hummed a bit, then set it back on her ear. "You're in luck, a client just pushed their appointment to tomorrow. We can be there in about an hour. Is that good for you?" She smiled to herself. "You're welcome. We'll be there in an hour." She hung up and started out of her office. "Guys. Team meet-" She stopped once she got to the living room to find Deadguy asleep on the couch. "Oh, for God sake's," she grumbled. "Valkadaidan, where are you?"
"Here," he answered from the kitchen. He peered out from the service window between the kitchen and the living room, a carton of milk in his hand.
"Help me get...you better not be drinking milk out of the carton," she said.
Valk reached up and grabbed a glass from the cabinet.
"Hey," she said, smacking Deadguy on the shoulder. "Wake up."
"I don't want to go to school, Mommy," Deadguy mumbled. "There's piranhas in the air ducts."
"Help me get him up," she pleaded.
"How," he asked, taking a gulp of milk. Jill grinned, putting her hands on the back of the couch. Valk set the glass down and grabbed the other end.
"On three," she ordered. "One. Two. THREE" They both lifted the back of the couch, dumping Our Hero onto the floor.
"I'm up," he announced, looking around. "I'm up." He glared at them. "You two are the worst alarm clocks I've ever met," he said, yawning. "What do you want?"
"Team meeting," Jill answered, taking a seat in her armchair. Deadguy sat back down on the couch as Valkadaidan joined him. "I just got off the phone with Dean Stockwell from Dendo University..."
"The guy from Quantum Leap," Deadguy asked, interrupting her.
"Nathaniel Stockwell, the dean of the school," Jill corrected.
"Right," he replied, sounding as if he didn't really believe her.
"Anyway, the dean has said that there have been a few electricity-induced deaths around the school and he wants us to investigate."
"Why not call the police," Valkadaidan asked. "This sounds like they should take care of it."
"He did," she answered. "They can't do anything. Something about needing a special task force from Davenshire that won't be available for another two months."
"So he called us," DG stated.
"He wanted it resolved quietly before the media gets wind of it and ruins the college's reputation," she explained.
"Yet he still called us," he asked.
"You can keep this quiet," she ordered.
Deadguy held up his smart phone. "I've got about eight million Flitter followers. I can't keep anything quiet."
"I've got nine million," Valk casually remarked. Deadguy glared at him.
"I've got nine and a half million, but we're not here to compare followers," Jill said. "We have a meeting in an hour. You boys need to be on your best behavior."
"Yes mom," they said in a mocking tone.