“Soren!” Ailia fought to contain the irrepressible joy that welled up inside of her. She stepped closer to him, and though she didn’t feel she could or should embrace him, even though that was what she wanted, she stroked his shoulder and arm to greet him.
“You look well,” he said, smiling at her. Then his eyebrows crinkled. “Something is different with you,” he said, his eyes searching hers. He looked different too. His skin was sun-kissed, and the stubble on his face was a little lighter than the it had been before.
“Different?” Ailia said. Could he truly recognize how she now knew the truth just by looking at her? How will I manage to not tell him? “My foot has completely healed. Thank you, again, for your help,” she said, ignoring his prodding, redirecting the conversation to safer subjects.
“So—any more wolf chasing?” he asked with a smirk.
She laughed. “No. I knew you were away, so I thought I’d refrain from such adventurous activities.”
He chuckled. “It is really good to see you again,” he said sincerely. He took a step closer and gave her a big bear hug.
Ailia hugged him back and she leaned her head into his chest. She remembered that firm chest and his broad shoulders, and soon she felt her cheeks become warm. A feeling of peace and belonging spread through her like the sun’s rays on a hot day.
Soren’s body tensed for a moment, and then he sighed. He slowly pulled away, his arms still wrapped around Ailia.
Ailia looked up into his blue eyes. He seemed to draw her in closer with each glance, each breath, and each word. She stood speechless for a moment, trying to read him.
He let go of his grip and stepped back. “I am curious, did you ever figure out how you ended up in the middle of nowhere?”
“No, it’s an enigma. I lost four months of my life,” she said. “I did find…a…” She stopped.
“A…?” he gently nudged her.
She wanted to make sure she didn’t share information she wasn’t supposed to, but decided it couldn’t hurt to tell him about the handkerchief and flask. “I found a raven embroidered handkerchief, so we have reason to believe the Vikings had something to do with my disappearance,” she said. “There was also an empty glass flask.” She had a hard time concentrating on anything other than the fact that Soren was standing right in front of her. “Can we talk about something else?” she finally said.
“Are you trying to hide something from me, wolf girl?” His right eyebrow rose in a playful way.
“No!” she nearly yelled and shook her head fervently. She resisted every temptation to think or say anything about him and her or any of the other things she had learned over the past few months.
He scratched his eyebrow and laughed under his breath. “All right. It seems I have asked a forbidden question.”
She pressed a smile. Why was this so hard? “How were your travels down south?”
“They went really well. Empress Mumtaz is gathering the elders who will in turn help us get the armies we need. Once the Great Sentinor is ready, the armies will cross the Orken Desert and come here. It will be a challenge to have all the troops cross the desert when it is time, so a lot of planning is needed,” he said.
Once the Great Sentinor is ready? She felt she would never be ready, and besides, she didn’t even know what that meant. How am I supposed to be their leader? I know nothing of troops or armies, or anything! They won’t follow me.
“Ailia, the devastation down south is horrific. Can you imagine living without access to clean water, being swarmed by bugs the size of my hand?” he said, lifting his hand up to show her. “People lie dying in the streets without anyone to help them and the only food they have are grains since nearly all their animals have died of some disease. Fortunately, they are still able to harvest plants and grains, but it will not be long until there is nothing left.”
“I’m sorry. Is there any way I can help?” she asked, feeling compassion well up in her bosom. She knew she needed to complete her plan, but she had absolutely no idea of where or how to even start.
“Not yet, but eventually we will need everyone’s help to defeat Eiess. Once Lucia finishes her plan, for it has to come from her, we will be ready to attack.”
“I understand,” she said, nodding her head anxiously, taking his statement to heart.
“I also visited my… descendants,” he said, his eyes softening.
“Oh,” Ailia said, slightly interested, nodding her head. “Oh!” She hadn’t thought about the fact that she had descendants. She felt guilty immediately.
“The youths call themselves Quartz.” Soren laughed.
“Quartz?”
“Yes. They gave themselves that name, being descendants from Lucia and myself. As you know, Lucia and I are demi-mortals, but they are not. They do have certain endowments within them, unique supernatural gifts, but not as much as Lucia and I. They thought instead of calling themselves demi-mortals, which they are not, they would go by quarter-mortals, or Quartz for short,” he said.
Ailia stared at him without responding. This was too much to take in at once, plus she already struggled with trying to hide her identity. She had just gotten used to admitting she was the Great Sentinor and now she had to hide it again from the one person she really wanted to tell.
“Are you sure you are all right?” he asked. “Did you have too much mead, perhaps?”
“No. I… I’m sorry.” Ailia exhaled sharply. She decided to be as honest as she could, without divulging what she needed to keep secret. She wasn’t doing a very good job at ‘acting’ normal, or like the old, peasant Ailia. There had to be a way she could be honest with him without breaking her vow of silence. “There is something,” she said, looking away. “ I cannot tell you what it is. You need to trust me on this.” She turned toward him again, took his hand, and looked up into his eyes, finally letting her guard down. “Will you trust me—please?”
“Yes,” Soren said without hesitation in his voice. “Yes, I will trust you.”
They stood looking at each other for a moment, communicating in silence. Ailia felt that he truly did trust her. A friendship had been taken to the next level. “Thank you. I’m so relieved. I worried you wouldn’t. I cannot keep up with all the changes that are going on in my life, a new sister, new information—” Ailia said. She let go of his hand.
“Of course I trust you. Silya told me you are Lucia’s sister, which is wonderful. No wonder I felt there was something special about you.” He nudged her.
Silya must be trying to get Soren to realize who Ailia was without breaking her vow of silence. Perhaps she could also do something of the sort? “Ah, yes. I am indeed her sister.”
“You would probably like to stay out here all night, but I am anxious to get inside to the heat,” he finally said. “Besides, there are Surtorians lurking around every corner and I would rather not get noticed by one.”
Ailia felt foolish. She hadn’t thought about the fact that Soren had just come traveling from heaven knows how far and she was keeping him outside. “Sorry. I was just so happy to see you again. Of course you should be getting inside.”
They stepped into the dim foyer and removed their overcoats, the flame from the hearth casting a low glow into the room. As if by instinct, Ailia took Soren’s hand in hers and guided him toward the main room.
“This should help you warm up,” she said once they arrived at the fire. She picked up firewood and placed it onto the dwarfed flames. “You must be starving. Would you like a bowl of stew?”
“That sounds delicious,” Soren said.
“Please, have a seat.” She gestured toward the bench.
He sat down slowly at first and then with a low thump. The modest amber light from the fire burned low, illuminating his serious face. His dark hair was a mess, standing in all sorts of different direction, and he smelled of sweat and the outdoors.
Picking up the stew-filled cauldron, she set in onto the flames.
“I apologize for leaving so abruptly with
no explanation,” he said.
She glanced at him from beneath her eyelashes. “Not to worry. I made it home safely,” she said with a soft smile.
“Will you forgive me?”
“Of course,” she said without hesitation, stirring the stew with a wooden spoon. They sat in relaxed silence for some time, and Ailia noticed how he kept glancing at her. She pretended not to notice, afraid if she looked back at him, her eyes might not be able to hide the truth. Once steam rose from the stew, she scooped a portion into a wooden bowl and handed it to him.
He sat and ate in silence for a few moments. “How was your journey back home?” he asked quietly.
“The trip was uneventful. I adore Silya. She’s a gem. She told me how you two met and filled me in on more information about the Sentinors and Eiess and the Aesira Jewel. It’s very fascinating,” she said.
“Silya is one of the wisest women I know. She has had a rough life, but instead of growing angry and bitter, she has taken the hardships of life and molded each lesson into diamonds of great wisdom.”
“I agree. She is very wise. Did she travel with you here to Bergendal?” Ailia asked.
“Yes.” He took another bite and swallowed. “I was not planning on stopping by,” he said reflectively, scraping the last part of the stew from the bowl. “However, Silya insisted I did. She can be as stubborn as a mule that Sami woman.”
She laughed. Silya was really trying to nudge him toward Ailia it would seem. “How long do you plan to stay?”
“Until the day after tomorrow and then we will head back to Trollsoe.”
The thought of him leaving felt like salt on a raw wound, and in that instant, she wanted to tell him everything. But she had given her word not to! Perhaps if I approach him a little more directly, he’ll realize who I am without me having to tell him. It was a dangerous plan, yet she could not have stopped herself if she had wanted to. In her desire to be chaste and save herself for her husband, she had never approached a man in a manner like this and her heart started pounding immediately. Squeezing in right next to him, she placed her narrow hand on his knee, trying not to think of the rejection she might go through if he declined her.
He shifted in his seat. “Ailia—” he said, freezing up and not looking at her. He exhaled. “I cannot be that for you,” he finally said, seeming as if he were struggling with the right words to say. “You know that, right?”
She wasn’t willing to accept the rejection just yet. She lifted her knee up over his lap and sat down on his lap facing him. “I think you can,” she said and smiled, her heart in her mouth.
He looked away. “I have felt an attraction to you and I cannot explain it. It does not make any sense, especially since my one eternal partner is someone other than you. However, I cannot give into a fleeting feeling such as this one.”
She turned his face toward her, nudging him along. “Everything will be all right; just trust your heart.” She wrapped her arms around his neck.
“I do not expect you to understand,” he said impatiently, shaking his head.
She stood up and felt extremely embarrassed, not to mention rejected. “Why, because you think I’m not a demi-mortal?” she concluded, slightly offended. She had no one to blame for the rejection other than herself, but it was still difficult to bear.
He stood up and looked her squarely in the eyes. “I admire you so much. There is a strong force inside you that I cannot explain. It is almost like you are a demi-mortal, your energy is so strong. Perhaps it is because you are Lucia’s sister.”
Ailia knew she couldn’t tell him about her true identity, not yet at least, so she decided to abandon her risqué plan. If she continued, she felt she would have to stoop too low and she wasn’t strong enough to handle that kind of refusal from him. She walked away from Soren, embarrassed, and braced her chest with her arms.
To her surprise, he came up behind her and grabbed her shoulders, pulling her body close to his. His hands slowly made their way down Ailia’s arms and finally down to her hands, where they clasped hers in a tight grip. Goosebumps speckled her arms and shoulders.
They stood there for a long time, their hearts beating steadily. Ailia leaned her head into his chest and he kissed her on the neck ever so lightly. Surprised that he had done so, she turned around and faced him and then they both embraced each other, holding on so tightly, afraid that if they let go, they might do something they both truly desired, but could not afford to do.
“I know this might sound outlandish,” he whispered. “But it is almost as if you—”
Ailia looked up into his eyes, hoping he would realize that she was the one he spoke of. “What?”
He stroked her hair, caressing it with his hand and then pulled it gently as he continued to kiss her neck and face.
She closed her eyes and enjoyed every touch, every kiss. She then started kissing him back, their lips still not joining. “Soren,” she said longingly. Her body tingled as Soren stirred up feelings inside her no other man had even come close to.
He seemed to enjoy hearing his name spoken from her lips and he cradled her face in his hands. He came in so close and Ailia could feel his breath on her lips. Their eyes connected and Ailia could see that he really did feel something for her. His intensely blue eyes burned with desire and Ailia could see in them that he truly wanted her in that moment.
“No, not like that!” Brander said, over by the outer wall.
Soren and Ailia froze, completely startled by the noise. They hastily stepped away from each other as if they were children who had been caught with their hands in a basket filled with fresh bread. Standing still for a moment, they listened. No sound.
“I think he is talking in his sleep,” Soren said. They both laughed silently, and began to move toward each other again.
“Ailia?” Lucia said, suddenly appearing out of the darkness. She gasped when her eyes fell on Soren.
Soren looked as if he had seen a ghost, his face turning ashen. “Lucia.” His mouth fell open.
“What took you so long, Soren?” Lucia asked. “I have been here for many months and you did not come for me.” She quickly turned around and walked away.
For a moment, Ailia had forgotten that he didn’t know the truth. To him, Lucia was his bride-to-be, his eternal love, his Spiritus Amor. She wanted to tell him that that was not true, but she couldn’t get herself to say so much as a single word.
“She was here all along and you did not care to tell me?” Soren’s face flushed red.
“I… I…” But she couldn’t find the right words.
“This was a mistake,” he said. “I do not know what came over me. Ailia, I—”
“Let me go talk to her,” she said, trying to make it better without having him feel too bad about it. “I, I’m sorry. This was a bad idea. I will explain everything later,” she said and trailed after Lucia. Arriving in the corner, Ailia approached Lucia. She heard footsteps, and then the door slammed shut behind Soren.
“Soren is here? Did you tell him?” Lucia asked, sounding somewhat dispirited.
“No, of course not. It’s not the right time yet. It kills me that I cannot tell him, especially now. And what’s worse than that is that I don’t know how long it will be until I can tell him. It could be weeks, months, years—or worse, even decades,” Ailia whispered, letting out a groan.
“Oh, it will not be decades,” Lucia said. “It will be sooner than you think.”
“Thank you,” Ailia said half-heartedly. She couldn’t expect Lucia to really understand or even sympathize with her predicament. Immediately, she felt guilty for thinking that. “I’m so grateful I have someone to talk to about this—it helps a lot.”
Lucia smiled faintly. “What am I supposed to do?” she asked, her brows furrowed. “I would feel rather uncomfortable pretending to be you.”
She said it in a way that made Ailia think it was intended as an insult. But, she was right. Ailia hadn’t thought about how this would affect Lucia. L
ucia would have to go along with being the Great Sentinor, acting as if she were Soren’s. She tried to push away the unexpected and irrational emotion of jealousy. She had nothing to fear, did she? How should we handle this?
“It’s the only way,” Ailia finally said. For Lucia couldn’t ignore him, acting as if she were nothing to him. In the long run, this short time will not matter. When Soren and I are married and I have defeated Eiess, Lucia, Soren and I will look back at this time and laugh—or so she hoped.
“I am not a good liar, you know,” Lucia said. “Are you sure this is the best way? What should I do when he tries to kiss me?”
Ailia gritted her teeth. “Then you have to kiss him back as if he were your Spiritus Amor.”
Lucia leaned in. “I do not mean to make you feel uncomfortable, but I know Soren better than you. He is a very passionate man with passionate needs. He may even try to bring me to his bed and have his way with me.”
Ailia felt her entire body go rigid. Was she telling the truth? She had no reason to lie, did she? However, Ailia had not seen that passionate side of him, only the tender one. But the again, he thought Lucia was his one love.
She wished she could talk to Unni before they jumped into role-playing. However, she remained steady in her decision. The answers would have to come along the way.
“It is the best way and I have complete confidence and trust in you, Lucia. He told me he wants to leave the day after tomorrow to Trollsoe—with you. You’re going to have to go with him if he insists, or if we cannot sway him from leaving.” It tore Ailia up inside that he would be leaving again, but she couldn’t think about that now when so many other things were at stake.
Lucia leaned forward, sitting on both her hands. “I will do my best. I hate to see you struggle with this,” she said. “Maybe, I could insist you come with me since you are my sister?”
Ailia raised her eyebrows and peered over at Lucia. “That might work.” She paused. “Let’s sleep on it and talk again tomorrow,” she said, her hope renewed.
“Good night,” Lucia said.
“Yes, good night and thank you,” Ailia said and hugged her sister before jumping into bed.
Ailia’s mind continued to race with the day’s events. Ivanka’s forewarning hung as a red banner in the back of her mind as she tried to go to sleep. She hoped Ivanka had been wrong. She was probably just an insane fortuneteller anyway, or a mad old hag. Still, something told her that there was some truth to her terrifying foretelling. Finally, sleep took her and it was, thankfully, a dreamless night.
24
A Change of Plans