He was to go up for an examination, poor fellow, and during these weeks his lamp burned till the small hours. It was for the diplomatic service, and there was to be some frightful number of competitors; but Adela had great hopes of him – she believed so in his talents, and she saw, with pity, how hard he worked. This would have made her spare him, not trouble his night, his scanty rest, if anything less dreadful had been at stake. It was a blessing, however, that one could count upon his coolness, young as he was – his bright, good-looking discretion. Moreover he was the one who would care most. If Leonard was the eldest son – he had, as a matter of course, gone into the army and was in India, on the staff, by good luck, of a governor-general – it was exactly this that would make him comparatively indifferent. His life was elsewhere, and his father and he had been in a measure military comrades, so that he would be deterred by a certain delicacy from protesting; he wouldn’t have liked his father to protest in an affair of his. Beatrice and Muriel would care, but they were too young to speak, and this was just why her own responsibility was so great.
Godfrey was in working-gear – shirt and trousers and slippers and a beautiful silk jacket. His room felt hot, though a window was open to the summer night; the lamp on the table shed its studious light over a formidable heap of text books and papers, and the bed showed that he had flung himself down to think out a problem. As soon as she got in she said to him: ‘Father’s going to marry Mrs Churchley!’
She saw the poor boy’s pink face turn pale. ‘How do you know?’
‘I’ve seen with my eyes. We’ve been dining there – we’ve just come home. He’s in love with her – she’s in love with him; they’ll arrange it.’
‘Oh, I say!’ Godfrey exclaimed, incredulous.
‘He will, he will, he will!’ cried the girl; and with this she burst into tears.
Godfrey, who had a cigarette in his hand, lighted it at one of the candles on the mantelpiece as if he were embarrassed. As Adela, who had dropped into his armchair, continued to sob, he said, after a moment: ‘He oughtn’t to – he oughtn’t to.’
‘Oh, think of mamma – think of mamma!’ the girl went on.
‘Yes, he ought to think of mamma’; and Godfrey looked at the tip of his cigarette.
‘To such a woman as that, after her!’
‘Dear old mamma!’ said Godfrey, smoking.
Adela rose again, drying her eyes. ‘It’s like an insult to her; it’s as if he denied her.’ Now that she spoke of it, she felt herself tremendously exalted. ‘It’s as if he rubbed out at a stroke all the years of their happiness.’
‘They were awfully happy,’ said Godfrey.
‘Think what she was – think how no one else will ever again be like her!’ the girl cried.
‘I suppose he’s not very happy now,’ Godfrey continued vaguely.
‘Of course he isn’t, any more than you and I are; and it’s dreadful of him to want to be.’
‘Well, don’t make yourself miserable till you’re sure,’ the young man said.
But his sister showed him confidently that she was sure, from the way the pair had behaved together and from her father’s attitude on the drive home. If Godfrey had been there he would have seen everything; it couldn’t be explained, but he would have felt. When he asked at what moment the girl had first had her suspicion, she replied that it had all come at once, that evening; or that at least she had had no conscious fear till then. There had been signs for two or three weeks, but she hadn’t understood them – ever since the day Mrs Churchley had dined in Seymour Street. Adela had thought it odd then that her father had wished to invite her, in the quiet way they were living; she was a person they knew so little. He had said something about her having been very civil to him, and that evening, already, she had guessed that he had been to Mrs Churchley’s oftener than she had supposed. Tonight it had come to her clearly that he had been to see her every day since the day she dined with them; every afternoon, about the hour she thought he was at his club. Mrs Churchley was his club, – she was just like a club. At this Godfrey laughed; he wanted to know what his sister knew about clubs. She was slightly disappointed in his laugh, slightly wounded by it, but she knew perfectly what she meant: she meant that Mrs Churchley was public and florid, promiscuous and mannish.
‘Oh, I daresay she’s all right,’ said Godfrey, as if he wanted to get on with his work. He looked at the clock on the mantelshelf; he would have to put in another hour.
‘All right to come and take darling mamma’s place – to sit where she used to sit, to lay her horrible hands on her things?’ Adela was appalled – all the more that she had not expected it – at her brother’s apparent acceptance of such a prospect.
He coloured; there was something in her passionate piety that scorched him. She glared at him with her tragic eyes as if he had profaned an altar. ‘Oh, I mean nothing will come of it.’
‘Not if we do our duty,’ said Adela.
‘Our duty?’
‘You must speak to him – tell him how we feel; that we shall never forgive him, that we can’t endure it.’
‘He’ll think I’m cheeky,’ returned Godfrey, looking down at his papers, with his back to her and his hands in his pockets.
‘Cheeky, to plead for her memory?’
‘He’ll say it’s none of my business.’
‘Then you believe he’ll do it?’ cried the girl.
‘Not a bit. Go to bed!’
‘I’ll speak to him,’ said Adela, as pale as a young priestess.
‘Don’t cry out till you’re hurt; wait till he speaks to you.’
‘He won’t, he won’t!’ the girl declared. ‘He’ll do it without telling us.’
Her brother had faced round to her again; he started a little at this, and again, at one of the candles, lighted his cigarette, which had gone out. She looked at him a moment; then he said something that surprised her.
‘Is Mrs Churchley very rich?’
‘I haven’t the least idea. What has that to do with it?’
Godfrey puffed his cigarette. ‘Does she live as if she were?’
‘She has got a lot of showy things.’
‘Well, we must keep our eyes open,’ said Godfrey. ‘And now you must let me get on.’ He kissed his sister, as if to make up for dismissing her, or for his failure to take fire; and she held him a moment, burying her head on his shoulder. A wave of emotion surged through her; she broke out with a wail:
‘Ah, why did she leave us? Why did she leave us?’
‘Yes, why indeed?’ the young man sighed, disengaging himself with a movement of oppression.
II
ADELA was so far right as that by the end of the week, though she remained certain, her father had not made the announcement she dreaded. What made her certain was the sense of her changed relations with him – of there being between them something unexpressed, something of which she was as conscious as she would have been of an unhealed wound. When she spoke of this to Godfrey, he said the change was of her own making, that she was cruelly unjust to the governor. She suffered even more from her brother’s unexpected perversity; she had had so different a theory about him that her disappointment was almost an humiliation and she needed all her fortitude to pitch her faith lower. She wondered what had happened to him and why he had changed. She would have trusted him to feel right about anything, above all about such a matter as this. Their worship of their mother’s memory, their recognition of her sacred place in their past, her exquisite influence in their father’s life, his fortunes, his career, in the whole history of the family and welfare of the house – accomplished, clever, gentle, good, beautiful and capable as she had been, a woman whose soft distinction was universally proclaimed, so that on her death one of the Princesses, the most august of her friends, had written Adela such a note about her as princesses were understood very seldom to write: their hushed tenderness over all this was a kind of religion, and also a sort of honour, in falling away from which there was a
semblance of treachery. This was not the way people usually felt in London, she knew; but, strenuous, ardent, observant girl as she was, with secrecies of sentiment and dim originalities of attitude, she had already made up her mind that London was no place to look for delicacies. Remembrance there was hammered thin, and to be faithful was to be a bore. The patient dead were sacrificed; they had no shrines, for people were literally ashamed of mourning. When they had hustled all sensibility out of their lives, they invented the fiction that they felt too much to utter. Adela said nothing to her sisters; this reticence was part of the virtue it was her system to exercise for them. She was to be their mother, a direct deputy and representative. Before the vision of that other woman parading in such a character, she felt capable of ingenuities and subtleties. The foremost of these was tremulously to watch her father. Five days after they had dined together at Mrs Churchley’s he asked her if she had been to see that lady.
‘No indeed, why should I?’ Adela knew that he knew she had not been, since Mrs Churchley would have told him.
‘Don’t you call on people after you dine with them?’ said Colonel Chart.
‘Yes, in the course of time. I don’t rush off within the week.’
Her father looked at her, and his eyes were colder than she had ever seen them, which was probably, she reflected, just the way her own appeared to him. ‘Then you’ll please rush off to-morrow. She’s to dine with us on the 12th, and I shall expect your sisters to come down.’
Adela stared. ‘To a dinner party?’
‘It’s not to be a dinner party. I want them to know Mrs Churchley.’
‘Is there to be nobody else?’
‘Godfrey, of course. A family party.’
The girl asked her brother that evening if that was not tantamount to an announcement. He looked at her queerly, and then he said, ‘I’ve been to see her.’
‘What on earth did you do that for?’
‘Father told me he wished it.’
‘Then he has told you?’
‘Told me what?’ Godfrey asked, while her heart sank with the sense that he was making difficulties for her.
‘That they’re engaged, of course. What else can all this mean?’
‘He didn’t tell me that, but I like her.’
‘Like her!’ the girl shrieked.
‘She’s very kind, very good.’
‘To thrust herself upon us when we hate her? Is that what you call kind? Is that what you call decent?’
‘Oh, I don’t hate her,’ Godfrey rejoined, turning away as if his sister bored him.
She went the next day to see Mrs Churchley, with a vague plan of breaking out to her, appealing to her, saying, ‘Oh, spare us! have mercy on us! let him alone! go away!’ But that was not easy when they were face to face. Mrs Churchley had every intention of getting, as she would have said – she was perpetually using the expression – into touch; but her good intentions were as depressing as a tailor’s misfits. She could never understand that they had no place for her vulgar charity; that their life was filled with a fragrance of perfection for which she had no sense fine enough. She was as undomestic as a shop-front and as out of tune as a parrot. She would make them live in the streets, or bring the streets into their lives – it was the same thing. She had evidently never read a book, and she used intonations that Adela had never heard, as if she had been an Australian or an American. She understood everything in a vulgar sense; speaking of Godfrey’s visit to her and praising him according to her idea, saying horrid things about him – that he was awfully good-looking, a perfect gentleman, the kind she liked. How could her father, who was after all, in everything else, such a dear, listen to a woman, or endure her, who thought she was pleasing when she called the son of his dead wife a perfect gentleman? What would he have been, pray? Much she knew about what any of them were! When she told Adela she wanted her to like her, the girl thought for an instant her opportunity had come – the chance to plead with her and beg her off. But she presented such an impenetrable surface that it would have been like giving a message to a varnished door. She wasn’t a woman, said Adela; she was an address.
When she dined in Seymour Street, the ‘children’, as the girl called the others, including Godfrey, liked her. Beatrice and Muriel stared shyly and silently at the wonders of her apparel (she was brutally overdressed!) without, of course, guessing the danger that tainted the air. They supposed her, in their innocence, to be amusing, and they didn’t know, any more than she did herself, that she patronised them. When she was upstairs with them, after dinner, Adela could see her looking round the room at the things she meant to alter; their mother’s things, not a bit like her own and not good enough for her. After a quarter of an hour of this, our young lady felt sure she was deciding that Seymour Street wouldn’t do at all, the dear old home that had done for their mother for twenty years. Was she plotting to transport them all to her horrible Prince’s Gate? Of one thing, at any rate, Adela was certain: her father, at that moment, alone in the dining-room with Godfrey, pretending to drink another glass of wine to make time, was coming to the point, was telling the news. When they came upstairs, they both, to her eyes, looked strange: the news had been told.
She had it from Godfrey before Mrs Churchley left the house, when, after a brief interval, he followed her out of the drawing-room on her taking her sisters to bed. She was waiting for him at the door of her room. Her father was then alone with his fiancée (the word was grotesque to Adela); it was already as if it were her home.
‘What did you say to him?’ the girl asked, when her brother had told her.
‘I said nothing.’ Then he added, colouring (the expression of her face was such), ‘There was nothing to say.’
‘Is that how it strikes you?’ said Adela, staring at the lamp.
‘He asked me to speak to her,’ Godfrey went on.
‘To speak to her?’
‘To tell her I was glad.’
‘And did you?’ Adela panted.
‘I don’t know. I said something. She kissed me.’
‘Oh, how could you?’ shuddered the girl, covering her face with her hands.
‘He says she’s very rich,’ said Godfrey simply.
‘Is that why you kissed her?’
‘I didn’t kiss her. Good-night,’ and the young man, turning his back upon her, went out.
When her brother was gone Adela locked herself in, as if with the fear that she should be overtaken or invaded, and during a sleepless, feverish, memorable night she took counsel of her uncompromising spirit. She saw things as they were, in all the indignity of life. The levity, the mockery, the infidelity, the ugliness, lay as plain as a map before her; it was a world pour rire, but she cried about it, all the same. The morning dawned early, or rather it seemed to her that there had been no night, nothing but a sickly, creeping day. But by the time she heard the house stirring again she had determined what to do. When she came down to the breakfast-room her father was already in his place, with newspapers and letters; and she expected the first words he would utter to be a rebuke to her for having disappeared, the night before, without taking leave of Mrs Churchley. Then she saw that he wished to be intensely kind, to make every allowance, to conciliate and console her. He knew that she knew from Godfrey, and he got up and kissed her. He told her as quickly as possible, to have it over, stammering a little, with an ‘I’ve a piece of news for you that will probably shock you,’ yet looking even exaggeratedly grave and rather pompous, to inspire the respect he didn’t deserve. When he kissed her she melted, she burst into tears. He held her against him, kissing her again and again, saying tenderly, ‘Yes, yes, I know, I know.’ But he didn’t know, or he could never have done it. Beatrice and Muriel came in, frightened when they saw her crying, and still more scared when she turned to them with words and an air that were terrible in their comfortable little lives: ‘Papa’s going to be married; he’s going to marry Mrs Churchley!’ After staring a moment and seeing their father look as
strange, on his side, as Adela, though in a different way, the children also began to cry, so that when the servants arrived, with tea and boiled eggs, these functionaries were greatly embarrassed with their burden, not knowing whether to come in or hang back. They all scraped together a decorum, and as soon as the things had been put on the table the Colonel banished the men with a glance. Then he made a little affectionate speech to Beatrice and Muriel, in which he assured them that Mrs Churchley was the kindest, the most delightful, of women, only wanting to make them happy, only wanting to make him happy, and convinced that he would be if they were and that they would be if he was.
‘What do such words mean?’ Adela asked herself. She declared privately that they meant nothing, but she was silent, and every one was silent, on account of the advent of Miss Flynn, the governess, before whom Colonel Chart preferred not to discuss the situation. Adela recognised on the spot that, if things were to go as he wished, his children would practically never again be alone with him. He would spend all his time with Mrs Churchley till they were married, and then Mrs Churchley would spend all her time with him. Adela was ashamed of him, and that was horrible – all the more that every one else would be, all his other friends, every one who had known her mother. But the public dishonour to that high memory should not be enacted; he should not do as he wished.
After breakfast her father told her that it would give him pleasure if, in a day or two, she would take her sisters to see Mrs Churchley, and she replied that he should be obeyed. He held her hand a moment, looking at her with an appeal in his eyes which presently hardened into sternness. He wanted to know that she forgave him, but he also wanted to say to her that he expected her to mind what she did, to go straight. She turned away her eyes; she was indeed ashamed of him.
She waited three days, and then she took her sisters to see Mrs Churchley. That lady was surrounded with callers, as Adela knew she would be; it was her ‘day’ and the occasion the girl preferred. Before this she had spent all her time with her sisters, talking to them about their mother, playing upon their memory of her, making them cry and making them laugh, reminding them of certain hours of their early childhood, telling them anecdotes of her own. None the less she assured them that she believed there was no harm at all in Mrs Churchley, and that when the time should come she would probably take them out immensely. She saw with smothered irritation that they enjoyed their visit in Prince’s Gate; they had never been at anything so ‘grown up’, nor seen so many smart bonnets and brilliant complexions. Moreover, they were considered with interest, as if, as features of Mrs Churchley’s new life, they had been described in advance and were the heroines of the occasion. There were so many ladies present that Mrs Churchley didn’t talk to them much; but she called them her ‘chicks’ and asked them to hand about tea-cups and bread and butter. All this was highly agreeable and indeed intensely exciting to Beatrice and Muriel, who had little round red spots in their cheeks when they came away. Adela quivered with the sense that her mother’s children were now Mrs Churchley’s ‘chicks’ and features of Mrs Churchley’s life.