Chapter 11: To Goal Proceed
‘Let those who seek me out of their own free will be offered enlightenment and salvation, for I do not discriminate the lesser from one another except by faith.’ Book of Rayogin.
1
The plan was simple, but it would be no easy feat. The Southern Alliance force, a name the Hearthwardens chose for their newfound pact, was to prevent their lands from being plundered and raided by constructing a wall separating the Scyld domain from the Midlands.
Hephaestion, standing on an elevation overlooking the construction of the palisade, watched intently as the men and women of the Southern Alliance dug into the hard ground and hammered the spikes which would form the beginning of their defensive wall.
“So this is the spot?” Ganis asked of Hephaestion. He wore the new armor Thalia had crafted him, looking more natural in red than black, and stood proud, hand casually falling on his blade and his red-trimmed silver kite shield strapped to his back.
“It is the best we can find.” He pointed towards two cliffs separating the land from sea, first towards the left than the right. “We will dig a long trench and place our palisade there. It should strengthen our position for now, but it will not suffice once the Scylds have enough time to raise a sizable force…Unless we seek to defeat them regardless of the lives it would cost us.”
Ganis looked at him, trying to understand how the veteran still managed to value life after a experiencing so much killing and war. She shrugged the thought away and asked, “Will they be ready to hold it without us?”
He hummed. “It might not be an easy task for them. Some within the Southern Alliance might be inclined to launch an assault and this, I believe, will prove a bigger challenge than the defensive preparations themselves.”
“I can guarantee that the Highborn will do as we suggest.” Ganis knew that whatever she suggested to the Highborn was conveyed as a command to the Scands. Part of her reveled in this power, but it was usually suppressed by her newfound values of independence of choice, the Emperor’s values.
“It is not the Highborn that worry me, but the Hearthwardens.”
Ganis’ eyes widened. What is it that he hasn’t told me? “They are a peaceful people, and it’s the nature of peaceful people to avoid a fight unless necessary.”
Hephaestion, for but a brief moment, turned his gaze away from the shoveling and hammering of wooden spikes and looked at Ganis, saying, “Even the most peaceful people can be swayed to war when presented by the means. Do not underestimate our capacity for destruction, Ganis…all of us.”
Ganis knew that she, above all others, was capable of great destruction. Hephaestion’s comment resonated with her memories, especially the days of her Peacekeeper Core service. When she commanded a sizable regiment, she executed her missions with the utmost brutality, sparing no man, women or child.
Her attitude was a result of her life beforehand, when she herself was spared no mercy for her actions; flailed for stealing out of hunger and imprisoned for protecting the weak. As a child she was often vilified for doing what was expected of children, and for a long time it shaped how she herself thought of the world, cruel and unforgiving.
But the Demigod Emperor Servak showed her another way. When she was bound and presented to him, expecting to be executed for supporting the Council and standing against him, he gave her freedom and a place beside him, with the people of Nosgard.
For the longest time she thought her service to Asclepius was a punishment for her actions against the free people of Nosgard, the Empire, but her assignment to the Utyirth mission and her time with the Ona showed her the true intentions of the Emperor, to make up for all the injustice that was bestowed upon her and heal the scars her past had given her; to prove her that another path could be treaded even by the likes of her.
“You speak true,” Ganis said. “Yet it isn’t our place to command the Southern Alliance.”
Hephaestion nodded. “I agree. We have interfered more than we were expected to. That is why I have decided to not leave any of us behind to help with the preparations here.”
“And we also weren’t expected to be in this position.” Ganis waved her hands around, gesturing to all their surroundings. “Hephaestion, we came here to find Naa’tas and end his threat. Look at what we did here. We shouldn’t be ashamed for overextending our orders. We should be proud of giving these people a fighting chance against the tyranny of the Scylds.”
“They will want to join the Empire, I overhead some speak of it.”
“Who?”
“Hearthwardens and Highborn.” He looked at a small group of Watchers standing below, staring at the horizon and scattering in small packs to all directions. “The Watchers would not stay here once we are gone. They seem intent on going to Nosgard. I thought it might be because they expect Monolos to return there, but there might be another reason for it, though I do not know what yet.”
Ganis took a deep breath. “They are prepared and ready now. Regardless of what your thoughts are about the Southern Alliance, there is little we can do about it.”
Hephaestion nodded. He then reached into a grey sash loosely wrapped around his waist and resting on his hip and produced a leather pouch and a pipe. He prepared the pipe and gestured to Ganis if she wanted some. She shook her head and watched him light it.
They continued to watch the villagers work in silence, digging and hammering. They made quick work whenever they decided on a spot, but there was much ground to cover. It would take some time, even if a Scyld force appeared and pressured them to work faster.
Sometimes a group of villagers would pause to rest for a few moments. They would exchange some words and often burst into laughter. The villagers, Ganis saw, have gained something from their endeavor. They were starting to act like soldiers, taking their situation lightly as hardened men often did.
“When do we move?” Ganis asked.
Hephaestion inhaled deeply from his pipe, the smoke starting to thin, and blew a long steady stream of smoke which lasted a moment. “At first light.”
2
It got colder as the Parthans headed to Scyldur. The time of day gave little of the sun’s warmth to the travelers, with the rich clouds covering the blue skies making them grey. A bleak day for any Kolian or Alvian, but it did little to the Parthans accustomed to such climate.
“Do not believe in you, believe in me who believes in you,” Thalia said to Ganis, after spending the entire day in silence. “Reject common sense to make the impossible possible.” She minded her step in the forest, with snow covering the ground, a good hiding spot for traps.
Even though she did not remember any of her youth, Thalia had an embedded set of instincts often guiding her demeanor. She had little ticks and sayings that gave away some of her past - or at least allowed for speculation - and it indicated a life in the shadows, being light on her feet and sharp with her senses.
“What are you saying?” Ganis treaded less cautiously.
“Everything.” She started humming a song Ganis did not recognize.
“You ought to be more careful when in hostile lands.” Ganis stepped on a twig which produced a loud cracking sound. For a moment she stood still, eyeing Thalia.
She looked back at Ganis, as if saying ‘I told you so’, and shook her head, smiling.
Ganis grimaced and continued walking in silence.
Just before night fell and darkness engulfed the Parthans, Screo reported a nearby cave, a suitable shelter for the night, and Hephaestion decided it would be quicker and more convenient to head there. If anything dwelled within, they would attempt to remain peacefully if they could, but would not hesitate to take a life or two in the process.
“It’s time,” Ninazu said. He dropped his luggage and weapons on the ground.
“Time?” Ganis asked.
“For the transformation.” Ninazu looked at Hephaestion and said. “We should stay here until the pills take effect.”
“Then we wi
ll seek shelter in the cave for this night and the others we need.” He looked around him, examining the cave. It was well located, somewhat hidden and not in any direct path from anything they knew of nearby. The forest, he judged, would provide them with enough wood and food, the most vital of all resources.
Ninazu looked at Dindrane, Thalia and Eirene. Each busy unpacking the contents of their packs and preparing for a prolonged stay. Eirene seemed to be most keen on readying a shrine, while Thalia and Dindrane just wanted to make certain that enough blankets and covers would be ready whenever they wanted to rest. “I have not tested them before on people,” Ninazu said, making the four women cease their fiddling and eye him intently, faces surprised and jaws dropped.
“You have not tested them?” Thalia said, loudly and judgmentally, she lowered her head and stared daggers at the Turian.
“I have tested them…on mice.”
“Do I look like a mouse to you?” Thalia said.
He paused for a moment.
“You’re not supposed to think about it,” she snapped.
“He does have a point,” Percival said. He was preparing a sleeping area next to Dindrane’s. The twins rarely separated and preferred to be close at all times, although each was perfectly comfortable with any other member of the Ona. “From certain angles you do look a little like a mouse.”
Thalia shifted her rage from Ninazu to Percival, pointing an angry finger at him. “I’m not in the mood.”
Percival laughed and looked at Dindrane. She did not share his amusement.
“You knew about it back then,” Ninazu said. “Now is not the time for hesitation.”
“Back then I did not understand the magnitude of what I agreed to.” Thalia looked around her at the three other women.
Ganis did not share their concern, but she was also more resilient and determined after escaping Initium Keep. She produced the pouch Ninazu had given her and swallowed one of the pills, accentuating the gesture to demonstrate her willingness and to challenge the others.
“You will need to take two of them a day until you’re passable for a man,” Ninazu said. He approached Ganis. “Then it will suffice to have one a day.” He took one of the pills and held it with two fingers, making certain that all four women would see it. “I don’t have the ingredients to make any more, so please be prudent.”
“How long will these last us?” Ganis asked. The others remained reluctant.
“A few seasons, perhaps.” He shook his head. “I’m not entirely certain.”
“Anything else we should know of?” Ganis carefully closed her pouch and strung it tightly to her belt.
Before Ninazu could respond, Thalia asked, “Would it not be easier to just wrap our breasts tightly and cut our hair short?”
“This might work for you,” Percival said, “but it will take far more for the others to pass as men, in my eyes at least.” He waved his head at Eirene, Ganis and Dindrane.
Thalia growled at him.
Ninazu ignored the brief interruption and said, “You will need to avoid feeding naturally, Ganis. I believe that the mixture I gave you would not disturb your transformation, but I cannot guarantee the same of untreated blood.”
Ganis nodded. The reliance would be an inconvenience for her. One more thing to hide, she thought. Whenever there was something different about her, Ganis always felt it strange to conceal it. Her habits would take her away from many of the activities required for her intended subterfuge, and it would risk drawing unwanted questions.
Eirene, after staying idle for long, listening to the debate raised by Thalia, decided that it would be best to trust in Pax. It was, after all, her way. She produced her own pouch of pills and took one, swallowing it immediately and washing it down with some water she had been carrying in a fur flask kept within her cloak. The water was cold, but not frozen.
“By Pax,” Thalia said. “I won’t be the last to do it.” She quickly produced a pill from her pouch, provoking Dindrane to do so hastily, and ate it. She was not as keen as Eirene to be done with the act and chewed it intently, grimacing at the bitterness of it. Once she was done, she stuck out her tongue, which had become purple, as if demonstrating to the others that she had indeed eaten the pill.
“The path of Pax encourages us to change ourselves first,” Eirene said.
“Before we bring such change to others,” Thalia continued. “I’ve heard enough of your preaching to know the path of Pax as if it was my own.” Thalia was displeased at being forced to take the pill by the challenge Eirene had presented to her - it made her angry, but accepting. “If this kills me, Ninazu, I’ll come back from the land of the dead to haunt you.” She pointed at the Turian.
“You already are haunting me,” he said. “I cannot imagine it to be any worse.”
3
In a dark cabin within the lower decks of the Siren’s Tear - before it ever reached Utyirth - a heavily bearded man brewed his concoctions in preparation for the journey ahead. Ninazu thought of himself as an artist, not a mere alchemist. He would intentionally keep his face buried under a pile of hair to discourage people from approaching him, leaving him the isolation he sought to fiddle with his herbs and potions. Yet Ganis would not be so easily discouraged. After all, she was trained by Asclepius himself, a man far more dreadful in both sight and demeanor.
Ganis knocked and opened the door without waiting for a response. Ninazu’s pitch black eyes met Ganis’ immediately. He did not appreciate the interruption. To Ganis, it seemed that his stare extended beyond her physical form and into her soul. Even the Dark Gift did not protect Ganis from the coldness of Ninazu’s gaze. She was truly revealed, or so she thought.
The moroi quickly looked away and pretended to gain a sudden interest in her host’s work. “What are you working on?” She hoped to distract Ninazu from his inspection.
“Your eyes. They are different.”
“Different?” Ganis noticed that she was unintentionally avoiding making eye contact, but fought through the urge.
“They are empty.” He removed a glass vial from a flame, slowly causing the liquid to cool down and produce fewer bubbles which settled on a thin stream of stinking smoke. “The eyes tell a story. Yours are simply void.”
Ganis did not appreciate the investigation. She remembered Hephaestion’s suggestion and asked, “Do you have anything for seasickness?”
The man picked up a cylindrical vial resting on the table among several other cork-sealed vials and handed it to Ganis. “Drink this. All of it.”
Ganis took the vial and smelled its contents suspiciously. It had no bitter smell. It was no poison, not that Ganis suspected it. She gulped the clear green liquid immediately and thanked the man, while heading out.
“Wait!” Ninazu spoke just as Ganis was about to close the wooden door.
She returned inside and stood compliantly.
“Pertinax told me a great deal about your past, but there seem to be a missing part in your story, one where the details are obscure. Where were you during the events of the Ancient’s War?”
“I was by Asclepius’ side, aiding in what little way I could.”
“Surely there is some interesting story behind the deeds of the Hero of Nosgard during his confrontation with the Pale Ancient.” Ninazu was suspicious of Ganis, and he had no intention of hiding it.
“All I know of the fight is that he used sorcery to defeat the beast. He turned the Draugr, his servants, into a colossal golem that matched the strength of the Pale Ancient, and used the unnatural construct to defend the realm. Asclepius barely escaped death that day.”
Ninazu looked down, disappointed, and said, “I suppose it would be only fair for me to share my story.”
Ganis nodded, still standing by the door.
He took a deep breath then said, “I came to Nosgard when I was a child no older than ten. Unfortunately, the ship bearing my people crashed, and the few remaining survivors banded together to live as one nomadic tribe. We built
our homes on wheels so we could take them with us along our journey.
“It was customary for each of us to learn a skill necessary for the survival of the people, so I decided to learn alchemy. When the civil war started and the Council came to power, we were hunted down as outlaws. The final Peacekeeper raid on my tribe killed most of us. Young and alone, I had no code to guide my actions and I resorted to crime. I used my skills to create poisons for assassins and bandits in Gallecia.
“My success alerted the authorities about the operation I ran, and they eventually caught and exiled me to Partha, where I met Commander Thane. Thane made me use my skills to preserve life rather than end it. I spent a decade in Partha tending the wounds and injuries of others until I met Lyra, our leader…former leader.
“The coming of the Demigod Servak fueled the Parthan desire for vengeance and finally gave me the opportunity I sought to avenge my Turian brethren. Ever since, I have loyally served Lyra and the Emperor.”
“You are a Turian? Like Sigurd?”
“Indeed, but his story is quite different from mine. Circumstances led my life to be one of solitude, for a time, but Sigurd led a life of seclusion till he met Thane. In spite of all the pain I have been through, I cannot begin to imagine what he has undergone.” Ninazu’s words revealed much, but his face remained as steady as a stone.
“Thank you, Ninazu.”
“Next time tell me the truth, Ganis, and spare no detail.” Ninazu returned to fiddle with his herbs and potions, ignoring Ganis entirely.
Ganis excused herself and left. She made certain to properly close the door once outside and made way to the main deck, where the sunset shined its farewells from the distant horizon.
4
The pills started to take effect on all the Parthan women, but Ganis seemed to be resilient. They had no influence over her yet – somewhat a relief to Ganis, even while still it was a hindrance for the mission.
Ganis approached Ninazu, sitting at the alchemical station he had prepared in a corner of the cave, now well spread with Parthan tools and equipment. It surprised Ganis that he never seemed concerned by having his back facing an entrance, in fact he seemed to prefer such setting. “Did you manage to find a solution?”
He continued to fiddle with some mixtures, pouring different concoctions in separate tubes, each with a single transformation pill within. He managed to catch a few rodents from around the forest and had them kept in cages next to his workbench. Whenever Ganis approached, they would get agitated.
She remained patient until Ninazu was finished with his task, observing the strange rodents he had captured. Some of them looked like rats, but they were smaller and seemed less aggressive. None of them attempted to gnaw at the wooden cages, as rats would certainly do. Perhaps, she thought, he particularly chose these creatures because they would be easier to contain.
Ninazu stopped, turned around on the wooden backless stool Thalia had crafted for him, and said, “How can I help?”
“Have you found a mixture that will work?” she repeated, still examining his pets.
“There are several promising potions, but I am yet to attempt them.” He turned around and took one of the vials he had just brewed. From all the vials he tested during Ganis’ intrusion, it was the only one which bubbled when the liquid made contact with the pill, but it had calmed. Reaching for one of the cages with a smaller sleeping critter, he said, “I need to test a few more.”
Ninazu took out a cage resting atop another, waking the rat-like critter within, unlocked the hatch above it and with one swift swoop pinned the rodent. Holding it carefully from the neck so it would not bite, he pulled it out. The beast tried to escape with no success. “Hold it down.”
Ganis approached and held the beast down, holding it from where Ninazu’s hand had pinned it earlier, and followed his gestures to safely open its mouth. He then dripped two drops of his once-bubbling potion into its mouth. The rodent grimaced and rubbed its tongue on its small front teeth, drooling in an attempt to rid itself from the potion’s vile taste.
Ninazu took the beast from Ganis, it still drooled and fidgeted even more violently, nearly escaping the Turian’s clutches, but found itself once more securely trapped in its wooden cage. The creature turned around, looking for an exit, and stopped once the cage rested back in its original location in but a few moments after it received its intended share of potion.
“I will let you know when it’s ready,” he said. Ninazu returned to his work and started administering similar doses to the other animals. Hoping to avoid the troubling task of helping him again, Ganis excused herself and left the cave.
Outside, Eirene, Thalia and Dindrane sat on a fallen tree trunk. It was a calmer day, with clear skies and singing birds.
“Eirene, I think you look even more handsome as a man than you were pretty as a woman,” Thalia said. She gently caressed the priestess’ face, rubbing her cheek once before Eirene slapped her hand away.
The women started looking a little more masculine, with sharper features, smaller breasts and narrower hips, but it was a small change that could only be recognized by someone who was familiar with them prior to Ninazu’s treatment.
Since she started the transformation, Eirene had been less patient with Thalia’s ridicule. On several occasions she expressed exaggerated violent behavior at her remarks – in relation to her usual attitude which still dulled in comparison to Dindrane’s. “Do not touch me.”
“You are overreacting,” Dindrane said. She calmly played with a stick in the snow, making many shapes by scratching and poking at the soft snow between her feet.
“So how is the situation going with the special parts…you know, down there?” Thalia asked.
“It’s a rather disturbing sight, care to see?” Dindrane started to unbuckle her belt.
“No!” Thalia was quick to stop her, pushing Dindrane’s hands away from her belt buckle. “Checking my own area makes me nervous enough.”
Dindrane chuckled.
Eirene took a deep breath and said, forcing herself to calm down, “This is just a test from Pax.”
“Eirene,” Ganis said, approaching the three women, “is everything well with you?”
Thalia stood and walked into the cave to get some dry firewood. Dindrane reacted by clearing a patch of snow from the ground, revealing the lifeless frozen earth beneath. The two exchanged no words.
“It has been growing exceedingly difficult to control my impulses,” Eirene said. “This explains the violence I occasionally display.” She paused for a moment to produce her small statue of Pax and hold it tightly to her chest. “Pax’s teaching often point to the aggression of men and rarely to that of women. We must remain in control.”
Thalia appeared from within the cave, with an impressive amount of firewood her strengthening arms allowed her. “It seems to me that you’re the only one struggling with it, Eirene.” She dropped the wood, ignoring Eirene’s spiteful gaze, and said, “Ganis, you have been growing more and more beautiful these past few days.”
“This concerns me for several reasons,” Dindrane said. She started preparing the fire, gracefully working the flint.
“It explains why she did not hesitate when she took the pill,” Thalia said. She took a seat next to Eirene, where she sat before getting the wood.
“The pills are not supposed to affect your sexuality, you muscle-headed brute - only your appearance,” Eirene said, getting a look from the other three.
“Did Eirene just use the word ‘sexuality’?” Thalia said, earning her a chuckle from Dindrane.
“It seems the devout servant of Pax has been holding more than her anger at bay,” Dindrane said.
“Yes, Dindrane. Suddenly she does not appear so innocent. I wonder what unholy things she consummated.”
“It’s not an unholy act,” Eirene said, managing herself into a calm tone once more. It was a difficult effort, Ganis could tell, but fairly well hidden.
Hephaestion returned from
one of his hunts, with three dead hares hanging loosely from his belt. “For Pax’s sake, women, shave that dirt off of your face.” He paused for a moment in shock of how easily this comment came to him.
Mumbling, Thalia entered the cave and immediately appeared with a sharp knife and a bowl of water. She headed towards the campfire Dindrane had made and rested the bowl by the fire to keep it warm. The others watched in amazement as the artisan, who always depicted mastery whenever she worked, crudely embarked on the complex task of shaving. Three bowls of hot water later, Thalia was shaved yet her face bled from several small scratches.
“That was a mess,” Dindrane said. She burst in laughter when Thalia looked at her.
“I have to admit that this is far harder than it seems,” Thalia confessed. “I suddenly have a newfound understanding of why some men choose to grow a beard.”
“That is not why though,” Hephaestion said, a faint smile escaping him.
“And you.” Thalia pointed at Hephaestion. “How the bloody hell do you do this every day? I don’t remember one instant where your beard did not seem smooth.”
“I have far more experience than you in that one craft, if you may call it as such. Besides, Pertinax used to have his beard shaved far smoother than I.”
Confused eyes made their way into Thalia’s expression. “How often did you touch his beard?”
“Never.”
Silence prevailed for a moment at the mention of Pertinax.
“Eirene,” Hephaestion said, “Dindrane, you should also start shaving. And for Pax’s sake, pick names that would fit your new appearances.”
Thalia spared no comment while the two shaved, giving them instructions and ridiculing their mistakes. In the end, it was proven that she was, indeed, the most skilled of the three at shaving. When they were finished, she looked at Ganis and said, “One day this will be you too.” They all burst in laughter.
5
“How did you find me?” Ganis said as Ninazu approached her in the woods. She had been spending some time in the woods lately, trying to acquaint herself with the nature of Utyirth and its forests. The snow began to subside three days earlier, and the tree leaves began to reveal themselves.
He slowly walked towards her, barely making a sound as his foot fell on melting snow and dirt. Some broken branches and twigs encountered him, but all remained silent. It was a rare skill to have, even for a Turian.
“You’re a part of our Ona. We always find one another,” He said, sitting next to Ganis on large tree roots which split the surface in a show of natural force. “You make it seem like you don’t want to be disturbed.”
“Aye,” she said. Ever since Initium Keep, Ganis had noticed a slight change in her accent. It was never really gone, but at times she managed to hide it well enough for only the most delicate of ears to catch.
“You still don’t understand what it means to be part of an Ona.”
“I have come to understand many things since my arrival at Utyirth, but the Ona is something that still eludes me.” She looked at Ninazu, with eyes expressionless as if just brought back from deep thought, and said, “Sometimes it feels like I know what it means to be of an Ona. Most of the times I don’t, especially when I see how well you and the others are attuned.”
“It took many years of guided training and struggle for us to achieve such level of unity. Do not mistake your progress for a small feat, Ganis. You have come further than any of us expected in such a short period.” He paused for a moment and produced a leather pouch from his belt. “Anyway, I finally found the problem impeding your transformation.”
Ganis took the pills Ninazu offered her and examined the contents intently. They were similar to those of the others, but the color was slightly darker and the smell stronger. “What was it?”
Your body is different. I had to account for this difference while keeping the ingredients balanced. It was a difficult process. Whenever I changed the mixture a new herb had to be added to counter some of the effects, changing the mixture in itself and requiring yet another minor alteration.” He eyed the contents wearily. “I still am not certain if it will work, but my experiments suggest that the changes have all been accounted for.”
“Then I should try it.” She took a pill out and in one swift swoop swallowed it. It had a fare more bitter taste than the one she took earlier.
“One more thing, Ganis. You will need to avoid feeding to maintain your transformation. The pills contain some form of condensed blood. I hope it will suffice.”
“It is a relief, Ninazu. I was concerned about having to carry around many concoctions and pills hidden away from others.” She stood and stretched.
Ninazu delayed standing up for a moment. Ganis looked at him in silence as an aura of concern engulfed him He is keeping something from me, she thought. “What is it, Ninazu?”
He smiled, a hidden smile under piles of hair, but Ganis knew he smiled. “The resistance you mentioned. Can they be trusted?”
“I believe so.”
“Why?”
“Because like all others, they crave freedom and they know what it will take to get it.” She looked at the top of the tree of which its trunk she sat on. Its highest branches started to come back to life with budding green leaves. “Sometimes our environment requires us to remain hidden, no matter what path is revealed to us.”
“I see.” He stood and took a moment to contemplate, stroking his beard. “How did you manage to get them to see past the illusion of freedom?”
“By showing them how it manifested itself in reality. I have no doubt that some of the prisoners escaped. It would be an easy thing to do with all the disappearances and the little care the guards give them, yet I saw in most of them a type of connection similar to that of the Ona.”
“They were attuned?”
“I would say empathetic.” She looked at Ninazu intently, rubbing her hands clean from dirt with her cloak. “They knew that without their efforts they would soon have no home to return to. You see, Ninazu, the Scylds have cornered them and gave them no choice but to fight - a grave mistake from their part and a grand opportunity for us. The resistance can be trusted.”
6
There was not much the Parthans could do other than wait. Ganis had started to change, the new pills appeared to be a success, and the wait was coming to an end. But with waiting came other problems, and Eirene’s excessive loss of control was becoming threatening to the mission.
The tracks of a deer led Ganis and Eirene deep into the Scyld forest. The melted snow, albeit not entirely so, made their movements swift and unhindered. It felt like a simple chore without the snow, quick and bountiful.
Amidst the chase the two huntresses came across a wild boar. It was an easier target to catch than the distant deer, not that the tracks indicated it was far off.
Eirene reacted swiftly. She crouched and drew her deadly bow, arming it with a steel-tip arrow of Thalia’s craft. She released the arrow with one swift motion, but she was too late and far off the mark. The boar had taken notice of her and quickly rushed off.
“Demons below!” Eirene snapped, kicking at an unsuspecting bush.
It was the first time Ganis saw her miss a target. “Calm down. This isn’t worth angering yourself,” Ganis said, standing up.
“We will starve in this desolate place.” Eirene gestured violently at the trees around her.
This place, Ganis thought, was far from desolate. Life was budding again with the melting of snow and hunting was becoming easier.
“Let us go after the deer, then.”
“Do not patronize me.” Eirene reached for her dagger and boldly stared at her companion.
“I didn’t intend to offend you, and I apologize if I did so. Certainly there is no need to draw weapons?”
Eirene smiled and lunged at Ganis, dagger drawn. She slashed at her mercilessly, but her blows met only air. “You will never be one of us!” she shouted.
Ganis dodged her anger-fuel
ed attacks easily. One of the necessities of battle was to maintain control over emotions in the heat of a fight. It was what separated the veterans from the new recruits; what prevented the deadly mistakes that claimed the lives of many soldiers.
“Stop it!” Ganis shouted. She hit Eirene’s wrist amidst one of her chaotic strikes and disarmed her. With careful footing and a sudden push she managed to pin Eirene to a tree. Eirene attempted to free herself, but the struggle was no match for Ganis’ iron-like grip.
“Release me, you damned fiend!”
“No.”
“Release me. I command you!”
“No.”
“I won’t forgive your insolence, creature of darkness. Do you truly think that you have become one of us? Think again, because that‘ll never happen.”
The words coming from the priestess struck at Ganis’ heart like thousands of tiny needles, digging their way into her core. Bringing her more pain than any steel could. Yet Ganis did not retort. She simply held her position in silence, awaiting Eirene’s rage to fade away.
What do I do? Ganis thought. She could have kept Eirene pinned to the tree for some time yet to come without exerting any serious effort, and it gave her time to think. Her words wound me. Is this how badly I long for being one with the Ona?
Her words are those of anger, not of meaning, Excelsis Dignus, Eos projected.
Eirene continued to struggle and shout her hateful words.
Yet she speaks them so honestly. Tears started forming in Ganis’ eyes.
Remember how far you came from your Peacekeeper days. Channel the strength this memory gives you. Her words do not hurt you because they are true, they hurt you because you believe them. Eos was right. Eirene could say whatever she wanted, in this feral state, and it would not have changed the truth. The priestess merely projected what she knew Ganis though.
Ganis shook away her doubts and focused her thoughts on the moment. Eirene needed her. It was not the time to be weak. Ganis eased her grip, but it still proved firm enough to prevent Eirene from escaping. “Priestess,” she shouted. “have you abandoned Pax already?”
“What?” Eirene’s fidgeting was brought to an abrupt end. Her eyes widened in confusion.
“I remember you welcoming the challenge of the transformation as a test of Pax. Perhaps I was mistaken about you.” She released her grip entirely and walked away, turning her back on the priestess disappointingly.
Eirene’s eyes went cold and she stood still for a long moment. “How dare you question my belief?” Her voice was hesitant. The inner conflict was still unresolved. “You don’t control me or understand the true path of peace and everlasting light.”
Ganis remained silent. She continued walking away from the priestess.
“Look at me, Ganis.” Her voice calmed. She rushed towards Ganis and held her shoulder, turning Ganis to face her.
Ganis prepared herself for another brawl, tensing her muscles and shifting her weight, but Eirene intended no such offense.
“Thank you,” she said with a gentle – yet masculine – voice, returning to her usual tone. “I did not mean what I said. I was consumed by rage.”
Ganis relaxed. “The pills are changing you, Eirene. I understand it’s a difficult time for us. We must help each other out until we get accustomed to our new bodies and minds.” She paused for a moment, struggling to utter the next words. “You were right about this. It’s a test - and a difficult one too.”
“Well spoken.” Eirene produced the statue of Pax. It has become withered since she first saw it on the Siren’s Tear, Commodore Habitus’ ship.
“You could ask Thalia to make you another one.” She nodded at the small figurine of Pax in Eirene’s hand.
Eirene smiled, looking at the faded face of Pax. “Thalia did not carve it for me. It was entirely my making, and it cannot be replaced. You see, Ganis, to make a Lenion figurine you need naturally fallen wood from a sacred tree only found in Nosgard.”
“You must have gotten it just before we came to Utyirth.”
“Indeed.” Eirene rubbed the figurine’s head with her thumb. “It is unlikely that I will ever get another one. Even if I do, it will be sacrilege for me to discard a Lenion figurine.”
Ganis hummed and nodded. “Come. Let us find this deer.”
7
It was a dark night marked with a crescent moon and cloudy skies when the Parthans gathered for the last time in their makeshift cave shelter.
“Have you chosen your names yet?” Hephaestion asked. He sat by the fire, the closest of the nine Parthans to the heat, and held his hands by the warm flames, eyeing it intently as it gracefully danced. He had a pile of twigs and firewood by his side, but never reached for it to feed the fire.
“I have chosen mine, Drain,” Dindrane said. She left her red hair long and braided, shaving her beard entirely. After her transformation was complete, she could easily be mistaken for Percival, with the exception of being slightly shorter and more muscular.
Hephaestion turned his head to Thalia’s blue eyes. She preferred to cut her hair short, even as a woman, and completely removed her pony tail, allowing her blonde hair to form vertical spiked strands.
“Thalus,” she said, stroking the scruff of a beard she had on her chin.
“And I have chosen to be Rein,” Eirene said. Keeping her long hair tucked into her red armor and her beard completely shaven. She had not managed to grow a beard, but the few buds were quickly removed whenever she noticed them.
“I suppose there is no need for Ganis to change her name,” Hephaestion said, “unless they already know of you in Scyldur.” He eyed her wearily. It would have been an inconvenience if her deeds reached Scyldur, and could influence their mission if anyone recognized her – a difficult task with the effect Ninazu’s treatment had on her.
“Aye,” Ganis said, “I’ll keep it.”
“Very well, then.” He looked at Thalus, indicating to him that the weakening fire needed more fuel. Thalus obliged immediately and naturally. “We head to Scyldur tomorrow and see what we can do to infiltrate their society. We do not know enough about the Scylds to have a reliable plan. I believe we would fare better without one at this point.”
“What of Ganis’ time at Initium Keep?” Percival asked. He stood next to Drain, looking strikingly similar with his red hair and grey eyes. It took Hephaestion some time before he regained his composure and answered.
“I suspect there are significant differences between how the prisoner and guard Scylds in Initium Keep live and how the Scylds in the city live,” Hephaestion said. “We should not rely on what we know of Initium Keep.” He eased back onto his seat, getting away from the strengthening fires.
A few moments of silence prevailed before Thalus broke it. “Who would have guessed that we will be sitting in a cave somewhere in Utyirth, talking to…changed versions of ourselves – some more than others – and discussing a completely unplanned infiltration.” Thalus scratched his head in amazement. “I think I’m losing my mind.”
“Don’t worry, Thalia…Thalus,” Percival said. “You lost your mind long ago.”
The Parthans burst in laughter. It echoed in the cave even after they had concluded it.
“Rein,” Hephaestion said, looking at the transformed Eirene who stood by himself in a corner, staring at the fire as if it spoke to him.
At the mention of his name, Rein returned Hephaestion’s eye contact.
“How are the urges?” Hephaestion asked.
“Urges?”
“The anger. Have you gotten used to it?”
Rein nodded. He put his hand into one of the many pockets in his belt and kept it there. They all knew that he reached to the Lenion figurine, but none mentioned it. “It will not be a hindrance.” He returned his eyes on the fires.
“We trust your judgment,” Hephaestion said. “Tomorrow we cover our tracks here and head to Scyldur. Prepare for everything.”