And keep reading to get a sneak peek at Spirits:
The Nakben Queen
Loving her was easier when I thought we were going to die.
I dreaded each time the evening fell to leave me helpless and exposed to the darkness within. Over and over, I saw my friends-saw Micha-kneeling at the top of a stone platform. The former queen held the long, Nakben blade to separate his head from his shoulders, radiating pain through my neck, as if it had been severed as well.
It started with Khasla, a gifted Striker with an aptitude for searing heat who had let us escape the dungeons. While he waited for the right moment to use his Spark to save himself, the queen drove the copper blade between his ribs before letting him fall into the pit of molten stone below. My chest ached with the agony of the cool metal between my ribs, a sensation I knew would haunt me as vividly as the rest.
Before the horror of Khasla's death had settled in, Jhoma was dragged to the precipice, fighting the guards with his unmatched strength, but failing against so many of them. He had turned to face the queen, refusing to die while he still had the muscle to overpower her. There was no way for him to know she anticipated his reaction, puncturing his gut before he had a chance to lift a manacled fist. Limp as the life had left him, he careened back into the pit and disappeared as Khasla had.
In that moment, the fear began to overwhelm. Tied to a chain and helpless, I could only watch and scream as Micha was all but carried up the stone tower to the same fate. Saving his last conscious moments for the woman he loved, my oldest friend didn't stand or fight as Xiuhpilli slit his neck in a single motion. The only thing worse than the visions themselves was the realization that they were no more my imagination than the simmering beauty next to me; they were memories.
As if the flesh of my mind were truly seared, the images consumed until I could scarcely see anything else. Through my best efforts, the struggles began to wear me down. More than anything, that night in Chimalma couldn't be forgotten.
"Lark-" Khea's hand stroked my sweat-covered chest like she did on so many nights. My eyes fluttered open to find nothing but more darkness. After a moment, I could make out the faint hint of moonlight around the edges of the thick velvet covering the east windows.
"You had a nightmare again," she added, as if I didn't know. In fact, there was no denying they were getting worse. It had been at least a month since a night when I was free of the torment. Beside the haunting visions, my Spark gave me greater insight to the events, offering the pain as Micha felt it, the fear of death and leaving Isuet alone which he experienced in his final moments. My chest still burned from the heat of his blood even as Khea's hand moved back and forth to calm me.
The familiar shame crept up into my cheeks. I missed Micha. I loved him as my lost friend, but it didn't make it any easier to endure the night terrors or admit how lost I had become. And I hated to show how much his death affected me in front of Khea.
A man should be strong. A man should protect his wife. Even without the Affinity to keep us bound together, I felt the strong urge to protect her courtesy of the trace of my mother's Spark which lived within me. Technically, we weren't really married and, according to Nakben law, we never would be. Even with a child in our future, the queen could never take a husband-though that hardly changed the reality of our relationship.
The only defense against my disgrace was the thin band of copper I wore on my left hand. Khea had charmed my father's ring with a hawk's image to keep out Readers, but I doubted my recent use was what she had in mind. It was quite clear she hated it.
I moved my arm to wipe the beaded moisture from my brow and attempted to roll away from her. My love for Khea was eternal and transcending, but I didn't want her to see me at my weakest. Despite the rise of my shoulder off the feathered bed, a small yet strong hand pushed me back down.
"You can't avoid this, Lark. Talk to me." The wall sconces burned with light that hadn't been there a moment before, the sudden flames a clear sign of her resentment at being pushed away. The light illuminated the black band of tattoos wrapped around her upper arm, a repeating pattern of iconic suns representing the queen she had killed to save our lives and earn her title. Not only was it a horrific reminder of that night our friends were murdered, but it was also a barbaric and permanent mutilation of an otherwise perfectly beautiful young woman.
"Talk to me," she repeated.
She had uttered the precise phrase I was hoping to avoid. Verbal communication was strained lately, partly because we weren't used to it. It can't be helped. To let her in to one thought would be to let her in to all of them, and some were too awful to be shared. I wanted to let her in, to be like we used to, but I couldn't bear her knowing how dark my thoughts had become. What would she think of me?
"I'm fine. Go back to sleep." I planted a gentle kiss on her brow in hopes she would somehow sense how much I wanted to save her from the pain of it. I feigned as much quietude as I could manage, but I doubted if she believed my fa?ade. She had loved Micha, too, and his death caused agony for her as well-but it wasn't the same. If creating a distance was the only way to keep her safe from my pain, then I would do it no matter how I hated it.
As my pulse began to settle, a pair of small, warm lips nestled against my neck just below the ear. Without permission, her soft mouth against the sensitive skin brought gooseprickles to the surface. "Khea-"
There was no doubt I loved her, that I would spend my life devoted. She was easily the most beautiful woman to have graced the world in centuries, and I was pretty sure it wasn't only me. The lightning of her touch held mysterious power over me, and I was all but helpless. But I wasn't ready. Flashes of Micha still darted through my rattled mind.
Despite my meager protest, her mouth opened and pulled in the lobe of my ear as her hand roved across my chest with purpose.
"Don't," I clarified.
Instead, her hand moved up to my cheek to pull my mouth to meet hers. I was drawn in as always, but my anguish fought against it. Heat radiated through her skin even more, one of my favorite aspects of her Spark. But still it wasn't enough.
"Don't," I said again, more harshly than I had intended.
Khea pulled away instantly, and I didn't need to see her face or sense her with my Spark to know she was angry, probably hurt. The slow draw of her breath and the sudden coolness of her skin against me were clear enough. A moment later, her warmth disappeared entirely as she moved to the far side of the bed, angrily clutching at the silk sheets and hoarding them in her arms. It was just as well. I wouldn't sleep the rest of the night.
The next thing I knew, sun beamed in through the open curtains to illuminate the empty bed beside me. I quickly realized I must have fallen asleep and, for once, had slept through until late morning. It would have been a relief if it weren't for Khea's anger. She must really be mad. Since moving into the luxurious amenities in Uxmal, she had always remained in bed until I woke, careful to keep quiet while I recovered some sleep from the disturbed nights. That morning was the first I had woken alone. The drapes pushed aside to let in the bright, morning light were a far cry from the usual.
There was nothing to do but wrap the simple, black fabric around my waist and wash my face for the day. The palace was large, but it would be easy enough to find her. The constant traffic in and out of the palace left us relegated to the upper floors.
While each of us had started life in poverty and hunger, we found ourselves living and sleeping in a room built for royalty. Heavy, sapphirine velvet hung from floor to ceiling and surrounded the enormous space. Matching drapes blocked the light through a series of windows no less than fifteen feet tall. The stone terrace extended out over the capital city so Khea could look upon her empire.
I stepped into the hall, determined. She usually ate her morning meal on her way to council, a slight helping of cheese and fruit. She had never had much of an appetite, probably due to the years of little to no food she had endured in Lagodon, but lately she ate even less.
Her stomach weakened by pregnancy had reduced her meals to meager bites of the lightest fare, though she would never admit it. The pressures of her rule already began to take their toll, as she spent day after day finding new solutions to the oldest problems.
The palace manager, Icnoyo, orchestrated an enormous ceremony to celebrate her rise to the throne. Thousands filled every corner and corridor in the massive structure as food and drink were downed. The new queen had been presented with the deep blue fabric that marked her as ruler of the strange, violent peoples, though she still kept the thin silver chain over it. She had accurately guessed how much I liked the glint of metal against her pale skin.
In the past month, the leaders of each major city and tribe had traveled to Uxmal to meet Khea and pledge their loyalty, as was customary to the new queen. Tepoztli of Tlaloc came with a cart full of fine fabrics and offered two stout soldiers to be added to her guard. A ship arrived full of exotic fruits and flowers-including the Lightfish, which Khea planted in a large ceramic pot on the terrace despite its unappealing odor-courtesy of the high priestess, Yaotl.
The tall beauty, Itzamna, represented the Ahua, one of the marine tribes that survived aboard a series of ships in the Northos. One of the only men to visit, Nacon, extended the courtesy of the Xaman Ek with a single black ox. And, Cintin, the eldest daughter of the Metnal tribe on the coast of Uxmal brought a basket of cacao, a delicacy. The tribes rarely sent the elders, as they were much too frail to survive the trip, instead soliciting their favors with children of the noble families. It was all rather overwhelming.
The morning council meeting was designed to allow the queen to hear updates and concerns from across the nation. Anything from food shortages to impending war were discussed, but the final decisions rested with Khea. As much as I wanted to help her bear that burden, we had agreed it wasn't my place. The Nakbens valued women as leaders, and my presence at council meetings only confused things. In truth, I was thankful to be saved from the pressures of rule, content with managing my own internal conflicts.
Tototl's presence on the council offered a bit of comfort. Amongst a group of completely unreadable elders and local officials, my one loyal friend made all the difference. He was by far the youngest member-with only fifteen summers-but he had shown his worth when we needed him most, and no one was likely to forget it.
"You're an idiot, you know that?" I turned to see Avis with his usual smirk as he approached down the narrow corridor. Traditional Nakben dress revealed his cut chest and narrow waist, which had been hidden by the light gray coverings at Myxini. The warm brown stone reflected the early morning light so he appeared far younger than his many years.
He was referring to Khea, of course. They were close, probably closer since I had shut them both out. If she wanted him to know about last night, he would have the full memory instantly.
"Yeah, yeah." His look changed completely when I didn't engage in his taunts. As much as he didn't like it, I was glad my father's ring blocked him from knowing how much was truly wrong in my head.
"Did you eat?" Still? After years of mentoring me through school and being a major factor in developing my ability to read minds, Avis was more concerned with making sure I ate three square meals. Some things will never change.
"Headed there now," I lied. The walk to the kitchen level would take several minutes but Avis followed me all the way, maintaining his shadow-like silence and proximity. I was going to have to actually get breakfast, which was probably his plan. As much as I didn't want to talk, I couldn't deny my comfort in the fact he was still there. At least one part of my life is constant.
In the weeks since Chimalma, I should have had no reason for complaint. I found myself as far away from my desperate childhood in Lagodon as a person could get: plentiful food, luxuries of which I could only dream.
The palace had an equally impressive kitchen which served all manners of traditional cuisine. As a nation of islands, fresh fish, crab, and other marine animals were always available, though my taste for fish had never returned since leaving Lagodon. Instead, I opted for fresh fruit and a sweet flatbread served by one of the hundreds of staff members employed at the palace; more people worked in the single building than lived in the entirety of my home village. I almost felt guilty to think of all those in the world who struggled to eat, my father included. I promised myself yet again I would find a way to help them.
Unsurprisingly, Avis continued to walk two steps behind me as I moved back up to the queen's chambers on the top floor and walked out onto the terrace. "Here? Of all places?" Avis asked with astonishment.
Like him, I could scarcely get sight of the stone bench without thinking about that afternoon. I had worn the Nakben-style fabric around my waist for the first time as I met the former queen and bargained for my life. Khea was dead then, or at least I had thought she was. Xiuhpilli paraded her before me like a prize looking as stunning as ever, thankfully shattering my delusion that she had been killed upon capture in the Northos Sea. As much as I hated to think back to that time, a part of me enjoyed the reminder she was alive, that she had never been anything but alive. The cold stone against my skin was as much a memory of life as anything else.
"Fine," Avis continued when I refused to answer except to pop a pair of amberberries into my mouth. He found a space to lean against the rail and began his intended protest of my behavior.
"We all miss Micha..."
My teeth clenched and refused to move. I had known the conversation was coming, but there was little to alleviate my anxiety about it.
"...But you can't keep doing this."
I don't want to talk about it. Hadn't I made that clear? "Drop it," was all I could manage.
"Seriously, it was awful. Really awful. We were all there."
"No. You weren't. Drop it." Avis of course had had access to my thoughts that night, and he could get whatever pieces Khea allowed him. But he hadn't been there. He didn't see Khasla with a knife through his ribs, or Jhoma plummeting off the tower into a pit of magma. He didn't see his friends die one by one. And it wasn't his fault.
I snapped out of my fog when I felt his hand land on my bare shoulder, but I slapped him away as quick as a reflex. My food landed in a scatter onto the tile.
"Fine, sit and pout if you want. What are you going to do when your child is born?" He said it as if I hadn't thought about it. Khea had told me at the start of the season. It would be weeks before she had any sign, but it didn't mean I had forgotten.
As ecstatic as I was to have Khea in my life and move on to the next stage, my total inability to keep her safe petrified me. Adding a child only served to make it worse.
"Damn, Avis, drop it!"
"No, you can't do this anymore. You have Khea; you'll have a child soon. And you have work to do. This has to end. What do-"
I hadn't struck Avis in a long while, and for the first time in my life I caught him truly by surprise. He toppled backwards over the stone bench, and I had to dodge his upended feet to get to his face. His chest was pinned under my body where I straddled him on the stone, his arms held down by my knees. I only landed a dozen or so punches, far less than I intended, but Avis quickly came to his senses and wriggled free enough to block.
Clarity began to return, but not before the damage was done. Slowly I rose off of him.
"Damn, Lark," Avis growled with a hand up to his swelling face and bleeding cheek. It was clear he was angry, but I was livid and not nearly satisfied. He gave me a stare for a long moment before moving back into the palace and out into the corridor.
Shit.
In a haze, I moved over to stand where Avis had and looked out over the capital city. My shaking arms kept me propped up against the rail, but it took a few minutes before my thoughts cleared enough to let me appreciate the view.
Uxmal was beautiful despite its relatively humble population. Mud homes covered with straw-thatched roofs spread out until the city intersected the dense jungle wh
ich separated it from the sea. The positioning was clever in terms of defense, though the tribes hardly needed it-they were the most sophisticated fighters in the world.
Looking down over the streets, a fleeting thought returned. A hundred feet down would surely kill someone. While I relished the end of my misery, the Affinity wouldn't let me do more than consider it. Even if I had the courage to try, I was sure Khea would find a way to save me in time. In the end, it would only bring me more shame.
Above the trees in the distant jungle, I could make out a faint, green glimmer. As a cloud or thick wisp of vapor, it moved up through the canopy, slowly getting thicker and greener as it collected. Probably smoke from some crazy ritual. Either that or I'm seeing things. However, I didn't get more than a moment to consider the strange apparition.
A large metal door slammed nearby and I knew I was in for it.
"Lark Davies, have you gone mad?" I was a little taken aback when Khea raised her voice to me in anger for the first time. I wasn't sure it wasn't warranted though; it was quite possible I was truly starting to lose my mind.
I didn't have much to say for myself so I stayed quiet and pretended to look out over the rail. Through reading Avis, she had known what happened the moment it occurred, and her delay had probably only been due to the time it took her to cross the palace.
"Hey," she said more quietly. Soon, I felt her arms wrap around my waist as she slid her body between mine and the rail. I knew she could feel my chest pounding, feel my rage, feel me shutting down-but she stood there with her arms around me as if she tried to help me support the weight of my depression.
After a few minutes, her closeness and warmth began to break through my anger. Pain began to settle into my hands where they struck Avis, and I knew he probably felt much worse. I had taken it too far.
"You think he'll be fine?" I asked quietly.
Khea flung her lovely blonde hair over her shoulder and looked up at me with an undeserved smile. "Yeah, I fixed him up in the corridor."
Of course.
My head was so messed up with the trauma of Micha's death that I had barely bothered to deal with that period of time when I had thought her dead. I was comforted by her healing, by her strength. Nothing terrible can happen to someone with so much power, I continued to remind myself. During those days, the absence of her voice in my head had seemed like confirmation of her death. I even left Chimalma without looking for her because I was so sure she was gone. I would have given anything for another moment with her.
And now I keep her blocked. I was crushed to think of it, how bad I had let things get. Khea's face found the crook of my neck and nestled in closer so I could feel her breath on my skin. Her hands traced across my chest and up to my shoulders before moving down to gently stroke my arms. A slight raise of her head introduced her lips on my neck, the same as the night before. Instead of turning her away, I dropped my chin and met her lips with mine, letting myself get lost in her kiss. With the Affinity bonding our Sparks together, just her touch was an intoxication in which I was eager to be consumed. Anything to alleviate the pain.
Distracted by her mouth and her body planted against mine, I hardly felt her fingers moving across my left hand, searching. It was as if she could sense me breaking. Small fingers wrapped around my father's ring and began to gently pull. I could have stopped her easily. I could have pulled my hand away. I had physical strength which she would never possess. But I let her continue and even moved slightly to allow the ring to slide off a moment sooner.
The whirlwind of her thoughts and emotions flooding in was intoxicating, especially when I held her so close and kissed her so eagerly. I was slammed by her wall of relief-not only at being inside my head again, but at being given permission. My willingness to let her in gave her hope I wasn't completely lost, and I suddenly realized how dismissive of her fears I had been.
To reach me fully the way she wanted, Khea stood on the tips of her bare toes and pulled on my shoulders. The slight change in position resulted in her bare chest and whole body pressed against me, spilling waves of warmth through my skin. God I missed this.
Weeks had passed since the last time we had lost it together that way. Neither of us had left the palace grounds, but a clear division had formed nonetheless. We weren't the same, and it was certainly the result of my withdrawal. The return of her thoughts felt so much more palpable, so much more a treasure after their total absence. It was all I could do to race my hands across her skin in an attempt to pull her a bit closer.
When that wasn't enough, Khea lifted herself against the rail until she sat on top of it with her legs wrapped around me. The terrace stood nearly one hundred feet over the streets of Uxmal, and a moment of paralyzing anxiety struck me as I realized she could fall. I quickly scooped up her slender frame to carry her back inside. Her loss was not one I was prepared to suffer again.
While our mouths never parted, and her hands continued to clutch at the muscles across my back, the motions of the physical world paled compared to the tempest in our minds. After the wave of relief came her obvious attraction and her struggles with the council. At the same time, she peeled away at the layers of my own emotions and found the depth of my pain from that night in Chimalma, and how terribly her feigned death still affected me.
With our limbs tangled and hearts opened once more, it was difficult to sense the darkness swirling in at first. Like a disease, it snuck in slowly, nearly invisible as it grew. Swirling like the water of tide pool, it seeped into the recesses, coagulating and coating her essence with the tar-like substance.
Left to itself, the darkness had grown within the confines of my mind, gradually taking control until I could scarcely stand it any longer. Once the block was removed, it had easy access to affect whoever connected their mind to mine. Khea was only the first.
Our bodies were consumed with the actions of roving hands and heaving chests, but there was no mistaking the black that threatened to consume her in much the same way as it had all but consumed me. Her concentration waned as she fought it back, a reflex from years of suffering. She pressed it down as far as she could but still it began to bubble over. Already, she began to search for a way to push the darkness back out before it could damage her further.
By the time the sun reached its noon position above, Khea and I each lay exhausted and naked in every way. Why didn't you tell me? I heard her ask silently, the same gentle voice filling the spaces of my mind as naturally as my ears. She could easily find the answer herself, but I savored the sound of her in my head again. I had missed her, missed her silent voice more than I had cared to admit even to myself.
Khea rolled over to slide her shoulder under my arm and lay her hand across my chest. It wasn't long before a series of cool tears began to roll out from her eyes and leave a trail down one of my ribs.
"Ladybird-" I started, but quickly ran out of words. Her death haunted me, despite the fact it never happened, and Micha's murder still hung heavy on me. Now, I had done the unthinkable-I had let my darkness infect her.
The damage was done. The dark cloud circled around her, trickling in a little more with each passing moment. Khea and I were hardly strangers to heartache or loss, but this consuming black was different. And I'd let it spread. As much relief as the sharing offered, the guilt of shading her with the darkness was far greater. A weight of grief and fear pressed upon her, the same as my own. Her chest heaved to take in breath and her eyes clamped shut, as if closing them would help to keep it away.
Like the band around her arm, I had allowed her to be marked with permanent black. Painful and dark, I knew she would never truly recover from the depth of my scars.
It had been a mistake to let her in-that much was clear.
No. Fresh tears rolled down my ribs with renewed anguish. Don't lock me out again.
If anyone could understand how awful the silence could be, it was certainly me. Sharing our every thought and experiencing the constant conne
ction was far too comforting to be given up lightly. But how was I supposed to burden her with my struggle? It was clearly more than a person could bear.
As much as I wanted to be that protection for her, to be the one to keep her safe, I had already failed. It was her own value that had kept her alive when she had been captured in the weeks before, and I failed again when I let her know how helpless I'd become. There was only one choice to make.
Without stopping to replace the fabric at my waist, I darted to the terrace and found the bit of copper still sitting on the rail.
"Lark!" Her voice begged loudly from inside, a desperate, pleading frustration.
Nothing I could do would keep her from pain. I could let her suffer alone outside my torment, or bring her down into it with me. I knew fully well what each of them meant, but there was only one choice I could live with.
I slid the cool metal back onto my finger amidst renewed cries. I would never again make the mistake of taking it off.
To be continued?
About RS McCoy
Rachel McCoy is a Texan living in New Jersey. Between binge-watching MTV reality shows and baking gluten-free treats, she writes paranormal fantasy and science fiction novels.
She is the self-published author of the Sparks Saga trilogy, The Alder Tales series, and The Extraction Files Part One and Two. Back when she lived in the real world, Rachel earned a degree in marine biology, which contributed to her die-hard love of manta rays.
To connect with RS McCoy (or swap recipes), visit her on her website (www.rsmccoyauthor.com) or check out her Facebook page (www.facebook.com/AuthorRSMcCoy). You can also join her newsletter to receive release updates, free stories, and bonus extras (https://eepurl.com/YItp1).
Works by RS McCoy
The Sparks Saga
Sparks
Spirits
Schism
The Luminary Chronicles
The Lightning Luminary
The Sea Shade
The Alder Tales
Blossom and the Beast
Raene and the Three Bears
Hale and Gemini
The Snow Owl
The Extraction Files
The Killing Jar
The Lethal Agent
Connect with RS McCoy:
Friend me on Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/AuthorRSMcCoy
Follow me on Twitter:
https://twitter.com/RSMcCoy1
Visit my Author Website:
https://rsmccoyauthor.com
Sign up to Receive Emails
Thank you for reading books on BookFrom.Net Share this book with friends